every relationship is disposable for me besides one with my mother. I feel a constant need to change,I hate the old versions of me like I categorize myself and delete everything I have done in that era,lose all my contacts with my friends from that era and act like nothing happened and eventually forget what happened.I feel like this isn't me and my final form(no seriously). this face isn't mine and this personality isn't mine. I create lots of stories and different personalities in my mind but ofc I know none of them is real. am I depressed? what is this? should I see a doctor? I don't feel bad it just happens all the time and getting boring
>>16923555
Just start having sex with your mom
>>16923567
what? I mean human relationships with your friends and family for gods sake, and I'm asexual
>>16923577
>asexual
back to tumblr you go
>>16923588
>implying asexuality is not real
>>16923591
>implying it is
>>16923599
you literally gave an advice to fuck one's own mother so I guess your opinion doesn't count
>>16923555
>i like change
>am i depressed
no. dont be dumb. im like you. its a side effect of growing up military. i went to five highschools in four years. shit was ridonculous.
im constantly just cutting everyone out of my life and starting over. new names, etc. it feels weird when i talk to my parents and someone mentions my name.
every once in a while i get in touch with an old friend who knows im gay, but im not out anymore as part of the reinvention, and it gets silly when im talking to them about this 'girl' ive been seeing and they correct me and tell me im a faguette.
i think were constantly discovering who we are. as long as you enjoy what you are doing at the time and stop it when you stop enjoying it, you are living healthily.
>>16923612
You want to go bitch? I've been waiting to tear someone apart
>>16923555
I'm the same way. I try to reinvent myself every couple of years and I leave behind most my 'friends' from that era.
What I learned is that I have 2 relationships that I truly care about... two of my closest friends that have been a constant. They don't even really give that much of a shit about me, but we are all peers. We can watch football, grill out, talk shit about niggers, call each other faggots, get drunk and rage etc. On superbowl, one came back from military and brought his tazer and we all tazed each other after eating carolina reaper peppers...
...then there is "everyone else". My brother, my mother, my family... I can't be who I really am with them. I go to their 'functions' or "hang out" with my brother who is married to this super liberal chick who doesn't ever really participate in anything we do. I go to the family dinner when I'm in town... it's all talk about my brother and his wife. My brother has always required a lot of attention and my family knows this. I can't be myself there...
I have two real friends... and then a bunch of 'friends' that stem from relationships that simply wouldn't exist if they weren't a part of the family status quo
So the result is, to most people around me I seem like this quiet, reserved, depressed loser... but the reality is they don't ever really hang with me. They don't see the real me. I stopped showing them that because they would lash out and say I'm insensitive.
The reality is, I love life. I love my two friends. I'm artistic and creative, and I know who I am. But every couple of years I gotta get out. I gotta leave so I can shed all the bullshit that surrounds me so that I can once again see the good person I really am.
>>16923628
yes this,thank you so much. only on holidays contact with my old friends and they are telling me how depressed I am and building up a wall, but I never really thought that way until they started to push this. You need to leave some people behind to do something good for yourself + if you leave them behind it's like you have never done stupid shit and it's comforting
>>16923651
kinda yeah. you dont have to deal with old stuff, at least not externally. you can still learn from your old mistakes but they dont carry over into your new life.
some people dont like change. so they see change adn tel lyou its not okay.
my parents found out im back in the closet and were rather concerned about it and all that jazz. but you gotta do whats best for you. as long as you are enjoying yourself, not much else matters.
>>16923632
Or you're a delusional cuck with low self esteem that has to invent an interesting life for himself because he's dissatisfied with the one he leads currently.
>on superbowl one came back from military and brought his tazer and we all tazed each other after eating carolina reaper peppers
This is horseshit.
>>16923632
>So the result is, to most people around me I seem like this quiet, reserved, depressed loser... but the reality is they don't ever really hang with me. They don't see the real me. I stopped showing them that because they would lash out and say I'm insensitive.
>The reality is, I love life. I love my two friends. I'm artistic and creative, and I know who I am. But every couple of years I gotta get out. I gotta leave so I can shed all the bullshit that surrounds me so that I can once again see the good person I really am.
this thank god. they always nag about how I'm awkward and push them aside. the thing is I don't want those people around anymore,they don't know anything. they always talk about them. pretending like all that stupid shit never existed is so much better but it's hard to pull with your own family
>>16923628
>>16923632
>>16923651
Nothing else to add that you guys didn't already say, but I am like this too. My longest time in one "phase" was 4 years. My shortest was 6 months.
I have a few dear friends I try to keep in touch with, otherwise I switch up acquaintances every time I move jobs/location (roughly every couple of years), and usually change car, style and hobby around the same time.
>>16923664
delusional? maybe. Cuck? I've fapped to cuck porn before, not gonna lie. Low self esteem? Nah. Dissatisfied with the life I'm living now? Of course. The day I'm "satisfied" with life is the day I'm willing to die. Total happiness and contentment isn't the means to an end... it IS the end. I enjoy the good and bad, and waking up everyday knowing I will encounter both and learn new ways to deal. That, friendo, is living.
>>16923663
I want to forgive myself but I was so stupid I can't so I learn from them but act like none of it happened. I think they don't want to see your improvement. as long as change happens to them it's fine and they LOVE sharing but they donot every person has to do that
>>16923681
same also change my looks too. I want a surgery too but that would be too overboard. I like myself I just want to get away from everybody and be the person I want to be,no regrets from past,nobody could recognise me and finally I would have a choice how to live. when you are little everything is decided you have this family, you are gonna go that school etc. just wanna get rid off it all
>>16923720
wew that sounded emo, but seriously no close relationships they are all superficial in case if I do anything wrong. I don't want to fight or break someones heart also I don't want to make most people happy. they are like npcs mostly
>>16923720
>>16923733
Surgery?... b-but you are pretty?
>>16923760
>Thinking that the girl in the picture is OP
You must be a simple person
