How girls have you actually asked out?
>I want to die because I can't get a gf
Your problem is that you think in memes.

>>16919473
I would say well over 5-10 so far in a span of 4 years.. idk, not necessarily want to kill myself because I don't have a girlfriend.. I feel like dying because I feel unwanted, even by my own family.

>>16919488
Also forgot to mention I'm talking to my ex again, and even she at first seem interested in getting back together, but now she seems like she doesn't which is partly why I'm giving up and saying fuck it.

>>16919454
pretend like you don't care about the pussy...

you might have a vicious cycle going:

>can't find gf
>hate self
>self-hate makes you unattractive to be around
>can't find gf

the only real way to break this cycle is to like yourself. all the pickup artist shit in the world is essentially just faking the "I value myself" vibe as hard as possible. that might work for one night stands, but if you want someone to stay with you, you need the real thing.

you are a human being. even if nobody liked you - and someone does, because you have close friends - you would still be a human being. you have as much right to be alive as anybody else.

make a list of stuff you like about yourself. if you can't manage that, have your closest 1 or 2 friends help you. if nothing else, make a list of stuff *they* like about you. keep it around and read it from time to time til you actually start to believe it. don't beat yourself up, ever. talk to yourself the way you would want a loved one to talk to you. have compassion for yourself. not endless indulgence, but compassion.

>>16919488
>I feel unwanted, even by my own family.
the cool thing about liking yourself more is that you become more comfortable with yourself and therefore more comfortable alone. then it doesn't bother you as much if someone doesn't want you. yeah you will still get lonely sometimes. but you will not end up seething with bitterness like most of /r9k/.

>>16919454
same shit except I'm ugly.
ahah

>>16919521
not OP, but that sounds great
so besides just saying it, what would make you like yourself more?

I never got how this works, but everyone keeps repeating it
is everyone just living their own bullshit lies?

>>16919493
This is never worked for me, I have tried..I'm not even doing the whole "putting the pussy on the pedestal" thing. I just want someone to fucking love me is that too much to ask for?

>>16919521
I'm not gonna lie, I realize it's a vicious cycle but I really don't see things to like about me that normal guys can do just as easily.. I frequent r9k a lot and I'm part of the lot that feel bitter and empty from the vicious cycle that you mentioned.

>>16919561
no joke, stop going to r9k
that shit only makes it worse, and this board is not too far either

I'm spiraling down again after some more shit happened, but at some point a few months ago I just told myself "ok fuck this I'm just gonna stop" and managed to not give a fuck for about 3 months or so
never coming here felt much better, all this red-pill crap was out and I could enjoy myself a bit more

so really, at least r9k, just drop it
or at least have an open mind and try it out for like a month, see how you feel afterwards
deal?

>>16919536
Not that anon, but therapy helped me. My therapist pointed out all the instances I was overlooking when people were actually nice to me. Now I notice it every time, and I feel better about myself. I guess that is still basing my self worth on others a bit, but it helped me get to a point where I care less about what others think and am more confident in my own decisions, too. Because I know that for every 5 times I'm treated badly, there are equal or more times of being treated well. When I say treated well, I mean small stuff like a cashier making conversation or a coworker saying hi with a smile. The world seemed like less of a bad place when I realized not everyone is bad. It also helps to start giving yourself a pat on the back when you get through something unpleasant. Even if you felt you messed up (aka said something wrong and got turned down for a date), internally congratulate yourself for trying, and keep trying. Otherwise the negative voice in your mind can brainwash you.

>>16919536
>so besides just saying it, what would make you like yourself more?
being the kind of person that you like to be around is usually a good way to go. what traits do you admire in others? develop those traits in yourself, even if you can only do it a little bit.

>is everyone just living their own bullshit lies?
probably some people are, but you can tell when someone just feels more comfortable in their own skin than they used to. so I know some people do genuinely learn to like themselves more.

