My husband teaches at a high school. He loves posting photos on Facebook, particularly photos of our two kids. Since he posts so much stuff on FB, I don't really pay attention to who is liking his stuff. Anyway, one day I accidentally saw his FB chatbox (whatever it is called) when he was logged into FB. Apparently he kept in contact with this girl who graduated two years ago and they tend to message each other around once a month or a bit longer than that. It appears that she sometimes likes his stuff on Facebook too, but she never likes his family photos. Should I be worried that my husband is interested in her? I think it is pretty obvious that this girl has some feelings for my husband - most high school graduates couldn't care less about their former teachers.
>>16898949
What is their conversation be like?
>>16898949
>they tend to message each other around once a month or a bit longer than that.
if they really liked each other, there chats would be more frequent
/thread
>>16898953
TV shows, books, hobbies etc as well as my husband occasionally mentioning our kids and her updating him on her college life.
>>16898956
It used to be more frequent. Right after she graduated, it was almost once or twice a day. It then became once a week, once every two weeks, and now once every month or even less frequent.
I graduated just over half a decade a go, and while you're correct that /most/ kids don't give a shit, kids who had a good friendship with their teachers and decided to stay in contact weren't unheard of.
Keeping in contact once a month or so is also not really a frequency of communication you maintain if you're pursuing a relationship - if she's two years out of high school she's probably just under/over 20, girls that age aren't subtle.
From those perspectives, it doesn't really seem like there's any reason to be concerned.
How do you feel looking at it in that light?
>>16898957
you're literally fucking crazy. they hardly speak. i feel sorry for your husband. you have extreme paranoia. Its just generic pleb talk.
Some students bond with their favorite teachers and get better for it and ger inspiration
Our social classes teacher even hosted a party back when I was in high school. He was an awesome animated teacher that obviously loved his subject and we all loved him for it. And some kept contact with him for a couple of years afterwards
>>16898958
I think you shouldn't worry about it then. Seriously. He's not interested in fucking her.
>>16898959
>>16898960
It's just a bit odd. I mean, people say that a girl and a guy keeping in touch can never be just "friends". I think my husband also kept in touch with another student. That student is a guy though.
Male teacher here. I've done this with ex-students but it's always been out of a sense of obligation. I don't go out of my way to send messages but I'll always respond to a student. I don't know your husband but it sounds innocent enough to me.
>>16898958
come on. Some students create great friendships with their teacher and they like staying in contact.
>>16898961
I know that my husband likes what he teaches, but still, messaging the girl like that is a bit unprofessional.
>>16898949
I don't think so I'm still in contact with my female professors from high school and it isn't anything sexual.
>>16898968
>great friendships
Teachers and students can't just be "friends". Too much of an age gap and the teacher is in a position of authority.
>>16898966
you are not looking at this from your husbands perspective. It would disrespectful if he said "i can't talk to you anymore, my wife think i want to fuck you". His students are probably messaging him and he feels obliged to respond.
>>16898966
My experience is to the contrary of that, I've got multiple female friends and I'm not interested in pursuing either a romantic or a sexual relationship with them.
You've also just set a precedent for the same thing happening with an even lower chance of any romantic/sexual interest.
Let's not forget, your husband's day job is to deal with pubescent girls. Presuming he's a reasonably attractive man, and remembering earlier that I said girls (or kids generally) that age aren't subtle about it, he's probably entirely used to brushing off the awkward, naive flirtations of hormonal children.
If that's something that concerns you, how would you feel about talking with him about it?
>>16898973
>His students are probably messaging him
And why would that girl do that unless if she has a crush on him?
>>16898974
My husband isn't that hot. He showed me photos of the staff at school and desu there are hotter teachers working there.
Should I talk to him about it?
>>16898949
I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to setup a threesome and teach that naughty girl a lesson...
>>16898969
It's really not and happens everywhere. Shame about the whole paranoid, jealous wife thing, though. Seems like a nice guy, could probably do better.
>>16898980
Seriously, why the heck would that girl keep in touch with a male teacher UNLESS she has a crush on him?
>>16898985
good conversation. anyway, why do you even care? other women are always going to like your husband. its your husbands responsibility to not cheat.
