>married couple that doesn't want kids
Why are you treated like you're broken by everyone?
Because the next step after getting married is to have kids in the schema of life.
>>16919617
>everyone
you are not.
as for everyone else. just keep saying 'one day'. who the fuck cares?
>>16919617
What do you mean by everyone? Your friends and family? I mean I guess you would have that pressure from some parents wanting grandchildren. Other than that, why should anyone care what you do? You aren't broken and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This is coming from someone that plans to have children in a few years. I only want 1 girl and 1 boy though.
>A married person crying about being treated like they're broken
You must be kidding. At least you're not habitually single.
Most people will be jealous of your freedom and assume that you are only doing it because you can't have kids. Everyone judges everyone else by comparing them to their own lives. It just means you've taken the road less traveled by, and that makes all the difference.
>>16919648
YEAH BEING SINGLE IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. AMIRITE?
because they dont want you to get to 60 years old and realised you missed out on the greatest experience life can offer
>>16919683
Please enlighten me to why it's so great. Not OP.
It seems like you don't have a life anymore after them
>>16919696
BUT YOU GET TO HAVE KIDS. KIDS.
why cant i settle for being an uncle tho?
>>16919696
its not really something you can explain, you have to feel it, when you do you understand but its ok to be afraid before you do. like on the 'you dont have a life anymore' thing, what does that mean exactly? you wont be able to buy a jet ski or go on holiday to ibiza every year? what are you trading that for, a life time of memories and actualisation. women especially who never have children are MISERABLE once they get past age 45, try and find one and talk to them about that kind of thing. its really sad to see the wistful remorse of their misspent youth
>>16919617
Tell everyone you had a traumatic miscarriage 20 weeks in. That'll shut everybody up. Worked for my wife and I, except it actually happened. Sucked.
>>16919658
Way to completely miss the point, idiot. There is nobody who is looked down upon more in our society than single men. Period.
>>16919742
>there is nobody who is looked down upon more in our society than single men
go outside.
>>16919752
wow you sure proved me wrong, Anon.
>>16919759
i didnt need to. but sure. everyone loves crack heads way more than single guys.
>>16919742
Except single, childless women over 25. It doesn't even compare.
>>16919683
>because they dont want you to get to 60 years old and realised you missed out on the greatest experience life can offer
Yeah, tell us about the first time that your teen-aged daughter came home with her dress on backwards.
>>16919770
>Except single, childless women over 25
LMAO no. Women, regardless of relationship status, are highly sought after from every corner of our society. For relationships, for work, for friendship, for everything. The reason why people ask single childless women over 25 wtf they're doing is because they are so highly sought after, in fact. They can pick any man they want and settle down at any time.
What do childless couples even do when not working
>>16919773
bad things happen in life, dont be so afraid of facing them. a little personal responsibility does a lot for your spirit
>>16919778
>omen, regardless of relationship status, are highly sought after from every corner of our society.
This my mom is in her 50s and has no problem getting dates at her age.
I feel ya OP. I've been with my current bf for over 5 years and we're never going to have kids, even if we get married. I really don't like kids, and the thought of having one makes me sick. I never understood how people think babies are so cute. No more personal freedom, no more privacy. I'd also know that I'd be a shitty parent.
>>16919617
because the point of marriage is to have kids.
Dont listen to all the other lunatics. There is literally no reason to pair off besides rearing the next generation.
>>16919815
other than the legal benefits of course, such as joint property (not that those mean much when divorce inevitably rears its head).
cant people just get married though i mean old people still do it anyway.
>>16919617
because you are, unless you've got reproductive problems or are faggots, or have kids from previous marriages
you're going to skip the entire parent stage and go right to the obnoxious old couple that dresses up their pets. childless old couples are either creepy or selfish cunts.
>>16919617
It is like people who pay a cover charge to get into a top bar and then don't want food or drink
Kids are amazing and fun and rewarding - why wouldn't you want them?
I mean, it is OK, it is just - odd
>>16919835
>not wanting kids means your broken
>but not being able to reproduce means your not
say what now?
>>16919846
but top bars have great parties even if you arent drinking. i dont drink but i go to bars all the time. i just have water and hang out and whatnot.
legally there isnt much of a point to getting married, but most people dont get married because they are getting kids. we were taught that you get married when you are in love.
i mean i believe divorce is the defining force of modern relationships, but what is wrong with taking a day to celebrate love?
>>16919848
I believe people who think this way are just unhappy in their lives and jealous as fuck of people who don't have to deal with kids.
Every day I am thankful that I have no children. I'm almost 30, and still not ready for that kind of commitment.
>>16919696
Here is an example
>had a cold, not feeling well, go to bed early on a Friday night
>Wife has an thing early Saturday, tells me she'll take the youngest two with her leaving the 12 year old and 10 year old with me
>Wake up about 9, still miserable
>Kids come in with chicken soup, crackers, coffee
>The first time they ever cooked something it was to make me soup when I was sick, did it on their own just because they love me
>>16919846
I'm too selfish to have kids, plain and simple.