>>16919561
>I really don't see things to like about me
that's why you ask your friends. believe me, I know what it is to look at myself and not be able to find a single fucking good thing. I have struggled with this for years and have made progress, though it's been slow.

anyway if you value your friends' opinions, you should value their opinion of you too. if a good friend tells you he likes you because you're funny, efficient, resourceful, whatever, you should take it to heart.

>that normal guys can do just as easily
there is no such thing as normal. I am dead serious about this. there are ideas and behaviours that are more prevalent or more common, but that's all. the normie/non-normie thing is an illusion.

>I frequent r9k a lot
believe me, you will feel better if you stop doing this. that place is like an infinite echo chamber of self-reinforcing self-loathing.

>>16919454

>Everyone else

yep, this is 100% true. you are literally the only single person trololol.

>im not ugly

post a picture, get some real insight.

>manager type job position

what does that mean? shift manager? mc donalds manager? manager itself is no longer a prestitious title. what do you manage?

i manage a small business. so not as prestigious as being a big manager.

>MY CAR DOESNT LOOK BEAT UP WHY AM I NOT DROWNING IN PUSSY

what?

>i want to suicide cuz tfw no gf

if this is your biggest problem you are whiny. stop pretending you wanna kill yourself.

>>16919621
>being the kind of person that you like to be around is usually a good way to go
but I am that person
and the friends that I have seem to like that person too, I have really good times with my friends, and with some I can really talk about everything

it's just that it seems that no girl also would want that
or at least I haven't met them yet

so you see, even though there's plenty of sources of gratification, it takes quite a lot of self-convincing to keep telling myself that I'm a good option for women, since it just ain't happening

now I'm not gonna derail OP's thread

my point really is that everything sucks and nothing works out until it does and then all of a sudden everything payed off and was good in the end, then it ends, and you start from square 1 again

File: 1451910629301.jpg (54 KB, 688x960) Image search: [Google]

54 KB, 688x960

>>16919695
I'm in a similar spot. Got tons of friends, go out very often, am super social but I'm still terribly lonely and might as well be a ghost to girls. It feels super disheartening when you got a friend who's a fat stoner neet with almost no prospects for future yet he'd been with his girlfriend for 2 years, but you only get rejected and turned down every single time.

>>16919779
aw mate don't dwell so much on what other people have and what other people 'deserve'

there's no such thing dude, and it doesn't help staying in that mindset either

stuff happens to people, and life can be pretty random. It can be random for the better, and it can just as well be random for the worse. There's a lot of luck into all of this

unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it. Take a break, have a beer, say fuck it, and get back there. Waiting for it to happen _might_ work, but statistically it most likely won't

and
>dat fuckin pic ;__;
>h

>>16919823
>Take a break, have a beer, say fuck it, and get back there.

I tried this so many times anon. It feels like no matter what I do it's impossible for me to not be alone. Even worse with every passing year I feel like I have less of a chance. Even girls my age already sort of expect you to have any form of relationship experience.

The longer I wait, the more am I missing out on an aspect of life that has always been out of my reach, but almost everyone else got to experience.

>>16919850

how high are your standards vs. how attractive are you? post a pic.

i find it extremely common that guys refuse to lower their standards (or even women) but continue to whine about being alone.

quality or quantity, take your pick, but dont whine about it.

i prefer quality. been single for four years. probably ending that streak saturday cuz i finally met someone good enough. but i havent whined about it.

if you are a person worthy of dating then you already have a nice life and can enjoy that. but if your life isnt enjoyable why would anyone want to join you in it?

>>16919862
Can't really say my life isn't enjoyable. I have friends, hobbies and I really enjoy myself. It's just that I'm terribly lonely.

And regarding my standards, I don't think there is even anything to talk about here. Often when I was discussing girls with my friends everyone was shocked how high I rated average girls. Generaly by now the only real standards I have is 1. She likes me and 2. She's not horribly disfigured.

I'd gladly settle for average or even below average but even girls like these don't even seem to notice me.

