Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical act/moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely. Preferences differ.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking.
This is really silly but
>cute worker at a subway I go to
>want to get to know her
I'm adverse to trying to flirt with girls when they're at work for obvious reasons. Also its a subway so making an order takes all of 6 seconds, not much room for banter
Is there any way to make this work?
>>16903652
"Hey, I think you're cute. Here's my number, drop me a call if you'd like to go out for a coffee sometime" (hand them a card or if she's at the cashier, just borrow a pen write your number on the back of something).
Short, succinct, non-intrusive and confidently gets your point across. If she's interested she'll call. If she's not, she won't.
I gotta say, just asking the girl I got a crush on out was a pretty good confidence booster, even more so when she actually did come out with me.
When I was pondering whether or not to ask her, I realized that the worst thing that could really happen is just her saying no. That realization made the decision to ask her out so much easier.
Ask again because the other thread is abandoned
I have only dated sluts. I don't want get too used to quick sex because I am sure it will make a normal relationship difficult. I want to know how long you should wait for holding hands, kissing, sex, etc with a normal girl
> Girl and I almost dated a few years back but I never caught on she was into me
>Remain friends with benefits for about a year and a half
>About a month ago she brought up about dating me
>I told her that I was down and we should go on dates and see where it goes
>A few days later she calls it off, "You're like a brother to me I can't do it" (I guess she likes incest as she basically was hooking up with her "brother" over the last few years)
>Also brings up about want to hook up still
>Out last weekend with her and some friends
>Her one female friend is all over me the whole night and we're flirting
>I found that apparently she was mad at her friend for flirting with me because she was "jealous"
I don't get it guys, she claims she never wants to be with me, yet she gets jealous when other girls flirt with me?
>>16903876
I'm a guy here I know that feel. I personally on the first date the most you should do is just hug each other goodbye, maybe a kiss on the cheek/lips. I would want until the 2nd or 3rd date to do something more (make out). Most "normal" girls will wait on sex with a guy until they are actually official.
I kind of know the answer but figured I'd ask anyway.
I am a 25 m technology entrepreneur. Very nerdy. Good looking but by no means a model, in shape, and smart/funny at times. Problem is that 6 months ago I discovered I was lied to by someone I loved, and now I'm HIV positive. Within the last week I was also diagnosed with PTSD.
I know chicks can be a little nuts, but whats the likelihood that one is nuts enough to deal with my issues? How would you honestly react if I broke the news to you?
>>16903885
>>A few days later she calls it off, "You're like a brother to me I can't do it" (I guess she likes incest as she basically was hooking up with her "brother" over the last few years)
My ignorant male ass tells me:
She's scared and feels like she doesn't want to try for a relationship, because if you do and you fail, it will break everything and you'll lose what you have now.
It may be she was kind of testing your resolve/secretly hoping to see if you'd push harder for a relationship in spite of her turning you down, that you were so ambivalent about doing it from the start that she got worried that this might fail, and was hoping against hope you'd calm those fears and push past them.
Of course, I might be full of shit. No doubt you're about to get pounced on by a bunch of red pills saying she's a bitch, and a whore, and whatever the fuck else, just thought I'd put this out there before they do and try to taint you with pessimism.
Talk to her is the only real solution.
Girls. How would a Guy successfully approach you un the street and leave with your number?
Just trying to figure out how to hit on someone in the street without seeming like a creep or annoying her.
>>16903918
I really don't suggest doing this. Real life is not at all like movies/tv. You'd have to be incredibly attractive (like Ryan Reynolds attractive), and also incredibly lucky in who you approach, because the chick is most likely taken.
If you're going to cold approach, do it in a place people expect it, and are more likely to be rececptive. i.e. indoors. Events, bars, clubs, get-togethers, etc.
I wouldn't be creeped out, but I'd be very uncomfortable. You just can't imagine how threatening it is to be alone on the street as is, without guys coming up to you.
>>16903922
Understood.
>>16903896
Hey anon, I'm sorry for all you're going through.
Try to work on your PTSD through therapy and such.
I don't think many girls would deal with a HIV positive diagnosis well. I am sure that some can. Some others won't.
I would freak out, but I wouldn't be mad at you for sure. I'd be terrified because I wouldn't know how to handle everything. I would be terrified because I wouldn't know what it'd mean in terms of "future together". I think that if I really loved someone, I would try my best to stay.
There's a good graphic novel you might like, Blue pills by Frederik Peeters (pic very related).
Good luck with everything.
>>16903934
Heh, I obviously fucked up with the pic. Great job.
>>16903924
As another male-anon
One of the things you need to understand when it comes to things like this are the concept of consent and personal space.
If you're walking down a street on your way to work, you're there purely to get there form point A to point B. Anyone who is approaching you is interfering with that and is doing so against your will and your consent. You're at maximum guard.
If you're at a bar with friends, you're intentionally putting yourself in a social situations because you want to be there. There is a slightly elevated level of implied consent there that makes you receptive to strangers approaching you, because--like I said--it's a social place, and you knowingly entered by your own volition. Your guard is lowered a tiny bit here.
If you're on a date, you've implicitly and explicitly agreed to lower your guard enough to meet a new stranger. You've given another individual enough consent to get to know you, because how else can they do that? You drop your guard here to a massive degree.
Different environments have different levels of implied consent which make it more or less reasonable for people to approach. Different people also have different comfort zones with their levels of consent.
it's to your advantage to be respectful and mindful of all that somewhere in the back of your mind. Don't let it limit you, but don't be an asshole. Respect people, like you would want them to respect you.
Girls. How much do clothes factor in how attractive you think someone is? Anything you particularly like or know is popular amont your friends?
>>16903941
>an intelligent man who gets it
Welp, time to leave 4chan for the day before this pleasant surprise is ruined.
>>16903947
Huge factor. I don't want or expect a guy to be super fashionable. I don't know the names of more than a handful of brands, and guys that do kinda weird me out. But that doesn't mean he should look like he just picked up a new wardrobe at Hot Topic.
Jeans that fit, top priority. Decent, clean shoes. Type of shoe doesn't matter much to me, as long as they look taken care of. Shirt-wise I like
>pic related
style of shirts. They're casual but still make a guy look sharp. T-shirts are a huge turnoff. Those are for lounging around the house/doing chores. If we're out and about, a nice shirt is necessary.
>>16903941
Yes I understand all that already and it is the reason why I don't try anything on the street. I was juste curious about this today and no harm in asking so I did.
Anybody
a close friend of mine who I'm crushing on really hard is probably going to have sex with someone tonight.. It hurts, but there is nothing I can do about it obviously..
Can someone cheer me up? I'm depressed
>>16903947
It matters a lot.
I am in my 20s. I like guys who dress like adults.
So, yeah, if you look like the dumbass version of Justin Bieber I won't even look at you. If you dress like a hobo, I find it off-putting.
As >>16903955 said: jeans (or khakis) that fit you well. Clean shoes.
I like shirts (especially white and blue shirts) and sweaters a lot. I like blazers if there's a reason to wear one. I like guys with nice t-shirts, but they have to fit you well. Polo make most guys look like fast food workers, but on some they look good, so benefit of the doubt.
Color wise - the simpler, the better.
>>16903988
smoke crack
Girls: do you like this?
>>16904023
YES. Lots.
My boyfriend has super veiny arms and I love caressing them when we're cuddling.
>>16904023
No. But I don't dislike it either. It's absolutely meaningless.
>>16904023
>veiny hairless arms
how far are you into your transition?
>>16904023
yes
>>16904023
I'm not even a girl. But that's basic sexual dimorphism, which is a turn-on for most people.
>>16903988
Yeah, start looking for a girlfriend because you won't get with her. Snooze you lose
>>16904030
Are them ALWAYS veiny?
>>16904101
No, only after he works out. But he looks hot as fuck after he works out.
>>16903934
Whats not really known is that if youre on ART therapy the chance of transmitting is less than 2% without condoms. But since the shock value of HIV is kinda big I think it just immediately flips a switch in someones head. I felt the same way at one point.
I'm probably not going to die from HIV. I'm taking my medication, and even the things HIV causes like cancer and heart failure I combat with exercise, proper diet, and vitamins/supplements. I quit smoking after finding out. In that regard I could say its changed me for the better.
I'm more at risk of dying from suicide. I am a positive person who tries to fix all the problems I can. Instead of loneliness I focus on my startup, creative outlets, and hobbies. But I'm the only person to experience it and is dissociated me from others. PTSD is kind of a wild card.
I'll check out the book.
>>16904096
I'm just not interested in other girls.
and it's not really "snooze you lose".. She just lives far from me.
>>16903947
I like it simple, clean, well-fitted. A pair or jeans and a T-shirt are classic as long as they fit you properly and are clean.
Another tip is anything looks better on you the better your body underneath looks. So make sure to take care of that part of yourself as well.
