Will be on this thread every night from 11PM - 7AM.
I will get you an answer so do not be afraid of asking anything. Others will help as well. I'm sure of it.
>>16922002
Why do you think you're uniquely qualified to give advice?
>>16922002
why do females lives revolve around gossip and revenge ?
>>16922014
Never said I was. But I do like helping. It's not unique either. People go through different experiences every day. Those experiences bring good ideas to how to solve many problems. Giving that idea to solve the problem is called advice. So I am not unique and I am not qualified. It's just generosity and the empathy to help those in their certain situation.
>>16922023
Women are irrational.
If they read that statement they would try to prove it wrong.
They can't but they will also try.
But revenge comes from them knowing they are not strong enough to win the fight when it comes up. So whenever they accept their defeat they take their time to figure some way to win against them for the last laugh, which gives them some type of pleasure.
>>16922002
I'm gonna lose my job next month,
Do u know any online jobs & websites that really pay? i only need a job with $6/hr salary.
How do I follow the advice I receive in this board? Sometimes I'll make a thread, receive some good responses, but then never actually implement any of them into my life.
A lot of these things just seem so troublesome and icky that I put them off indefinitely. I seriously can't find the time to sit down and plan out anything. How do I start changing my life?
I'm in love see it a girl who has a boyfriend. Do I wait it I out in the friendzone or move on?
>>16922146
do or do not, there is no try.
>>16922145
get a cleaning jawb
I've started talking to a girl but I'm completely oblivious to whether or not she's interested in a relationship. We've hung out a couple times outside of school, but how to I know when and if I should ask her out?
I've decided to try and save money by cutting back on the number of steam games that I buy to the tune of about $100 a month. Unfortunately, this has the side effect of leaving me with nothing to do for days on end. What kind of hobbies can you suggest?
>>16922170
She has a boyfriend. First of all I think you are scum trying to date someone who has a boyfriend. Second, here's how. Talk to her and become her best friend.Sounds kind of impossible but its not, you can do it. She will tell you everything she complains about her boyfriend or the opposite. If she tells you all the good things she has in her relationship then you might as well move on. So you wait for them two to have a big fight. One where they want to just not talk to each other for one day. On that day you take her out and show her how be- I mean alpha you are as a man and show her how much better you can take care of her. If you can't take her out and spend a one on one day with her then you're screwed and you should move on. After you have done so, never let go. Show her how much better you are than her boyfriend and eventually the bf will get tired of her bs and leave her or she will leave him for you. other than that, move on if you cannot progress.
>>16922229
Lifting. Read Bigger, Leaner, Stronger by Michael Mathews and Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe. Buy yourself a fat caliper, I suggest accu-measure 3000, and a body tape measure.
Things you will learn from doing this:
How to establish and follow an effective diet
How to train your body to become more efficient at bearing loads through progressive overloading
How to track the progress of your lifting and evaluate whether it is effective in your eyes
How to meet specific micro and macro nutritional goals
A heightened kinesthetic sense
An appreciation for a healthier lifestyle
Furthermore, this will likely become a productive hobby that will help to change your whole life should you decide to follow my advice. But I'm not OP, so I guess it's up to you whether you actually care about your life and body enough to do so.
>>16922223
Start by slowly doing things only people in relationships would do. Like sharing something together or going to the movies on your own with her. Show her dominance and how it feels like to be with you and that it is something she never regrets. The more hanging out the better. BUT if she begins to tell you about who she likes and the kinds of guys she is into, then move on because you would be in the friend zone.
>>16922250
I neither own weights nor have a gym membership. My diet is also shit. Are those books a good place to start for a guy who wouldn't know how to use any machines? Are they easily downloaded?
>>16922229
Weed bro.
>>16922229
Sounds like you love to spend most of your time on the computer or staying at home. Learn how to use the stock market and begin investing with the little money you have. You won't lose anything really.
>>16922170
>>16922237
Note: in this scenario, you are marketing yourself as an upgrade to her current boyfriend and if she should decide to move on from him to you in a new relationship there is nothing saying she won't find, in her eyes, an even better man to start a newer, better relationship with.
This doesn't necessarily mean that's what's going to happen or that you should even be concerned if this scenario plays out, it's just something to keep in mind.
>>16922229
Dota 2
>>16922262
Weed is legal where I live but I don't have any desire to smoke.
>>16922267
Boom, you have me nailed down.
Stocks is something I've always wanted to do. I've got a ton of money but I'm saving to throw down on a house. I wouldn't bother with day trading and instead would just invest into index funds and wait out the years. This would still leave me with a ton of free time.
>>16922270
I'm a 3k MMR scrub and generally play two games a week already.
That's nice, I came here to ask how to solve all of my problems. This was the first thread.
I have a serious procrastination problem/computer addiction. I need to lose about 20 pounds, get a job, apply to school, and eventually become an MD. I also have some personality issues and internal wounds from childhood that I want to mend.
The thought of web filters makes me very anxious- the last time I installed one I had a full panic attack because I couldn't turn it off.
