>>16927576
yeah he was probably really desperate and spent a ton of time internet dating and reading internet guides instead of having real relationships

I know because I followed the same route, I've read all the top google hits for common phrases like "how to tell if she likes you" a million times

>>16927579
oh geez, i think that's the word i was looking for. it seems like he was desperate, for sure. he had actually mentioned this to me before, but with a different kind of story that made me feel like it was justified at the time.

i don't know how to feel about that especially since well... at least he treats me well and i pretty much trust he won't cheat on me. he'd be the first guy that i dated that treated me with so much respect. other guys i've dated were very casual about everything.

>>16927576
Why cant you just let it go. Hes into you and takes an effort to be that manual for you. Even if its not intentional, hes trying to be the best guy for you. Girls are retarded i swear. "Oh he cheated on me, what a scumbag", "oh hes too perfect for me, what a scumbag". You dont deserve that guy, leave im so a girl more appreciative can find him

>I met my bf on a dating site, but ewww its weird that he used to use dating sites
>he's great, but it seems like he learned about women before becoming great
>should I like someone who was desperate in the past?

You know OP, sometimes it's not all about communication. Sometimes it's about deep down inside, not being such a huge bitch.

Fuck you.

love,
anon

>>16927592
its normal to not really be thrilled about it, knowing that he had a lot of trouble before you means there was probably something wrong with him for a long time

tons of respect is another sign that he's really inexperienced too, its why the most "respectful" men are those m'lady white knight types who have never really been in a relationship

>>16927598
women love being treated like shit, it's true

that's why OP's bf is failing - he's being too nice. He still doesn't have a good grasp on the unfortunate quirks of dating a woman.

But don't worry OP - he'll either figure it out and fuck a few other girls on the side and leave you shackled to him in tearful misery, or he won't cheat and you'll get bored of him and move on.

>>16927597
How do i give this reddit gold Kappa

>>16927601
you cant just treat women like shit, you have to treat them half shitty and then half leading them on

>>16927595
well i can see how my post came off, but i still do appreciate him very much.

it just feels kind of weird i guess. when we matched, he pretty much convinced himself that i was "the one" after i was just being a decent person, and really clung on to me. at the time, i figured you know... maybe there was something that stuck out about me and i started to believe it too.

but now when i look back at this... it feels like he probably behaved this way because i was one of the only sane and skinny chicks that was nice to him online.

again... not sure how to feel about this

>>16927605
yeah you're going to get some negative reactions here because lots of people on this site are in your boyfriends shoes but its totally justified

the odds of online dating are fucking stacked against men and he really was probably just going with you (at least at first) just because you were the most normal woman who would have him

he also was more or less following a script of relationship guides instead of being himself

its fine to not like those 2 things

acknowledge that you arent happy with those 2 and then decide if its enough to want to end it or not

>>16927576
the truth is, many people just don't know how to deal with relationships and such. especially people who are on datingsites clearly aren't satisfied with wat they have.

now what do people who aren't happy being alone do? they go on datingsites and read howto's.

fast forward, he met you. Off course he put some of the stuff he red into practice cause he liked you and wanted it to work at all cost!

>i guess with everything i listed, it kind of suggests "something was wrong" with him and i feel like he's not really being himself around me? or that maybe he's not what i thought he was?
ok, first of all, if he's able to be "not himself" for 10 months then he should get a career in acting, seriously! or what you have must be really shallow, but still... showing yourself from your best side, especially in the beginning is not not being yourself either, as long as it doesn't go into pretending or where it feels uncomfortable.
The thing for you to do now is to just talk about it. Ask him about his past with girls, whether he was nervous at first etc..
It might be difficuilt for him cuz for guys it's verry hard to talk about their insecurities, especially since the internet (especially whatever he's been reeding) is full of how sexy confidence is. You need to assure him it's ok to talk about this and that you'll accept him no matter what (So what if he was nervous, so were you probably!!!).
it might be a difficuilt talk but you'll be happy to understand him better.
In fact I find it surprising that in 10 months this hasn't come up yet!

