Same here.

Can't enjoy anything. I do things I don't want to do and I don't really have a target in my life - day after day I get more tired with being a cynical fuck who just hates everything in this world.

>>16915691
Sucks. Do you feel like you've got depression, or is it something else?

also, bump

>>16915669

>a girl dumped me
>i turned to philosophy to try and understand what was happening to me
>i know thats edgy, but this next part isnt:
>TO BE HAPPY YOU HAVE TO LIVE A LIE
>i dont believe in literal fairytales, SO I LIVE A LIFE WITH NO PURPOSE

maybe try existentialism. the concepts vary, but its essentially boils down to two ideas
>life is inherently meaningless
>nothing is pre determined (we have choice)

therefore, it is our choices that give our lives meaning. when we pretend we dont have any choices, we stop being human and start being 'tools' that an indifferent universe uses to carry out its intricate plan.

>>16915669
People don't typically 'feel' like they have depression. Everyone I've known who has gone through depression basically said, like you:
>I don't know whether I'm depressed or have something else wrong with me.
Your self evaluations and reactions sound like you likely have depression.

As far as I can tell, this looks like you had an existential crisis (that still seems to be going on) and you don't have any good coping mechanisms. You tried philosophy and engraining this "logical" mindset of yours into your life as you
>don't believe in God, patriotism, eternal love, or any of the things that people use to give their lives 'meaning
i.e. the typical coping mechanisms of the human race.

Honestly, it sounds like you (1) need to figure out what you enjoy or what makes you happy and (2) focus on doing that. Stop with the "logical" mindset because it doesn't seem to be doing you any favors. Plus, no one is actually "logical" - humans are emotional beings. In my experience, the ones who label themselves as Mr. Logic are usually the most illogical ones, and they tend to have a poor handle on their emotions.

Hope you enjoyed the armchair psychology, and I hope it helps.

>>16916086
Yeah existentialism is what attracted me most and what I began to explore, and I pretty much accept the core concepts. What I can't accept is that our choices give our lives meaning - for me the opposite is true, the more I try to carefully select my choices so as to give my life meaning, the more they feel meaningless. I've tried all sorts of things, from reckless hedonism on one side to charity work in Africa on the other. Nothing makes me feel connected to anything 'significant' - I will simply live a normal life, die, and no matter how much of an impact I have on those around me, it is very likely that the universe will remember no trace of my existence within a few hundred years. Again I know this sounds edgy, but they're the sort of thoughts I'm genuinely struggling with.

How can I make my choices have meaning when I don't believe in any higher power or purpose?

>>16916133
For me there's a distinction between the things that give me pleasure and the things that really make me happy. Playing sports, hanging out with friends, watching good TV/movies, eating good food - all of these things give me pleasure, and I try to do them as often as possible (sex would probably be included in this category too if I was having any, but I've not met any girl I really relate to since being dumped, and don't want to sleep with someone purely for base pleasure). Nothing I've tried actually makes me 'happy' on that deeper level though. The only exception that I can maybe think of this is working with children - I worked at a camp last summer and loved it, partly because the children have such innocent/naive emotions, they don't overthink their happiness or sadness and just experience it. It gave me a sort of nostalgic feeling that wasn't quite happiness, but wasn't far away. I can try and do more of that sort of thing, but I don't think it's realistic as a career, and I don't think it is enough to make me happy by itself.

>>16916198
Perhaps I phrased myself poorly - I wasn't talking about pursuing fleeting pleasure. It's usually more trouble than it's worth. For me happiness is knowing I have added value and given my life meaning. For me, hanging out with friends, watching TV, etc wouldn't cut it. However, this deeper level of happiness is more likely what I was advising you to go after.

You say that you enjoyed working at a camp. What made that so special for you?

>Nothing makes me feel connected to anything 'significant'
So, assuming anything is possible, what would make you feel connected to something significant?

>no matter how much of an impact I have on those around me, it is very likely that the universe will remember no trace of my existence within a few hundred years
Do you need to be remembered for eternity to be content?

Also, I still don't understand why you don't see making choices as meaningful. If I may assume, I think some of these issues may stem from you not defining your self and your own goals.

>>16916254
>You say that you enjoyed working at a camp. What made that so special for you?

The camp was special because I was able to bring the kids that sort of happiness that's no longer available to me. You just lead some activities, joke around with them, and you're an instant role model who they'll appreciate for years. It was a sort of happysad feeling, giving that to them, but knowing I'm too old to experience it again myself.

