If I embrace my weakness I will never get a woman or it will be hard and I'll end up "cucked" because I can't provide what a woman seeks (although I do have a big dik). Women want an active man who can protect them, lead, get stuff done, etc. I would have to be with a guy who likes me. Well I could probably be happy in a relationship with a man (I'm bi but prefer women), but a gay relationship is so foreign and I couldn't handle the stigmas. I was raised by conservative Christians and I hold those traditional values myself. I want to fill the role of man of the house, have a family, etc.

So I'm leaning toward working to be more manly. This will take A LOT of money, time, and effort. I'd be more content with myself fulfilling the traditional roles of a man. I'd make myself and my family proud and wouldn't be ashamed of myself in public. My worry is it will all be in vain. As my dad has aged he has become less manly and more of a weak, insecure, "cuck" type. I feel like that's his true self and he used to just try to hide it. What if in spite of all my efforts, being a feminine beta male is just what I'm meant to be? Then I would be best off working toward embracing it, and instead of wasting my time trying to become the man I was never meant to be, I could redirect those fruitless efforts to more meaningful pursuits.

This whole conundrum may seem silly but it's a very serious, life-changing decision. Do I try to "be myself" even if that means no women will ever love me? Or is it impossible to change who I am anyway?