>>16927605
Lol would you rather him tell you hes got other bitches line up but ur aight so u guys can chill first? Look im a guy alot like him, except i dont even try to date anymore because of girls like you. I could care less about the bitches that lack a chromosome so they go for the big buff football guys. Its when i meet a nice girl and everything goes good and she just breaks it off that sucks. If you break up with him, he will probably be destroyed kinda how i was. At this point id just rather be a dick and hook up with chicks for a quick pump and chuck and then move on, you guys dont deserve any better

>>16927597
>>16927601
it's not really that. it's more like what i said here >>16927605

>>16927598
wow... i guess that makes sense. he does strike me as the "m'lady" type sometimes... i kind of wrote it off as just him being a generous boyfriend.

i've never dated this type of guy before, only saw it meme'd around these parts. should i be concerned?

to be honest i'm not that experienced in dating either. i've started dating at 20, and had only 2 long term boyfriends (longer than 9 months) and 2 guys i've dated for about a month each. my current would be my 3rd long term boyfriend.

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>>16927604
yeah, it's much more complicated than that - but it's the being treated like shit part that they love so much

>>16927605
> i was "the one" after i was just being a decent person, and really clung on to me. at the time, i figured you know... maybe there was something that stuck out about me and i started to believe it too.
>but now when i look back at this...

Oh, so this is actually about YOUR insecurity, then?

>1. My boyfriend is great, therefore I must be great!
>2. My boyfriend is flawed, therefore I must be flawed

Why don't you get your own fucking sense of self-esteem and stop being so deeply co-dependent

>I'm the only sane girl in online dating

yeah lol that sure seems like the case

Always startles me how many blue-pilled faggots there are on on /adv/ when we get dumbass threads like this every week that prove how shallow and retarded women are.

>>16927576
Believe it or not, some people are just bad socially. This doesn't mean they're a bad person, it just means they might come off as slightly unnatural in certain situations.

Looking for a job? Your potential employer can't discriminate because of your skin color. Oh but you're shy and awkward? Can't hold together a good interview? They will drop you for that. It's discrimination and brutally unfair.

Relationships can be kinda like that. You're hating on him for being unnatural. What if he can't help it? What if you're the only decent girl he could find? He's probably very happy to have you, and chances are he'll be unable to get another girlfriend if you drop him. You'll be potentially sentencing him to a life of solitude and loneliness.

Talk to him about your thoughts, ask him to be more honest with you about himself, while making it clear that you're not dropping him.

Source: me, 29 year old kissless virgin. Feelsbadman. I'm almost resigned to being foreveralone.

>>16927643
Ahahaha appealing to her moral sensibilities like she gives a shit.

Next thing you know she'll be riding Tyrone's cock and when she gets found out it will be his fault because "she was being forced, she had no choice but to be a huge slut."

>>16927619
>it's not really that.

I know you're not intentionally trying to be that, but you've ended up as that anyways. Go and read that shit again. The fact that it's your own insecurity leading you there doesn't make it any better (insecurity is the #1 cause of crazy bitches anyways). You think women intend to get caught up in that bullshit? No. It's an unavoidable consequence of having poor self-awareness.

>inexperienced

I can tell. You're codependent and exhibiting self-destructive behavior.

>>16927619
>i've never dated this type of guy before, only saw it meme'd around these parts. should i be concerned?
so basically he's treating you the best he can and you wonder if you should leave him for that?
Please DO! get some dumb as fuck hunk that fucks other chicks on the side and then comes home drunk and cranked up on meth to beat the shit out of you if that's what you prefer!

>>16927576
you are being cucked, girl
He's thinking about how to communicate the idea that he is going to introduce you to his daughter he had with an ex he met on dating site few years ago.

>>16927631
"red-pill" contains a massive amount of unnecessary retardation. There are some concepts in it which are useful, but the majority of it is bullshit, sorry. And red-pillers are the sorriest bunch of beta faggots I wouldn't want to be associated with them even if it was all 100% true anyways.

>>16927613
thanks, i'm not sure if i don't like the two points you mentioned. i mean after all, i got myself a boyfriend who is really sweet in the end. i like how considerate he is and it's pretty clear he thinks about me often, something my past boyfriends weren't able to be.

i guess though, the reality of it came off as a bit of a shock to me since it's kind of an unusual situation.

