Ok, femanon in first year of uni and a lot of things have been pointing to the fact that I'm actually being stalked, but I don't know what to do about the situation, things that point to the conclusion that I'm being stalked:
1st incident
>lose wallet day before going to a movie
>two days after movie get message from campus security
>someone found wallet and gave their info
>text them
>say they will bring wallet back, that they found it *that* morning at a bus stop
>wat.
>give them my address since they said they'll just deliver it to me (nice)
>leave wallet in plastic bad attached to mailbox
This alone does not make me think someone's stalking me, it's just supporting evidence to what happened later as this unknown person now has all my contact info available in my wallet
>walking home in dark
>not paying much attention because I live in a relatively safe area
>look back
>person peering at me from behind a building I just passed
I think it's probably nothing, but become more alert
>I look back again, they're still staring
>they pull head back behind building
>peek
>nope
>speed walked home (didn't want them to be intensely aware that I knew they were watching me if they were dangerous)
I forgot to mention I've also been seeing the same guy everywhere, including at that theatre where they followed me downstairs to the bathroom
Cont.
>>16904025
I demand you post titties immediately!
>>16904025
>in theatre
>go downstairs to bathroom before movie
>nothing downstairs except m/f bathrooms (m on left, f on right, roughly twenty feet apart)
>look behind just as I enter bathroom
>guy standing 10 ft behind me
>eye contact
This freaked me out, but I automatically kept walking into the bathroom
>stood in hall of bathroom for a minute to check if they were going to follow me in
>they didn't, so I did what I had to do and walked back upstairs
>didn't see guy upstairs or any other time that day
I don't think I can call the police since they haven't done anything and I'm unsure whether I'm even being stalked, it could very well just be paranoia, how do I lower the chance of this type of thing happening?
TL;DR- possibly being stalked, what do?
I know it sounds canned, but surprisingly, wiki-how's can sometimes be pretty useful in life.
http://www.wikihow.com/React-if-You-Think-Someone-is-Stalking-You
Well you're either being stalked or you're a paranoid schizo.
This being 4chan I'd go with the latter, but who knows.
>>16904031
You make a valid point.
>>16904043
I will try reading this.
>>16904034
If you see the guy again, try to take a picture of him. Do your best to get a clear shot of his face.
Tell a friend your story, acknowledge that it might just be in your head, but give her the picture "just in case."
Start carrying pepper spray, make sure your phone is on you at all times.
>>16904034
arm yourself. pepper spray is legal and effective. check local ordinances, and get bear mace if you can. spray someone in the face with that and theyre going down. tasers are also effective, but legality varies from place to place. i wouldnt suggest a bladed weapon, you want to be able to use whatever you have from a distance and then run like hell. depending on local laws and your own set of ethics, you may want to look into getting a pistol and a concealed carry permit.
>>16904048
I'm pretty sure I'm not paranoid, none of these things happening by themselves would have made me suspicious, and I generally don't think people are evil or out to get me, I just don't want them following me (if that's even the case)
>>16904055
>>16904062
if I see them again, I will try to get a pic.. Pepper spray isn't legal in Canada, and neither is owning a gun, but I will try to get some bear or canine spray..
>>16904055
>If you see the guy again, try to take a picture of him. Do your best to get a clear shot of his face.
If you have a Samsung smartphone, they recently added this emergency feature.
You have to dig around in the settings to activate it and set some emergency contacts, but when you do, what it does is when you press the power button 3 times fast, it will take a picture from the camera in the front, the camera in the back, record from your microphone anything that it hears, use your GPS to record where you currently are, and send all of that information with a S.O.S. emergency text to everyone in the emergency contact list.
>>16904034
>>16904025
tl;dr:
Anon is a paranoid pussy who thinks she's important enough to stalk, and that her wallet info allows her stalker unlimited access to her position. No stalker has that much time to spend on someone.
Don't let sensationalist news scare you. Stalking is rare.
>>16904083
That's useful, but I don't own one. Will he continue this behaviour if I just ignore him? When he followed me to the bathroom he seemed to want to say something to me, but I didn't stop.
>>16904098
Well they know where I live/my class schedule/my phone number, what more do they need? So you don't think seeing the same person over and over and having them follow me to the bathroom means they're stalking me? I'm asking for advice, so even these posts saying I'm paranoid may be helpful.
Once he gets comfortable orbiting you he'll step it up.
Probably stalking your social media, make it look like you're in a relationship? Might put him off
>>16904110
Fine. Call the police on the guy. Worst that could happen is you waste their time.