In addition to that I was in a beautiful part of the world, and I made a good group of (albeit temporary) friends. I also had a crush on one of my co-workers and we fooled about a little, which surprised me because that hadn't been happening to me at all before that. Overall it was a nice break from everyday life and I enjoyed it, but still didn't feel like I was enjoying it as much as I could have. I still had occasional days where I was in a bad mood and didn't want to talk to anyone.

>So, assuming anything is possible, what would make you feel connected to something significant?

That's the thing, I literally can't envisage any sort of possible scenario where I do feel connected to what I do. I used to be fairly passionate about trying to make a change the world to bring it closer through my ideals (e.g. through charity, politics, or things like that) but now that just doesn't seem to matter anymore. I have this vague dream to just move to a cabin in the middle of the beautiful countryside (as in OP) and live as simple and private a life as possible, but I don't think I'd be happy then either. It makes it difficult to make goals towards when you can't think of anything that would bring you that purpose.

>Do you need to be remembered for eternity to be content?

Not at all, but I think we like to live under the impression that the things we do will have a lasting impact, but in all likelihood they don't. That doesn't distress me, it just makes that feeling of meaningless a bit more salient.

>>16915669
Ow, this hits close to home.
I can't say anything useful to you- I'm a psych undergrad (who's kind of unsatisfied his career).
All I'll say is that my heart goes out to you, for what it's worth.

>>16915669
I am similar, but a worse case (near-total anhedonia, and treatment resistant).
Go to a psychiatrist. They'll probably try SSRIs, then SSRIs with bupropion, then next-line treatments.

If they don't work, then join the club. Another poor fucker waiting for a proper fix.
Thankfully, the pharma industry is highly motivated and I'd expect reasonable treatments well within our lifetimes, so suicide would be premature.

>>16916086
Existentialism is not remotely helpful in this situation: the problem with depression is that depressed people are absolutely terrible at the "finding your own meaning" part.

Something more like old Roman stoicism may have more useful messages to offer. Try finding good translations of Cato the Elder, Cicero, Tacitus, etc.

>>16917148
I appreciate the suggestion, but I'm fairly opposed to the use of antidepressants except in cases of severe depression (i.e. severe negative affect), which I don't have. Whatever it is, my problem is clearly psychological and the result of certain beliefs I have about the world. Fooling my brain into thinking its happy isn't going to help me with any of those concerns, and chances are I'd relapse as soon as the course of treatment ended.

I'll look into more stoicism, seeing as that's not something I'm too familiar with. As things stand I actually do live a very stoic life and it doesn't seem to be doing me much good, but hey, who knows.

>>16917210
Good thing to check is whether you still get pleasure (ie basic, animalistic pleasure) from things like eating, drinking, and masturbation/sex (especially orgasm).
If you don't feel anything, you probably won't be able to fix the problem without medication, since the brain no longer produces even a bare minimum response (so you got nothing to work with).
Otherwise, probably won't be necessary.

The old stoicism helps a lot with motivation, limits, etc, especially when it comes to finding meaning in living for others (family, friends, coworkers, dependents, etc) and getting true satisfaction from it.

I haven't gotten as much from neo-stoicism, but one of my friends swears by it. Worth a try too. It's more existential and self-help-ish.

>>16917279
>Good thing to check is whether you still get pleasure (ie basic, animalistic pleasure) from things like eating, drinking, and masturbation/sex (especially orgasm).
>If you don't feel anything, you probably won't be able to fix the problem without medication, since the brain no longer produces even a bare minimum response (so you got nothing to work with).

Biochemist here. This is entirely untrue. It is entirely possible to react this way regardless of the reason for depression (i.e. genetic/biochemical vs environmental/situational). Giving someone pills when they have an environmental issue will not solve the issue, just as dispelling a bad situation will not help someone who has a true biochemical imbalance.

I get that this is 4chan, and I don't really expect people to get many medical things right, but please don't go telling someone to use psychotropics when you have no idea what you're talking about.

OP, I agree with you in your choice to not start psychotropics. Based on the issues you have presented here, I don't think they would help you. Or, at least, the results wouldn't help you long term. If you resolve your internal conflicts and still feel depressed, then it might be good to try psychotropics.

>>16915669
I ask my self that most of the time. If thoughts of depression is getting in the way of your life, that's likely a sign of depression.

>>16917148
Epicurus saved my life. The problem with the classics is that they are very easy to misinterpret. But I agree with this anon, OP! Read the classics. If something has stood the test of time, it is less likely than a newer method to be beneficial, or at least not harmful.

>>16918604
What exactly about Epicurus saved your life? Which of his arguments did you find so powerful?