I've been trying every day for two years to do this. Seems like I get sucked into a little world or something... It's hard to stay on task. I get overwhelmed easily. I did end up quitting cigarettes and got sober, but since then I haven't been able to accomplish much. About 2 years ago I was severely depressed and almost catatonic- would have periods where I couldn't move, couldn't decide anything or speak. I was late for work almost every day. While I'm much better, but it's a very slow process and I want to find a way to dissect everything I need to do and actively work on it for the majority of each day.
>>16922280
Just get off the internet desu
>>16922259
That is the one thing I thought about but anytime fitness or similar is relatively cheap. Read the books before you get a membership, its more important you know what you're doing before you start doing it.
Yes, they are the first two I started with and to this day I think the most important, however a cookbook like Shredded Chef is also extremely handy. They should be easy to find and torrent somewhere as both are very popular.
As far as machines, you'll almost entirely use free weights, Starting Strength teaches you the proper form, technique, and program. Bigger, Leaner, Stronger focuses a lot more on the external factors that will affect your body's progress and workout sessions, diet and sleep being two examples. I feel it is a lot easier to digest but nonetheless important information provided in BLS as well, whereas SS provides both basics to build a foundation of knowledge on as well as incredibly technical and specific information.
How do I deal with the urge to commit suicide every time I feel like I'm overwhelmed by responsibilities and life in general?
It's not really a "oh, my life is shit, I no longer feel happiness, only pain" kind of suicidal thought but rather a "oh, I have to do all this shit, I can't, I will fuck up" one.
>>16922284
Is there anything you find special in your life? An item? A person? Anything?
>>16922290
When faced with what you believe to be an overwhelming task, take a minute to do some deep breathing and break it down into smaller, simpler tasks. Focus on how you're going to make it possible to accomplish, not how large or challenging it is.
>>16922289
Thanks, I'm going to take your advice and acquire the books. I'm trusting you on this one, so I hope this isn't some scheme to get me to waste money on self help books.
>>16922287
Bro my problem is I have too much free time. If I quit the internet then I'd literally die of boredom.
>>16922290
You're not going to kill yourself over simple stress. Think of it as a minor hurdle. And every time you jump it and succeed through, you get stronger.
Life has a lot of responsibilities and it sucks when it all decides to crack down on you the one day everything is seeming to fall apart but just think about what will happen after. Think that, whenever I'm done with this bullshit I'm gonna fucking enjoy going outside and just seeing how other people are handling their days. You'll see yourself surpass these imbeciles because you didn't take your own life away.
>>16922284
>>16922146
Look at the photo I posted here:
>>16922294
Its taken me months and though I'm still not following this template properly, I have already seen how beneficial it is. I believe you too could use it.
What's the best way to tell one of my good female friends I fell in love with her?
>>16922002
How can we make America homogenous again?
>>16922292
Yeah, I'm not totally depressed. I enjoy at least one thing every day. I like my cat, I like the feeling I get when I get something accomplished. I like learning. Tea is great.
>>16922294
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS PHOTO FOR SIX MONTHS THANK YOU BASED ANON
There's this girl who doesn't know I exist. I very rarely see her walking around, and when I do, she's with friends. I'm in high school by the way. I can't find her Twitter or IG handle, but I haven't really tried hard to find it. We don't know each other I just think she's really pretty and want to talk to her. I'm 0 for 8 in my high school career in situations similar to this, but this is probably the hardest one. What should I do, if I should even do anything?
>>16922303
Just confront her about it? If you say she's as good as you think then she will understand.
>>16922306
Lol
>>16922002
I asked already a question and got only one answer. It was a longer text and I don't feel comfortable to post it again. Are there other ways to contact you? Email?
>>16922316
So just go tell her hey I've somehow fallen in love with you?
That's the way I originally wanted to do it but I'm a bit autistic so I thought better be safe and ask lol
>>16922296
No, BLS has a chapter or two that feels a little self-helpy but I appreciated it because it focused mostly on willpower and research based on it. BLS cites like 200+ studies and papers as source for the information and SS is known amongst every bodybuilding circle for being the place the start when you start lifting, even /fit/ recommends it. I'd also suggest getting the measuring tape and fat caliper, you'll need the caliper to figure out your body fat % so you can determine your basal metabolic rate and other formulas you use to determine your daily caloric needs and whatnot. The measuring tape to measure progress because its incredibly important so that you can both see the fruits of your labor on paper and so that you can determine if there are any errors in your procedures or training that may need to be addressed.
>>16922320
Not the guy with the initial question
But what is a good way to let a person or/and a good friend know, that I like her and have feelings for her? I mean, I know it is bad to just tell "I fell in love with you". Then the situation is somehow difficult for the other person and might feel pressure. But if I say something along the line "I like you, I like [insert some things you like about her] and I like to spend more time with you. What do you think and/or feel?" might be better, but I don't know if it's actually somehow a good way to describe feelings for another person.
I have a huge problem getting to sleep. Even when I'm exhausted, I avoid it. Probably because I cry a lot when I'm alone with my feels.