But I still say seems like nothing. That peaking shit I don't get but if it's any sensible distance were he'd dare act like that I don't see how you could identify him.
>>16904128
I don't have any social media that isn't private.
>>16904149
I don't want to waste a cops valuable time when they could be at Tim Hortins eating a doughnut, they also haven't done anything so I can't really do it either way.
I didn't say the person peeking at me was the same guy I've been seeing, it was dark and I couldn't see them, but I've seen the bathroom guy in broad daylight a couple times.
>>16904078
>bear or canine spray
Thats just stronger pepper spray, wouldn't you get in more trouble for using that on a human than if you used normal pepper spray?
>>16904171
>I don't have any social media that isn't private.
>being stalked, but I don't know what to do about the situation
You write about seeing a person, but write "them" multiple times. Why is that? Have you seen multiple persons or do you just assume that there are more involved in stalking you?
>>16904171
Are you sure it's private?
Just saying because I've online stalked someone before. But it was just because I thought she cared about me when I was having a hard time but it turns out she was just feeling sorry for me and it really pissed me off.
Funnily enough one of her parents was a senator, so it made finding her address an issue.
I did see some stuff she posted online under a screen name and I found her home address because she told me the suburb she lived in, I saw a picture of her in her back yard and there was a playground behind her house.
From there I went google maps and found it really easily.
This is a girl who had been stalked before I met her.
Are you SURE, that your social media is private?
>>16904174
It's kind of a loophole, I was on Amazon reading reviews and someone said that even though pepper spray was illegal you could buy canine or bear to ward off the "animals"
>>16904177
That's just because I'm a private person, it doesn't seem to have helped.
>>16904178
Sorry, I'm on mobile and am just in the habit of writing "them," "they," etc. Because I don't know their gender or if they're even connected to the stalking that may be happening, I also didn't edit it at all. I'm not sure if it's more than one person, as I've only seen one guy but i guess it could be possible.
>>16904208
>kind of a loophole
>someone on amazon
Sounds like some psycho who doesn't have any respect for other people. If your stalker resists pepper spray/is in any condition to harm you then you got big issues.
I recommend you don't go that hard. I've been pepper sprayed for walking down the road and it's incredibly painful. I got some in my mouth too and it was just terrible. I don't even want to think what a more potent pepper spray would do.
>>16904206
Wait, so how can I be sure? Because I'm pretty sure but this is unnerving.
>>16904237
I would never pepper spray someone for walking down the street.. How else can I protect myself in a way that won't hurt them?
>>16904208
>but i guess it could be possible
I don't think so at all. I asked cause if you think so it makes me think that you are paranoid.
>>16904178
She's using "they" as a gender-less pronoun you nincompoop.
>>16904256
I said that because anything is possible, something having a 0% chance of happening has a 100% chance of being a fake statistic.
>>16904244
No that's not the problem. You can use it when you feel like it. But I'm just saying that since paranoid people like you (and the girl who sprayed me for 'following her', on my way home) exist you should have some consideration for the other person. Pepperspray is fine as a defense, it's at least not lethal. If your guy turns out to be bad he should have expected it. Stronger stuff is just too harmful in my eyes (no pun intended). I don't see why you'd need it anyway. The goal is to disorient or stop him and get away, call the police and get him caught hopefully.
>>16904239
Well, I don't know. Personally I did it because I had a beef with her. I told her myself that I didn't want to be friends so it's very different from your case.
But I had this urge to investigate and follow to find out if she was fucking with me, it wouldn't extend to being a IRL stalker.
But it's similar, everyone is different so I am guessing here, if you see him standing around looking like he wants to talk it's def a red flag.
If it is anything like what I had, he thinks a certain way about you.
Spitballing here, but he may think you're the one? Putting you on a pedastool or some shit.
If you think something is up, watch your trash can if he is stalking you that's the only next logical step I can think of.
Google your name and try to find your tumblr, instagram or whatever other account you have
Not sure if it'll help but good luck
>>16904277
I'm only considering canine or bear spray because pepper spray is illegal in Canada, but I would prefer to know if they're actually stalking me first or if I really am some sort of paranoid freak.
>>16904281
Thank you.
>>16904025
Have you considered talking to him? Maybe if you explain your situation he will be more understanding. For all you know he's just trying to ask you out.
>>16904302
>pepper spray is illegal
Ok then you should go for it. Didn't realize.
