>>16919219
You have two options.

1) Tell her, point blank, that you are really through and you would like her to stop talking to you. Unless you do want her to be your friend long term (I advise against this, since she's already going batshit), don't tell her you want to be friends. Tell her you really, truly are over; that it could never work; and that you're moving on and will not communicate further with her. You wish her a good life, and a happy future, but you won't be in it.

Then, cut contact. Completely. Save the chatlogs she sends you onto an external harddrive, including where you told her you no longer want contact with her. Never, ever talk to her again.

2) Ignore her right now. Still save all the messages, but never contact her again, ever, period. If you do, do it only after you know you've both got your shit straight, and do it knowing you may be opening up a can of worms. Eventually, even if she does go through your social media or contact your friends, she'll get bored and move on.

That said, things can go badly in these situations, especially since she has already contacted your friends in the past.

Continued.

>>16919244
While she may grow bored and leave you alone, it's unlikely she'll do such without a final lashing out. Consider her, at this point, to be a stranger regardless of your history; she gave up any chance of you two even being friends when she began behaving this way.

She will likely contact your friends. Do not tell her to stop, do not get involved. When THEY talk to you, explain the situation. If you don't think they'll take your side on ignoring her, tell them you had to end it because you didn't want children or to get married, but she did, and that you are having a hard time getting over it but focusing on other parts of your life. They'll at worst think you aren't over her, relay that to her, and likely stop being involved. Don't give anyone any drama to work with.

When that doesn't work out, she may try self-harming. It's unlikely she'll kill herself, or even seriously hurt herself. If this comes up and she tells you, do not contact her. Contact someone who can immediately help her out, like a roommate or relative, or even the authorities. Do not say you'll be there for her, do not try and comfort her, just handle it in a way where she can't be harmed without your intervention.

If she tries to do anything to you, like bad mouth you, destroy your belongings or interfere with your relationships/work, handle it like a stranger did it. Do damage control with people who matter to you, call the police if she does anything illegal, and stay calm.

She's looking for a reaction - either to drag you back in, or make you miserable.

Continued

>>16919244
Both options are great, but I think the first option wouldn't work in the situation I am in. I told her something along those lines the same day we broke up, yet she continues to text me. Honestly, I just want to avoid talking to her until she gets her head out of her ass and acts like a damn woman instead of a child.

The second option is what I'm gonna be doing. I'd be willing to talk to her about this whole thing, but I know that if I talk to her, I'm going to be baited back in being with her. I know I'm going to be guilt tripped like before, which I dealt with for five years in this relationship.

[Continued b/c you replied]

>>16919256
It is extremely important you don't give her one. Imagine someone learns that every time they scream, you give them $20 so they stop; they'll then do it more often. Even if you stop giving them money, they'll keep doing it in the hopes that you give in, and if you ever give in they'll now know they can make you cave eventually and become unbearable.

She's like that right now. If you ignore her long enough, she'll get bored. The worst possible thing is she pulls something extreme - a rape claim, a domestic abuse charge, maybe even a stalking claim.

Make sure you have PROOF of everything she's saying and doing NOW because of that, but don't make it a big deal. That'll look bad should it come up. Tell people she's taking it badly, and tell them what she's doing, but don't tell them you think she'll do something more extreme.

Save chatlogs as txt documents and as screenshots. Save any evidence of her crazy. Keep it all cataloged, and don't throw it out unless she fucking dies.

Trust me, I've been there before. I did the whole "try to comfort thing" which became the "friend thing", which became the "shit storm thing", which lead to a year and a half of fights. I lost 90% of my friends, the police were called, and I was accused of rape.

Seriously, the only way to win is to not play.

>>16919256

>When that doesn't work out, she may try self-harming. It's unlikely she'll kill herself, or even seriously hurt herself. If this comes up and she tells you, do not contact her. Contact someone who can immediately help her out, like a roommate or relative, or even the authorities. Do not say you'll be there for her, do not try and comfort her, just handle it in a way where she can't be harmed without your intervention.

i'm surprised you brought this up Anon. Two years ago I dealt with this and she went completely MIA on her social media. I thought she had done it. I went to her apartment and she was just sitting there doing her college work.

