>>16922209

depends on who you are now.

who are you, anon?

>>16922209
cool.

i would definitely try and get some money out of it.

>>16922231

I'm in college now, but I can't remember all of the details about what happened to me. I've watched the videos and now I now a little more but there's still someone else in the them besides just my uncle and I don't know who they are. I mean, my dad had them on his computer so maybe he was involved?

Your dad kept video of you being fucking molested?! Seriously?

Cut off ties with him. If I were you, I'd keep copies and use them as leverage. Statute of limitations to report to law enforcement may have expired but you can threaten him and your uncle socially.


This makes me angry. I was molested, young before I knew what was going on. I became aware slowly. Then I became really aware but had been manipulated to think it wasn't okay to tell mom and dad. This person was (I thought) my best friend and neighbor--kid about a year older. It reached a point where not only was I uncomfortable, not understanding why we "had to" do this, but he wanted to take it up another level and I said no. He got really creepy and weird when I said no, then turned violent the next day. Let family know. Pursued it. System did nothing about it. Social progress about sexual abuse in the 90's? The hell it was. Your word against the other, stalemate.

Several years later a more aggressive kid, younger but bigger stronger and more manipulative. Gained my trust like someone to confide in because he supposedly had also been sexually abused. Me and another friend were alone with him. Horse play turned wrong, he threatened serious bodily harm on us if we didn't comply. At this point knowing full well the system wouldn't do anything, and rumors with peers would get worse than all the shit we talked about each other... And attitudes were still
1) "it doesn't happen to boys, they must have wanted or asked for it"
2) strangers with candy in the van are most likely to molest or rape children (hadn't widely discovered yet it's far more likely to be people the victim trusts)

I suppressed it, pretending it never happened.

>>16922547 cont.
Eventually it failed. Meantime it caused me to become aloof and miss out social interaction in my teen years and made friendship and dating very difficult. It's robbed me of time and experiences for growth in my life I'll never get back. All those times "You're weird." "You're different." "You're such a loner, you don't belong." Sure I came out from the shell, but now it's like something's missing. It has been missing. I can't describe the frustration.

Eventually my memories clawed their way back until I had to face it and accept it. The person I was, I had to mourn the loss. That version of me was long dead and gone. I had myself and the present. And the wounds.


I don't mean to prattle on. Brother, I'm sorry you have had to experience this in your life. The scars won't go away but give it time, and you will get better. Don't fucking put up with this. Get help, come to terms with it on your time, don't suppress it. Get away from your dad and your uncle, far away. At least now there might be assistance available for you. Don't let it rob you. Please don't shut people out like I did. You're gonna need lots of time to yourself. But know that when you're ready, go boldly. Meet people. Please. Try to develop.

You've protected yourself from the truth for long enough. You don't need to hide anymore. The danger isn't there anymore.

I read Shaolin Way by Steve DeMasco, it helped. Learn to be confident. It's a struggle but it's possible.

I'm sorry, this thread isn't about me but I felt compelled to share...Please, tell us about yourself--if you don't mind of course.

The first thing I would do is to copy these videos and keep them safe outside of my house. You can choose to talk to the police, you can choose to talk to your uncle, you can choose to let it go, but you lose all of your options if you do not immediately seize the data and keep it safe. Do not just keep it on your personal computer. If a pedophile knows that this computer is the only thing that can ruin their life forever, then this computer may very well be thrown outside the window and/or smashed to a pulp. Save the data. Keep it safe. In more than one location and not where you live, if possible. Then you can take your time to think of your next move.

>>16922547
>Statute of limitation
I don't think it applies to sex crimes on children, or at least where I live it doesn't.

>>16922617
Cloud storage and hard storage with trusted people

>>16922622
Really? This really makes me wish I had some kind of admissible records or something. But there's not.


OP, check your laws pertaining to your incident about this. You have evidence--make backups. I encourage you to use this. Pursue it, brother. Please. Don't let 'em get away with this!

>>16922617

Ok, so I've copied over the videos and have them stored away safely. What even is the protocol if I wanted to go to the police with it? "Here, I have some child pornography I'd like you to look at."???

>>16922580

How did you get better? I don't know why I'm letting it still affect me, but I feel like I'm in the same boat you were in.

>>16924016
The protocol is to show up at the police station and ask for the procedure to file a report of sexual abuse.

>>16924016
>How did you get better? I don't know why I'm letting it still affect me, but I feel like I'm in the same boat you were in.

Took a long time. I spent long times just walking in the woods, listening to music.

However... it took a sort of visualization exercise by the time I was in my early twenties.


Not sure if this would work for you. Here goes. I had to realize who I was before the incidents isn't who I was at that present moment. That "me" of the past was dead and gone. I had to visualize that. And mourn. Much similar to how it is taught to people severely affected by loss of limb, or by war, or traumas including sexual and domestic abuse.