>>16922315
Not give up. Have you seen the peanuts movie? Go watch that.
>>16922330
I'm the guy with the initial question.
I don't know what situation you are in, but I like honesty and directness and it would feel time-wasting and kind of weak to beat around the bush like that.
That said, I'm
1.talking about a friend I've known for like 1 and a half years so I'm quite open with her
anyway,
2 . slightly autistic and
3 . German which makes me even more autistic
So it might just be me
>>16922333
Or because you spend the last hour before bed staring at a screen. Read a book, listen to music, do something that doesn't involve a screen an hour before you go to bed.
Also make certain you are adhering to a sleep schedule fitted to your needs that begins and ends at the same time daily. For example, John needs 8 hours of sleep every night, he starts work at 8 AM and it takes him two hours to get ready for work, so he will be waking up at 6AM. For John to get the full 8 hours, he'll need to be asleep by 10PM, meaning he will be reading from 8:30 to 9:30 and then going straight to bed. He will also adhere to this schedule on weekends as closely as he can. Finally, he also exercises daily which walks hand in hand with good sleep.
>>16922320
>>16922330
I think the best way to aproach a girl like that is to start out small. Give a hint when she does something that sparks your mind. Like if she does that one thing that makes you like her, laugh and then tell her that you really like the way she does that thing. Or make a general statement about how you like girls with that certain type of personality or trait. Make her hear that. If you do that often, she'll start to think that you're into her.
Think about it. You say stuff about liking a girl who does this and that. Your friend will think first, "is that me"? And if you keep going and point her out, what's the chances she knows you think about her? When she figures this out, she will most likely ask. That is your opportunity. You made her bring up the question herself and now you've opened up a great opportunity and you take everything you feel about her, and lay it on her.
It's easier than letting her know straight up. But that's always an option. Go easy or go commando.
>>16922359
its in my planner for tomorrow. ill be exhausted so it should be easy
>>16922023
Because of fuckboy faggots like you.
I need a hobby that I can do that's both free and can be done all indoors/with a computer. I'm already learning a language and I listen to music. I'm interested in whatever, though I've already heard the most popular ideas so something unique would be nice.
>>16922386
Programming
>>16922391
I hate programming, it's just not enjoyable at all for me. Anything else?
>>16922391
Learn how to make beats with FLstudio.
>>16922386
Making music? It's a type of hobby. You don't need "talent" cause you can just put together computer automated sounds together. You can learn more about notes and measures and how they tie together to make good beats. Do it man. I'll listen.
>>16922386
Study a subject. Chemistry, maths, bio, anything you want. Learn a lot about something. You could learn mechanics or DIY stuff, robotics.
>>16922397
It's interesting, but I don't have any equipment or money. I guess I could pirate FL Studio, but I have no clue about electronic music, and apparently there are so many people making releasing shit on soundcloud that pretty much everything is forgotten.
Drawing could be fun though.
>>16922294
This seems like a lot of work. Why would it be considered bad to just kill myself so I don't waste anymore resources if I know I won't hold up those obligations.
How do i deal with my anger problems in a healthy way? i'm not usually an angry person, but when i do get angry, which is usually to do with family issues, i fucking explode, and it usually ends with holes in drywall and gigantic shouting matches between me and various members of my family. i'm only asking this now because every now and then i'll be walking home or something and just be fucking pissed, and want to get in a fight, which isnt like me
I'm exhausted, and It's 5am here. I woke up at 2pm after not sleeping enough.
My goal is to go to bed at 9pm every night and wake at 6am. Should I just stay up until like 6pm and then sleep for a long time? Or sleep from now til 9am and then go about my day?
>>16922403
Meditation is a good start. Get a therapist also.
>>16922408
Meditation is a must, it don't hurt if you try
See you thinking too much, plus you too full of yourself
Worried about your career, you ever think of your health?
>>16922405
bump i guess
>>16922405
Sleep whenever you need to
>>16922383
sandy vagina detected
>>16922294
thanks based anon
>>16922405
Look at:
>>16922359
And read this article:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/cant-sleep-insomnia-treatment.htm
Do not simply "sleep whenever you need to", this is an unproductive habit that will not benefit you.
>>16922442
Fucking a sandy vagina would be pretty dope desu.
How do I find my dream girl or close to my dream girl. I hate every girl in my school and I can't stand what comes out of their mouths. Also how would I approach said girl and start a conversation?
>>16922401
Because you are wasting both your potential and the extreme privilege you've been handed by being born into the first world. There are kids in Africa who have to walk 10 fucking miles every morning just get a drink of water and you're considering killing yourself over what is most likely a combination of lack of confidence in daily life and a lack of preparedness for living alone in the first world.
Furthermore, there is someone in this world who cares about you, whether it be a mother, father, brother, aunt, teacher, friend, or someone else or a combination. By killing yourself you are showing not only your selfish desire to remove yourself from their life, you are guaranteeing that someone who does care about you will suffer for the duration of their life because they will forever blame themselves for your selfish decision to kill yourself because they were unable to pick up on the fact you were unsatisfied with life.
