I have an issue that started recently that I could use help with
>be 19-year-old male
>be fit
>be full-time general science student at community college with a part time job
not sure if I'm going into biochemistry or programming yet
>have no friends after graduating high school and going through serious breakup
>make friends with female in my microbiology class
>she's 31 and fat but really cool and not offended easily
let's call her A
>everything is great for a while, interested in the same things
>she invites me to see Deadpool with her friends who have already seen it because she knows I haven't seen it and I wanted to
>have an awesome time, some of the most fun I've had since breakup
>one of friends is really cute and my age and into the same stuff we are
let's call her B
>after me and A exchanged numbers to coordinate the movie watching, A texts me daily
>actually intelligent and interesting conversations
>begin spring break
>she texts me every day even if I let the conversation fade
>last night she invites me to see Star Wars (which she'd also already seen) because again, I wanted to see it and had no one to go with and she knew that
>wasn't sure if there would be others there this time or not
I get there late because of construction and felt like an asshole, but that's beside the point
>she's totally fine with me getting there late but I still feel bad
>turns out to be just the two of us
>notice she's wearing some makeup this time which I hadn't seen her do before
to be fair she was at work that day so it could just be from that. I can understand why she wouldn't wear it for microbiology
>movie goes normal and we have fun watching
>a bit of chatter afterward and then we go home separately
cont.
>>16923923
At this point, I'm thinking she might be into me but I don't think it's likely
>this morning wake up to a text saying she had fun last night and was wondering if I would want to get coffee sometime before break is over
>start to get scared that she's really into me
Personally, I think that at this age a twelve year age gap is too much, hell it might be too much just in general.
Also, I'm not really attracted to her but feel like an asshole because if she were closer to my age and a bit more fit then I would be all over her because she exactly my type.
I also feel bad for being into her friend B because she's a very similar person, except she's my age and skinny.
I guess my question is what I should say because I don't really want to go for coffee with her. Do I explicitly say I'm not interested, or do I wait to see if I'm just exaggerating?
>>16923923
I can't tell if I'm overreacting or not, but I'd rather not lose my some of my only friends. Any input is appreciated.
This should be used as general proof that women also have trouble getting a guy sometimes
>not even female
Anyway, OP, you could go have coffee and see how it goes. If she's again all made up and being extra smiley and such with you and you still think that she wants more than friendship, you might as well tell her about the age gap. She will most likely understand if you say she's intelligent/rational
That way there's a higher chance imo to stay friends. Stuff like this that's discussed over text is kinda meh, I dunno, always thought people that do this are too pussies (women and men alike) to face the situation
Then again, you're 19, shit like this doesn't really matter. But don't be too surprised if there'll be a little drama either way, especially if you go for B girl
>>16923923
your riskiest but potentially most rewarding play is to sit down to have coffee w/ A and somehow get to the point where she understands you don't want to stick it in her but you'd be super down to stick it in B
why might this work? because she's 31, she's old enough to have some realistic view on the world or she's old enough to feel like she needs to fake that she does. either of those can work for you.
if you can get the convo to where she understands those facts, while stressing that what you really care about and enjoy most of all is being her friend and getting to hang out with her and her people... great!
everything else you can try involves a lot more lying and manipulation.
sleeping w/ the 31 yr old is always a mistake unless you know you are the type of guy who can lay some pipe even if he's not attracted at all. not all guys are wired like that.
the LAST thing you want to have happen is you lead on A, you end up refusing to fuck her or unable to fuck her, that ends in a clusterfuck and you feel bad and A feels bad and you never even took a shot at B
>>16923938
>or do I wait to see if I'm just exaggerating?
This. You're 19, that's what 19 year olds do.
She's 31, she's (I assume) a grown ass women and knows what's what.
I'm in my late 20's and I'm realizing the older you get, the less all this round-about/over-exaggeration drama shit really means, and the more value being direct has. If she's interested, she'll probably let you know directly, and you can deal with it from there.
Whether you want to keep her as a friend, whether she's interested in you or not,
Thank you everyone, I think it would probably be best to just have coffee with her and say what's up if it comes to it.
I just sort of assumed I had nothing to worry about from the get go because of the age gap so I never really considered it.
if she's into me it looks like I'll have to write off B as a lost cause or else I'd be a dick with no friends, or at least wait a while to make a move.
I figured it was just us seeing things differently because we are at different stages of our lives.
>>16924014
>This should be used as general proof that women also have trouble getting a guy sometimes
yeah it goes both ways sometimes
>>16924068
I highly doubt I would be able to have sex with her, I'm not wired that way as you say
>>16924097
I'm glad someone older than me responded because I wanted to know what she might be thinking
