So I'm seeing this virgin girl, and our slow step into a sexual relationship has been disastrous. She doesn't want to have sex yet which I respect because she wants to wait until we're in a stable relationship (currently we're temporarily long distance until 2 months), so we just fool around a bit
But she is very frigid, i'll start slowly with foreplay and she'll get wet, but then will pull my hand away at some point as I start to finger her and I'm back to square one. Then i'll give it several minutes and she'll let me touch her again, then the same thing will happen. She'll then end up putting her top back on and even wears pyjamas in bed
Some times she's got very horny (more when she's drunk) and has let go to any resistance temporarily but then she'll suddenly close up again and pull my hands away
It's fucking frustrating and feels like we're taking one step forward then 2 steps backward, it's got to the point where I quiz her about it and she just jokes about it
I never push her into doing anything she doesn't want to, and always put her at ease, but it seems so hard to get her into it and she just fights the urge, should I just not initiate anything next time - am i being overly pushy?
>>16913092
Be more dominant about it. If you're getting in the moment and fingering her, just pull down her underwear and start eating her out or fingering her more.
If she says "no" in a very serious matter and is really trying to push you off, stop what you're doing.
If she seems into it, but a little resistant, keep going. She'll probably get into it also.
>>16913092
You're being pushy. Talk to her about it in a non-sexual situation, ask if anything's wrong, or if she doesn't like it. It sounds like she doesn't want to do stuff with you but lets you because she feels pressured and then stops it before it goes too far. Let her take the lead because what you're doing obviously isn't working.
>>16913118
seriously do not do this
>>16913120
Well i get mixed signals, sometimes she has got really into it and wants me to continue and is enjoying it, but then will just stop me all of a sudden.
I've realized i am way too persistent sometimes though when she's stopped me, which I need to avoid
I guess it's just a case of her not wanting to go too far until she's ready
>>16913161
The mixed signals thing is weird but you won't really find out what she wants until you talk to her about it.
Agreed, you need to avoid being persistent because she'll end up not trusting you and you'll create a weird and unhealthy dynamic where you're forcing her into doing stuff she doesn't want.
Definitely just talk like adults about it, I'd suggest not initiating anything sexual for a while and spend more time getting to know her and connecting with her as a person. Once you do that you'll then be able to understand her wants and needs and gauge when it's appropriate to do anything sexual. For now leave that up to her though.