I have a fucked up porn addiction that I've kept secret from my girlfriend, and I just fell into another binge last night after being off it for weeks. I'm at a really low point right now and I want to talk to her about it, but I don't want to tell her about the degrading self destructive tendencies that I have. Is this something I should bare on my own? I don't know if it's right to put this sort of thing on a loved one
okay, a internet "friend" asked me for pics of my butt and my feet out of the blue. we talked about series and shit before, always in a friendly manner, but sometimes he has done jokes about "haha id totally fug you haha". trying to be cool, ive managed to change the subject and talk about other stuff. im not embarrassed about giving opinions about sex or similar stuff, but always is in the most objective and non-flirting way.
ive stopped talking to him when he asked for the pics, because ive felt uncomfortable but he spammed with tons of messages saying that i am a bad friend and yadda yadda yadda for not replying him. ive already talked with him about that, about how that seriously grossed me out, but now he is saying "
ohh, weve talked about even more gross stuff and you felt offended by that?! i was only joking lol". to this day, he is always messaging me but i dont really want to talk to him again. am i overacting?
>>16904023
That picture is a bit extreme, I do like a good level of vascularity, especially on the wrist/hand.
Females: How tall is too tall?
>6'6" / 200lbs reporting in
>>16904152
>"friend" asked me for pics of my butt
>ive stopped talking to him when he asked for the pics, because ive felt uncomfortable
> spammed with tons of messages saying that i am a bad friend
>am i overacting?
Dude asks for pics, then proceeds to deride you when he doesn't get them. Sounds like an asshole trying to backpedal so he can try again later.
Dump this fool.
>>16904158
Height is only a problem if you have a weird, gangly body. I have no idea what 200 pounds looks like on someone your height. Post a picture with your head cropped out. I imagine you're probably lanky?
Either way, gangly guys are just as unattractive as obese ones.
>>16904158
4 inches taller than me is ideal.
I'd say maybe after a foot taller it might be getting to too much.
I'm 5'8"
>>16904152
Nah, that's weird as fuck. It should be obvious when you're just friends with someone or when you're in a relationship where you can ask to see each other named. There really isn't any grey area there
>>16904163
pic related, me. 6'6"/200lbs
>>16904181
Looks fine to me. Do you have super knobby chicken legs?
Ultimately, you look healthy. That's fine. There are chicks who will dig you. For me, you're a bit too skinny. I like guys with a bit more muscle/meat on them. There's nothing quite like a tall, "mountain of a man" type of fella. But again, that's the preference of one chick with specific tastes.
>>16904137
>>16903947
Guy here.
Femanon is correct. This is what Ive had the most success with. I wear a good pair of fitted jeans, neutral colors usually. Then a tshirt that fits a little longer, brings out shoulders with well fitted sleeves.
Maybe add a hoodie. My addition is get a fly pair of kicks. Work on core and panties will drop. Arms look better in Ts with good triceps so do your dips.
Girls
I have the fetish of having sex with a total stranger. Like someone I don't even know the name, just sex and nothing else.
Would I try to achieve that, what is the best social setting? A bar/club? Is it common for girls too?
>>16904189
>chicken legs
dont think so. what do you think?
I'm really sad because of a girl. I'm thinking about spending $30,000 on a new car to help my thoughts.
What do
>>16904194
>a fly pair of kicks
This isn't Grape street
>>16904198
Tinder, bars/clubs, Ashley Madison. It's not "common" for girls, but there are no shortage of skanks who would be happy to one-and-done you if you're attractive.
>>16904200
Ride a bike more m8
Men:
I didn't have health insurance in 2014 and paid a $90 penalty on taxes. Git a new job in July 2015 and my employer only allows healthcare enrollment in November. I signed up for this insurance in Nov 2015 and it takes effect Jan 2016.
On my 2015 taxes can I report that I was covered for Nov and Dec 2015? Fucking Obamacare, I swear to god.. Gonna be a $300 penalty this year either way.
>>16904200
Nice! Great thighs. Thighs are the most important as far as legs go. Can't stand dudes who have beanpole legs from ankle to ass. You wouldn't be able to fit into skinny jeans, and that's 100% a positive thing.
I'm pretty sure this girl lost interest in me, and rather quickly too.
So girls, what specifically causes you to lose interest in a guy?
>>16904210
i squat two pl8 m8
>>16904212
t-thanks
>>16904212
Careful not to fall into this hamplanet's orbit
>>16904220
Not that anon, but for whatever reason, calves seem to be the only muscle that are retareded and build better through stuff like biking or running rather than lifting.
>>16903680
If she doesn't, never go back to that subway, *ever again*.
We don't need anymore awkward encoubters
>>16904220
didnt say do squats said ride a bike
you dont need squats your quads are fine.
you need calves, the way to get them is riding a bike.
>>16904211
I should mention that I was ENROLLED in a Capital Blue plan in November, but I couldn't technically draw benefits until January. I can't find any pay stubs from those last two months of 2015 to check if I was being charged for the coverage yet or not.
>>16904211
You can claim whatever you want, but you won't be able to prove it if anyone comes knocking because you won't have a corresponding 1095-B.
Did you really not qualify for Medicaid prior to the new job? Because if you had, 1) Medicaid has no enrollment period, and 2) losing Medicaid because your new income made you ineligible would have triggered a special 30 day enrollment period for you.
>>16904261
What are you asking
>>16904261
Well then I take back the assumption I made a moment ago. Maybe you do have a 1095-B from that insurance provider.
You should have received one in the mail last month. If you didn't, call them to confirm your enrollment date.
>>16904272
I did not receive a 1095-B. Thank you, I will contact them to confirm my enrollment date. The last two years I've been in an awkward financial state where I couldn't possibly afford the $70 a month plan from my employer (which is cheaper by far than anything on the marketplace) but I didn't qualify for an exemption or medicaid benefits. Being poor, but not poor enough fucking sucks.
>>16904219
It could be one of a hundred things man.
>>16904150
Yea I would try to talk to someone else about it cuz she's a girl and she might not understand and get jealous.
>>16904023
Uh I like veins but thats a little too much.
Guys
How embarrassed would you be if it was your birthday, you playing in a band with a big crowd, and your girlfriend walks up to you and gives you flowers for your birthday in front of everyone?
Trying to decide if this is too bold or not.
>>16904325
Even if your boyfriend is the sensitive type who appreciates nice gestures like that, do NOT do that in front of his bandmates, peers and fans. Ever. It's not about what's chill between the two of you. He still cares about his image. Everyone does. Giving flowers to him when he's in "work" mode, in "just being a dude with my bros" mode is a horrible idea. Be there, blow him a kiss, set a beer on stage for him or something. But do not emasculate him in front of everyone.
>>16904325
I can't really relate to the band scene, but I'd be uncomfortable if my girlfriend did something similar at my job. It's not embarrassment. It's disappointment that my girlfriend is this socially clueless.
>>16904325
really embarassed tbqh. but that's just me.
>>16904347
>>16904346
>>16904337
Ok thank god I asked /adv/ first.
>>16904355
Yes, it's lucky that you did.
You need some guy friends in your life. Cousins, brothers, boyfriends/husbands of your friends. Men who can be unbiased and give you suggestions when it comes to stuff like this. You clearly have a long way to go to understanding men.
>>16904325
That's adorably naive.
>>16904325
I would love it.
>>16904325
I'd like it. I'd hate it in the moment (obviously won't show that) but it's certainly one of the kindest gestures I can think of. Getting the crowd to understand its his birthday (if they didn't know) is probably a good idea if you're going through with it.
I'm not sure what bands are like though. There's of course the economic/profession success aspect of girls liking guys in bands in a romantic way and you'd shatter that illusion instantly by being the sweetest girl on the planet.
I dunno, gauge his reactions to other things first? Also if you're kids I'd advice against it simply because kids are mean.
>>16904325
I personally wouldn't care. But then again I'm in my mid/late 20's and not an edgy teenager insecure about being "emasculated" and "protecting my image" or whatever the fuck all the other anons seem to be freaking out over.
Girls:
If you went on less than 3 dates with someone, then said you wanted to stop seeing eachother, would it be awkward to see him?
Also if you already had drunk sex with him
that awful feeling when you can tell the girl you like is starting to lose feelings for you. And there is nothing you can do about it...
...had anyone been through this before?
My girlfriend is 4'11, possibly 5 ft and I'm 5'10. So it's pretty inevitable that some sex positions are difficult as I literally can not bend my body in the angle necessary. The position that especially comes to mind is doggy, it's just very hard.
The one position that we've found that works well for both of us is facing each other with me on top while she spreads her legs.
Any suggestions? Tales from your own experiences that might help us obtain other positions?
>>16904733
>doggy
Prop her up on something, couple pillows maybe.
Carry her, that's a good one usually, girls like it. Especially when they're against a wall.
I can't think of any solutions to 69 if that's a problem.
Can't think of many other that's problematic or enjoyable for me.
I have mild acne.
I'm way older than you'd expect.
I go the gym. I have a good job.
But my back has a few red spots and my face breaks out every few months.
I feel like a fucking leper.
Am I truly that undateable?
Guys why is my boyfriend so proud of having a big penis when it hurts me almost every time we have sex and sometimes I even have to stop sex short because it hurts so much... and his dick never makes me cum. Yet he won't shut up about how great it is having a big dick I want to punch him.