What has happened to you is not your fault. The pain will fade in time, but you will always have scars from it. It is forever a part of you now.

I had to accept and forgive myself for what happened. Although I consented to some form of it, that was because I was a child who didn't know any better. I had no way of knowing these "friends" would lie to me, manipulate me, turn on me.

Come to terms with it. Do it sooner rather than later. I wish to god that I did, not only because of lost time in life, but I did several things I'm not particularly proud of. Things I can never take back. I did them because I was "cracking up around the edges" keeping on trying to suppress the past and run from it. You can't outrun yourself. Don't try it, you'll inevitably lose.

The world has its cruelty, but it isn't as awful as I used to think it to be.

Have your moments, let it out. Let it all out. Then keep going from there. The days will get better. You won't wake up with that ominous looming dread you have deadened yourself to anymore. You know what that dread is. You have to face it. You don't necessarily have to be alone when you do, but you can if you believe you're strong enough to face it. I did.

You may even come to the point where I am and try to help another.

>>16924159 cont.

The you of the past is waiting. Your past is waiting for you. Your strength you now have.

There is no danger anymore. It will hurt, but remain strong. You've survived this far, now turn the tide and don't let it have control over you anymore.

Surviving is winning. Beat this.

And in the future remember that you overcame this obstacle. You would be able to look back to this victory as a source of strength for trying times in your future.

Do this in whatever way works for you, beat it. I believe in you.

>>16922547
So inspiring that you are helping another.

I would also involve a friend, school counselor, someone you trust outside the family because once you open this in the legal and "public" sphere you have no idea how your family will react. Maybe they´ll band behind you to protect you or maybe, depending on their cultural background, they might see this as a huge affront. As crazy as this sounds but some people would rather you keep all this stuff secret not to shame the family. If they do tun on you it´s always good to have other support outside the house there for you to follow you through this hard phase and make sure you don´t spiral into depression. Good luck.

>>16924271
If I can offer any help to another who has experienced similar, especially in ways that weren't there for me, then I am glad to do so. This place /adv/ seems to be one place, with someone of my habits, which I can contribute to others' well being.

I'm glad for the anonymous nature of this place. Who I am is of little consequence--my message is what I hope people get.

>>16924285
To add to this, some seem incapable of understanding why something like this would keep bothering anyone. "That happened such a long time ago" is the usual thing they say.

It isn't that we're looking to just vent and complain (well, speaking for myself anyways), because obviously it's a scar that never goes away. It's that we understand the depth of the general problem and how deeply it cuts. You're never the same once something like this has happened to you.

>>16922209
blackmail
and when you have all you can get out of them, report them to the police along with the evidence

How do you know it was you?

>>16922209

fap honestly.

>>16924016

you say
>i was raped as a child
>i have proof
>i remembered bits and pieces but thought i was crazy
>found the files on my dads computer
>what are my options?

Copying the files was a mistake, OP. It technically makes you guilty of distribution of child pornography. Yes, this is fucked up.

The protocol is to call the police and tell them you found child pornography on a computer in your home. Let them take it away and do whatever copying and evidence processing and other crap they need to. The big trick is doing this without giving anyone sufficient warning and time to delete it.

>show the police
>go to therapy

>>16925269
Find me a police department that will charge OP for copying child porn of her/himself and then bringing it to them as proof of his/her molestation and I'll find you some oceanfront property in Indiana.

>>16925269
no its not mate. bringing evidence with you is not distributing.

>>16925359
Doesn't matter. They have to decide to charge OP with a crime first (it's not like you commit a crime and bam you're charged). Literally no police department is going to charge OP of a child porn related crime for giving them evidence of his/her own child porn.

I would get legal advice form a lawyer specialized in this part of the law. Anything helps, but paid preferably because you own the session and the lawyer is working for you in giving you advice with his time which you paid for.


Best of luck.

>>16925226
I have a pretty identifiable birth mark. It's definitely me in the videos

>>16925269
That's kind of what I'm freaked out about. Could I actually get in trouble for having child pornography of myself? I know the law can be pretty damn ridiculous sometimes and I wouldn't really put that past it

>>16926312
>That's kind of what I'm freaked out about. Could I actually get in trouble for having child pornography of myself? I know the law can be pretty damn ridiculous sometimes and I wouldn't really put that past it

Time to get real and skip over the bullshit. There's some sound advice given by good people but others are spouting nonsense.

About child porn possession. It is an offence to possess child porn. So just having it is an offence BUT there is no way you would get prosecuted for possession if you're going to the police to report a crime of sexual abuse involving yourself, or reporting abuse of others (providing you're not part of creating or distributing it).

There is no statute of limitations covering child abuse.

Go to the police anon. Give them a thumb drive copy of the material and explain how you got it and why you think you're in it. Be guided by them and accept all offers of help.

>>16922209
I'd hand those vids to police and get your uncle some free accommodation at your local jail, it's the least you can do.