Brehs...
I've been with this girl for a year and a half. She's religious and so far has made me wait to have sex with her. She now wants to wait until marriage.
Part of me loves her a lot but part of me kind of really wants sex and I'm pulling my hair out here. I feel like she wants to make sure i can't leave her once we're married and she has sex with me but divorce rate is 50%. i tell her this and she just says "divorce is not an option for me".
I'm not religious but fuck what am i supposed to do here guys. does meditating on this issue sound like a good idea? Do you guys wait for marriage? I'm currently getting /fit/ and I don't know how will be able to just be in good shape getting checked out but staying abstinant for a girl that won't fuck me until I marry her.
Dated a "perfect" girl for 2 years in college. Very catholic, no sexy time. Biggest waste of time in my college career. Dump her, you won't be marrying her either way. Finding out if you're sexually compatible with a woman only after you've already married is also dumb and dangerous.
>>16909535
Get rid of her. Why would you even waste your time with this hole?
>>16909535
Its also proven that the less amount of partners she has the more likely she is to stay faithful.
If you are the type of person to divorce someone over sex than leave her because its a huge deal to you.
Its no so with me.
Jesus fuck, how could you possibly wait that long... You're a fool, dude. I broke up with a girl yesterday because after a month, all I've gotten were blowjobs.
You're not in a real adult relationship unless you've had sex
I grew up religious so this wouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker for me, but everything else about the relationship would need to be bretty darn good. I probably wouldn't end up getting involved with such a religious girl anyway though.
>>16909535
If you aren't teasing her with lewd suggestions every hour of the day then I don't know what you're doing with you're life.
Do you have any interest in becoming religious?
If not the marriage question is ridiculous. All you're going to do is fight over how to raise the kids and they'll grow up learning nothing because - you can't get anything done when you're trying to please 2 bosses at once, right?
Your beliefs on the world are incompatible and you'll hate each other in 10 years. I don't really know how divorce works and if a judge can still order one without the woman's consent, but likely you'd lose the kids in that situation.
Is a lifetime of misery worth popping one cherry?
Do you guys do a lot of coke?
I don't think Christian relationships are based on sex... I think they're based on drugs.
If drugs aren't the primary reason you are with the chick and what you really want is sex, think about someone else with different priorities.
Don;t listen to this retard. >>16909589
Your girl has this thing called Principles. She wants to stay by them and save herself for you. This is the kindest gift you will receive in your life.
However if thats a dealbreaker, then break it off. Simple as that.
If she's really not putting out not even Bjs, that would be hard for me personally.
>>16909583
>Its also proven that the less amount of partners she has the more likely she is to stay faithful.
This is complete and absolute bullshit. Provide a single credible source.
>>16909608
I think OP most likely isn't going to be the right husband for that girl, but difference in religious beliefs isn't so much of a deal breaker as long as you discuss all contingencies at length before you're married.
>>16909716
Im not about to spoon feed you. This is common knowledge. The more sexual partners you have the higher chances you marriage will have infidelity and divorce
n the United States, having had more sexual partners before the first marriage or cohabitation also increases the likelihood of infidelity (Treas and Giesen 2000).
>Individuals who strongly disapprove of extramarital sex are not likely to be unfaithful. The personal discomfort in violating deeply held values discourages infidelity
>http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/Infidelity.aspx
Image source is
>http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x/abstract
No one has time for you to be uneducated and deny common facts.
>>16909732
>Im not about to spoon feed you. This is common knowledge
Oh yeah, I forgot how that works. People make claims and then don't provide evidence because that's spoon feeding. I'm guessing you didn't attend university, right?
>No one has time for you to be uneducated and deny common facts.
So this entire thing was bait then?
>>16909739
Did you really just ignore my evidence in my post. Of course you did. It common knowledge you should no. Im not going to spoon feed you any harder than I did. Enjoy denying facts. Im sure its fun making arguments from uneducated positions.
>>16909535
Leave her, a non-religious person and a religious person cannot get married and have it work out.
Plus she wont put out which is shit too.
This should be yfw
>>16909535
If you need sex for a relationship to work then leave her. Sex is like a bonus
Speaking as a Christian who is devoted to abstinence until marriage myself, you gotta dump her bro. Not only are you not going to be happy, but if you guys can't agree on something as foundational to a person as religion, it's never gonna be a good relationship. Plus, if you want sex and she can't provide that, that's a whole nutha thing.
Also, you said religious, so I don't know if she's a Christian or not, but it's actually against God's word for a Christian to date a non-Christian. Not because yall are anything horrible, but because of this very reason - sex, and intimacy, and quarrels that inevitably come from being "unequally yoked" as the Bible calls it.
Point being, neither of yall can really be happy in this relationship. Might be time to end it. Sorry.
Best of luck though.
For a couple to work properly, they must be in sync. This means they must be in sync with their thoughts (this implies communicating properly - doesn't mean you must think the same all the time!), their feelings (there has to be a balance, one cannot give more than the other or feel more), their projects (similar life projects and views), and of course, their sexuality and how they want to create new things, including life.