>>16898978
Maybe the girl just didn't have a strong male figure in her life. He's not trying to cuck you, if he were you'd have seen tons of dick and titty pics.
>>16898989
>good conversation
So that's the reason? I don't think a "good" conversation is possible between a teacher and one of the kids he taught.
>>16898978
Well from what you've said so far it's clearly something that's concerning you, do you think it would be a topic he would want to talk about?
>>16898993
Ugh, that girl sometimes mentions her family life. She doesn't seem like one of those kids where her parents ignored her.
Christ, he's doing nothing inappropriate. Leave him alone and sort your paranoia and insecurity out.
>>16898998
I don't know. I don't want the conversation to make things worse.
>>16898995
It absolutely is, because I've done it and I've seen other people do it.
At this point, you're starting to really lock yourself into the position of "she's the student and he's the teacher".
In reality, while most students have the typical shitty attitude towards their teachers, there are kids who genuinely respect their teachers, and value their friendship (albeit professional in nature) and advice.
>>16898956
I've kept in contact with several of my old HS teachers...male and female alike. No sexual feelings for any of them. They were simply great people and I wanted to keep in touch. Let it go.
>>16899004
It just seems a bit strange for a student to befriend a teacher.
>>16899059
Unusual? Yes.
Conspicuous or incriminating? No.
>>16899118
I bet this unusual relationship between my husband and that girl is because she has a crush on him.
I'm pretty sure she had or still has a crush on him, especially since you said it used to be once a day/week when it started. He's being polite and replying to her so I bet he's not being shitty on his end. It's just her.
There were like 4-6 girls in my high school who had major crushes on our weird, Christian AP bio teacher. Dude didn't even believe one evolution. But he headed the Christian club and girls got obsessed with him to the point of friending him on Facebook (he should not have allowed this before the graduated) and printing out pictures of his wife to pass around and make fun of. It was even more fucked up because she had just given birth to their first kid. But these girls were infatuated.
Tl;dr highschool girls can be ducking crazy but it seems like your husband is trustworthy if he not messaging her creepy hit back. He's simply replying due to social obligation.
>>16898958
That sounds normal.
Some kids dont have friend of family support and a teacher is there for them. I don't use facebook but when I went on to grad school I still liked to email my old advisor maybe three times a year. That went down to once to zero.
Sounds like she was a bit lonely and needed someone until she got on her feet.
As for not liking the family photos I am positive there is some strange youth logic to that ("i dont want my prof to think im a stalker" or something like that(
>>16898969
I think teachers friending kids on facebook is the most unprofessional thing ever
Esp in high school!!!!
>>16899187
The girl took a gap year and in her messages she said that she was "bored of her retail jobs".
>>16899191
I think he added her as a friend after she graduated. How can I check this on FB?
>>16899169
And that is what I am wary of. But since the girl still messages him, surely she still has a crush on him?
>>16899187
Thats horrible.
I hate when people make fun of someone's spouse and to be passing around photos of someone who just gave birth and being dick...
It is so hard to go from
Being a glowing pregnant woman to people wanting you to have lost ALL your preggo weight and then some within 2 weeks. People say the shittiest things and I am sure those little "Christian" girls had no love in their hearts.
Also what is up with all these profs friending studetns?!?
Put your dang FB on private
>>16899203
I dont know how you check that stuff
Let it go
>>16899207
>Let it go
Why though? It just seems so fishy. I am sure that the girl fancies my husband.
>>16898995
Uh, yeah it is, what the fuck am I reading?
>>16899215 look on google. I know there's a way to see from when the friendship started but I dint remember.
I think you have to look on his timeline the publication that says anon started a friendship with anonete. But I'm not sure.
>>16899059
>>16899118
Teacher from earlier in the thread here. Literally every educator I've ever met has formed long term friendships with one or two past students into adulthood. This is not unusual or uncommon in the least.
>>16899215
Who gives a crap
Someone cant "fancy" your husband??
She has the right to fancy whoever the heck she pleases
>this thread again
seriously, divorce. youre too crazy for companionship
>>16899222
It is kind of unusual.
>>16899227
Ok google tells me that this is not possible.
>>16899251
I don't like it. What if my husband is tempted by her?
>>16899258
This is the first time I've posted this.