>>16919860
makes sense. i get evolution wise were supposed to have kids, but its not like ancient cavemen sat around thinking 'OH BOY I CANT WAIT TO BE A DAD'
they fucked cuz they were animals, and kids happened. nature didnt make them need to want to have kids.
the idea of having kids is rather silly these days considering in most cases both parents are expected to work to support them. even if you take time off in the early years, you basically let other people deal with 90% of your child. you see them in the evening for TV time and food, and even then they have their own activities to keep them busy.
ive seen people spend more time with their roommates then they did with their parents growing up.
its not like before where you would spend al lday with your parents working the home and making everytthing meet.
>>16919735
That's terrible
We had 5 miscarriages, three at an earlier stage, but one at 19 weeks, one at 16
You can get over it
>getting married
>not having a permenant roommate of the opposite gender that you share a bed with
>>16919865
thats great and all. heres a story for you
>i get a cold
>i make some soup
>everything is fine and i dont have to worry about taking care of kids while sick as fuck
i think kids are awesome. i even plan to have one some day if life opens up for it. but people arent broken just cuz they dont want their life to open up for it.
im not broken for thinking id rather focus on what i love rather than the possibility of having a good kid.
>>16919867
this is the sad truth behind the whole deal that only this poster is brave enough to admit to
>>16919865
Oh god
They're both at the age when teenage drama will start. I could never do that, holy fucking shit if I had teenage girls for children I would end up beating and/or murdering them.
>>16919893
I just like sex and privacy and personal freedom too much to give it away. And I'd rather not experience decreased satisfaction in my relationship until the horrible things move out. I'm also too vain, I don't want to gain baby weight or have my vagoo be permanently more loose. Ugh the thought of growing a baby inside me is disgusting.
>>16919883
I never said anything about people who don't want kids - I was answering a direct question
>>16919897
jesus christ are you this jumpy about everything? grow a spine
>>16919906
yeah thats plenty britney we arent interested in your life story here
>>16919897
That was years ago - my oldest is 19, graduated college, and working full time
I have all sons - our version of 'teen drama' is 'How do I get grass stains out?'
>>16919906
>It isn't "not wanting kids" that makes others think you are broken, it is the shallow vanity that is behind it that makes others think you are broken
>>16919939
I'm in agreement there, but what are some not broken reasons for not wanting kids?
>>16919878
Yeah and when they get hospitalized good luck trying to visit them retard
>>16919617
Because you will get a divorce when that biological clock goes off
>>16919950
My wife and I have some dear friends, our oldest "couple friends"
They each have a (different) genetic disease with a 90%+ likelihood of being passed on to any children.
>>16920050
Are there other acceptable reasons to not want kids?
>>16920069
Probably not, no
>>16920069
We just don't want them now. Why does anyone care holy shit.
>>16920087
What about knowing you wouldn't be a good parent?
Excuse me, but how the fuck is it "not acceptable" to not want kids? Why the fuck do you people think it's a bad thing to not want kids? Why can't people just live their damn lives the way they want to?
>>16920118
Because people have them "hurr because I'm supposed to" and get jealous that non-parents don't have to deal with any of it.
I stayed up until 3am last night playing video games, while someone probably 10 years younger than me went to bed at 9pm from parental exhaustion.
Because you are. I don't have time to listen to your D&D bullshit all the time anymore. You are not 15
>>16920491
>I don't have time
because you're too busy dealing with shitty kids
Because Zombiemoms can't conceive their children isn't the best thing ever to happen to them.
Because they assume they know better and how could we know if we never try.
Because your parents want grand kids goddammit and your being selfish by not putting their sons genes in your womb.
Because society needs to create children to survive and so it's conditioned, both by natural instinct and by society, to be normal, have kids, and continue the species.
None of these above things are ever going to change. There are plenty of open minded people who don't care, but for every one of them there will always be one of the above.
All you can do is accept that and develop strategies to deal with the above as appropriate.
>>16919791
Whatever the fuck we want.
>>16919791
Travel. That's the main reason we don't want kids.
Seriously, fuck kids. I might have them one day, but I'm almost 30, and how can people feel like dedicating your entire life to the existence of another being is living?
All fucking day and night suddenly becomes some kind of work. Make sure you don't fuck up at work so you can keep paying for your kid. Get off work, cook for your kid. Teach your kid. Keep your kid healthy. Sleep. Kid, kid, kid. What's the fuckin' reward?
18+ years of no sleep and a drained bank account. Time to retire, too old to do anything but sit on your couch in front of the TV and die! Yay.
>Being married
>Being not broken
Choose 1
>>16921135
The problem with contemporary child-rearing is not kids, it's capitalism. (same as with most things)
>>16921775
Op must have some kind of religious or ethnic or Midwestern shit going on in their families. I am ove 30 and I didn't have a kid till I had been married for 10 years and almost no one harassed me. I have a lot of friends my age who aren't going to have kids and I don't see them get any flack either. But I live in Southern California.