>>16904881
Sounds more like a problem in your mind than anything else. People don't particularly notice back pimples unless you show them off or weapons sleeveless clothing a lot.
>>16904919
lol
>>16904919
It's a dude thing, but if he's being a dick about it, tell him. Having a big dick isn't all it's cracked up to be for that exact reason.
>>16904921
I don't think it is.
I work in a place where people change their clothes regularly.
All their backs are smooth and featureless.
My back looks like the Moon at best and Mars at the worst.
How could anyone desire that?
I feel like a freak.
I'd rather have burn marks or something.
Anything other that a suggestion of bad hygiene.
>>16904929
>It's a dude thing
Can you explain it to me?? It actually hurts my feelings that he cares more about having a big penis as if it doesn't even occur to him that a smaller one would bring his girlfriend more pleasure. And I'm not trolling.
First time you have sex with someone - how do you make it less awkward?
Every time i had sex with someone new for the first time, it was underwhelming, because why wouldnt it be, you dont know what the other one likes yet, and have to see how they react to different things.
Any tips how to reduce the awkwardness of the situation?
>>16904939
He's indoctrinated to care since he was old enough to get a boner.
It's not really his fault but it's true that he's being rather inconsiderate.
Not sure how to deal with this sorry.
>>16904958
Well thanks for the perspective.
>He's indoctrinated
Maybe if I explain this to him he will understand and cut it out.
>>16904967
No problem. His manhood is clearly a big deal to him. I'm 6.6" but when I see others that have more girth or anything bigger really I do get rather jealous. Not because I haven't checked ideal penis size/pleasure charts and found myself fairly well positioned but because it's a status thing for men.
I think explaining is a good idea. But I think if he brags in public ever (which would be weird) he'd rather not have you be bothered. But just between the two of you he should both be more careful and more considerate.
>>16904201
It costs $35 to save two people's eye sight in Africa.
Spend it on 1800 people's new eyesight. You should be happy that you've made people happier.
Not only is it the logical answer, but it will be infinitely more attractive than a vain car which is only bought to "impress" [let people know how selfish and vein you are] people.
Does it directly effect you, no. Will it make you infinetly happier when you think about your choice? Yes. Imagine Bill gates getting up in the morning. Sure he derives some pleasure [statisticlaly, not that much more than u and I] from his money but I bet he's most proud of, and most happy with his success in regards to his foundation which has saved over 3 million lives.
Besides the novelty, and the one drunk slut that likes it, that car will not make you happy.
>>16904982
Thanks... yea its usually when we're alone.
>>16905001
If only there was some symbol for people like these. Like they would get all all those 'thanks for helping' cards every month.
I'm not sure what the best place to invest your karma-allocated bux though. Things like the gates foundation make big lasting changes. Eyesight for people that will die might help then a lot, and it might help them improve their society in some way. But a well or goat might be more productive right? Combating erosion by buying trees is also good. I think the thought of them being blind is a much better ROI though.
But they're niggers so maybe invest in something else?
>>16903955
>>16903991
Holy shit, your opinions are 100% current mainstream opinion. Its like you did not even think out one opinion yourself, nor wonder what gave you that opinion. The exact middle between radical and conservative. Not implying im some edgy dude, but could you please be even just a tiny bit off the accepted opinion ? You guys are really extreme at being normal
>no general questions thread
oy vey i'm so triggered etc. etc.
my 25th birthday is in two weeks and I don't know if I should do anything, or what to do. Looking for suggestions on what to do besides sit at home and contemplate suicide
>>16905047
Go to McDonalds pal
A cheeseburger solves everything
-Dad
>>16905047
>no general advice thread
That's what this board is. This thread is a thread for what was and is common and took up a large part of the board. We should probably have a relationship advice thread aswell. But that really starts to ruin boards when you go that way.
>>16905080
yeah but why make a thread when there's a semi related one already here
>>16904933
First off, calm down. This isn't as big as it seems. How much time do you actually spend staring at someone's back? Why do you want someone to desire your back so much? I can't think of an intimate thing you can do besides massages that you would spend any amount of time staring at or even seeing. Your back really just isn't a big deal. I doubt any woman in the history of ever ended up breaking up or not being with a guy because of a few pimples.
>>16904939
>It occurs to him that a smaller one would give his girlfriend more pleasure.
It doesn't. That's what everyone goes around saying in dude circles. Bigger is better. He's bigger, and therefore better (in his mind). But since he's being a dick about it, tell him that you don't really appreciate the bragging, but put it in a way that won't emasculate him. It's not entirely his fault.
>>16905046
>it's mainstream
The mainstream is mainstream for a reason.
>>16905046
>Not implying im some edgy dude, but could you please be even just a tiny bit off the accepted opinion ?
Like, why? Do I need to pretend I don't like a certain style on a guy just because it's mainstream?
It's not necessary that one guy dresses exactly the way I like, but having fitting, clean clothes and dressing in the right way for his age matters to me.
I wouldn't date a guy who isn't able to choose a pair of jeans of the right size, or a 25 year old that dressed like a gangster.
>>16903009
I'm not great at explaining this one. I can tell you parts but not give a clear overview.
A goal is to create sexual tension.
A strategy/method is to make the other person laugh; being comedic is not the only way to accomplish that.
Unless being crass is your "shtick" or whatever, being overtly sexual is something to throw in sparingly for emphasis at opportune moments. For the bulk of it, sexual undertones are what you're going for.
And yes by create sexual tension I mean you're literally attempting to make the person uncomfortable. Only slightly so. Or, maybe a better way to say it: Not in a bad way. Enjoyably uncomfortable. And they're doing the same to you. Reciprocal; either by matching yours head on or by playing coy in their responses to yours. It's an exchange. A dance of sorts, if that metaphor helps any.
Compliments, playful challenges, an absurdly inappropriate remark kept to a whisper, reacting with only a wolfish or mischievous smile when a verbal response is expected, a gleam in the eye, a touch, a joke -- it can take any form really. Just keep it in context and keep it playful. Keep it poking at and teasing the other person's boundaries. Also: not predictable > unpredictable. Subtle distinction there but a good one to note.
Now off to youtube! They'll explain way better and watching it in action will help much more. Just don't get sucked into the PUA stuff. It's formulaic, which will appeal, but the formula is crap. Effective crap but crap nonetheless. It nets turbosluts while simultaneously teaching you how to lower your appeal to the rest of the female population, all of which is likely to inevitably lead to you becoming disillusioned and, coincidentally enough, a turboslut yourself. Getting gud at genuine flirting is worth the higher degree of difficulty and extra effort if you're looking to actually connect on any substantial level.
>tfw realize that the number of responses i get on okcupid has sharply dropped since they removed income from profiles
fug
>>16904919
because feminism had taught him his entire life that he is nothing but an atm with a dick attached, and his bank account and penis should be as big as possible.
no one believes a woman when she says she likes anything smaller than above average, even if it's true. it's not like he can shrink his dick either so you really need to sit down and have a serious talk about you two having sex and how to get past this impasse via technique
fwiw i am far below average in penile size and i would be an arrogant prick too if i had a nice dick
>>16905001
>africans
haha no
>>16905106
>he got responses
A question for the ladies:
I broke things off with a girl who is a friend who was leading me on for a year and a half or so. Thing is, I'd still like to actually be friends without the whole tension thing between is. I cut off talking to her last week, how do I strike up back a conversation without looking like a sperglord?
>>16905109
"Nice dick" is subjective though. He has no reason to be arrogant about something that doesn't have any real weight on his character. Thats why its irritating when he brags.
>>16905020
> your karma-allocated bux though
Money has an inverse relationship with how moral you are, generally. Good people see how their generocity helps others, whilst the bad either don't see, don't care or actively take money from the poor for profit.
>But they're niggers so maybe invest in something else?
This may be a contriversial oppinion here, but I consider them as human as you or I. If you only care about your own citizens, then donate to them, but you'll only help out several people for the same cost of helping thousands of africans as they have more problems.
>>16905046
this shocked me too. I care not if someone dresses slighly bad or if they're "up with fashion" or w/e. In fact, fashion is more of a turn-off for me. It's like a meaningless hobby filled with vacuous people desiring constant aproval from others. Nothing wrong with dressing individualistic or normal but to actually care what people wear over anything more than a minor part of their being is just sad.
>>16905109
Q>someone who doesn't have a big dick trying to justify this
Dude, vaginas aren't magic. If your dick is too big, it's going to hurt, and they're going to be scared. Case in point, me (from the last thread with the monster dick) getting rejected because my dick is too massive. I need even get to try to put it in. Girth matters more than length anyway.
>>16905120
It's still nice to be blessed in that way.
>He has no reason to be arrogant about something that doesn't have any real weight on his character.
If it did have weight we wouldn't call it arrogance. Not sure if you're the woman with the dick problem or someone else, but the only real solution is to get him to tone things down during sex so you don't end up in the hospital.
>crush didn't add me on Facebook when we were 13-15
>never brought it up, neither of us were big users
>her friend had a crush on me and I rejected her
>affected her relationship with me because of solidarity or something
>met in the street a couple of times after that, talking about what we're doing and she didn't seem to dislike me.