>>16927614
>if he's able to be "not himself" for 10 months then he should get a career in acting, seriously!
well here's another thing; currently we're kind of long distance, and due to our schedules, it's hard to meet each other on a regular basis. so we mostly text and meet up about twice a month.

he's very "mysterious" and keeps a lot of information to himself. when i do meet him in person, the "worst" thing about him is that he's boring. he'll turn on the tv or something, and start talking about the actors or a plot hole or something. if i prod about him, he'll tell me that he's tired or that he feels like he talks about himself too much. (which is hardly true) but it doesn't really seem like he wants to tell me much except on his own time.

>>16927617
>>16927620
that's hardly it. i just don't want to be like his "last meal" or anything. because, what if things don't work out between us in the end? i don't want him to give up on life or something if i'm the best he thinks he'll ever get. it kind of feels like i'm obligated to stick with him for life now, if you know what i mean...

>>16927643
>What if you're the only decent girl he could find?
>You'll be potentially sentencing him to a life of solitude and loneliness.
that's what sucks about it... feels like i'm obligated to stick with him because that's the last thing i'd want happening to him. i do love him very much, but it feels like i accidentally committed myself to a life-long relationship. which i'm starting to think it's not bad if he treats me so well, it's just i'm worried about learning he's not really himself.

>>16927670
>he's very "mysterious" and keeps a lot of information to himself. when i do meet him in person, the "worst" thing about him is that he's boring. he'll turn on the tv or something, and start talking about the actors or a plot hole or something. if i prod about him, he'll tell me that he's tired or that he feels like he talks about himself too much. (which is hardly true) but it doesn't really seem like he wants to tell me much except on his own time.
yeah hes been a loser for a long time and doesnt have any life to share

>>16927670
You arent obligated to do shit. Just go with the flow and dump him if hes bad. Dont dump him because hes too good to be true. Thats autistic

>>16927670
What do you mean "accidentally committed yourself to a lifelong relationship"? Don't people generally enter a relationship with the aim of it being lifelong unless something doesn't work out?

I couldn't imagine wanting to enter a relationship with someone knowing from the start that it is going to be temporary. I'd rather be single.

>>16927656
>I can tell. You're codependent and exhibiting self-destructive behavior.

what?

i mean yeah. i guess i'm bad at judging character. which is why i'm trying to see if he'll be more of a problem than an asset in my life? i dunno. i just know i stuck with my first boyfriend for much longer than i would've liked and i don't want to repeat my mistakes.

>>16927659
i didn't state anywhere that i'd be leaving him. i just want to know if there's anything i should be aware of for his "type". but judging by the reactions of some anons and their insights, i feel a little bit worried.

>>16927674
>>16927676
as long as he's genuine in his gestures and wouldn't intentionally hurt me, i'll keep him.

>>16927576
well you already know he's not cheating so what the hell is your problem?

you sound like a cunt looking to stir up trouble

>>16927696
>if he'll be more of a problem than an asset in my life

he sounds like an asset alright, just keep him around until he's no longer useful.

>>16927689
i just feel like i'm still getting to know him that's all.

i do aim for something life long like most girls, but i'm not sure if he's who i want to commit to for life. but like yknow, so far, he's alright in my books. just a little awkward, which is fine.

>he's very "mysterious" and keeps a lot of information to himself. when i do meet him in person, the "worst" thing about him is that he's boring. he'll turn on the tv or something, and start talking about the actors or a plot hole or something. if i prod about him, he'll tell me that he's tired or that he feels like he talks about himself too much. (which is hardly true) but it doesn't really seem like he wants to tell me much except on his own time.

ok, this (in contrast to him being "to nice") IS a real concern. If you can't get deep emotional connection with him then what you're having is "playing mommy and daddy" instead of actual love. It could very well be that you guys aren't emotionally compatible but were trying so hard to make it work based on niceness that you have to find out 10 months later. OR a good deep talk could make both of you realise what connection there is and it would work... that's up to you.
The key here is (as he says but clearly doesn't DO) COMMUNICATE. you should be talking to HIM instead of the internet! ask him how he felt about dating before you, ask him what he likes about you, tell him what he means to you, tell him how you felt about guys before you met him, tell him what you do like about him and tell him what you're worried about! damn you aren't in your first tinder chat session, it's ok to cry! in fact if either one of you ends up crying from talking about their insecurities that's at least something learnt right there!


>>16927676
much this

>>16927716
thank you, you're absolutely right. i'll try to get him to talk about himself more and introduce more about myself. kind of tricky how to bring it up, but i suppose it's necessary.