Is this normal?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Background: I am a 25 year old male, college grad, with a $75k per year great finance job that I love.
I am currently single. Over the past 4 years, I have dated a girl on and off. She means a lot to me, and it hurts bad seeing her with other guys.
The problem is, whenever I am dating her, I lose motivation. I eat like shit, dont go to the gym as much, and dont really care as much at work.
When we arent together (particularly one time when she ended it and dated another guy for 6 months), I got ripped in the gym, diet was in check, and I got promoted at work.
Its almost like I feel the drive for personal progress such as fitness and wealth stem from wanting to attract good looking women, and be better than other dudes. Seeing her with someone else pushed me to be the best I can be. When Im dating this girl and there is no motivation to attract other women, I lose it all and ask myself "whats the point in trying?"
Does this mean that she is just not the right one? When I find the right one, do you think Ill be motivated to do well FOR her? Is this normal? Am I doomed to never get married?
thanks guys
>>16921045
>tying your self-worth to pussy you don't have
Seriously don't date anyone anon. You'll see a hot chick with some other dude and probably cheat or at the very least get this obsession about them.
>>16921045
>Does this mean that she is just not the right one? When I find the right one, do you think Ill be motivated to do well FOR her?
No and no. This is a personality flaw, one that will make pretty much everyone leave you. It's not over when you get the girl. You have to work to keep her around.
>>16921050
I know. I am not dating her for that very reason. Its not fair to her and I need to figure my shit out first.
Ive been told that lust for other sloos never goes away, even after you get married. Which is understandable. I just dont want to get in a relationship, lose all motivation for self progress, and wish I could still bang other sloos.
Maybe Im still just really immature.
>bg 25
my age
>$75k a year
nice OP you should be happy for that.
>>16921125
Dont get me wrong, I know I have it good career wise. I am very lucky. I should be making $100k by 28 years old.
And maybe thats what I need to focus on right now. I guess Im just lonely and missing this girl a lot.
>>16921045
>ripped in 6 months
Yeah no
>>16921186
meh, dont really care if you believe me. I had already been lifting weights for about 2 years prior. Then when everything fell apart I cut hard and went from 20% bf to about 12%
>>16921239
are you a turbo manlet? not him but cmon man 6 months is ridiculous for getting really fit unless you're like 5'4.
>>16921247
Im 5'10, king of the manlets. Its not hard if you arent a undisciplined fuck. Have some self control, cut carbs late in the day, and hit two-a-day cardio/weight sessions over a six month span. Youd be surprised how much real hard work can do to your body.
