The way I have learned to deal with my chronic anxiety is to be very dominant and assertive, to take control and lead conversation, and to help the people around me with their issues before talking about myself.
All of this is kind of like an act I have perpetuated for years and years, and now people are starting to really look at me like a leader in many different types of situations, and I don't know if I can handle it. I am very introverted in truth, and I am afraid of letting people down when they put me in the position to make major decisions.
How do I know if this persona I have played out over all of these years is, well, "me" now... or if what I consider myself to be on the inside is the real me?
>>16921477
I think its time to stop listening to Evanescence
>>16921477
I struggle with the same dilemma. Many do. Many of whom you think are leaders feel just as you do. Remember, you are who you be. Who do you want to be? Why do you consider your inner self to be different, separate? Instead think of it as two faces of the same coin. You can switch to heads or tails as you need to. Don't think of your leadership skills as a facade, but as an actual developed dimension of your personality that you choose to display when necessary. This way you're not using it to hide your interior, because your inner personality is not supposed to be hidden, just kept private and used when necessary.
>>16921494
But they understand me
>>16921522
I think of it as different because I made up this personality years ago. I took out a piece of paper, and wrote down all of the qualities I wanted and who I wanted to be, and it all came true.
I think I am just concerned about letting people down. I wonder all the time if I'm really cut out for what I'm doing, and the position people put me in, and if I'm worthy of the respect that I am given. I don't feel like I've earned it. I feel like I'm just a very good actor playing a part that people are believing.
But you are right about what you say. The issue is that I feel like people expect me to be like this all of the time, and it makes me want to withdraw. I feel like I cannot show weakness, so all of these issues are festering deep down inside of me and there is almost no one to talk to.
