>got kicked out of college
>diagnosed with anxiety disorder
>had to move back home with my parents
>started smoking weed everyday which hindered my maturity and made my anxiety worse
>buried in student loan debt
>can't defer because my parents consigned on my loans since I had no credit
>fast forward 7 years later
>still no degree because I can't afford it
>still living with my parents because I can't afford a place of my own
>quit smoking weed and my attitude has improved way more
>got a decent job at a call center, but I get paid only enough to get by
>no girlfriend
>last one broke up with me because I'm a loser
>addicted to cigarettes
>overweight
>has abnormal and scattered interests, making me relatable to practically nobody
>conservative values, which is a big turn off where I'm living
>has maybe 2 real friends who I rarely ever see
>mfw
What should I do?
inb4 kill yourself, there's only one thing the dead know: it's better to be alive
play video games?
read anything you like?
put some money on random homeless dude/charity?
i dont know, it works for me.
how old are you anyway
>>16898262
I'd start focusing on yourself first. First quit the cig habit (I'm proud of you for quitting weed) and start working out to get healthy and lose weight. See a psychiatrist to try different anxiety meds til you get one that works for your body. Keep up developing your interests, just so you have hobbies to look forward to. This in itself is a huge first step.
Once you seem to get your physical shit together and start to mentally rebuild, start taking some classes at community college for the sake of learning new things - not for the sake of going back to college. Just for learning new things and seeing what it's like to be around other people in a class setting again. Take stuff you never would have thought you'd be interested in. And if it turns out you really dislike a particular class, just drop it. No problem. CC classes are cheap anyway. So exploring your own interests through some classes is step two.
Step three is finding a part time job. Just some minimum wage type shit to make a little bit of your own money, and something that still gives you time to pursue a few classes but provides a distraction from schoolwork. Even try different jobs if you like. I worked at a cafe and then did some office assistant type shit once I got sick of food service. Try new things but be a good employee. Having a job will teach you new skills that school can't.
Step 4 is looking at your current life. See how you're doing. Acknowledge that you are now stable. Now you can begin to address where you want to go in life. You have proven to yourself that you can manage different settings: school, work, home life, etc. Now you can figure out what you want to do with yourself, whatever that may be. Maybe you want to go back to college. Maybe you want to find a job.
I should tell you that I wrote this >>16898358 based on the fact my story was the same as yours up til the 7 years part.
Switch that with 5 years and I'm now back in university. I still have bad days, but I'm functional again. I have hope for you too, anon, but you basically just have to put in a lot of work and try completely new things in order to get new perspectives. Try shit just for the sake of trying shit, because life can always get worse, and you need to find ways to make yours get better.
