I'm a 24 year old woman working at a Day-care, and one of the dads looks like he's checking me out and I feel uncomfortable about it, especially because:
A) I'm pretty sure I've seen him around with his wife.
B) I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend who has just recently proposed to me.
Could you help me think of a way to get him to stop?
And maybe people in general, I feel uncomfortable when people, man or woman, check me out. Except my fiance, of course, but still.
2/10 for making me reply.
Won't stop others from posting in a bait thread though.
>>16905016
No seriously, I'm really feeling uncomfortable when the guy comes around.
>>16905027
Shoot him then and claim it was self-defense
>>16905037
I'd rather not resort to that unless I had to, it's just that people "checking me out" makes me feel really uncomfortable, and I'd like to get him to stop, at least.
Maybe I could tell his wife(?) the next time she comes around?
OP, this is something I myself have been working to overcome within the last few years.
>27 yo female here
>sexually abused as a child from age 3-12
>mother pounded into my skull: all men are pigs, they're always dissatisfied, and when they look at other women it's a reflection of their true nature which is of sexual deviancYYYYY (queue: firey eyes)
Mind you, this is something I have a better grip on these days, though do still struggle with. However, I will attempt to communicate how I've overcome this thus far;
First, I admitted to myself: I will never be able to control what somebody else does. The actions people take are a result of their own choosing (with obvious & not-so-obvious exceptions).
Second, if a man is looking at me (even excessively) he is still only looking at me. He is not touching me. He is not doing anything more than looking. This may make me uncomfortable. I have felt quite uncomfortable in many situations similar to the one you described...feeling slimy for somebody /else/ looking at me.../especially/ if they clearly have an SO. I have wondered in such situations: 'are they dissatisfied with their partners...?'
But,
I realize I look at other people. I /like/ looking at other people. My looking at others is nothing more than looking. I am not intending to do anything to these people nor with these people. I am not looking at others because I am dissatisfied with my partner...I'm simply looking because I like what I'm seeing. I also look at pretty sunsets, cute puppies, plants I find aesthetically pleasing, art pieces that draw my eye...I do not wish to gouge my eyes out, and if I see something I like I'll probably look longer. I usually don't stare, and it's weird when people do, but that just makes them weird people (which is kind of nice to be able to learn about someone from a surface act...you can write them off as a person without investing too much time).
ctd....
>>16905167
ctd
I like giving advice to troll bait.
>>16905012
> Lesbian raising kids
Oh god The Trumpening can't come fast enough.
>>16905167
All of what I said in pt 1 of this stems from assumptions. I have a tendency to project my perceptions on other people...which is something I am working to overcome.
I don't know why people look at me. I don't know why a lot of people do most things that they do. I will /never/ know most of the reasons why people do most of the things that they do.
Letting go of this is so fucking difficult, but such a fucking relief.
'Maybe a lot of things.'
Maybe that guy is staring at me because he likes the way I look, maybe he likes my butt in particular (hey, it's a nice butt), maybe I have something on my face, maybe there's someone behind me that he's looking at, maybe I remind him of someone,,,maybe a lot of things.
You may think this man is being creepy, but that's your subjective perception. If you want to treat him differently, go for it. If what you perceive his actions to be makes you so terribly uncomfortable, you really only have one logical (i.e. sane) option: ignore it, ignore him, be professionally nice, and separate yourself from him otherwise.
You do not owe him anything. You do not owe his wife anything. You do not know their situation (they could be poly for fuck's sake, and she may very well know that he fancies you). So interjecting yourself into their lives is, well, a wee bit silly.
You owe it to yourself to let this go, be the bigger person.
However, if you think the situation is too much to bear, you could always find a different job.
>>16905062
He's literally just looking at you. He's done nothing wrong. At this point, it doesn't merit a response. Telling his wife would be way overkill.
I mean, come on. We live in a free society here. You don't get to command people not to look at you. If he actually makes advances, it's another story, but that hasn't happened
>>16905179
What do you imagine Trump is going to do about the lesbians?
>>16905197
Declare open season so the Imperial Death Squads can start cleansing the filth
>>16905167
>>16905189
>>16905194
You know what, you're probably right and it's just nothing, and I'm probably overreacting. I'm just going to try and calm down a bit, I've been having some anxiety problems and I've got a doctor's appointment to get it checked out soon, I think that might be the root of it.
>>16905012
>oh no a man is receiving photons bouncing off my body
just fucking stop. take your first world non issues to reddit or something
>>16905062
>Maybe I could tell his wife(?) the next time she comes around?
>Maybe I could stir up trouble in a complete stranger's marriage because I'm a narcissistic psycho and I assume any man who looks at me would break the law just for a chance at my glorious body
>>16905206
It's easy to become anxious & worry excessively, as our minds are continually attempting to make sense of the world around. We as humans just want to understand things, and often times this results in us telling ourselves stories.
We are filters, and we will never know the whole picture. That's what makes life interesting: the sponteneity of it all.
If you haven't ever done so, maybe look into mindfulness meditation. Honestly, 'The Way of Zen' by Alan Watts has helped me understand mindfulness in a great way. Though Sam Harris also has a lot of good stuff (TED talks, books, and guest-starring on various podcasts).
Good luck OP, I know that feel.
Ogling is a faux pas. In society if we have problems with the improper behavior of others we call them out on it.
However uncomfortable it makes you, this doesn't exceed the scope of a social issue. There's nothing more you can reasonable do to "get him to stop."
>>16905012
Jesus are you twelve?
Tell your boss. Secretly record the conversation in case you get fired so you can at least destroy him/her via the media.
>>16905250
>this doesn't exceed the scope of a social issue.
go on...
>>16905264
It's not like he's a rapist or even necessarily like he's actually trying to cheat on his wife. It's more like he's picking his nose in public like he doesn't know people can see him.
>>16905250
>>16905274
Are you the same person? If yes, do you understand you are contradicting yourself??
>>16905062
>people checking me out makes me uncomfortable
That's your fucking problem. Welcome to living in a free society.
>>16905206
>I have anxiety problems
>I overreact
>my first instinct is that HE'S the one doing something wrong
yeeeesh
Was going to post this, because obvs bait is obvs, but then I saw >>16905206 and remembered all the problems I had when my anxiety was running rampant.
>Still posting the pic, this is still possible bait.
