Trying out OKcupid for the first time in a while. I sent a message to a girl I liked. Just today I saw she visited my profile but didn't message me back. Should I message her again? Does persistence really pay off?
>>16925853
No. Messaging again is desperate. There are one of two things at work here - either she came to your page, decided she wasn't interested, and left, or she was in the middle of something/couldn't think of an answer and will message you later.
Messaging more than once is creepy and thirsty.
>>16925853
My guess, not interested.
Hit up another qt within your parameters.
>>16925861
Thanks anon. I think I really knew it was the right answer all the time, but I needed someone to remind me. Online dating can be so frustrating when you get denied with no clue why and no idea as to what to do better next time.
I have never had chicks msg me back on pof, zoosk, okcupid, etc. All these ppl saying they pull "so much pussy" off those sites... No idea how
>>16925853
pls respond
>>16925865
your looks basically
82% of men are "below average" that's how fucked up women's "logic" is
>>16925866
they're exaggerating
online dating only (sort of) works if you're a chad or a homosexual
>>16925865
No problem. The trick is not to assume you know what any person on the other end is really looking for, and to not take it personal. That person hasn't been able to truly get to know you, even on a surface level. You might be able to swing that in a bar, or at the library, or wherever that person or their equivalent is.
I liken it to going to the mall vs. shopping on Amazon - you might look at a decent shirt online and think it looks alright, but knowing how much it costs, the hassle of paying for shipping and handling, and not knowing how it will fit when you get it anyways is different than being at the mall, seeing it for the first time, and being able to try it on and see how it fits on you before you consider the price. Same shirt, different result.
>>16925876
I don't deny that better than average looks pay off on dating sites but you sound salty, bro. Men do the same thing with women's looks.
>>16925889
it's nowhere near the same, men are fair with women's looks (most of them are seen as average)
>>16925909
Not the same guy, but nah, you're hella bitter, super ugly, or have never started a reasonable conversation with online dating in your life. If women are too picky on there, it's because guys mostly treat it like a meat market and are super thinly veiled that they're just trying to get a piece of gash.
>>16925917
nah i've had some success but the time spent is not worth it
>If women are too picky on there, it's because guys mostly treat it like a meat market
yeah keep telling yourself that
>>16925930
I've sat on the other side of the dating site spectrum with a couple of chicks and have looked at their messages. It's a fucking flooded inbox of nothing but "hi," "hello," "what's up" "you wanna hook up" "hey u down 2 fuck."
On the off chance it's not, it's some clearly thirsty ass guy who wrote a fucking novel based off of 5 lines in the girl's profile, and when they don't get a reply after 24 hours, they immediately say "fucking cunt i hope you get raped"
Then there's a smattering of decent messages from normal people but it's a fuckin dumpster fire for chicks.
>>16925954
i'm well aware but i've never sent a message like that in my life
but i digress, it has little to do with the quality of messages, hell, it doesn't even have that much to do with looks
women in those sites are simply not there to date, they are there for the attention, or they are severely biased, or they are so boring that looking at the ceiling is a comparatively more fulfilling activity
it really is a waste of time
>>16925853
The only way i've ever had any luck is just saying something funny off the bat. Girls like self disclosure and online dating is the opposite of that, don't talk about hopes and dreams and aspirations. Just be funny, if you're not funny or good looking for meet a girl in real life.
>>16926003
im very certain though that okcupid is a very shitty dating site. There are far better dating sites out there, so why waste your time on a shitty one? And on that note, dating sites are like casinos. There is no 100% guarantee you will get your money back but if you understand the game and how the game is set up then you can understand whether or not you should visit that casino or dating site. You have to think like the owner of the casino and not the bankrupt gambling addict in order to get the right person/moneys.
>>16926003
Yeah, it is a lot easier if you can make a girl laugh. It's trouble to convey that during text. I either come off as too lame, or too offensive.
>>16926057
man you guys are absurd. Look going after the most attractive girl on the website is what most of the other men do. You would have a lot better luck in life and in your dating ventures if instead of going off and focusing on vagina, you focused on common interests and sexual preferences with an emphasis on common interests. It doesnt matter how great you think you are, its how great the woman thinks you are which tends to correlate with reality alot more than your self absorbed bullshittable opinions about yourself. I don't think you're funny, I think you're a cheesetastic fuckface!
>>16926036
>There are far better dating sites out there
Like? I've only tried okcupid but I got sick of all the special snowflakes and feminazis.
>>16925990
>but i digress, it has little to do with the quality of messages, hell, it doesn't even have that much to do with looks
>women in those sites are simply not there to date, they are there for the attention, or they are severely biased, or they are so boring that looking at the ceiling is a comparatively more fulfilling activity
This is fairly accurate.
I am in my forties and I've been watching the development of internet dating for well over twenty years.
At the beginning it worked like people think it should work. Only people really interested in hooking up or finding a date went on them and other people thought internet dating weird and bit sick. So they never went there and if you worked for a government department or a big company like a bank they'd fire your ass because it was seen as 'dirty'.