>>16904313
So I should tell him that I think he's been stalking me? I'm not a very outgoing person, and that just seems like it would be an extra awkward conversation..
>>16904348
>thinks she has a stalker
>doesn't want to get rid of that stress because she's afraid of an awkward conversation with a complete stranger
Bait. You can leave him a note or whatever if you had social phobia but you clearly do not.
>>16904348
It would be easier to find out his motivations by asking him. Asking a question can give you peace of mind. While you're at it try to find out what his name is
>>16904368
Sorry, but this >>16904043 said I shouldn't talk to a possible stalker as it might irritate them, I just didn't want to be rude to someone trying to offer me advice, which is stupid I guess because I'm anonymous.
The stalking part is almost certainly paranoid delusion, but here's what concerns me:
>someone texted you with your wallet
>they asked for your address
Do you know what you can do with credit/debit cards, a copy of your photo ID, and your goddamn address??
>>16904390
My ID wasn't in my wallet and I changed my pin if that helps.
>>16904378
I think confronting him about stalking is too much, but if I didn't and just got his name would it escalate the situation?
>>16904384
It's your choice to consider which sources are reliable but wikihow is pretty bad. It's much better to Google 'how to deal with a stalker'. I assumed you came here for convenience. We respond to your inquiries.
I don't think a normal stalker would be irritated like that. It's probably the extreme cases that they're concerned with. Because talking to them is the most natural thing to do. Maybe they're not being gentle enough. Saying it may all be a misunderstanding but you're concerned is a good thing.
>>16904397
I guess I will try to talk to them, I don't want to bring up the term "stalker" because it may be a misunderstanding, could you give me ideas on what I should say so I don't sound unhinged if I'm wrong about them? And what if they deny it but are actually a stalker? How can I tell if they're lying to me?
>>16904443
They keep stalking you or you solved your problem. Really if you're meeting them (is this a pronoun thing?) an irregular amount then really you do have cause for concern and if they've seen you they're probably aware. So just present that in some nice way. Maybe start off by saying that you're the weird for thinking you guys see eachother a lot despite being complete strangers and you're getting a bit paranoid. Not sure if you should make it perfectly clear it's not because of looks (I'd imagine stalkers might think that way first and foremost) or not. A stalker does have romantic interest in some sense usually. So not being assured you're not the shallow asshole who humiliated them might be a bad thing. But on the other hand it could make it seem like you're interested to someone, you're initiating on someone who isn't of obvious good mental health. But these concerns are a bit extreme I feel. Perhaps best to go in without them. Just being a normal person who was a bit concerned and put blame on herself seems like the best way.
But I've never had to talk to someone I think is stalking me from afar, only someone who actually did stalk me but was sortof close.
>>16904394
I want you to create the setting for yourself, no need to be confrontational , but mention to him that you've been seeing him a lot lately. I believe in the power of words to diffuse any situation. Use wisdom when talking to a stranger about stuff that concerns you and your safety. By simply talking to him you may resolve the issue without having to seek help from the authorities. Do this in a public setting preferably with a lot of people. And preferably with another person you trust.
>>16904477
Yes, it's a pronoun thing, I just write they/them without thinking. They really aren't bad looking, I just find the thought of someone following me unnerving. Thank you for the advice, I will try to follow it.
>>16904502
Right. That makes sense.
>>16904535
For what it's worth, I don't know what this anon is telling you, but every single resource available will tell you to NOT have a conversation with someone you think is a stalker--beyond telling them to leave you alone once--and to limit all interaction as much as possible.
http://www.ican-foundation.org/resources/stalking/
>>16904025
Learn self defense.
Or be a lazy fuck and carry some shit like pepper spray.
>>16904206
I just searched my name using quotations and discovered that some of my social media is easily accessible, I changed my name on one of the accounts and deactivated it but it still shows up as my actual name, how can I go about deleting myself as best as possible from the internet?
>>16904551
Alright..
>>16904390
>Do you know what you can do with credit/debit cards
Nothing if she calls her credit card company to report them lost/stolen. She can get replacement cards with new numbers for free.
>>16904206
Damn dude. You are a stone cold creep.
>>16904923
Man my family abused me alot ok, this girl thought she could help me or whatever I asked her to leave me alone and she really got under my skin starting at me every day.
I just checked out her stuff online every now and then to see if she posted about me and she did, she was making fun of me.
You wouldn't understand the feeling when one person you think might care about you does that.
>>16904673
Just get pics and stuff to private, you don't know this person