>>16919850
I eventually just told myself I have until I hit 30 to fix this

that (by now) gives me 4 more years of trying
after that I'll allow myself to just go all out and fuck it all, just full yolo mode

I made up a list of stuff that I can try and just started going through it as much as I can
>start working out, even though I'm a manlet
>try to go out in more popular places
>start asking friends (who are sadly the same as yours, all fixed up) if they know single people, or at least make it obvious I'm looking
>online dating
>travel solo
>various courses that I'd like where I might meet new people
>travel to place where people are (even shorter) than I am
>really really down the line I'll even make a fucking tindr account of all things

I might be missing a few, but that's about it

I literally can't think of much more. I already have hobbies, a good job, I bought a fucking house big enough for two people, and I can even have nice conversations on a number of topics. Fuck I even accepted having small-talk

I haven't run out of options and I don't you have either.
So there's no point in giving up yet.
You can only do your best anon

>>16919891
>>16919850
oh and obligatory
youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE

>>16919891
>I eventually just told myself I have until I hit 30 to fix this

Don't do this anon. I told myself something similar, that if I can't get a GF in 5 years I'm probably killing myself.

4 years later nothing looks like it's going to change. I'm just completely lost and hopeless by now. I don't know what else I can change in my life.

>>16919887

people claim 1 and 2 all the time. but often thats bullshit and they dont go for all the copious ugly girls around them.

that being said, lets pretend your standards are real (or rather, lets assume that you exude this mindset).

what girl wants to be that to you.
>REALLY ANON? IM NOT TOO DISFIGURED FOR YOU? MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!

girls (or rather, people) dont want to be 'anyone' to you. they want to be 'someone'. they want to be the special someone. thats why girls dont like the supposed 'nice guy'. they are the 'romance slut'. they treat every girl nice. whereas the 'douchebags' treat only the girl nice.

its nice. that being said, prove me wrong. go out of your way to hit on the ugliest fattest girls you can find since all you seem to care about is having a random person by your side to somehow make life enjoyable.

>im horribly lonely.

the bobcat teaches us to be alone without being lonely. learn to enjoy both and you'll never have a truly sad moment, at least one that isn't introspectively enjoyable.

then whenever someone does come along for the ride, thats great. but you're whining and moaning and threatening suicide over being single, and no one wants that.

>>16919931
Wait anon, I'm confused. You'll have to explain to me because I'm completely autistic when it comes to any form of romantic relationship.

First you ask me if my standards aren't too high and I tell you that, well, they really aren't. And now you criticize me for having standards that are too low.

>>16919959

my claim is that
>you say your standards are the lowest possible
>but secretly they are actually rather high and you dont bother going for girls that dont meet your 'secret standard'
>despite this, you exude the 'no standards' mindset because of desperation
>therefore no woman wants to be with you because you dont see them as anything special

>>16919922
I know what you mean
I'm aware there's a very high chance that will also happen to me

however I don't think I'll move my ass and do something about it otherwise

I've had mild success, or at least improvement since I started

but if I haven't accomplished anything until then, I will at least be at peace with the thought that I've tried everything I could

>>16919974
>but secretly they are actually rather high and you dont bother going for girls that dont meet your 'secret standard'

But anon I did try to go for them. I mean, I don't know why do you think I didn't. I admit as a teenager I obviosuly started with the hottest girls in school, but since I kept getting rejected I kept moving down on the scale. Anyway, I'm in uni now and practicaly nothing has changed.

>>16919990

because its not hard to bag a 300 pound landwhale.

>>16919990
High school girls are shallow, fickle, and cruel. Many of them, anyways. Please don't define your success at getting a relationship by high school experiences.

File: 6261486a41f3d5b3a8ac722b96485159.gif (987 KB, 500x466) Image search: [Google]

987 KB, 500x466

>>16919997
You know I kind of find this comment hurtful because there was this girl who everyone made fun of because she was fat (have to admit she was a bit over chubby) but I really liked her and I thought she was a really cool person.

Anyway I tried asking her out and got rejeted. As always.

>>16919454
Where do you live, OP?