A quick question. What does it mean when a guy says he sees you as a sister? It's pretty obvious to me but I just want to be sure.
I'll also ask what does it mean when a guy constantly mentions his girlfriend to you?
You're being friendzoned.
>>16916301
How do I save my honor from this embarrassing situation? Do I just disappear without saying anything? A rejected woman is 100 times worse than a rejected man and I don't want to make him feel important and I'm scared that he tells everyone that I wanted him and he friendzoned me.
So how do I disappear without him thinking stuff? I never confessed myself to him by the way but he still said stuff like this and I feel humilliated.
>>16916315
Here's an idea.
Get a dude to stand in as your boyfriend and ask the guy and his girlfriend out on a double date. That will communicate that you feel the same way about him without saying it directly. If he and his girlfriend happen to accept, cancel and lie about some shit that came up. Don't reschedule.
>>16916322
Maybe I'll try that. I just feel embarrassed as fuck and don't want him to think stuff or spread things about me. I'm shy as fuck so something like this would kill me.
It's not the first time that something like this happens.
When I was a young teenager, I was friends with this guy. I had never had a boyfriend and most guys were assholes so I started kind of liking this guy. But he never made a move and then once he said he viewed me as a sister and it was horrible. This friendship lasted a couple of years. Many guys online say only women friendzone but it's a lie since I've had it happen to me.
This new guy was just someone I met not long ago and we talked once in a while as acquaintances. But the guy mentioned his girlfriend 100 times and threw the sister card at me ( I have a trauma with this shit by now) I don't even like this guy but he made it very akward and I'm pissed off and worried about him spreading stuff.
Lastly, I'd like to ask: why do some guys friendzone? I mean, you say you are so upfront about stuff and then you do this... of course I never confessed to that guy and most women probably don't confess either but still why do you do this? Also, when do guys decide to friendzone? Is it all about looks or are there other factors? I feel so embarrassed and sad.
>>16916315
> A rejected woman is 100 times worse than a rejected man and I don't want to make him feel important and I'm scared that he tells everyone that I wanted him and he friendzoned me.
It's the same you moron.
>>16916315
>A rejected woman is 100 times worse than a rejected man
Yes, we are steel robots that only want to fuck and if we get rejected with just meh and ask the next person.
>>16916315
>How do I save my honor
Challenge his gf to hand-to-hand combat. To the death of course, unless you want to spare her life and make her forever indebted to you.
>Do I just disappear without saying anything?
In all seriousness, yeah, fading out of his life is probably the best thing unless you can deal with being only a friend.
>A rejected woman is 100 times worse than a rejected man
Where did you hear this? Worse in what way?
>>16916353
>why do some guys friendzone?
Same reason girls do: they either don't want to hurt your feelings, they like having orbiters, or they do enjoy your company but the romantic feelings just aren't there. Or in the case of this guy, they're already taken. If a person is already in a relationship, they're probably not going to leave it unless it's going really poorly. In any case, don't expect someone to leave their partner for you.
>>16916353
>why do some guys friendzone?
Because he thought you less gf/wifeworthy than whoever the other girl is. Trust me, he considered it. If he didn't use you for sex consider yourself lucky.
>>16916357
>>16916359
Well, after years on the internet, it seems most straight men want anything with a vagina, so it makes me feel really unattractive to be friendzoned.
Then there are those guys that hit on every woman and eventually they get one to date them so they deal with rejection often.
I don't have many friends but the ones I have never hit on guys, at least directly, they drop hints but it's different.
Because of all these reasons and more, I say that a rejected woman is 100x worse than a rejected man.
>>16916367
I don't like this second guy, I didn't even know him well but he made it very akward. I just want to disappear but not in a strange way. I'm scared that he thinks I disappeared because I felt rejected and I couldn't take it anymore or something like that.
>>16916370
What about the first guy? He didn't have a girlfriend, yet he still didn't want me. Why? We were very young but still.
>>16916299
>a guy says he sees you as a sister?
Basically that you're friendzoned.
>a guy constantly mentions his girlfriend to you?
Depends on the guy and your relationship with him.
If you're his ex then he might just want to inform you that he's over you and excited about his new relationship. Alternatively he's one of those dicks who use women to make their ex jealous because he still has feelings towards you.
If you're just his acquaintance and he's not all that experienced with relationships it's likely that he's just overly excited and can't stop talking about it. Alternatively he was actually interested in you and possibly even asked you out, but now unconsciously wants you to keep your distance.
as for the latter we men are actually very capable to monogamous behavior especially early in the relationships when our heads are full of oxytocin from all the cuddling.
I tell girls that they're like a sister to me for clarification when I'm expressing affection. It's the equivalent of 'I love you, no-homo' between men.
>>16916436
I have PTSD from this sister thing by now. I'm not a very social person IRL, now I'm even more scared of talking to men. They might friendzone me wether I like them or not... and I must look like a monster..
