I haven't seen it work out with exes before but maybe someone else has. I don't think there's a lot of luck with something like that.

Lol absolutely not. A new start for you.

>>16915574
>Am I being stupid?

Yes.

> is this whole thing just fucked, and should I bail out now?

Yes.

This whole thing was fucked from the start--or rather, from your end as a couple--and trying to be friends would never work out.

Closure is a myth.

Get out, move on, live your life. That is how you get "closure". Not by scrambling to try to find a why--you will never get one and it will just keep sucking you back in.

>>16915574
It depends how much you want to be friends and only friends.

Guy sounds like a dick though.

My ex and I are friends. We didn't have this situation at all, though, it was a mutual thing because long distance got too complicated for us.

>>16915574
>He still wants to be friends because, well, I'm a good friend.
No, he wants to keep you in his back pocket in case no one "better" comes along. Do not allow him to do this. If you are a good friend, then he is unworthy of you.

I personally dont keep any of my ex's.

However. If you are fine just being his friend and not persuing a relationship with him than go for it.
Sometimes people dont feel the same way. I know ive dated a girl because she was into me but the more I spent time with her the less I wanted her as a gf.
If u didnt like a guy would you just date him because he liked you?
Relationship s are two way streets and if he isnt feeling it, it wont happen, no matter how hard you try.

>>16916754

I don't plan on ever getting into a relationship with him again. I do still love him, but I refuse to go through that again. It's just not fair. But that's life.

>>16916785
Regardless of what he says, I think the distance was kind of a problem. We were only several hours apart, but it's understandable if that's the case. I'm not a completely unreasonable person. I wish he'd have talked to me, or told me what the problem was before shitting on me. I wish he would tell me NOW why he fell out of love with me. It still would have sucked, but it would have never have been like this.

>>16915574

Most people can't be friends with their ex. Too much hurt. You can't be friends with him.

You obviously weren't that tight to begin with, you just thought you were. A lot of people delude themselves as to the strength of their relationship. You're one of them.

If you look back, you should be able to clearly see you two aren't right for each other.

Cut contact dummy

>>16917095

I try anon, really, but I don't see it. He made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered, and I did everything to make sure he knew that I thought the world of him, too.

>>16917252

I thought of that about a week ago, actually, I didn't think that I could be his friend. I thought I was just being selfish, but maybe that's the only shred of sanity I've had all through this.

>>16915574
Well OP first of all stop thinking this is a friendship, it isn't.... it's the remnants of your love for him that you're forcing into the mold of friendship.

You're angry and frustrated and disillusioned with him. You don't want or need friendship.... you need closure but can't accept 'just because'

Unfortunately relationships end 'just because' they do. People change, gain experience and find they want something you can't be/give/accept/deliver. So it ends for no particular reason however more often than not a guy ends a relationship when he has someone else lined up.

My guess he's saying 'just because' because he's fucking one of your friends and they don't want you to know.

>>16917980
No, we don't have the same friends, like at all. There's really no way that could happen. I thought he was screwing the girl he was into, but apparently he wasn't. I know people lie, but at this point I know how arrogant he is. He would probably have let me know by now.

I just don't want to lose the person I fell in love with. I think I know what I need to do, I just don't know if I can do it.

Thanks for the... Well, very one-directional support. It's given me a lot to think about.

>>16918041
>I just don't want to lose the person I fell in love with.
And this is the rough part, you already did. He isn't that person, and it sounds like he actually never was. He wants to keep you as a beta orbiter, doesn't care about your feelings, and was just dating you because he couldn't date someone else. When things got rough, he opted out, which was very easy for him since the relationship was just out of convenience.

That is the person you're pining over. Not the "love of your life" or anything. Someone who pretended to be because it suited him.

Move on OP.

You deserve much better.

People fall out of love. They develop, they grow. It sucks for both sides, but probably more for the person in your position. The thing is, his "just because" is probably a set of various reasons, all of which are too insurmountable or trivial to really fix, but as a sum of their parts, is enough to see that the relationship just isn't right. He's smart enough to know that "working to fix it" isn't a good use of anyone's time. You're going to be given false hope, he's just going to feel more guilty for giving you things to work on when really he isn't sure what actually matters the most. He could just like the other person that much.

That was the case for me, anyways. I know, anecdotal, but valid, I feel.

It doesn't sound like you're ready to continue a relationship or friendship with this guy. Go your separate ways for a while and reevaluate down the line if you two can peacefully coexist without unrequited feelings.

Good luck.