Should I wait to start dating until I'm not an obese fuck?
6'1 255 atm, fat as fuck, used to be fatter, still losing weight. Women don't seem to be interested in me at all beyond friendly talk. I can't think of anything other than being fat because I'm not a social retard, I'm witty and can usually pull a few laughs out of most people, I can hold a conversation even on topics I could give less than two shits about, and I'm not the kind of guy who agrees with everything a chick says because I want her to like me either, I'm not afraid to challenge their opinions or to make a joke out of it.
It doesn't get me very far. As soon as I try to make a move or ask a chick out I get rejected (usually very nicely, but still frustrating). I look at some of my friends (really just two of them) who are complete social albatrosses. They're quiet, awkward, (one of them loves to fucking apologize for everything) lack confidence socially and never really inject themselves into any social situation, and yet both of them have gfs and never want for relationships, causal or serious. The only thing they have going for them is their looks and it's driving me crazy. I feel like the only reason I'm not having success is because I'm still fat and gross to most women.
Should I just wait until I'm done with my weight loss? I have a decent face and I'm athletic, so my body will look ok (atleast with clothes on) when I lose the weight. I should be done by the end of the year, I can wait that long before trying again.
>>16922482
No, don't wait, and don't settle for anything less than what you want. Just continue doing what you're doing now and allow the rejection to fuel your confidence and your drive to lose weight.
Now, what are you doing to lose weight?
should i attempt to make some music that im really bad at or try out tera?
also should i stay up to fix my sleep schedule or just say fuck it
>>16922492
Simple, eating less. I track every calorie I eat and play basketball/run three times a week. I eat at a 1000 calorie deficit daily, which leads to about 2 pounds a week of weight loss, I kickstarted my weight loss by using Keto for the first 6 months and just using the dietary knowledge from that (mostly keeping sugar and carb intake low, and just generally knowing wtf is an appropriate amount of food each day) to transition to a more regular diet. It's been slow the past few months, the holidays slowed me down and I've been smoking crazy amounts of weed (and I cannot control food intake after smoking) since graduating college so progress has been slow (but not stopped, or going in the opposite direction thank god) but it's still progress.
>>16922002
I'm 25 and I want to go back to school for a change in career. I've been in law for a bit as a clerk but the legal process seems like a morass of bureaucracy, paperwork, and technicality rather than an intellectually stimulating and enjoyable pursuit to bring justice.
I need help figuring out what to do though because I'm deathly afraid of picking the wrong thing and wasting more of what few good years I have left. I'd like to do something that helps people, preferably in a practical way. I'd also like something where I can see the progress I make in my job rather than it seeming like an endless task where my contribution goes unnoticed. I don't want to be a pencil pusher or someone who does mindless paperwork all day.
My vague topics of interest include science, history, and philosophy. Please instruct me on a possible career path, or help me to find something that can guide me with the information I have to find what I want. Thank you!
Broke up with girlfriend of almost a year. We broke up almost two week ago over Skype because she is now in Taiwan. Issue i think, was that we had too much small differences. Still love her very much. Sometimes i am angry for her not trying some more, sometimes i feel very sad, sometimes i feel relieved.
What can i do to 'manage' my feelings?
Sometimes i also feel like texting her and just ask if she is okay but ofcourse i know she is. Her birthday is next week, ill be texting her then.
But just sometime i have the feeling that we could have been so much more. I also already booked my ticket to Taiwan and its not refundable. Not sure what to do with it yet. I just keep myself occupied with work, thesis, friends and exercising.
Just want to vent i guess but any advice is welcome.
>>16922476
You're still in school. You haven't graduated yet and you need know that once you've finally settled in your own place and have your own career, then you can ask how you can find your dream girl. You're gonna encounter her one day anon. Just not while you're in school.
>>16922514
Follow what you want to do in life. If it's music you want to make, be sure to listen to the constructive criticism that will swallow you up as you proceed to create and innovate. Yes fix your damn sleep schedule.
>>16922579
Is she really everything you want in a girl?
>>16922607
Well, how do I go about fixing it, my options are : stay up for the rest of this day (its 4AM here), sleep at a reasonable time, wake at a reasonable time or fall asleep at later times every day untill I fall asleep at a decent time (this one takes a few days to do though), and the last one, sleep now and try and wake up early and make it through the day (might be the worst since i probably won't wake up early)
>>16922543
Change your career man. You gotta do what will make you happy. You're not losing years at all, you are just gaining some more memories with the school you are going to. Crazy shit happens at college and you'll be in there, not only to complete the courses needed for your desired degree but, to live up and experience anything or everything.
I've heard that psychiatry is a good major upon those subjects. These are "doctors" in some sort of way. They diagnose people with whatever is wrong with them in their minds due to their past experiences or what has happened recently as well. but it sounds cool to be a professor in one of those categories. You're looking for something real and what happens nearly every day to every day people. Kind of what I want to do. So go for it man. Talk to the advisor at that school and see what they would say or suggest to you.