>>16916315
welcome to the typical life of your average man.
>>16916315
If you haven't confessed or asked him out there's very little to be feared from this. It's likely that he just misread your signals at some point and started to consider if you have feelings towards him. Then used this odd indirect way to tell you that he's not interested so that you don't get your hopes up. It'll just get very awkward for him if he starts to brag about how he friend-zoned you and it turns out you never said anything to him.
Guys and girls can't really never be just friends and the fact you're asking questions like this alone proves that there's some sexual tension between you two.
>>16916452
"friend-zoning" is really just clarifying a relationship, either to avoid hurt feelings down the road or to allow you to express the love that you feel for a friend without your feelings being misconstrued as romantic love. It is something that happens between friends, and having friends shouldn't be stressful.
>>16916492
My self esteem keeps getting lower.
>>16916501
I see. I think I won't talk to guys anymore. I'll just talk to them if they really insist and I'll avoid continuing the talk.
I don't want to be humilliated again, enough is enough
Can you clarify your last sentence? I'm sure you aren't interested in all women in the world. But you say guys and girls can't be friends. So even if you aren't interested and she isn't interested in you, you couldn't be friends?
>I don't want to be humilliated again, enough is enough
What the fuck, he didn't even reject you and you feel humiliated? God damn.
>>16916580
He told me I was like a sister to him. That's not rejecting? And I didn't even go for him. This only shows how scared he was of me confessing to him so he said what he said to clarify things as soon as possible. This wasn't the first time something like this happened to me so I'm sad, angry and traumatized.
By the way, I didn't know this guy well. If we were great friends, I could understand the sister thing but in this case it makes no sense. It was an embarrassing friendzone. Sometimes I think that I'm the unluckiest woman in the world. Some things only happen to me. I think I was cursed.
>>16916611
You sound bipolar, you are making mountains out of molehills.
Is this literally the most devastating thing that happened to you in your life? You should be happy if that's the case.
>>16916623
Who would have guessed that in 4chan, of all places that a professional would be diagnosing psychological disorders from a few lines of text
>>16916623
I'm very shy so the feeling of shame is horrific for me. And then on the internet, men keep saying that they don't have high requirements and any woman is fine and stuff like that so I start feeling that something is seriously wrong with me to get rejected like this. I don't think I'm the best but I also don't think I'm the worst. What if someone friendzones me again? I can't take this.
>>16916642
Well maybe it's because you're ugly
>>16916642
...The guy was taken.
Do you expect every man who has a gf to drop theirs for you?
How would you feel if you had a bf and a girl was approaching him, you wouldnt want him to leave you for her would you? That's loyalty and it is a very respectable trait.
You really shouldn't be so mad about it.
>>16916642
>taking anything on the internet safety
Yea there's something wrong with you hun
>>16916657
But I already said that I didn't want this guy. I wanted the first one when I was younger.
We were just pretty much acquaintances and he said those things.. like you have no idea how many times he mentioned his girlfriend. Once would have been enough if I was into him and wanted him! He insisted in mentioning her in almost every topic. It was peculiar. And then he used the sister finisher which I detest. He mentioned his girlfriend so much that I think that he wanted me to ask stuff about her or something. I don't know.. it's weird.
>>16916532
>So even if you aren't interested and she isn't interested in you, you couldn't be friends?
I never said guys and girls can't be friends, in fact they can be very good friends but they can't be "just friends". But there will always be these conscious and subconscious thoughts about how he/she actually feels about you and whether the things he/she does or says have hidden meanings behind them. There's also always a chance for feelings and attraction to develop on later time, for example one of you might have dreams about having sex with each other which might cause actual attraction to suddenly surface.
We can however choose not to act on our most primal desires and simply keep things as they are.
You've not been humiliated nor have you been really rejected so don't think too much about it. Maybe he thinks you're way beyond his league and simply doesn't have the balls to date someone like you, maybe he's already seeing someone in secret or is in a LDR and is uncomfortable with other women approaching him in any way, maybe he's actually gay but not too open about it, or maybe you just look too much like his sister and it feels awkward for him. I actually have few female friends who look sexually attractive but who I'd friend-zone in a heartbeat if it ever came to that, just because they are too different from me and I just don't find them interesting enough to date.
>>16916692
After hearing that I think he had/has a crush towards you and now that he's in a relationship with another girl he feels emotionally confused and uncomfortable around you and subconsciously tries to prove himself that by burning bridges and closing doors behind him.
>>16916703
Thanks for making me feel a bit better. I'm off to bed. I guess your last paragraph was something for me to think about in the future, if something unpleasant happens to me again.
>>16916811
Who knows. I guess I shouldn't take these events so personally. I keep thinking that I'm disgusting and that such stuff only happens to me but it probably isn't like that. Good night.