If you cannot agree on at least one of these things, the whole relationship will suffer greatly. You have the option to talk it over with her, but given she is already close with her views... Quite honestly, your best bet is to dump her. This situation will not get better. You are already suffering not only in sex but in world views and concepts, and that's a double issue already. I'm sorry bro... Try looking for someone who can actually agree with your views.
>>16909770
>Sex is like a bonus
Beg to disagree here. Sex, or at least the agreement on sexuality, is extremely important. It not only matters if both are okay with having or not having sex, but also how in sync they are in bed. A couple is not made from feelings alone, or having a couple who you can match with would be so easy!
>>16909777
Pretty much this. You shouldn't be with someone or even consider marrying them unless your core values align. Religion is absolutely core to many people, and it sounds like your gf is no exception.
>>16909777
This dude understands the religious mindset, is able to sympathize with the non religious mindset and got 777 trips. Listen to him.
>>16909830
If you use sex as a determining factor for a relationship its not really syncing. Oh I was in a fire and now youre not sexually arousing anymore. Guess were not compatible. You arent syncing with the actual person. Sex is just a bonus on top of the emotional connection.
>>16909853
If sexuality for you is only about how the other person looks to you and how fuckable or unfuckable they are, then there is something inherently wrong with the way you perceive sex.
>>16909861
Its not, but sex is a physical thing and that is not who that person is. You arent in love with the person.
>>16909853
>Woman with low sex drive spotted
Sex isn't a cherry on top, sex is an indicator of the health of your relationship and your commitment for each other. Sex is scientifically proven to enhance and strengthen the bond. It's called Oxytocin, look it up. Most men need sex like a plant needs watering.
If ops girl is a virgin then she has an excuse, but once you're giving it up, you'd better keep it steady, because a man who can't even get his own woman to satisfy him cannot go out into the world to seek his fortune with his head held high.
>>16909893
>Sex is a physical thing
No it's not. Sex is a far deeper thing, you are mixing your souls together to make something completely new, despite if you're protected or not. It's the coming together of the masculine and the feminine, and it inherently connects both in a very deep level.
>>16909898
Im a man who is abstinent after his fiance died. So I know what I want from the next woman.
Having sex vs needing amazing sex are 2 different things. Sex is just a bonus.
>>16909906
>you are mixing your souls together to make something completely new
One this is bullshit and the amount of casual sex that is had proves this. Two you can do this with anything. You choose to do this with sex which is fine. But that isnt correlated to the act of sex itself but the emotions you charge sex with and so sex with the person you love should be adequate itself based off those emotions alone. Three you are going to ignore point two.
>>16909907
I didn't make any assertions about how "good" the sex needs to be. Go ahead and get into a sexless relationship and you will be pulling your hair out in a year and a half, unless you have a low sex drive for a guy.
Sex is not a bonus, it's a foundational piece of a LOVING relationship. Two people can stay to get her for the end of time out of obligation and fondness, but for a true connection, you have GOT to get down.
Oxytocin, motherfucker.
I have seen a LOT of marriages fail. A LOT. One thing that pops up over and over again
>we haven't had sex in X months.
>>16909913
>One this is bullshit and the amount of casual sex that is had proves this.
Epic. Do you know that friends with benefits never truly stay like that? If you personally detach your feelings from sex itself then there's something REALLY wrong with you. You probably see sex as something frivolous and forget the depth it has.
>Two you can do this with anything.
Yes, and?
>But that isnt correlated to the act of sex itself but the emotions you charge sex with and so sex with the person you love should be adequate itself based off those emotions alone
Explain yourself better.
>Three you are going to ignore point two.
Oh, so now people predict my behaviors based on nothing? Okay I guess.
rape is a good choice
>>16909777
I agree bro.
This is why this very reason I'd rather date a Muslim boy than an Atheist/Agnostic boy.
Op what the fuck are you doing. There isn't a single pussy out there worth waiting for more than a month
>>16909920
You only think sex is a foundational piece if you havent gone prolong periods of time without it. Not havent sex can be a sign of problems in the relationship. The marriage doesnt fail because they arent having sex in a few months. But that logic marriages would fail when the woman was recovering from birth.
The point being that if you need sex in order to determine if you are going to marry someone your priorities are screwed. Its not like OP isnt ever going to have sex with the chick.
>>16909925
>Do you know that friends with benefits never truly stay like that
That has nothing to do with the fact that you are wrong about the act of sex. You can make it special or it can be unimportant. Other conjectures you made there arent worth a reply.
>Yes, and?
It validates that its not sex but the connection with the people
>Explain yourself better.
self explanatory. If you want more you have to say what you need explaining exactly.
>so now people predict my behaviors based on nothing?
I wouldnt have been right if I was basing it on nothing.
>>16910064
I've gone plenty without it. I was married to a soldier. I regularly went 1-12 months without sex. When you have to do something when you do it. barring physical and health barriers, if you're not boning enough to keep each other satisfied, you've got a problem. If one person is not satisfied in a relationship, that is a PROBLEM.
>>16910114
>if you're not boning enough to keep each other satisfied, you've got a problem.
Yeah, major problem you cant deal with your husband in the military right. No thats just you being superficial.
>>16910168
Your post is incomprehensible.
