Brother
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Ok, Im a little brother. My big bro is seven years older than me and is distress. I want to know what I can do to be a better brother. He has started to drink more and more. I understand this slipper slope he is going in. What steps can I take to strengthen a bond with him to show him that I care. I'm not the creative type and I don't know how to connect with someone feeling wise. Please, anyone that has brothers, can you help me out?
Any bros please.
>>16910480
How old are you?
>>16910480
My brother is a nutjob who assaulted my sister. Sorry can't help ya out
Well, i need some more info. How old is he? Do you life together? Why is he so miserable?
>>16910598
Sorry, just saw you said seven years older in the op
I'll try to see what I can give.
I am the older bro, my younger brother is 6 years my junior.
I have veen dealing with some shit and I too became an alcoholic.
My brother just showed sympathy and pretty much expressed that je wamted to help. It's hard to hear the voices of those that care when you dig your hole deep enough.
Show concern and make him feel like he can trust you. Hopefully he will be willing to talk to you, vent a little. If you guys play games, ask if you can play shit together. Go out and and eat, or do stuff.
My bro and I have a sushi place that we frequent together every other weekend.
Eventually, if you can get him some help if he needs professionals and such.
>>16910604
Thanks for this. We like to get sushi. I think I'll treat him.
>>16910604
Same here. Older sister and had severe depression. I actually felt guilty cause me being miserable made my sister very sad. We have a very close bond so we had some "existential conversations". She also asked how i'm doing frequently and it was nice to be able to answer truthfully to that question. We went for some ladies night and that was uplifting too. She also tried to help me when it was possible, i really aprecciated that. The thing that made her sad the most was that i had to get an abortion for medical reasons (i got pregnant despite having an iud whilst on heavy acne medication and the baby would have been a still birth or died shortly after birth so my docs strongly adviced me to end the pregnancy) whilst she was pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby. It was crucial that we talked about that so i could make it clear that i have no problem with her pregnancy and that i'm very happy and excited for her. I really hope my miserable self didn't cast too big of a shadow on this important time in her life. I tried, but it prob wasn't inevitable 100%.
>>16910608
No problem. Shit gets tough out there. I understand how hard it gets when you see your sibling in pain and you have no idea what to do.
To keep it simple. Like with a lot of things in life, a listening ear goes a long way.
Best of luck, little bro.
>>16910612
The burden of the older sibling. It's not them really, but our perception that we, as the elder, have to not weigh them down, that we are supposed to help them.
Sometimes it's the other way around.
They pick up on things, unsurprisingly, as most of the time siblings grow up together and experience similar things.
They too wish to no wiegh us down in return, and that's what is good about having a sibling it works both ways sometimes. They can make some of the best allies yiu can ever ask for in the battle called life.
Glad to hear you have been handing it together. All you can do for now is to be a good aunt.
>>16910614
Big bros/sis always have that empathy. I think older siblings make great teachers.
>>16910629
Yeah, i was always very protective of my younger siblings. But sometimes i couldn't and i felt bad for it. This whole thing has been a year now and i don't even think about it anymore in everyday life. I think we handled it quiet well.
Siblings are a huge blessing. I don't know what i would do without them...
>>16910634
The link is there, but like everything revolving relationships, they require a bit of work and tending to. Siblings are easier though since you share like a basic beginning bond. Sometimes though that's not enough and sadly, you see siblings tear into each other. Then again, like a few of us and probably many more elsewhere, we have an okay relationship that when presented with an event will give the foundation for something great.
As for teachers, agreed. There is much that we experience and want to pass on to them. As it's usually the case, the older had less guidance and it's a bit of an overwhelming life as the one person at the front.
>>16910480
Go on a camping trip with him for a couple of days, go shooting/hunting if that's your thing. We all find it difficult to deal with the questions of our existence and some people like your brother react badly, things like camping (if it's wild camping) basically short circuit the need to worry about such questions and allow the brain breathing space as well as allowing you a chance to bond.
>>16910480
I'm in the older sibling is 7 years older camp, never dealt with the depression of major issues because he never really talked to me about anything, actually he never reached out to me at all unless he knew we were going to see each other soon at family functions and he needed something, if you really want to help BE THERE AND BE SUPPORTIVE, don't be an enabler either if he is having a drinking issue either, I agree with the other anon about going out and doing something together, it'll draw you two closer and should help by letting him know his little bro cares