>>16922613
Not everything, but a lot of things, yes. She is cute, kind, listens to my shit when I want too, can talk about a lot of stuff, likes the same music and generally we have the same interests, like travelling. Very ambitious.
Difficulties in her for me were the facts that, when things were down, she saw a lot of things as negatively. When she was emotional, she expected me to be rational while I am also a very emotional person. Sometimes she felt like I was irritating by not listening to her about small things or remembering things (she has a point here, sometimes I forgot) but sometimes I was like 'Why even bother?' She goes into discussions sometimes to the point where she really needs to be right. Or, when I got back from my Exchange semester in Singapore, I didn't really know what I wanted to do and kind of came into a small depression and she felt that that was hard to handle because she often knows very well what she wants.
Idk, I guess it's just that I miss her even more now that I know we're just nothing. And two weeks ago, we were still discussing travel plans for when I was coming to visit her. It's all so sudden.
>>16922618
Go to bed anon. Rest up. Then fall back asleep at a good time. Don't wanna sound like your mum but sleep before 11:30 and you'll be okay. You'll wake up around 7 seeing that nice ass sunrise and eat some good healthy breakfast. You'll be ready for the day and overcome a lot taking in that much sleep.
>inb4 sleeping exactly at 11:30
>>16922630
Thats the problem though, if I sleep now and try to sleep later before 11:30 I just won't end up falling asleep, thats my dilemma here
pick up to 6 things
give them numbers between 1-6
i'll roll a dice and do what it lands on
please don't make me embarrass myself or die
>>16922628
Is it infatuation or a real feeling you have developed about her?
Sounds like you're trying your best to confront her in person and hoping something will get better. I like the idea about how you really put yourself out for her and how you know the pros and cons about each other. Do you think she gives that much effort between the both of you as much as you have?
>>16922633
Don't sleep until the evening. That'll be closer to bed time for most people. Try your best to stay up as long as possible until the evening. Then you can work from there.
>>16922665
that seems reasonable, thanks friend
>>16922524
Personally I do not believe in keto dieting, there are multiple studies disproving it and some yet proving that a high protein, high carb diet is still effective for weight loss with proper exercise. What is important is that you're getting enough protein. Something like .8g protein .6g carbs and .3g of fat per pound of bodyweight, however without knowing your BMR and some other numbers I can't get real specific.
Low intensity cardio is good, definitely stick with it, but to really burn off fat you should be working on getting into high intensity interval training, doing some research on it in conjunction with a heart rate monitor or checking your own pulse so that you can determine exactly how hard you can push yourself, 2-3 times a week will dramatically increase your weight loss.
Additionally, if you haven't yet considered weight training it is another viable option for weight loss. I would suggest Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe and Bigger, Leaner, Stronger by Michael Matthews.
>>16922647
1-become an MTG player and invest about 3 months worth of time into this game
2-Play online at least for 4 hours a day. Doesn't matter how late it is.
3-make home made lean. Post results of your trip on this thread
4-sleep with one random woman you have never met and build a stable relationship with her
5- become the host of this thread
6- you have to be polite no matter who it is, but to every person you meet anywhere. Take in mind that if you fail to do this you must come back and ask for another 6 options.
Will this work?
>>16922667
Take it easy anon.
>>16922659
True feelings. I spent 1,5 years dating with this girl, including the time I spent in Singapore and with her here in the Netherlands. I then even flew to Shanghai for her to surprise her there, best things I probably ever did for a girl in my life. Was totally ears over her for her.
ofcourse we're both not perfect, there's always two to tango. Not sure if it's such a good idea of meeting with her in Taipei (my ticket is not refundable, so I'll have to go anyway, not throwing away the money). I have the feeling she could have done more these couple of months, but then again, our relationship wasn't perfect when she was leaving and the distance doesn't help.
>>16922602
What can I do to find a girlfriend then?
>>16922680
You know, I don't blame you. I know how you feel.The efforts given were not recognized. Like the good things you did for her were really the greatest i've heard about. You were an amazing guy. But I feel like you're making her sound as if she doesn't deserve you man. You do know that it's up to you if you should keep going after her or not. I would say nah. I've been in a 3 year relationship and that bitch turned to be a slut but you follow what you wanna do man.
>>16922683
really. All you gotta do is lower your standards. You've got that mind of finding the "dream girl" and that's what you're looking for in the girls you find. You gotta be shallow and let your guard and standards down. I believe once you do you'll be able to find a girlfriend easily. She doesn't have to be perfect anon. Just pretty.
>>16922683
> not the anon you wrote to at first.
Get to know girls, the more the better.
Pick those girls you like and get to know them better than the rest, but keep contact to all girls.
Pick again a few out and "show" what you like about them. For example if they do habit X and you like it, then tell her you like the way she is doing X. Do this not only once, but for more things you like about her and don't overdo it. She might sometime ask herself, if you like her.
Then you have to ask her for a date. Tell her what you think and feel about her. Listen to her.