It used to be great though. Until 'everyone' joined in and it became socially mainstream 90% of mesages would get a real reply. A lot of omen were using the internet to kill time and explore this exciting new frontier - stay at home moms and women working away from home.
Because there was an element of the forbidden it was exciting and that made it easy to get into in depth exchanges and when meeting up it was common to get laid on the first date - it was kind of expected - otherwise why else would you be on an internet dating site?
The late 1990s and 2000s were great because the explosion of online porn had the attention of guys while women were exploring the dating sites, so sometimes there were more women than men.
Now I feel sorry for people trying to find dates on dating sites. It's gone beyond mainstream and is the ultimate expression of female narcsisism and male desperation.
I guess it's like finding a secret beach and when there chatting with the few other people there. Gradually more come until it's taken over by 'everyone' and the dynamic is ruined.
>>16926104
Whoah, chill out. I wasn't even calling myself funny. My post was literally about how I have trouble with that. Not every guy is a self absorbed fuckface, goddamn.
Don't message twice. There's a slim chance she'll reply in a day or two after thinking about it, but your best bet is to try other girls. The reasons for not messaging back are so arbitrary, don't take it personally.
I've been rejected too, but I can only tell you the reasons why I've rejected others. Some of these are legitimate deal breakers, but others could have resulted in a yes if I had known the person in real life.
>smoker
>looks menacing in their profile picture (aka face in darkness, not smiling or creepy smile, upshot of face)
>didn't seem to have read my profile at all (most common reason for me not responding)
>said something sexual
>out of my age range
>I don't remotely meet their preferences listed even though they messaged me
Also, a lot of profiles are abandoned and the person doesn't check the site anymore.
>>16926554
Different femon on dating sites here.
The usual reason I don't reply:
>No interests in common
>Not attractive
>Profile says he's a virgin/never been in a relationship (I wouldn't even mind if I discovered this after a while, but stating it in your profile makes it look like you have a complex about it)
>Not in the age range I selected
>Lives too far away
>My personal deal breakers (smoking, weed, etc)
I use OKCupid. If you send a good message, I'll visit your profile. If you're fit and handsome, I'll write back. If you're fat or a neckbeard beta fedora, I'll ignore you.
You're probably fat and beta, OP
it pays off if you are, how to say it
persistent with energy and a sense of humor and dont take no for an answer
if you are the type of p-please respond then dont bother
also be prepared for some harsh rejection or just getting blocked
if it bothers you, then dont try it
>>16925866
>I have never had chicks msg me back on pof, zoosk, okcupid, etc. All these ppl saying they pull "so much pussy" off those sites... No idea how
Maybe you are simply focusing on the ones that get the most attention, relatively pretty girls get their inboxes literally filled with messages so you need really stand out with your profile picture, description and message. They've probably seen hundreds of generic profiles with generic pictures and heard all the generic pick-up lines and conversation starters for the umpteenth time.
Either you deal with all the competition and attention these girls get or dip your standards a notch until you get responses.
>>16926614
>tfw not that good looking, profile not written out yet still get responses and dates due to jokes
I'm going to casually place my question here since it's somewhat related.
I'll be traveling and I want to meet local girls. Not necessarily for one night stands, I wouldn't mind getting to know them more etc
How do I not make it painfully obvious that I'll just be traveling and won't stay for more than a week in their city? Do I just lie about my work? It would be a very difficult lie to maintain, obviously, so I'd rather not go down that road
>>16926657
you are just a good looking muppet
and delusional aswell
>>16925853
I'm on the site now Anon. And I message once. Otherwise I just let them come to me. I've gotten decent amount of pussy from it. It's not extravagant. Some chicks are really fucking psycho though. Honestly, I would say just meet people outside.
I mean I've gotten laid plenty from it. Just from talking about things I like, my interests, and trying to connect. Don't ever mention sex at all. Don't even think about it. And you'll get laid easier, if you don't give a shit if they fuck you or kiss you good bye it's somehow easier. And I'm a 4/10 on a good fucking day.
>>16925853
Reminder that women on dating sites rate 80% of men as below average in looks.
You're better off just asking random chicks on the street, because if you see a woman on a dating site odds are she has like 7+ better options better than you.
>>16925889
Nah, they've done studies on it. Think about it: a dating site is the literal goldmine for a woman's entitlement to skyrocket. Lots of guys begging for her cooch no matter what, lots of options, etc.
>>16925853
Online dating is a cruel game where being a nice person gets you nowhere since it's all inevitably based on superficial online first appearances and snap judgements. I wish you luck on your endeavours.
Remember to put a lot of effort in the pictures since it's pretty much what people have to go on, and try to avoid being boring in the beginning and asking the same shit everyone else does too. Girls, especially if they seem pretty and interesting based on their profile, get so many messages opening with "hey :)" "Hi there" "hey there :)" "hi ;)" "hello" and also "you look hot" "I'd tap that ;)" etc the guys blend together into an indistinguishable mass. Try to put something interesting in your profile, something that'll make you have a personality and stand apart from the rest so that they'll remember who you are.
