i was observing my best friend and noticed how she had so many friends who'll invite her out to things and they'll hang out. she'll dislike/feel annoyed or disrespected by some of these people, but still hang out with them.
meanwhile, i only keep my closest friends near me. if i feel like they'll be a long term pain in the ass, i cut them off. as a result, i only really have my best friend and my boyfriend. i'm not very good at keeping ties with people i don't feel "connected" with... and i feel like i pushed out a lot of people when they've irritated me. (usually for being consistently inconsiderate, rude, or being overly competitive, annoying, etc.) or i let them phase out, because we didn't have much in common.
i'm pretty much my best friend's go-to, and my boyfriend is crazy about me, so they don't mind that i hang out with them the most. but i just feel like i'm limiting myself and kind of feel like the "weird" one for having such little friends.
one bitch, who is a "friend" of my best friend (my bestie hates her too, but still chills with her wtf), even commented on how i only seem to talk and hang out with her and no one else; implying i was some sort of loser.
am i going about this all wrong? i just want to be normal. i'm 24, if that matters.
>>16917346
>i just want to be normal
bummer. cuz it sounds like whats 'normal' wont make you happy cuz you'll be busy putting up with people you dont like.
so good luck wiht that.
>>16917346
thats how a lot of introverts are
its normal as long as you are okay with it.
>>16917351
well i think it's appealing that she could probably call up a few dozen people she knows so they can play mario kart at her place or something.
or maybe one of them could invite her to somewhere cool and have a good time.
i dunno, she just seems so popular and sociable, which is something i'd like to be. maybe i'm the flawed one?
>>16917365
you either like hanging out with randos or you dont. the point of my post was that you focused on wanting 'to be normal' as opposed to doing what is happy or healthy.
having a limited circle of friends makes you happy. its also healthy (or rather, not unhealthy if you dont mind a double negative).
you could of course work to expand your circle of friends, but still maintain your standards. it would just mean meeting lots and lots of people to compensate for the ones you are going to be kicking to the curb.
im much like you. i like things limited. i wish i could just hangout with my friends but they seem insistent on having these large 8 people gatherings that make me uncomfortable. probably going to get new friends.
>>16917360
well, if i had at least 4 other friends i could hang out with, i think i would be satisfied.
>>16917382
you're right about that; i do prefer quality in friends than quantity. it's just that it's hard to find a good friend for me. i just wonder if i should be more tolerant of people's behaviour. i feel like i'm pretty picky, which is something my best friend would consistently mention.
i guess i should meet more people then...
>>16917396
>i prefer quality in friends than quantity
than go with that.
>its just that its hard to find a good friend for me
yes. like its hard to find good quality anything. but if you prefer quality, thats the sacrifice. do you want to make that sacrifice? are you not fulfilled as is?
>i just wonder if i should be more tolerant of peoples behavior
if you are going to end up hating your life, then no, dont.
>i guessi should meet moer people then
its the best route imo. the more you meet, the more you cross off the list, but every once in a whiel you meet someone bond worthy.
To each their own, OP, but I have a lot of friends, and I love having that network... not every friend has to be someone you see every day, but if you can build that kind of rapport while you're close that means you can pick up where you left off even without a gap, it's awesome.
I have amazing, lifelong friends that I consider to be closer than any family member that I have, even if I can't be around them much. But, with that said, I'm very tolerant, and I always treat people how I'd like to be treated. I can count on one hand the people that dislike me, and most people have a high opinion of me that they echo to others.
I don't really care about the general opinion of me as long as I have people I can trust and enjoy... the rest will beget itself.
Good luck!