>>16922700
I do remember the bad times that we had and that helps to alleviate my feelings a bit, but somehow I still feel like we could have done more with this. And apparently it didn't work, so that is something that I'll have to live with. She's not a bitch, but just tough to handle and apparently not for me. Y'know, our good times were really, really good and our bad times just sucked, too. It's just that I remember the good times better.
I guess it's just wishful thinking for us to come together and be good again after all the shit that happened. I want to stay single for the coming months and spend a lot of time on myself, travel, finish my master thesis and finish off my side jobs in a good manner before I want to go and travel somewhere for a couple of months. I also called in the help of a coach at my university, so in a few weeks I could have someone who's watchiing my back a bit more.
I do plan on congratulating her on her birthday and just to ask how she is. And probably we'll have a talk or a Skype somewhere in the future, but I just want full focus on myself the coming months.
>>16922720
That's right anon. You gotta focus on your well being and not be stuck like some of us. I promise that it'll go by pretty fast. You'll be feeling independent and strong willed by your adventures that you won't ever regret her leaving. Like everything else its just an obstacle in life.
>>16922683
i'll give you a few screenshots that may or may not be what you're looking for.
>>16922683
>>16922683
dd
>>16922002
Hey OP, no problems or issues here on my end, but I would like to extend my gratitude to individuals like yourself that take the time out to listen and provide some advice and comfort to the disheartened anons here. I was once in a tough spot myself, and having a ear to listen to my woes went a long way in providing comfort and a resolution in my life. Cheers, OP. Keep up the solid work.
OP here. Was nice helping the most I can. To be honest some of the advice given to others by other people who joined in on this thread. Pretty cool that there are other people out there willing to give their time to help someone in need of advice.
It was a nice 8 hour shift but I'm done for today. I'll be back at 11 PM tonight so either look out for the thread or for the SAME PICTURE. I'm using the same picture lol.
SEE YOU FELLOW ANONS TONIGHT...or new ones. Not saying that you should come back with the same problem you know? Take it easy space cowboys. OP out.
Allright, i need advice.
THere's a chick, she's into me, im into her, we fucked a couple of times, she was giving hints about possible relationship.
>She really overanalyzes things and shes really emotional.
>analyzes
>anal
>lol
>Im the rational, boots on ground type.
I told her "dont overthink, go with the flow, lets see where it takes us"
>all be cool.
I went on a business trip, we messaged and shit, but over the course of 3 days she turned from this warm, cutesy little chick into cold and distant.
>she, being 22, starts her own company, i totally understand that it takes shitload of effort and energy, im in similar position.
For a short period of time we talked only business (I'm helping her with that, because honestly, emotions and feelings apart, I really want her to succeed) but after 2-3 weeks she just stopped replying (I've started conversation two or three times) so i've stopped calling/talking to her.
We're in kind of a limbo now, we see each other about once a month (because of business stuff). We talk, we laugh, we joke and shit, but...well, thats already longer than it's supposed to be.
TLDR:
>Chick's into me
>I'm into her
>We fuck
>We fuck
>We fuck
>Relationship hints from her
>"Let's try it, why not"
>I go on a business trip
>During the trip she becomes cold and distant.
>WAT DO.
>>16922804
A few more details and what i think is habbenings:
>She got over her ex like a month before i appeared.
>I appeared.
>pokemon joke
>She fallen for me possibly.
>But because of what happened between her and her ex she's afraid of commitment, so she became cold and distant.
>Wat do again.
I have a 1500 word essay due tomorrow, is it possible :DDDD
I'm actually serious about this
>>16922809
She may be cold and distant toward you because of that fear, but in my experience, if you are worth it, the fear comes secondary to the possible relationship.
Take my ducking scenario for example:
>known girl for 8 years
>love her terribly
>found out recently she's sleeping with 2 guys on off
>despite doing this still seeks affection from both of them despite the fear of entering into a serious relationship
>tells me she is glad we have a non-sexual relationship because we get to retain our close friendship
So you see, the sex plays a huge part in their affection for someone and when they move away from the sex they begin to question the legitimacy of the relationship. If you care about her, show her in affectionate and intimate ways (besides sex) that you care about her. She'll begin to see it.
>>16923137
thanks for that, but I'm pretty sure (the story is like 2% of whats really going on, but you know what i mean) the more i push the colder she gets. Now its basically a waiting game, and either she takes a step or its over desu.
>>16922450
says the person who has never had the sex ever, step it up senpai.
>>16922002
What are some steps I can take to try and make someone interested in being my friend? I've really been trying to make some close friends lately as the people I'm close with now are not around as often.
I'm dating a girl who is a single mother of two, a light smoker, and who was previously a hooker. Thing is, the negatives are counterbalanced by the positives. She is very family-oriented, honestly I think a good girl who was put in a shitty situation, and made some iffy choices along the way. She had a fiance and her life was fine, but her ex lost his pretty well-paying job one day and just decided to play video games all day and ignore her, and she was forced to prostitute herself. When he saw how much money she made, he refused to find work and made her pay for everything, and she didn't get out of the business because it was either rip her family apart or keep it together. She wanted a family, so she tortured herself to fight for it. Eventually it came to an end.