It's a bit mean to say but she doesn't have game (conventionally good looks or social). I wouldn't be surprised if she's still a virgin at 24. She's very smart and I like her a lot. But it's a decade later and I still have that friend request pending. Her last post was last year. I'd rather not describe it but she's a very special person who doesn't really use Facebook to socialize. It's more of a life update, like a Christmas card. It's public (unlike mine).
I'm not ready to go for her yet, having it tough but I think maybe if I could get her to talk to me I'd feel better. I've been thinking about her since. I just don't see any ways to get contact with her that doesn't seem weird or desperate. Like contacting her FB friends and asking if they can tell her about me. Best option I've come up with would be to find when she has lectures, go to an individual course that makes us likely to meet (we also get a topic, opportunity to share phone numbers) and try meeting her.
I know you guys will say I'm far too invested into a girl I met in secondary school, that she might have changed or that she's already taken. But that last one is what I'm fearing the most. I don't mind being this heavily invested. It will hurt and has hurt whether she's with someone or not (looking at her FB she's rather lonely, has made some sadder expressions in the drawings, saying she's just occupied with studies all the time). I just want a contact so I can start healing or keep the door open at least. I think I'm recovering well enough. And her old friend is definitely not a problem. Not friends on Facebook anymore.
>>16905130
Vaginas are pretty magical though. I doubt you're actually too big to fit, but not preparing enough.
>>16904919
No one gives a shit if you enjoy it. The size of your dick is the size of your manhood.
Ideally his penis would perfectly match your vagina. But thats not the case so its better to err on the large scale than be too small.
Girls:
How long do you usually take to respond to Tinder messages?
Sent the first message to a girl I super liked yesterday and haven't heard from. Just trying to find the line between hard-to-get and back-up.
>>16905132
Ya its still me. And I don't see how can act like its a blessing when it hurts me, his girlfriend. Which he is aware of btw.
>>16905130
Women love big dicks. Having a big dick is the best thing ever.
>girth matters more than length
Fucking virgin. No it doesnt. Girth matters when its too small or too big. Not in general.
As long as you have a realistically sized large dick (7-8 x 5.5-6) women will love it. If you hit monster territory of 9-10 then you are going to scare girls even though sex will not really be different if you know what you are doing. If your girth is larger than 6.5 you arent going to be having sex.
tldr; big dicks are the best, monster disproportional dicks are a fucking joke
Its like having a large wingspan in basketball is amazing, then that one guy with bat arms starts crying no one wants him. If you arent a freak you will be loved for it.
>>16903147
Nah, you can handle it. Letting that last experience color your expectation for this one will only increase the likelihood of it happening again. Don't shoot yourself in the foot. You don't say anything beforehand because it'll come across as offering a warning. (&/or bragging, but that's a whole 'nother story.) Despite being meant as a kind or preparatory gesture, it'll be introducing a certain level of alarm to her that just doesn't need to be there.
If she acts afraid or expresses reluctance similarly to how the first girl did, you don't panic or apologize or beg or any of that. You simply reassure her. Not like "oh baby it's ok" and put your arm around her, like...sympathize with her concern but don't empathize with it. That doesn't mean be condescending or a dick about it, mind. The point is just you don't want to mirror any of her own nervous energy back at her.
Exactly what to do or say depends too much on situational context for me to be able to make this easy and just tell you the "right" version of that, but the underlying mechanics will serve better anyhow, so: Inner reaction should = flattered because taking it as a compliment & ego boost + amused at her concern, not because of anything sinister but because you're *so* confident she's in good hands and has nothing to worry about that the thought of her getting hurt or not enjoying herself is actually absurd enough to strike you as funny. Reassuring her is simply a matter of letting your external reaction reflect that sort of internal reaction.
>Explaining the crap out of every little detail like this can make it sound like a taller order than it is. The complexity is intuitive. If just seems complicated? This is where you choose to be inspired not intimidated. Guides & resources all over the net about how to into foreplay & how to proceed with a big dick. Porn stars often know their shit. Generally the more candidly presented the info is, the better. Cosmo magazine type stuff is shit-tier.
>>16905157
Because it is a blessing. You will get used to it if you stick around.
Hes born with a trait the is great and just because you dont like it doesnt mean it isnt a great trait.
>my bf is super smart and I dont like it because it makes me feel dumb
>he should feel bad instead of happy hes smart
This is what you sound like.
>>16905124
>this may be a controversial oppinion
I was just kidding jamaa
Swahili for relative, look how cultured I am.
>good people get fucked on wealth
>bad people don't
Sortof true. In the upper echelons of the economic ladder there's more people who have gotten there by bad means. Sadly just a fact of poorly implemented capitalist democracy. You need someone like Bill Gates who got rich by work/luck to find generosity most of the time. You have some crooks who turn good, can't remember his name but there's this Swedish guy who swindled people out of money and essentially redistributed it into helping poor people here with education and starting companies. - his legal fees when he got caught. But if you step down a few steps and get into reasonable pay grades were you're still rich by comparison to the poor you will often find that when you place the kind of reward gratitude from niggers is then they cave and donate rather big sums. Not to live more modestly usually. But a significant portion. Middle class has larger problems doing that and lower class simply can't. It's not inversely proportional.
>>16905176
If he was smart he would see why bragging about his penis size that makes sex worse for me doesn't make sense.
He should be bragging about his skills in making me cum... but he doesn't make me cum because his dick is too big and he somehow thinks this is a great thing.
>>16905184
Society doesnt give a shit about his ability to make you cum. Big dick=better dick.
Its that simple. You are just being incredibly butthurt that he has a good trait. I pray he doesnt let you bring him down.
>stop being smart so I can feel better
>you should pride yourself in your ability to not make me feel dumb, not being smart
Selfish cunts
>>16905184
if it's that bad then dump him
>i bet you secretly love it though
you've gotten pretty good advice but you keep bringing up your bf's monster dong
>>16903025
>>16901882
>girls: do you prefer a manly guy or a pretty boy?
Speaking only for my own personal preferences here: Manly.
>I know that when you are young you much prefer a pretty g-
Girl. Again however, that was just me personally.
I like my gals girly and my dudes manly, and such perception has more to do with mindset and mannerisms than the
>kinda built but also kinda fat
>manly beard
>very boyish looking
>very attractive
>fit but not very big
physical appearance type stuff. Not saying it doesn't factor at all, just that it doesn't heavily.
>I know it depends from people to people but generally speaking and based on your experience would I still have a chance?
There's a chance you'd still have a chance, for sure. Dunno if that ship has sailed or is still in the process of sailing but I wouldn't hesitate too much longer if I were you.
>>16901877
Express an interest first. You're more likely to get a yes than if you just ask them out "cold". You can wait if you want to but like...yeah, lol, don't wait dude. Flirt with her yourself instead. If you're the one who's decided you want to pursue a relationship/dating/whatever, then the onus is on you anyway. Flirting is like testing the waters and expressing an interest all rolled up into one.
Daily reminder not to make a move unless you know you'll succeed.
>>16905181
>. It's not inversely proportional.
>Sadly just a fact of poorly implemented capitalist democracy.
I agree with you wholeheartedly.
The average bloke makes cash, gives a little and has enough for a good life. That's fine.
It's when someone spends money on things that are useless (like vanity projects) that it becomes the problem. I won't complain at you for upgrading your house to improve you and ur kids lives, but to spend 30k on a car for no justifiable reason other than vanity/pussy is what im talking about.
>I was just kidding jamaa
Considering most responses i got said "niggers" in the response, yours too I see, I see why you think it's not a useful way to spend it. It doesn't have to be on africans. be it your home country if you insist.
>>16905175
None of this matters if I dont know what to expect. Which is why Im asking in the first place.
Women thoughts on
>Whats womens typical reaction to seeing a fairly massive penis. 8x6. Should I inform her before hand or just let it surprise her.
>>16905211
Thanks anon, was almost gonna use tinder.
>>16905236
tinder is not making a move holy shit dude
>>16905211
I thought I was the only one who did this.
Threadly reminder not to engage in a serious relationship with someone whose ideas are different than yours.
>>16905099
And what does pointing out that do to further the discussion? Objectively the problem with 100% mainstream"ism" is that it does not invent or explore, and stagnates. So being even just a little off the chart is good, because new and original thoughts can take place, which is ironic in the way that the new mainstream always comes from things that differs from the current one.
>>16905228
I use the word because I can't use it elsewhere (and I get jealous as humans do) and it's a bit of a meme really. You find that when you get serious talks about it on most boards. Usually the most racist differentiate between thugs and black people even.
We should bring back doublenigger though. Because we need offensive slang on these boards and at least that one is clearly mocking racism. In my view anyway.
I can stop saying saying it. But where do you draw the line? Faggot, -fag, board specific derogatory slang like DYEL, normal insults? I don't know. It feels pointless and really aiming for maximum offense seems like the better option.
>vanity spending
Well even in our system it leads to some positive developments for the most part. Some negative but largely positive I believe. Spending it on charity is clearly better still.
>>16904945
Wait longer, get to know the person better, and form an emotional bond before you have sex.
Why do women enjoy touching a dick after it ejaculates. Why.
