I've overcome my mental illness, am into prostitutes, and unconventional sexual practices.
However, when I try to imagine my future partner, my daydream is always about somebody who is NOT into all the shit I am into. It doesn't need to be "pure" or "innocent", but I'd love someone who is outside my circles.
However, if possible candidates look somebody who is similar to them, they will.never pay attention to me.
I don't know what to do. I am enjoying my world, but am craving to just have a normal relationship with a simple girl. I am ready to go full vanilla for such a unicorn, but is it okay to deny who I really am?
>>16903086
>look somebody
*look for
Good luck with all that, ho.
>>16903086
you'll need common interests. If it's not gonna be the kinky stuff you're into, then what other interests do you have?
>>16903129
I read, I do martial arts... some indoor activities.
I like the outdoors but need somebody to introduce me to camping and shit.
I also write poetry but now am.absorbed by academic duties.
Basically, I can be a nerd about a lot of stuff.
But these interests (paired with my anxiety, which now is fortunately over) have always kept girl away from me.
Best success I had was by repressing things. At first they say they love my enthusiasm, because everyone who heard me describing or saw me doing something I like tells there is no hint of arrogance but just love for it.
So, girls say they love this aspect of me. However, dealing with me on a daily basis is a pain in the ass.
Consequently, as I said, I had the greatest success when I took little steps to introduce a girl to something. Very little steps.
But sometimes after sex I get carried away, because I feel free and transparent, but my transparency scares people.
[continued]
[Continued from >>16903186 ]
One of the most frequent reasons of rejection (5/5 gf or relationships) is:
"I love you and you are one of the dearest persons I have ever met. But I am confused about my feelings for you. I am too attracted and am losing sight of what I had planned to do with my life".
Basically, this goes down to the good ol'idea of the friendzone: I am *perfect* but they wish they were not attracted to me because physical attraction gets in the way of the kind relationship they are looking for.
I won't lie, anon. To me, all these justifications sound a bit too bogus. Since they like me intellectually, why do they see physical attraction as an obstacle?
I would understand: "You have a beautiful mind, but you're ugly as fuck". This I understand.
But what about: "You have a beautiful mind, but the fact I want your dick in me is getting in the way of a healthy relationship".
I wouldn't believe statements like the above if I hadn't heard them myself with my very ears.
Hence, either they are a bit confused (charitable interpretation) or they are making up an excuse.
Either way, I am not getting the true feedback that might help me grow, so I am left wondering what's wrong with me or my actions.
I tried everything: reassuring, not insisting, insisting, changing pace, leaving her alone. Nothing works. It's like hitting a wall.
I know this shit sounds extremely complex, and it is. But mates, please understand: 5 out of 5 the same situation with girls.