Now we are dating and I know about all of this. She is older than I am by about five years, but she is very sweet and kind to me but sometimes she acts as if she is smarter than me because she's older. She routinely argues with me about stuff, and she can be kinda moody but there is good reason.
I don't know if I want to stay with her. I want to move to a different place and have a better career,a nd I don't know if she can manage that.
>>16922804
>>16922809
What's preventing you from dating her if you both are interested into each other? Yeah girls are obviously emotional but you're there to tell her to shut up and be rational. Sounds like she's a smart girl and you're smart as well, but when the emotions get the best of her you can take care of her unless you're gone.
Just talk to her about being in a relationship man. Get her to spill out how she feels about everything in general to how she feels about you and dating you. Long conversations man. It'll calm her down.
>>16923108
Just got back on but yes it is possible. Typing is so much faster than writing. As well as how many words you can fit into each sentence without the sentence sounding like it was just garbage put together.
Just brainstorm everything you want in your essay and put points under those headings. Then some more detailed explinations under those points. After you've made a very deep and complex outline, just make sentences out of every point you have. That'll get you your 1500 words.
>>16925729
I read the first sentence, and that was all i needed to know. She is a train wreck, and unless you are homeless man with physicial deformities you can do so much better and there is no reason to sell yourself. Short.
"Family orientated" means she wants to sit on her ass while some guy pays for her to exist because her pussy has taken such a brutal pounding that she can barely walk anymore and since honest prostitution is no longer medically viable she is going to trick a pathetic beta like you into sponsoring her. Get a grip you pathetic faggot. I don't even know you and I have nothing but contempt for you.
>>16924713
Find someone you like. Not saying you go and pick out a guy like a faggot but go and find someone who you wouldn't mind to stick around for a while. Then you should bother them. Well, just go and find a way to run into them and see them more often than you see other people. After a while you'll exchange numbers since you've already made small conversations here and there. Find days where both of you are not busy and do the things you both like to do together. Train each other in the things you are not good at such as sports, video games, studies, or even general life skills like laundry. Remember that every time you want to go see that movie with a chick or dude, you bring that friend with you.
TL;DR
>Find someone cool.
>Bump into them as much as possible
>Exchange numbers
>Invite them to hang out
>Do hobbies together or things like sports
>Invite them when you wanna go to movies
>You're done.
Now you can have deep conversations about your past or family or problems with your girlfriend boyfriend or school struggles.
>>16925729
You gotta pick man. Either you forget about the girl and move on to a better you, or you continue to keep her and never become fully happy.
If you want to move on, I'm all ears.
BTW OP is back.
Ask for quick advice or venting her. I'll be on my computer for the next 8 hours again. Got nothing else to do and would love to help all of you who need help.
I'll listen and reply. That's a promise.
>>16925447
Looking for any help or ideas really... just advices in general for a guy who feels like he is constantly cornering himself.
>>16925846
Don't be so stressed about everything that is going on. You gotta learn that all of the things needed to get done, WILL be done and you WILL succeed. But that'll be a promise if you can just calm down.
I'm not trying to edge you here but get some friends and tell them about your stress. Let some family know, they will for sure comfort you. Watch a little more TV and realize that you have a life and need to spend the most you can in that life to be happy.
Years go by quickly man, and you gotta remember that every year you get older. So have the mindset that every year in your life. You will smile, relax, and have fun more than worrying about responsibilities that will disappear after you die.
I am afraid of opening my mailbox.
I had huge debts (well, huge for me, about 5000 euro) and I paid half of it so far.)
But because of the negative mails, I stopped reading my mails in the past year. I thought about suicide a lot before I found a job and was able to save up.
Now I probably have enough money, unless there are more bills/too high increased debts.
Everytime I walk out of my appartment, I alost cry at the mailbox, stand there for 10-15 minutes and can't open it :(
Same with my emails :( I'm ruining my life. I am so scared that mabe because I didn't pay yet, that maybe I have to go to jail or have to pay twice as much. I don't even know if something that bad is possible in my country, but the fear is there.
Also been depressive for 10 years now with some good time inbetween.
What do? :/
>>16925899
WHAT YOU FUCKING DO IS STEP UP!
You feel so scared from your own mail and you think something bad will happen but nothing bad has happened at all.
So in your mind you've been building up this fear and as it stacks higher and higher you're sense of escape has become extreme such as the thought of suicide. Pretty sure that when you first stopped opening your mailbox you weren't thinking about killing yourself. Read your mail. You'll be so relieved after you do so. At first it'll feel so antagonizing and so so very bad but after that feeling is over, there will be nothing holding you back from fixing what you have to fix still. Just do it man. Go in and save yourself.
>read mail
>work hard
>pay up
>>16925952
2-3 weeks ago I went to the doctor, waited 1 minutes infront of the door and then went home endlessly sad. I was too scared to nock on that door and to go inside.
I know that you are right. I have to do it.