>>16904325
why would i, as a man, receive flowers?>>16904945
you over-value that first sexual encounter. also suck their genitals
I went out drinking with my coworkers and I'm too drunk to drive home. I asked one of my co-workers if I could hang out his apartment for about 30 minutes or so to sober up, because he lives 50 feet away from the bar we were at but he said no. I'm sitting in my car and I'm not really sure what to do. I don't have any pictures on my phone to post a new thread with, so I'm posting my question here.
>>16905277
They like to be a little bit dom I think. It's a rare vulnerable moment so they poke at it because you will still be that bull they can never tame. Even if they get to treat you like that right then.
Personally I love it, it's painful in some ways but it's pretty sweet after a while.
>>16905293
>painful
Not sure what is wrong with your dick. But it tickles me way too much and I go into shock.
>>16905277
Because watching the man I love do that fills me with such intense feelings of arousal and affection that I just want to kiss and stoke that part of him even more.
>>16905297
I really like it to stop was all I was saying. Painful wasn't accurate perhaps but it's a discomfort (wouldn't say it tickles) and I'm like 'do you torture me? Was having a good time.'.
It's more of an emotional thing for me. Afterwards it feels great to have her have been like that. I'm not sure why.
How do I get rid of romantic thoughts with a girl I see every day of the week?
Would be no issue if we didn't already go on two dates, and decided to stop seeing eachother. But I want to keep seeing her.
>>16905384
stop seeing her, ya dingus
>>16901877
Re: >>16901699
Relationships differ from friendships in the degrees, levels, and types of intimacy shared, right? Starting a relationship is a gradual process of becoming closer to each other at a natural rate. By contrast, breakups rarely have that same comfortable pace to them. In the OP's case, stopping the relationship was an abrupt happening, wherein the heretofore close & connected dynamic has now suddenly been required to change all at once.
No longer being in a relationship dictates that the ways in which they've grown used to interacting with e/o (e.g. all the closeness & intimate behavior, etc) must now be carried out in a significantly more limited fashion. Defining what that actually means in practice falls to the individuals involved, & there's not any precisely laid out set of standards or rulebook to reference for this sort of thing; you just gotta kinda figure out what's gonna work for you guys in your particular case as you go along.
So it's essentially having to scramble a bit to try to abruptly force or rush a[n at least *somewhat* gradual, simply by nature] process of readaptation. Knowing where you stand but not what's expected of you nor having a clear idea yet of what will/won't be acceptable between the 2 of you from now on creates a whole buttload of usually quite awkward & often fairly painful tension; arguably perhaps made worse in this instance by the breakup having taken place via text msg delivery, as that makes for such an impersonal exchange.
Anon anticipates said tension when next they see e/o. Point would be to ease it by 1) addressing rather than allowing it to remain unacknowledged & hanging in the air between you, and 2) doing so in a lightly humorous way to dispel the dread which accompanies prospects of having to face heavy emotional shit you're both still reeling from.
tl;dr Laughing & relaxed can be > anxious & uncertain for figuring out the "sooo how tf are we gonna act around e/o since we're broken up now?"
>>16905387
We work at the same company and have the same lunch breaks
>>16905394
>he shat where he eats
DINGUS
>>16905135
Just one bump. I'l post again later perhaps. Maybe I have to solve this myself.
Do women find it weird that I often give them back massages under their shirts. If I know the girl well enough I often will work my way to her butt.
No one has ever said anything about it.
>>16905233
You can't know for sure what to expect though. Typical reactions are a thing obviously, but they're typical relative to each girl or group of girls, not all girls. Some chicks, as you found with the last one, react with trepidation because they anticipate it's going to hurt like a son of a bitch trying to get that thing inside them. Others react with excitement and practically start salivating and are looking forward to getting started and banging the shit out of each other all night. To some the size is basically irrelevant because they're gonna react with "eeew penises are gross" or "holy shit, so that's what a dick looks like up close!" no matter what you might whip out. Others might react with curiosity over the whole "holy shit, so that's what a big dick looks like up close!" thing. Still others who are in the habit of poker facing everything may not even give you any readable indication of what they're thinking. Same goes for the insanely shy and/or easily embarrassed. You can try to guess which kind of girl she'll be, and it may even be the correct guess, but there's just no way to know *for sure* what to expect.
>>16905415
Are you a masseuse or do you just place random women on tables and go?
>>16905419
Nah they are just laying down somewhere near me.
>>16905427
Doesn't sound like the kind of group I can relate to.
>>16905433
Do you never lay down?
>>16905415
If someone who is not my boyfriend puts his hands under my shirt, I'd be weirded out.
>>16905396
>>16905135
Wondering what's up with someone you haven't seen in a while and wanting to catch up because they've been on your mind lately isn't weird or desperate. Allowing a great deal of/your overall sense of personal happiness to hinge on needing to get a reply back when/if you try reaching out is not good for your own emotional health and mental well-being.
Does that help you with figuring out how to proceed?
>>16905439
well you have to assume you dont have a bf
>>16905608
>>16905415
Not that anon, but even when I didn't have a boyfriend, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that
Girls
is 18 too early to make a tinder? or should I keep trying?
Haven't had any sort of relationship ever...
(haven't even kissed a girl)
A good friend of mine says that I'm just shy when it comes to talking to girls in way that lets them know I'm interested. I think however, that I just have a fear of being called creep and having rumors spread. Middle school was a brutal experience for me. I lived in Hawaii literally the only white kid in my grade and Hawaiians think people from the mainland are weird and tend to alienate them. I was never a person to really fight back so I got beat on quite a bit and developed a fear of people in general I guess.
I was only interested in a handful girls throughout high school as I really didn't care about high school drama that many of them were a part of tried to avoid it as much as I possibly could. Of the few I was interested in I couldn't pick of on any of the social queues that they showed interest and by the time I figured it out I had either moved away (military family) or they were with someone else so I would just move on.
I don't know if college will be better and it scares me. I'll be going to community for my GE then transfer to university when my step dad retires form the military.
I've been thinking about making a tinder but to be honest it kind of freaks me out.
>>16905499
Well no I'm not convinced that it's not weird but I appreciate you telling me so. Maybe I can convince myself. I'l try to think about it a lot. And yes I agree that it's not healthy. But when you've gone a decade without a hint of someone you like as much as her it does get you rather concerned about the situation emotionally. Especially when you think she might be lonely and you could help. This could be true love you know. The idea of soul mates is rather strange really but if it's a thing I can't see anyone else that fits well.
I've also thought about it a lot more formally. Visually she's pretty much identical to my mom with a palette swap. Intellectually she's also rather similar but doesn't really share the annoyances I have with mom. They play the same instrument. They have similar backgrounds, even ethnic backgrounds to some degree. It's creepy how similar it is but it's not putting me off. Freud was a weird dude but he's widely accepted and it seems to be almost entirely true in my situation.
I'm clearly obsessed. I've decided not to approach in the past before I clear that obsession up and can view her as a mortal again but it's not gonna happen it seems. Realistically I'd be disappointed right? But the ideal her is similar to what she was like, so it's not really unrealistic. I'm also afraid of not being good enough. But I think I can put that behind me. Regardless if I just try to be the best person in the universe to her that has to be good enough right? How high is the expectations on a bf/husband? I'm not sure I'd even mind having an abusive relationship with her, not that she'd ever do that but hypothetically she's more important than that. I'm really sick of myself for being such a coward and not moving forward before. She really seemed into me. I'm so risk averse.
It's nice to type this out at someone regardless of if I get help or not. I don't vent about this much because honestly it's creepy enough to warrant police intervention.
>>16903537
I think I'm friendzoning a girl? So, there is this girl at Uni, everyone says she's extremely hot, nice looking face, blonde, large breasts, etc. She's been hitting on me for weeks, I heard from some of her friends that she broke up with her BF/FWB because she's really into me and convinced that she can get me. We do hang out and she gets all flirty, but I'm really not interested in her. She's not exactly smart, and not my type either (I prefer dark hair and small/very small breasts), but I do enjoy the attention from someone who people would generally refer to as very attractive. I don't think I'm leading her on, I'm just not explicitly telling her that she has no chance. If she ever asks me directly I will tell her, but right now it's just kinda nice for me.
Am I an asshole for doing that? Am I toying with her?
Men: how do you feel when you meet a girl who's smarter than you?
>>16905992
That never happened to me so I wouldn't know. At least in general, I've met women who have been smarter in their specific subject matter, but they still seemed too emotional about it, most even admitted to being that way.
>>16905992
Smarter than me in what way, and how much smarter?