> She will likely contact your friends. Do not tell her to stop, do not get involved. When THEY talk to you, explain the situation. If you don't think they'll take your side on ignoring her, tell them you had to end it because you didn't want children or to get married, but she did, and that you are having a hard time getting over it but focusing on other parts of your life. They'll at worst think you aren't over her, relay that to her, and likely stop being involved. Don't give anyone any drama to work with.

I can give two shits if she contacts them again. They find her bat shit crazy. I'm just afraid she'll go a step further and contact my own parents about this.

> If she tries to do anything to you, like bad mouth you, destroy your belongings or interfere with your relationships/work, handle it like a stranger did it. Do damage control with people who matter to you, call the police if she does anything illegal, and stay calm.

I know not to get angry about this. I'll get the authorities involved if something she is doing is a step far.

>>16919268

>She's like that right now. If you ignore her long enough, she'll get bored. The worst possible thing is she pulls something extreme - a rape claim, a domestic abuse charge, maybe even a stalking claim.

This is kind of what the second option you proposed in your first reply. This is what I'm going to be sticking with. I know talking to her is going to lead to something bad and I rather leave it as that.

> Make sure you have PROOF of everything she's saying and doing NOW because of that, but don't make it a big deal. That'll look bad should it come up. Tell people she's taking it badly, and tell them what she's doing, but don't tell them you think she'll do something more extreme.

> Save chatlogs as txt documents and as screenshots. Save any evidence of her crazy. Keep it all cataloged, and don't throw it out unless she fucking dies.

Got this covered. So far this has only lead to her texting me and attempting to call me. I think its unlikely she'll attempt to go to my house or my place of work, but it can always happen.

> Trust me, I've been there before. I did the whole "try to comfort thing" which became the "friend thing", which became the "shit storm thing", which lead to a year and a half of fights. I lost 90% of my friends, the police were called, and I was accused of rape.

Shits fucked up, man. I originally had tried to make her and I friends, but it ended up going back into an relationship, and we just fought constantly.

> Seriously, the only way to win is to not play.

Yeah... I'm just not going to reply to her. She's acting like a child and I'm the only party who is being the adult. If she can grow the fuck up we can settle this, but for now - I'm not talking to her. Not after what she's done in the past.

Thanks so much for the comforting replies Anon. Now I can get the burden off my back about feeling like I'm the shitty one.

>>16919219
>Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

You violated Rule #1.

Rule #1: Never stick your dick in crazy.

>>16919261
Definitely go with the second one then. If you know you can be baited back, she knows it too.

>>16919271
If she's fake-attempted suicide before, she'll do it again and she won't be afraid to probably do some minor harm to herself to prove she's hurt. Ignore it, but make sure to at least appear like you're trying to get her help while being uninvolved, in case she does hurt herself; then no one can say you let her do it.

If she does talk to your parents, make sure they know the full scope of it. With my ex, we were both legal adults (she was 22, I was 20) and she still had her MOTHER call my mother and tell her she'd done a bad job raising me. My main regret was not telling my mother sooner, because she ended up doing a lot of damage control for me.

Unless you don't think they'll be on your side or you aren't close, let them know. They may be able to help you.

>>16919286
Make sure to save the texts, so they don't get lost or deleted. If she shows up in person, ignore her as much as you can. If she touches you, tell her to stop and then get to a public place. If she keeps it up, call the police, but have witnesses. Log any times she does visit you so you know the time frame and she can't twist it.

Don't feel like the shitty one. Usually relationships have two sides, but this is honestly abusive and manipulative. If she calms down 100%, have a single discussion with her and try to end it on good terms, but don't become her friend even then. Only when she finds someone else or is otherwise solidly "done" would I try having any contact.

I kept trying to "smooth things over" with my ex, at least until things went full batshit, and honestly unless she has a good reason to really know it's over she'll keep trying to come back even if you just want to be "done" with her and not actively avoiding her.

Good luck man.

>>16919312
I actually am going to speak to my parents about this. I rather let them know now than later. Thanks for the suggestion.