Just everytime I try I fail and I know how retarded this sounds because it is just opening a mailbox.
Thank you for your words. I will try to do that today >_<
>>16925964
this is serious guys, my dick is stuck in a toaster. How do I get it out, your answer will save me from being dickless.
>>16925973
I would probably unplug the toaster and keep it stuck.
Is the process of reversing misanthropy dependent on other people?
>>16926061
Reversing misanthropy is not realistic.
Since no ones responding too my thread I'll just copy paste it here, would like to hear your opinion OP
Any tips for being truly 100% happy with myself? Like to the point where, even if you never had another relationship for the rest of your life you'd be okay just being alive and seeing nice sights and stuff?
Kinda struggling with that right now, I think about girls too much even tho I work out a lot, and work really hard and have a fulfilling job and hobbies.
Are you like this OP?
>>16926212
I am exactly like this man. EXACTLY LIKE THIS.
I broke up with a girl who I thought I had a future with and eventually I got over it. And just like you I also think about girls too much. I also work out by playing a shit ton of basket ball and I have a full time job and my hobby is video games, 4chan, anime, and sports with friends.
I have issues about debt from school and procrastination but I am still 100% happy.
Here are some things you should try though.
First, find yourself a good reason to get up in the morning, Love yourself enough where you are the only reason why you get up every morning. Learn things every day. go on crash course or somewhere on youtube and learn something new.
For the lady thought, always believe that you will one day find your waifu somewhere and that you will successfully breed and create a son or daughter. Live everyday learning and experiencing the things you want to experience such as seeing nice sights.
You gotta believe for the better anon. Your kids depend on it and your well being depends on it. Think of your life as a story you will one day tell somebody and how you never regretted any decision you've made in the past. If you do regret some decisions, make new memories that overcome the disturbing regret your past has on you.
What is it that's bothering you anon?
>>16926254
Thanks man glad I asked you.
Life story shortened up: Lived with best friend in highschool, one day I discovered he had hunghimself behind our house. Got super depressed, ended up dating a girl few years later became instantly attached to eachother she was also depressed and suffered from PTSD so we drank every day and got worse and worse the both of us. And even tho we loved eachother it didn't work. Met a new girl, didn't work, PTSD ex came back sayiing how much she missed me even tho I was over her I still loved her so I hungout with her, we tried dating again, didn't work and then BOOM I was miserable because I got UNover her.
Now i'm here trying to be on my own and happy because theres no girls in my small town for me (I know all of them) and I'm just preparing to move away to the city where I'm a bit worried that I wont meet anyone because I don't know how to meet people anymore. So that's why I want to be happy on my own.
I do really miss my bestfriend tho, lifes alot different on your own.
>>16926336
Sounds like a really rough past man. But believe in yourself and become a better you. Sorry about your loss as well.
>>16926390
Thanks dude, I know I'll become a better me and I'm well on my way to it. I just don't love everything I do. I've been playing drums and guitar for 15 years and, i'm working in a dental lab learning how to make teeth, I know how to do siding and roofing.
I'm constantly developing new skills. I just don't love it like I should. Just too worried about people, always get sad because apparently i'm unattractive, even tho I've had really good looking gf's.....
pic related its me, ive been told by numerous girls and some guys on /soc/ that i'm pretty bad looking. I know it's vain, but it hurts too...Sorry i've been drinking, and Its all coming out now thanks for being here anon
>>16926426
No problem man. make sure that no one ever tells you who you are and who you are not.
Honesty and respect go a long way man, just keep that in mind. It'll help you accomplish anything.
I feel like I can't control myself anymore. Sometimes I don't know what's real. I will say very hurtful things to my bf and then later realize none of them are true. It scares me. How do I stop doing these things? How do I realize what is true and what is not?
>>16926499
Realize that trust is an important aspect in a relationship. Being rational at all times during any type of doubt is also important. You're still with him for a reason right?
>>16926520
But sometimes I am literally incapable of being rational. I don't know how he hasn't given up on me.
>>16926551
This is a different anon, not OP.
Please, read Meditations by marcus Aurelius
>>16926565
I'll check it out
>>16922477
>Muh african kids
That's bullshit.
You're right about not killing yourself tho.
>>16926551
Tell your boyfriend to remind you to be rational and realize that he hasn't left you and will always be there. Make a bracelet and while you make it think purely of how much you need him in your life and how he needs you as well. Then every time you have that urge to be rude and mean just look at your bracelet.
Eventually you'll become a good girlfriend inside.
There's this girl i met a year ago. She opened up to me showed that she liked me in very obvious ways. But I was anxious/unprepared and didn't respond to her obvious advances. Now I ran into her again and a managed to get her number. How do I proceed talking/texting with her to start getting with her? What's a good text to send to initiate a conversation with her despite what she initially thinks of me?
>>16926721
If you can't see her you can't date her.
See you guys tonight again. It was nice helping. I'll create a new thread with the same picture.
I'll be on 11pm to 7am every night so I'll be here for all of you.
Take it easy my friends. Have a good day.
