Help with a girl
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Here's the situation, guys.
There is a girl I want to be romantically involved with. There are significant pros and cons to her that I will list so I don't have to type out some story.
Pros:
Kind, caring, overly supportive
Politically/socially/spiritually aligned with me
Understanding and "gets" me
Interested in business like I am
Reads a lot
Very smart
Cons:
Has two kids (that are surprisingly very well-behaved)
Is about five years older than me
Smokes occasionally
Slight emotional trauma due to ex (baby daddy)
Not a 10/10 for me physically (but still someone I enjoy sexually)
Sort of a tramp
We have been talking about getting serious for a while, but it is a strange situation because I have always lived in extreme wealth and affluence while she has always lived in extreme poverty. She has a fractured family while mine is very close and stable. She has had a very dark past while mine has been very smooth. I feel like we can be compatible, she is very smart academically and she is getting better about being mature and putting her life back on track. However the situation with her kids has me on guard, and I don't honestly know if I want to be with someone with that much baggage. Can anyone give me any guidance?
Unless you're willing to make sacrifices, it's not going to work. She has everything to gain by being with you and you have a lot to lose. If your status is more important to you, don't do it.
>>16902233
My status is important, btu we talk about this a lot. She is willing to do whatever to support me if we are serious.
Getting with a single mother is one of the worst decisions you will ever make
>always be second, third, or fourth in her life
>when it comes down to it your feelings don't mean shit
>You are on the sidelines watching a family, you aren't a family
>no matter how shitty the kids are you will never be there dad and can never tell them what to do
Single parents should date other single parents
That being said, if you can deal with all of this without any resentment by all means go for it
>>16902216
>Has two kids
run
>>16903220
Mmm, I agree for the most part, but my situation growing up was the opposite.
I treat my step dad like my father if not better. Both my father and step dad were in my life and got along fine. Then again my parents stopped dating on mutual terms very early in my life, like a year after I was born. But I'm close enough to my SD that I'm going to have my kids treat him like a granddad.
I'm not saying being a step dad isn't extra emotional bullshit but its reasonable, depending on a specific situation. Idk maybe my situation is an anomaly. If I were you though, I wouldn't do it.
OP here.
She's such a wonderful girl and I like her a lot. But there's so much baggage and I want to be able to do things. I feel like I am giving up my freedom in exchange for a family, and I am not sure if I can justify it.
Anyone else have anything to contribute?
Two kids and an ex. Been there. Done that. Living hell.
>>16902216
>Has two kids
why are you even thinking about this
>>16902216
>Has two kids
Why take on unnecessary baggage?