I will be saving her texts and I'll back up them up onto Dropbox or some other cloud storage.

> Don't feel like the shitty one. Usually relationships have two sides, but this is honestly abusive and manipulative. If she calms down 100%, have a single discussion with her and try to end it on good terms, but don't become her friend even then. Only when she finds someone else or is otherwise solidly "done" would I try having any contact.

Like I said, once she gets her head out of her ass is when I'd talk to her.

~~~

She just texted me saying the following:

"Sorry if I did anything to unintentionally hurt you. I know you might be mad or hurt right now, but I'm really sorry and i miss you and I miss talking to you. [... Some personal stuff ...] I wish you and I would talk together about how we could fix this."

Is this just her trying to manipulate me to talk to her?

>>16919359
>Is this just her trying to manipulate me to talk to her?

Absolutely.

>>16919359
Yeah, it's always better with things like this to 1) Tell your side first and 2) To appear MUCH, MUCH more sane. If they ever had any doubts towards her, it'll all come up now too.

>Like I said, once she gets her head out of her ass is when I'd talk to her.

A word of caution there. I am quite certain my ex was crazier than yours (I'll leave it at "she now has a tumblr, claims to be trans; she also molested her sisters and a dog"), but my breakup got divided into parts.

The big reason was, about a month after we broke up, she "settled down" and I began talking to her again. We were, for a span of an entire three days, friends again and getting along - until I made a joke about her and a few other friends that basically boiled down to, "I can't believe I'm here with you losers and my ex."

This lead to her having a breakdown where she burnt down our shared house in Minecraft, banned my best friend from the server, chose to ignore me for the entire rest of the evening (while everyone made fun of her for burning down a minecraft house), got mad when I went home early, and left me six voice mails with the first being "I'm sorry I acted out" and the last one being "Don't you EVER talk to me or my family again".

Watch out, she may never be sane again.

>Is this just her trying to manipulate me to talk to her?
Probably. She may honestly believe it, if she's crazy or stupid enough, but it's still low-key manipulation.

>>16919244
If someome says 1) to me ever again I'll rip their heart out of their chest right on the spot. Fucking standard bullshit that shows you never cared about the relationship in the first place. Fucking weak.

>>16919629
Calm down crazy. That's the exact reason someone told you "1)" in the first place.

>>16919649
Joke's on you, working Network Security for a big ISP opens all doors to stalk whoever you want, even after they "cut contact" with you.

>>16919219
Gonna go against the crowd here.

She's clearly doing this because she needs closure. Give it to her. Camly (firm without being a cunt about it) tell her the relationship is done and it's time she started looking for other people.

>>16919668
So you're openly admitting to being a crazy ex girlfriend? Kind of a dick move anon. Or did I misunderstand something?

>>16919629
>>16919649
>>16919668
>>16919977
Yeah no, they're straight up telling you they're the crazy girlfriend.

Look buddy; people don't do that to normal humanbeings. If someone treated you like he suggested, it's because you did the shit his girlfriend is doing, like pester all his friends for information, lie about hurting yourself for attention and generally bugging the shit out of him after years of guilting him.

People don't cut contact completely after five years unless they have to. So, assuming you actually have a job anywhere? That justification? Yeah, that's why, sweetie.

>>16919297
This is such a funny thing because last night I did an experiment. Every guy who hit on me I told them up front that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. And every single guy (there was about 5) was like, "So what?" or "So does everybody" and I was like "but I'm woooo… psycho stalky lady who's going to ruin your life" and they were like, 'So what's your name?

Seriously. I'm 'come out" as BPD on facebook and it hasn't chased one guy away.

And btw I've had plenty of crazy dick stuck in me and I asked for it and went running back fo mo.

We all just human, babe. You guys are really hard on yourselves and other people.

>>16920387
Crazy typically means "Easy, and amazing sex, but DON'T FUCKING DO IT. IT'S NOT WORTH IT." BPD means absolutely nothing to guys that haven't dealt with it before, so we try to warn them.

>>16919685
That's not exactly against the crowd.