About a year ago my best friend , gf, and I decided to rent a house together. All went pretty well at first. We all hung out together and played games and stuff good times. My gf was preggo when we started renting but we soon ran into complications. We ended up losing our child fairly late into the pregancy(well past a miscarriage ) and were totally devastated. When i told him he really didn't say anything and since then has been really distant. Then a few months ago my brother past away and it was the same thing. "Sorry man i don't really know what to say to stuff like this" is about all i get out of him and that's only when I'm telling him for the first time that either my son is dead or my brother. I used to think he was my best friend, i have known him for like 18 years, but i don't know what to think now. Tragedy happened to me so i lose my best friend. How does that work?
That doesn't sound like a fairweather friend. It sounds like someone who is really uncomfortable around and unequipped to deal with personal tragedies. He's either not had a lot of them in the past or has experienced way too many. Either way, the last impression that I'd get is that this is personal.
>>16915194
That's my thoughts too. I don't think he has a grudge against us but either way i feel like I'm getting punished for having a shitty horrible year. I mean if he cared he could Google how to help your friend through tragedy.
>>16915194
This. I'm exactly the same as your friend. I feel for you, truly, but I'm not equipped to express it. Lost my best friend in college when his girlfriend died tragically and I tried to give him space while I took up doing all the house chores and his class work. I just didn't know how to verbally comfort him and we drifted apart because of it.
>>16915208
Dam man i understand where you are coming from but you totally left him hanging. How can you really call yourself his friend and to me that sounds like the definition of a fairweather friend. Have toy tried reaching out to him and at least explain why you couldn't be there for him?
Bamp
>>16915191
Some people don't have a natural reaction to death in the slightest. I literally don't care at all because it's a constant outcome of life. I also can't be arsed to fake emotions for the benefit of others. If you want a shoulder to cry on go see a shrink.
>>16915992
Is this the definition of sociopath? I don't want advise from a crazy person, you sound crazy. You also don't seem to know what friends are.
>>16915191
did he hug you?
>>16915202
all google will really say is 'be there for them' and shit like that. for all you know he DID google it and its vague fucking advice.
did he hug you?
>>16916001
no. a sociopath cannot feel emotions. this person (edgy as he is) is just stating that someone doesn't have to go through the motions of being miserable just because you are.
but were not there. i mean this guy cant just stop living his life becuase you are sad. you had a great tragedy. but he lost nothing. at all. his life is exactly the same. more so because you lost the baby than if you hadn't.
hes clearly sympathetic if he says 'hes not sure what to say'. if he didnt care at all he'd just play it casual, but he addressed it the only way he knew how: with 100% brutal honesty. he isn't sure how to fix you. probably because he can't.
did he hug you?
>>16916023
Of course not.
Guess i expected too much from my best friend. I feel like effort could have been made but i guess I'm just meant to deal with it alone or with my rifle.