>>16905992
Unworthy usually. A little intimidated. But it depends on how you deliver that smartness. You can either just be the stiff type who points out issues and/or gives solutions in a rather neutral way. I find that very intimidating. Because first of all we haven't established who's smarter yet. I feel I have to compete. Secondly it rarely comes across as friendly as you might like. In some ways it comes out as being rather unbalanced intelligence because you don't know that you should actually be using a more pedagogic approach. That doesn't mean you baby people or anything it just means that you present your views in relation to theirs, usually as a means of showing that they're valued. That's the gist of it anyway. You say things like 'that's a great idea but..', 'haha you're being ridiculous anon the thing doesn't work like that' [gauge response] if negative you apologize and say you didn't mean to offend but.., or if it's positive you can let it slip if the response doesn't take you in a direction to elaborate. Sorry for making such a long explanation to a rather simple thing but I don't think just saying pedagogic would really help much. Point is that intelligence is less intimidating when your input is considered and you give a positive spin rather than just answering. It can be tough bring smart. This one girl I knew was just this. I wasn't interested in her but she was really great, got along well with everyone. Knew her from age 12-18 though. So it may not be applicable. But it was very clear after a while she was putting in a lot of work into being what she was. She had a bit of a breakdown one week and it didn't change much in the grand scheme of things but it was very out of character.
I'm talking about how you show yourself to be smarter in general, learn quicker and knows more. Not specific things like you know alot about his profession and is better than him at it. That's not problematic at all imo.
Question for both: What is your best way to get vagina/penis action?
Morning, day, evening, night, midnight, early mornings?
>>16905992
I really like it. It's nice to have the company of a girl who won't tell me about her purse and her dress for a change. And if you so happen to teach me something, then I'll feel lucky to have met you.
>>16906051
You know that smart girls can have an interest in clothes and makeup too, right?
>>16906062
Then they're not as smart as they think. Trust me on that one.
>>16905780
why do you suspect they dont say anything?
>>16906062
Not Jim here but yeah.
It's just that in my experience they don't have any genuine interest in it. They're interested in it to the point where it's to their advantage. They don't care beyond that and are often without makeup when expecting to be home with me. I really like that desu.
>>16905992
You probably arent. And if you consider yourself smarter Id probably hate you because it contradicts the way I see intelligence and you appear arrogant to me.
Example would be someone who knows a lot of facts. Nothing smart about memorizing facts and being able to recite it. I judge your intelligence based on your capacity of analyze things with it. So unless you can prove that your ability is higher than someone elses than you are both the same to me.
>>16906066
I don't care enough about this to argue, but I know for a fact that you're wrong.
>>16906073
I know some super smart girls who actually do have a genuine interest in it. One of my friends is one of the top students in her class at law school (and has been an overachiever her whole life), and she's the type who likes to go shopping and play around with makeup in her spare time.
My best friend is a girl and we've been having sex about 3 times a week for a few months now. I constantly tell her that I don't want a girlfriend and she's ok with that, but we've been apart for a week now during spring break and I've realized I do want a girlfriend just not her. I plan on telling her that I don't want to continue being physical with her, but she's my best friend and obviously she'll know when I ask out a different girl so I plan on waiting at least a week.
Is a week long enough for something like that? She knows the person that I intend on pursuing but i don't think that really matters, I'm just afraid of her thinking poorly of herself/not good enough because I wouldn't date her. I don't want her making that connection even if there's some truth to it
>>16905992
You probably arent. And if you consider yourself smarter Id probably hate you because it contradicts the way I see intelligence and you appear arrogant to me.
Example would be someone who knows a lot of facts. Nothing smart about memorizing facts and being able to recite it. I judge your intelligence based on your capacity of analyze things with it. So unless you can prove that your ability is higher than someone elses than you are both the same to me. I find people who consider themselves a scholar but really only memorize facts to have this ridiculous air of arrogance about them.
>I know more about politics than you so Im smarter
Its just hubris. Go to some foreign country and imagine that they consider your intellect based on how much you know about their politics. Biased knowledge doesnt mean you are smart.
>>16906082
Getting good grades doesn't really mean anything regarding intelligence. Sure, it proves how commited and responsible you are, though.
>>16906082
>overachiever
Well you got your answer anon. What she does she does it well. It's like some guys and working out. They tone themselves to the point where there's no real gain. And a lot of effort for what they're getting.
So there's this girl who has two classes together with me. One class on MWF 11AM with just the two of us, one class on TR afternoon with me, herself and her friend.
We used to kinda see each other (she initiated first). However since valentine's day, I'm guessing she's with another guy and I feel the distance now... For some reason she doesn't want to be seen together in public now.
The problem is... She's been skipping the MWF class two classes in a row now. On Wednesday, she texted me that she slept late at night and it was already 10am when she woke up. She said she wouldn't be able to make it to class, and asked me to help her take the notes. So I said yes
On Thursday, in the class where three of us including her friend are together, she told me that she actually caught a cold yesterday which is why she slept in.
On Friday, she texted me in the morning again saying her fever is back. She asked me to take notes for her again, and also send Wednesday's notes to her. She said "thank you my friend" when I said sure.
But the weird thing is... She never actually asked me for notes afterwards. We usually just send each other pictures of the notes, but she didn't even ask for that... Does she just not need the notes immediately?
It's so fishy that it's got me wondering whether if she's actually sick, or if she's just lying to avoid sitting in lectures alone with me... How would I know?
>>16906087
>you appear arrogant
>literally a line of text is all we have
We don't even know if it's a he or she, if she's asking with regards to themselves or someone else. If they're asking the inverse question to gauge how important intelligence is. It could also be he/she has been told that they're smart or smarter and don't really know how to respond. A lot more possibilities obviously.
You're over analyzing anon.
>>16906120
Did you read my post. I put plenty of conditionals in there anon. I dont look fondly on people who cant notice things like this in points being made.
>>16906087
>You probably arent.
>you appear arrogant to me.
You do realise you're coming across as incredibly arrogant yourself, right? You are what you hate the most.
>>16906118
>thank you my friend
I suggest you avoid associating with this one anon. Shit is going down.
>>16906128
But you don't see the rather massive hostility in your post that biases you heavily towards the assertion you made at the start of your post?
That's not how you communicate with people you like. That's communicating with someone you hate.
>>16906129
No Im not. Im exactly how I wish people would act. It takes an incredible amount for me to call myself smarter than someone else and my iq is 142 and Im in grad school for physics. You people just dont know what it actually means to be smart so you look like a bunch of arrogant children to me.
>>16906149
You're adorable. You're like an angsty teenager who thinks he knows everything and everyone else knows nothing.
>>16906139
Well it's not like I'd want to date her anyway. I'm fine being friends.
It is why when we were seeing each other, I ignored her hangout ideas on the weekend... She would talk to me on Wednesday or so about how we should skate together, or I should come to this ice fair thing she's volunteering on the weekend. She didn't follow up on the idea later either, which is kinda weird... like was she expecting me to arrange it?
I just find it weird how she's changing her words... Is she just trying to avoid me or something wtf
>>16906147
I have no feelings of hatred or fondness towards anyone here. Thats just you projecting.
Oh, wow, ok, I'm >>16905992. I see my question has caused some doubts.
What happened is that was dumped. He had mentioned several times he was too stupid for me, and unworthy, and etc (he meant it academically, as not having gone to college was a big deal for him). I thought it was silly, but days later, several people confirmed he always felt bad for it.
>>16906002
>>16905997
I wanted to know what would happen if you felt she was smarter in some relevant way. How bad would it hit your self-esteem?
>>16906041
You make a good point, I hope this is not how he felt though now I have no way to know. He has not spoken to me since.
>>16906051
This is a cheerful note, and I appreciate it!
>>16906080
>>16906087
That was rude, arrogant and very assuming. Even if you did add a lot of conditionals. It was a very straightforward question, I didn't think it would generate such resentful feelings.
And thank you other anons who answered too!
>>16906154
Im 24 yrs so calling me an angsty teenager only validates my viewpoint that you are just an arrogant child.
You probably dont even know the fundamental issues with gauging intellect yet you consider yourself smart... Calling you a child is me being nice because Im forgiving that you just are ignorant. Otherwise youd be stupid to me.
>>16906174
Aww, did I hurt your feelings? I'm sowwy. I'm just a poor stupid normie, I don't understand these things the way you do.
>>16906069
They probably are comfortable with it
>>16906174
That was not me, the person who originally asked the question. But I agree that the more you speak, the more arrogant you sound Mostly because showing how smart I am was not the point of my question, despite it being the point of your answer.
>>16906187
No, my point has nothing to do with you. I dont actually care about you. Can you people not read. Its about people who consider themselves smart.
God I dont like calling people dumb but you guys are pushing it.
>>16906176
kek im too old to play with you. have fun
Why are women the shittiest communicators on the mother fucking planet?
When you want to just chill, they're all in your shit:
>Did I tell you about work blah blah blah
>Did I tell you about my favorite shitty tv show that you don't care about
>Did I tell you about how I'm feeling at each and every moment of the fucking day
But when it's time to actually have serious conversations that actually fucking matter to me:
>I'm tired
>You talk a lot
>You talk more than most men
>Let me interrupt you to tell you all of this shit as if that's going to help us communicate better
>Let me make lots of annoyed noises when I go
>"What. What do you want to talk about."
>"UGH, why are you asking so many questions."
OH so when you want to ramble on about some useless shit when I'm obviously busy and not interest, you expect me to pay attention AND OMG SO HAPPY DUUUUR but when *I* need something, you're never there like a fucking Cake song.
