Whenever I'm around new people, I'm shy and need some time. I'm trying to improve this, but every guide on the internet assumes I'm anxious. The reality is that my mind is just a blank and I can't think of anything to say or do.
How do I fix that?
Practice, practice, practice.
You are probably insecure, but I agree with first post. You'll learn from taking action.
>>16910790
But wouldn't insecurity express itself in knowing what to do, but not doing it because you're scared of what they might think of you?
>>16910775
just talk about random shit that relates to the people you are with. most people literally talk about none interesting shit. for example, if you are in uni, mention a lecture or something.
>>16910775
Listen, nod, throw in the occasional "right!"or "Yeah" and you'll be seen as part of the conversation while your mind is getting in gear.
>>16910842
Maybe you arent insecure.
Youre mind goes blank? Maybe you are numbing yourself to the day, going auto pilot as I call it.
Thats your fault, you need to be awake when opportunities come your way. If you really have nothing to say you need to work on that.
I think speaking your mind is best even if you dont think anyone is thinking the same way or if you say something dumb, theres no front you need to put up. You can come off autistic, but its better than not trying and you learn from the experience. People just want to call you good people or even better good company.
>>16910775
This happens to me to and I hate it. It's not like I'm holding back things to say, my mind is just blanking.
>>16910865
Then I've been on autopilot my whole life, doesn't seem likely either.
I pretty much always speak my mind, but when there's nothing on your mind it's a bit difficult to do so eh.
>>16910848
Nah doesn't work like that, especially not when you aren't in a group.
>>16910845
but no random subjects come to mind, just nothing
>>16910775
is there a lack of mental stimulus in your everyday life?
do you read much? watch the news? follow world affairs and current events? do you have any hobbies? taking an active interest in sth. can help you be more communicative, as you'll have more of an impetus to bring it up in a conversation with someone.
>>16912019
I read a lot, but barely watch the news. I play vidya, work out, play some instruments, go hiking, go to work, etc.
there's books on how to improve small talk. try those.
>>16910936
The only I ever really became talkative was in a debate of some sorts or spouting off trivia as knowledge.
Rest of the time I'm just silent despite being desperate to talk to someone cause I have fuck all to say.
Try copying other people.
See what they say in conversations and just use them in other conversations of yours.
Eventually you'll get the hang of it and you won't actually be thinking of what to say, you'll be just copying other people to get it started.
>>16910775
Ain't nothing wrong with you, like you said you're just a bit shy. Like everyone else says, just practice talking to new people every now and again while your with people you know. If you're With a bunch of people that you aint shy with while talking to a new person, you'll find it's a lot easier to come up with conversation
