>Date girl on and off for year and a half
>She said it wasn't going to work and ended it for good a few weeks ago
>Still have some feelings
>We both go to a smaller uni
>Have a lecture together
>See her on campus sometimes
>Lots of mutual friends who still hang out with her
>Some of my closer friends still hang out with her even though they've known me longer
>Hear her name mentioned daily in passing
>See her face daily
>Every time either of this happens I get really angry/depressed
How the fuck do I get over her? She's deeply integrated into my social circle and I'm reminded of her constantly. This would be so much easier if we went to separate unis or had fewer mutual friends.
>Pic related, me when I see her/hear about her
Date another girl, see if she get jealous
This may seem like it's going against everything your emotions are telling you, but try to find another girl for the time being. I know you may not be in the mood for it, but a good way to rid yourself of the old burden is to work on another hope of a relationship or something more casual. This brings the feeling of power back to you that every human needs.
>>16928915
>>16929018
I would like to find a new girl, but it's easier said than done. I have pretty much no game and I'm not super attractive, plus my ex was really hot so my standards are gonna be higher.
>>16929034
Of course, just give it the best you got. If you were able to get a girl like her before, it's proven you can do it again. In times like these it's especially important to remember the good things you've done and to keep self esteem high.
Do you have anything you can really focus on right now? I know it's hard to stay distracted by a healthy hobby when there's romantic feelings on the line, but if you intentionally try to prioritize it and get excited it will help relieve your feelings and as a bonus, it makes you more attractive to other girls. Like getting a new girl, this is also easier said than done, but having a long streak of keeping strong while letting your heart spill in your private moments is key.
>>16929051
I try to think about it that way, but my ex had a little bit of a rep for being easy and talking to a lot of guys, leading me to believe that she doesn't really count, per se.
No, no real hobbies. I don't do much besides work, school, and hang out with friends. Really thinking about lifting again, but I failed so many times at it that I'm a little discouraged.
>>16929068
It still counts but you can do better than her. It's hard to wait and be patient while working to get a girl but the efforts are worth it.
If you're doing work and school it would be hard to really focus on a hobby, but if you can fit in lifting and afford the amount of food, all power to you. Don't worry about the failing part. I can't remember who said it, but some old Bishop said something about the best followers aren't the ones that stick with it the longest, but those who have hearts that wander but always return. I'm probably saying it wrong, but the lesson is to never feel ashamed of failing and to not let it get to you. Consider this another start where you can succeed.
Obviously being a complete optimist is hard and feels weird, but it's important to keep it to a healthy level since pessimism in these moments of life is so easy.
>>16929096
That's part of the problem; I really don't know if I can do better looks wise.She was cute as hell, and had a great body, a 9/10 in my book. Her personality was shitty, but still. I know focusing on looks is shallow but I can't help but think about it.
Thanks for sharing that quote, I really like it. Think I'm gonna give it another shot starting next week. Affording the food is a problem, but it's better to lift than to do nothing.
Yeah, it feels really difficult to be optimistic right now. Every other time we broke up, excluding the first time, I had a feeling she would want me back eventually. This time, not at all. She definitely made it clear that it was over. I feel so damn lonely, man. I don't feel like absolute shit all day long, but there's this lingering sadness and frustration that comes out whenever I think about things or spend time alone with my thoughts. Life without her just doesn't seem as happy, she was a constant reassurance for me.
>>16929123
You can't doubt yourself like that. You dated a 9/10 in your books and you should be proud of that, hell even I'm proud of you, but you will have plenty of opportunities in your life to date other 9/10's or even 10/10's in your books. Try to keep in mind that you still have feelings for her, and having feelings for anyone will boost their attractiveness to you. No to say she isn't attractive by herself, but you are seeing her with a "Heart glow".
You seem like an intelligent and in touch man, and I think you would do best by taking this bad experience and using it as fuel. A lot of people let it get to them, and at times it will (Don't beat yourself up about it, let it out), but if for much of the time you can turn this opportunity (Possibly a sign) that something better will come and that there is a space for growth available to you to workout, you should take it! A bit of a heartbreak kickstarts a lot of people to lift, excel at their careers, or become artists. It's your time to grow.
You said your partner had a shitty personality, but think of this. You can find a girl that is less of a flirt, prettier, and someone you connect with. She'll be a 10/10 in your books, and that future girl that's waiting for you on the horizon will appreciate you going to the gym, doing well in school, and keeping your chin up.
I'm not being overly optimistic either. People have been in similar situations to yours. Some have let it get to them, bottled it all up, caved in and gave up and it took them years to shake it off. You have an opportunity at this moment to take yourself to the next level. You will adapt and thrive, and always ALWAYS keep the future love of your life in your mind even if it's just a blur.
Do it for her and do it for yourself. You deserve it.
>>16929177
Thanks man, I appreciate all the kind words of encouragement. I'm gonna try my best to keep my head up and I'm definitely gonna commit myself to lifting again.
I don't even know if I really believe in "true love" or "the one" anymore. I feel like I just want a hot girl who's obsessed with me. I think I subconsciously have an inferiority complex and a very low self-esteem. To me, a hot girlfriend alleviates all of that, but it's only temporary. Guess I get what I deserve when I pursue relationships like this.