>>16898966
You know what is odd? The fact it took you some 10 years to realize your husband has some interests, a working life, and keep in touch with people without the need to update you on every shitty message he receives.
Your feelings are primarily information about how you feel, and not about how facts are.
Admit it. Would you be outraged or relieved to discover he cheats on you? In a sense, it seems implied you want him to be a cheater, somehow. Maybe you feel.guilty about something or maybe you don't disdain the idea he might still be popular with 20 y.o. lasses.
Or maybe you feel something is not workint so it must be cheating. I'm not saying you're the only responsible. Maybe your feels are legit, but it is just the way you represent the danger that is mistaken.
>>16898978
>My husband isn't that hot. He showed me photos of the staff at school and desu there are hotter teachers working there.
>Should I talk to him about it?
Maybe he is just helping her with references to enter a good college and this is just follow up and feedback.
For fucks sake, when I support someone's application for college I'd rather keep on touch with them.
>>16898995
Yeah, this message signals she is either stupid or a troll.
For.me this thread is over.
Just another Anglo bitch who thinks through stereotypes.
>I didn't give a fuck about my teachers
>So why should other students give a fuck about my husband, who is a teacher.
Please let your paranoia destroy his life, your life, and that of your kid. We really need another broken family just because somebody didn't learn how to manage stress, rely on supporting evidence, trust her partner, and avoid confirmation bias. Please go on and make a mess.
Talking to him about your fears would be the best way to create a new bond and fuel trust.
But please disregard this last suggestion because it is clear you have already decided what the facts are in your mind, and are already shielding yourself from reasonable alternatives.
>>16899002
Conversation will make things worse only if you entrench yourself and approach dialogue by being ready for triggering when things don't want as you expect.
Please disregard the fact communication is vital for a couple. Please keep fuelling your self-defeating doubts and please do not try to politely confront him while you cuddle and do not try to face reality.
>>16899148
And even so?
Does this mean your hubby is cheating?
You are mixing the two concept.
Do you know his barista is so much into him that she would bang him on the table in front of other customers?
He is aware of that, but does not go beyond it.
>she has a crush on him
>she writes him
>he answers politely but keeps it casual
>OMG this is his fault
Women logic.
>>16899203
>I think he added her as a friend after she graduated. How can I check this on FB?
You don't.
That's infringement of privacy.
The end doesn't justify the means.
How comes you feel entitled to investigate?
Will you also read your son's text messages to make sure their girlfriends are not cheating on them?
>>16899215
>Why though? It just seems so fishy. I am sure that the girl fancies my husband.
Okay but we shifted problem here.
Thread was:
>maybe he's cheating on me
Now:
>maybe she fancies him
So what? Are you gonna write her or take action? Are you his secretary who needs to keep the books in order?
>>16898949
Some teachers are really cool and worth keeping in contact with. Like the art teacher. Others can fuck off normally though.
>>16899271
>I don't like it. What if my husband is tempted by her?
So why don't you cut off his dick?
Problem solved.
OP kill yourself pls. I've seen this exact same thread atleast twice already
>>16899008
Same here and I graduated in 2003, I had some amazing teachers that I've kept in touch with over the years. Hell after the birth of my oldest child I took him to my high school so those teachers could meet him.
>>16898949
From all I've read the conversations are not sexual in nature so don't worry about. If you can't get over it just bring it up nonchalantly like "I saw you were messaging so and so, how is she?" And gauge his reaction. From what I can tell you've looked pretty far back into his messages with her and if you didn't find anything incriminating , you're just insecure AF.
You keep repeating that you think she has a crush on him or that he's interested in cheating despite considerable advice to the contrary. If you are not going to listen, or at least elaborate and delve deeper into why you feel this way, why keep posting?
I am 29. I graduated high school 12 years ago, and some of my old teachers I STILL talk to and go visit, 3 in particular. They are inspirational to me still, and I can trust them for advice. It was especially nice in early college when life wasn't so clear to me and I knew I had mentors I could trust that weren't my parents. Most kids that age don't have a ton of adult relationships they can trust, teachers are often it.
That's not even mentioning my middle school teacher that I'm still super close friends with. He asked me to speak at his funeral when that comes around eventually, but he certainly doesn't have ulterior motives.