/rage. I'm pissed now, but... I really shouldn't be. I get hit on all the fucking time and I haven't even tried Tinder. It'll feel better in the morning. But right now i"m pissed.
>>16906193
Aww, poor baby. You're so misunderstood
>>16906193
Considering more people had trouble understanding your point that you had understanding theirs, perhaps it's you who can't write. It doesn't sound like the clear and well structured argumentation one would expect from a person with a supposedly high IQ.
>>16906206
Tell me how exactly is it now clear from my original post. The moment you read if it should have been clear.
>supposedly high IQ
If you dont understand how IQ works please do not mention it. Because then I my post will be aimed at you directly.
>>16906212
Are you really that oblivious of your own unnecessarily aggressive tone in every answer you've so far given?
>>16905992
i meet people smarter than me everyday, it doesn't mean anything
Just had a girl I met online sleep over last night. She reached the age of consent at the start of this year (not gonna go into what country, but we're not talking 18) and I'm 10 years older than her. She lost her virginity with me last night and I left her at the train station this morning satisfied and smiling. She was initially eager to have sex but had mixed feelings about doing it with someone she's not romantically involved with. We talked about it while just chilling and cuddling and she was happy we did it and didn't feel like she was going to regret it.
So, uh...did I do anything wrong? Everything seems pretty good right now, first time I ever had sex with a virgin though, feels like a mix of "That was amazing and I'm so happy she felt that way too" and "Oh god I hope she doesn't feel bad about this in the future, would feel so fucking guilty".
>>16906228
My 'aggressive tone' has no impact on the point Im making. Do you think a peson shouting louder makes their point more valid or changes it?
>>16906250
Personally, I consider the general situation immoral. And if you're feeling guilty now, it means you understand it's not quite right too.
I'd give it a pass if you didn't use alcohol, drugs or emotional manipulation and blackmail to get there (and it sounds like you didn't). These could actually mess her up eventually, but if she did it of her true own free will, and is happy, nothing to complain about this specific situation.
>>16906161
No anon if I write in a certain way to you it means something. It can be patronizing, hostile, endearing etc. Your post is certainly looking hostile to me and seemingly to that other anon. How you structure a post and what words you choose is important.
>>16906250
Eh, if she was fine about it, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. I agree a little with >>16906259 though, there's something about this whole thing that makes me uneasy. Two consenting adults is fine and all, but I can't help but think that there's something off about this. I don't mean to say you're lying about her enjoying it or whatever, but I don't know what it is that's making me hesitate saying that it's 100% okay
>>16906253
Makes it unpleasant mostly. In your case though, it invalidates it completely for sounding like an attack based off so many assumptions, or conditionals, or whatever you want to call, that aren't remotely true of the inquirer. In the end you didn't answer her question, and talked about a character your built in your head. So all your rant was pointless.
>>16906274
>it invalidates it completely
Logical fallacy. Not even worth wasting my time there
It answers the question as well. It is my exact thought process when I meet someone 'smarter' than me.
>>16906272
To put in words what I find immoral is that age of consent doesn't mean a person is an actual adult, or perfectly capable to understand and assume the full consequences of every decision they make. For a teenager to have relations with someone who is 10 years older just means they were not in the same maturity ground and is unfair to them, even if they can't see it.
>>16906278
Not her but.
Yeah if you're doing the fallacy fallacy. It's not realistic to claim that the logical structure of your post is all that matters. That's not how we humans operate. You come off as bias and that's what 'invalidates' (poor choice of word imo) the post. Because we're looking for advice, not your opinions. At least I separate it that way. You're seemingly (because we can only judge from what you're saying) not distancing yourself enough and generally that's the main benefit of asking for advice. Someone who can tell you their ideas in your best interest honestly. Add visible bias to that and it doesn't work. It's like if someone asked only girls to answer and you come being male and says something. Sure nobody would complain here, we'd ignore it. But it's not what was asked for.
>>16906283
Yeah, I think the difference in age is what's concerning me most. I can't help but think that there was some sort of exploitation or manipulation or taking advantage of her, even if it wasn't intention or even conscious. Two 16 year olds having sex is different because they're equally stupid, but surely a 26 year old would know that there's so much of a difference in maturity that to sleep with her would be taking advantage of her immaturity.
Do guys give a shit if you see a girl's nails are painted? Do you prefer them to be not painted?
>>16906283
>not mature enough at 18
I don't know anon. 18 is pretty darn old. If you haven't grown up enough by then to view your virginity realistically then I don't know when you will. All anon can go on is her reactions. Girls generally don't kind age, some find it attractive. I don't see what the major concern is still other than anon feeling very guilty because he has been fed fairytales about how your first is supposed to be from people who never had the fairytale. Anon is likely special to her in his own way.
>age difference
I don't recognize the point that the age difference matters. Contrast anon here to some horny teen. What's the difference? Anon is better at sex most likely. The difference in maturity doesn't really seem to matter. You'd have to substantiate that view.
I'm very interested in a man who I have known for a few months and it's been subtly hinted that there is a mutual interest, there's one issue however: He's afraid of my age. More specifically, I'm 23 and he's 32.
He comments all the time how adorable he thinks I am, that I brighten his day when he sees me, etc. but it doesn't seem to be going past that.
Am I wasting my time here? I feel like if he really wanted to pursue anything further it would have happened by now.
Op grace me with your testosterone. So I'm really bright silly apparently ditzy personality. Just I feel my personality and eagar awkwardness seem to just get in the way when it comes to socializing in general but mainly guys. I want to know what's a good way to not come off so "ditzy" and too silly when around guys I'm really really really smart and shit but how can I convey that
>>16906336
Is your first initial T and his M?
>>16906324
Not painted. There's certain colors that are a bit cheesy to me. Like red but I don't care for the most part. But I don't even like jewelry, piercings or tattoos so I'm a bit extreme.
I'd rather get to the party on time with you if that's a factor.
>>16906343
>I'm really really really smart and shit
Sure you are.
>>16906344
No, sorry.
>>16906349
Lel fml
Something I would say and how it would come out as
Girls, sorry for the bible. Greentexting for easier reading.
Friend A, Friend B, and I have hung out since we were young teens. Lets call them Peter and Paul respectively for storytelling purposes.
>these days we do a kickback 2-3 times a month at Peter's house
>his girl invites over two friends this time (stereotypical looking hot blonde, very cute brunette)
>Paul and I are single
>I always prefer "real" girls, don't find model-level women as attractive
>Paul likes the hot blonde
>I like the cute brunette, who said I was "tall, cute, and sexy"
>have fun, drink until 2AM
>Paul hooks up with the hot blonde
>been a while and my games rusty, no hookup for me but got the digits
>fast forward a week
>all of us hanging out again at Peter's
>Paul's all over hot blonde again
>all I know is they fucked, dont know if dating so brocode in effect
>fine by me, like cute brunette anyways so I try to up my game
>go out for a smoke
>Peter's girlfriend (known her for years) and hot blonde come out
>hot blonde sits closely next to me
>we shoot the shit about nothing in particular
>hot blonde begins rubbing her leg against mine
>Peter's girlfriend says "Anon, you are without a doubt the nicest person I've ever met in my life."
>"Th-"
>hot blonde says "Aww...", puts her hand on my shoulder twirling my hair with her fingers (she mentioned before she liked my long hair) and then starts rubbing my thigh
>look over at her as she gives me a wicked stare and smile
>Paul comes out immediately after and she brings her hands back
>he sits next to her and puts his arm around her shoulder
>she's still rubbing against my leg like a fiend
>liquor induced brocode fuckup -- i start rubbing back with mine
(1/2)
>>16906350
Don't be sorry. I thought you were my friend, who is your same age and definitely needs to get over her crush on her 32 year old coworker.
Honestly it seems like he's interested based on what you said, and in my experience, guys care far less than women about age differences. What you described doesn't indicate he's afraid of your age.
Things my friend's coworker has said to her that indicates he isn't interested based on age difference:
>My generation had ...
>When you get older, you ...
>(insert 80s pop culture reference), but you probably don't know what that is
Girls:
What can a guy message you on Tinder or Okcupid to make you want to talk to him?
>>16906358
(2/2)
>couple minutes later we all go back in and resume beer pong/music
>ask cute brunette if she wants to smoke a bowl, she says yes, and we do
>haven't gotten laid in a year
>imgivingherallshe'sgotcaptain.jpg
>talk about general shit we didn't talk about previous week, we actually have a lot in common and she seems really cool
>start flirting and touching but not aggressively enough, in retrospect
>few minutes later she backs off again, cold as ice
>should have gone for it
>god fucking dammit whyyyyyyy
>go back out to beer pong
>Paul sitting on couch with hot blonde and talking, his hands stroking her back
>she looked half bored
>i put on some old rap
>she gets up and starts dancing, giving me that mischievous stare and smile again
>go dance even though I'm awful at it because I'm pissed, blue balled, and couldn't care less
>Paul goes to grab a beer
>hot blonde turns around and starts grinding on me with max effort
>just stand there for a few seconds
>alcohol and blue ball anger take over again
>say "fuck it" to myself, grind back something fierce
>Paul returns and sits back on the couch a few minutes later
>I stop grinding back and feel like a douche
>song ended, and we all sat down and smoked another bowl, and then I left
>text cute brunette the next day
>back and forth for an hour and a half or so
>say I enjoy hanging out and talking with her, and then say that we should hang out this week sometime
>no response
>text Paul an apology after
>"for what"
>"for grinding up on hot blonde, you seem to like her"
>"she's okay, we're just friends. just got shitfaced and fucked once or twice."