I made a conscious choice to have kids (rather than just accidentally getting knocked up, and thinking 'fuck it' like most parents) and it's like anything, it gives you both sides of the coin in equal measure; a lot of pride, oceans of gooey love feelings, mountains of joy, and also soul crushing rage and frustration. It's a mixed bag like everything. Not for everyone!
I want to clear some things up
1. It won't destroy your relationship, unless your relationship isn't strong enough to handle the stress. On the contrary, I feel it's deepened my relationship with my spouse like nothing else could. Love IS a battlefield and children are the enemy, if you present a united front, and keep the passion alive while the kids are napping, then you're golden.
2. It doesn't ruin your vag. The vagina is a muscle like everything else, if you work it out, you can be just as tight or tighter than you ever were (Kegels. Fucking Google it)
I totally respect not wanting kids. Live life the way you want to live it. I do get a little sad when a smart, educated, financially stable couple decides not to have kids though, only because we have too much ghetto trash popping out half a dozen kids by 25.
>>16919791
Travel with service doggy and take care of animals when not traveling. Play video games get each other gifts as supprise because we have the money to do whatever without having kids. Some people are not meant to have kids there is nothing wrong with that I rather focus on the people already on this planet I do not need to pop something out of me to learn compassion. I value the life's already around me.
>>16921775
:3
My mother-in-law won't shut up about it for one. I mean she had my wife when she was 16, she's not dying anytime soon
>>16923310
It's also weird when your woman's parents WANT you to knock her up. I'm used to the opposite.
Just say in a depressed tone that you've tried for years and make them feel like shit and buy you lunch out of guilt
>>16919617
>>16290426
Because you are the death of our culture
Because your ancestors fought bleed and died for every loaf of bread, waking up at sunrise to till the fields till sundown every day to save up enough food for winter
And now you live in the land of plenty with no starvation where your ancestors have dreamed their children could live so they could pass on their lineage
And you've said
>lol no I care more about me then to continue the family
It is the most selfish thing a person can do
You put yourself before your family
Your ancestors did not work so you could fuck off
They worked for their children and their children's children and their children's children's children ect
And you've said no
>>16924248
I don't live for my ancestors, asshole. This is the only life I've got.
>>16920050
How about finances? I actually want kids, but my husband is a disabled vet and hasn't been able to find steady work. We could have a kid, but we'd have to live in our car, and why even have a kid if they are just going to have a shitty upbringing?
>>16924248
Fucking faggot. If you're going to guilt trip people to have children in an already overpopulated world, at least go for a reason with relevance to them.
>>16919617
>>married couple that doesn't want kids
>Why are you treated like you're broken by everyone?
Generally speaking, couples that don't want to have kids are selfish, self-centered assholes.
You learn humility and compassion from kids, you grow up yourself.
Couples w/o kids end up staying immature assholes forever.
>>16919950
>i dont have any family and my children would grow up without anyone other than their parents
>i think that being alive in this system is reprehensible and insane and I'm not sacrificing my offspring to the machine
it's a cycle op
>dipshit has kid because original thought and saying no to social pressure is just 2hard
>sees someone making their own choices
>immediate panic! defense mechanism! "but I LUV being a parent/you'll change your mind too/muh biologee"
>pressure works on some other dipshit
>other dipshit has a kid because original thought is 2hard.... Etc etc
>>16925467
I'm batshit insane and know my genes and personality would make me a terrible parent. Try harder.
>>16925467
This is so fucking stupid. Just because you have no life and have to spend all of your money and time on another human or two doesn't mean you've automatically earned maturity or compassion.
>>16925467
>You learn humility and compassion from kids, you grow up yourself.
Topfuckingkek. What disney movie did you get that idea from?
>>16925442
Why isn't he getting disability? My husband is a vet and his only real problem is hemorrhois and super light PTSD and he gets 100%
>>16925467
Give me a fucking break. This is bait right?
>>16926020
He gets about $400/month. Basically just enough to pay for his health insurance and his phone. I pay for everything else. Once we pay all the bills, we maybe have $100 for incidentals and maybe going to a movie once and a while. There is no way on earth that a baby can be fed, diapered, clothed and given healthcare on $100. Especially healthcare, just to switch to the family plan on my insurance would be another $300/month, forget affording stuff like antibiotics if they get an ear infection. And forget anything that might actually be helpful to them in life beyond a bare subsistence, like saving up for their college education.
There's always the "well, if you wait until you can afford it, you'll never have a kid hurrr" crowd, but that just boggles my mind. I mean, if finances didn't matter and someone should have a kid even if they couldn't afford it, why do teen moms get such a hard time? Or broke families on food stamps?
>>16919966
You do know you can make anyone your emergency contact and give them visitation rights, right? It's like one form of paperwork.