>"so nothing serious?"
>"nah"
>grinchsmile.png
After 2 kickbacks of me dropping my spaghetti inches from the finish line is it possible for me to turn things around with cute brunette? I'm more attracted to her and have a lot in common with her. Or should I just go for hot blonde to fuck around with and not waste my time bothering since I fucked up twice already?
>>16906303
>fallacy fallacy
Calling out a fallacy is not a fallacy. You cant emotionally chose whats a fallacy and whats not.
>You come off as bias
Thats your own fault. If you quit with the logical fallacies youd be able to understand what the people around you are saying.
>Because we're looking for advice, not your opinions
I answered the question. The question did not ask for advice.
>You're seemingly (because we can only judge from what you're saying) not distancing yourself enough and generally that's the main benefit of asking for advice
The question literally ask for a personal response for a particular person. Are you trying to get me to attack you.
If you arent willing to accept an answer to your question dont ask it. biased acceptance of answers is the real problem. It feels like you just cant comprehend it because of your own biased preconceptions. As if I hit a nerve.
>>16906345
Really? That's interesting about not liking jewelry. Is there a particular reason?
Getting ready on time isn't a factor in this scenario. My question came up because one of my guy friends said he thinks it looks childish when women have painted nails, which was baffling to me. The only other guy I can ask this question to without seeming weird is my friend's husband, who loves when she has bright red nails because they're into vintage shit. So I wanted some less biased answers.
>>16906324
Not particularly.
Why does gentrify and epiphany sound like they came from a vagina?
Or is it just me?
>>16906343
Calm down if you feel you're getting actively stupid. I've never judged a girls smarts based on how she's expressing herself. I focus on what she's actually saying.
I can't speak for every man but I think we're attracted to stupid and very smart on a more base level. Stupid is easier to mate with, smart is just better. I don't think it'd be a problem in dating unless he's just after sex because he likely gets to know you better on a date or something.
Then again if he's super serious about relationships and is aiming to marry his next girlfriend he probably don't want to waste time on someone stupid.
Can't help your problems directly, I also lose 50IQ points when around a girl I don't know super well.
>>16906375
I think it's just you.
>>16906361
Ah! Well, I suppose part 2 of my question would be if I should be blunt with this guy and tell him straight?
He has mentioned that 23 and 32 is a huge difference in age, and while he claims that I am very mature for my age, he simply says that "23 is still a child." I don't completely disagree.
I'd like to mention that he doesn't initiate conversation on social media at all.
>>16906379
Ooooooooookkkkkk I see now thankyou op!!!! it makes sense when you say when you focus on what is said and so forth. Ihope you gain the 50 IQ you lost with me hope they weren't virgin.
>>16906329
18 year-olds are children depending on their parents nowadays. You have the right to feel that way anon, but I hardly know any responsible, wise and mature 18 year old. Specially that in this case, she wasn't even 18, as that's not the age of consent in his country.
Having sex with someone younger is just a little unfair, you're not in the same ground in any possible way.
It's not a crime, yeah, but I find it immoral either way.
And if you find it ok, you should consider if you aren't thinking too much with your penis, and completely disregarding her as a person (which I'm led to believe due to your concern about how age would affect her beauty).
>>16906375
>>16906381
Same thing with gender and cream.
They really do sound vaginay.
>>16906394
Personally I think it's too large an age difference at your age. If you were 27 or 28 I think it would be more acceptable.
Since he's your coworker, I would avoid initiating anything because it could make things awkward or unpleasant, but it's up to you. If you are alright with handling the fallout and just want a definite answer, maybe it would be better for you to know his real answer to telling him you're really interested in him.
Btw it's not unusual for him to never initiate anything on social media. Some people don't like using it and just have their accounts up for keeping in contact with other people's lives, and use texting for actual communication.
>>16906412
cream makes a bit more sense considering what actually comes out of (and into, ha) vaginas. Gender, epiphany, and gentrify all have soft 'e' sounds and the downward tilt of the 'n' sound, which I guess you're correlating with ladyparts?
What do women think of men who wear makeup
>>16906426
Maybe.
Maybe.
Or its gay, I don't know.
>>16906371
I'm not sure why I dislike jewelry as much as I do, but it's likely not normal. Metallic stuff in general doesn't appeal to me at all, I dislike keys for similar reasons. Fine with coins though. It's really odd. I think piercings are mainly just ugly. Can't recall if I liked any. Tattoos are the most ok between the three. I'd rather they're not there but it's not really gonna change my mind about anything. I probably wouldn't want to go down on someone with a piercing in the nethers, but maybe that's prejudice. Because I don't find (most) vaginas that pretty either way so that doesn't change much.
Jewelry just doesn't allow me to get close somehow. And we're not talking crosses here. Just plain rings and necklaces, even bracelets and beads are a bit off putting. It's not limited to metals at all. The best I've seen is a silver necklace made from remains of silver used when developing film. Like with darkroom and stuff. It was refined, design is really nice and it was from my dad to my mom, legend says all he used was the silver from photos with her on it. Still don't like the chain though. Some emotional bond to that necklace though. Security in that they wouldn't divorce I think. Unlike some wedding ring.
So yeah, weird. Probably should ignore my opinion on that.
>>16906400
>age would affect beauty
It tends to. Not always.
>disregarding her as a person
Don't quite see the connection between these two but I agree that it's kinda immoral to disregard someone in your interaction with that person. Regardless if it's sex or not.
>>16906324
Not a guy, but I love doing my nails, often with a bit of nail art. My boyfriend loves it and I get more compliments from men than women.
How friendzoned am I if a girl shows me the clothes she just bought
>>16906458
Irrelevant.
>>16906432
Guys who wear eyeliner are hot. But this is socially acceptable in the circles I run in, so...
>>16906451
That reminds me how on Monday I was on the train home and the conductor was checking passes, and complimented a girl's nails. But then he asked her how much they cost. That was odd.
>>16906462
I sometimes get asked who did my nails when they're longer or have a more intricate design, or sometimes people as if they're those Jamberry wraps that are pretty popular at the moment. Everyone and their mother seems to be a nail technician these days and pretty much everyone gets their nails done by someone else, I'm not surprised people assume that a girl with nice nails paid for them.
>>16906470
No I meant I was surprised he asked her how much they cost. It seemed a bit awkward to ask a stranger how much they paid for something in front of all these other people, especially because they looked like expensive acrylics with hand-painted line art and glitter tips.
i got her number she didnt get mine
I texted her and she texted back
Is this a good start?
>>16906443
Anon seems to be claiming it's ok to have sex with them as they are still young because then they won't be beautiful. This does mean to disregard her as a person, as appearance is the only thing he seems to be seems to taken into account, or at least putting it as the top priority
>>16906474
It's fine.
>>16906474
>>16906477
Meaning she got your number and didn't give you a fake one
>>16906473
I suppose that is a bit weird, but not really unprovoked (not the right word but it's late and I can't think of it right now)
>>16906476
Not sure how you got that. I accidentally swapped age and kind, type too fast. But if what she wanted was just sex then her sex appeal is certainly relevant because it determines how far she can reach towards her ideal, both physically and mentally. It doesn't look like it's a real relationship because I really don't understand anon-who-was-concerneds concerns then if it is (dumping her after would be very rude and no question a bad thing). So sex is in focus here for both of them.
Why do women ask to "take a break" from ongoing relationships and then proceed to treat it as an actual break-up?
How likely is a woman who spent 5 years in a relationship to pick up that relationship again?
>>16906514
They don't like you enough and want to find out their dating market value to see if they can get better. Sounds like /r9k/ cynicism but it's the truth breh.
>how likely
How likely is it that she finds someone better than you that she can be convinced (with her hubris in mind) will stay with her? That's the inverse of your chances.
>>16906521
Her new bf is someone she met playing Dark Souls so I highly doubt he's better than me physically or mentally. Perhaps more emotionally stable, which was the big breaking point in our ongoing relationship, but it wasn't anything too trifling. The biggest fault lies with her though.
From what I can tell they're in a long-distance relationship but they're planning to close the gap in a year or so while he moves into the same college town as her.
I'm 90% sure she's a narcissist, and she's toxic as shit.
In all likelihood its going to fall apart within a year. She's bipolar depressive, on heavy medication, abuses drugs and alcohol constantly, and has zero friends outside of her little harem online, and since I've cut all ties with her since I found out she no longer considered us a thing, she's been getting worse from what I can glean from her mom.
She's too prideful/moronic to go back, so she's probably going to try swallowing another bottle of pills again- and I doubt whatever cunt from online who's only connection they share are bands and liking vidya is going to stick through that.
I feel better, thanks.
>>16904621
Akward yes. But not unusual. Just try to act as frindly as possible and make it clear that you have zero interest.
