Does anyone have or know someone who has borderline personality disorder? What's it like, both to have it and to observe someone who has it? I suspect I might have it.
>when I feel I've humiliated myself, my immediate reaction is to punch myself in the head, when I was young and I felt bad about myself I would hit myself in the head with a textbook, one time I considered using a hammer
>I've never really been in a relationship, but in high school I would idealize and obsess over crushes and would feel terrible when they didn't feel the same way, one time I squeezed my neck really tight so that it left a sensitive spot for years
>get really offended at minor insults
>bad at meeting people because I am worrying about what they're thinking: if they really want to hang out with me or if they like making fun of me
>I'm really quiet and I hate when people tell me because I'm ashamed of it feels like the worst possible thing in the world
>terrible self-image
People with border line personality disorder draw people to them. You sound just like you are insecure which I do not blame you for because men have a lot of hardships now a days. Amon time to work on yourself and move forward. As for self harming could be a nervous tick I have one of those I itch my head until it bleeds. So.e conselling may help you into the right direction.
>>16894187
Ah, okay thanks.
>>16894190
No worries hope things work out better for you Anon I know that feel.
I dated a girl with borderline personality disorder for 3 years. I don't think you have it, because borderline personality disorder is a very serious mental problem, and it even shows up on brain scans.
I don't really know what the other anon means when he says they "draw people to them", but borderlines usually have a lingering feeling of absolute worthlessness, and my girlfriend at the time would always have breakdowns about how she was the worst and worthless and couldn't do anything right, and cut herself. Most borderline cases end in suicide, it's very serious. You just sound like you're insecure and have a few social problems.
>>16894209
I mean... I do feel absolutely worthless.
>>16894224
How old are you? Everything you've described is very typical, even feelings of worthlessness when young, except for the self-harm that you mentioned, which I think is a key for a BPD diagnosis.
One very important thing that is extremely common or perhaps even mandatory for a BPD diagnosis is fear of abandonment. Do you feel that? By abandonment I mean the fear that someone important or anyone will just leave you all alone by yourself and abandon you. Obviously you've probably felt this at some point in your life but you need to ask yourself if this a recurring and very powerful fear that you have. Likewise, borderlines generally have a very distorted sense of self-image. It's not only about hating yourself or something like that but just a completely unstable self-image. Likewise, they're very impulsive. They spend a lot of money, do a lot of drugs, have a lot of sex, binge, eat, things like that. And like I mentioned, suicidal tendencies that go with feelings of "emptiness"
>>16894234
I'm 26.
As far as abandonment, maybe back in high school this was a huge fear that was especially devastating with crushes. I haven't ever been in a real relationship, and I haven't made any friends. I kind of learned not to feel too strongly about anyone so I don't get obsess over them and get devastated. So I don't have a constant looming fear of abandonment, but I don't know many people to be abandoned by at this point, so does that count?
>completely unstable self-image
I do kind of go back and forth from delusional "I am a really cool guy that people like! :^)" to feeling completely worthless.
>>16894279
>I do kind of go back and forth from delusional "I am a really cool guy that people like! :^)" to feeling completely worthless.
I don't think is what is meant by unstable self-image. My understanding of it is more along the lines of never have a clear sense of self, with respect to who you are in the world, who you are as a person, your personality, etc. And looks like abandonment isn't a very prominent fear for you either.
Anyway obviously I'm not a psychologist so my opinion doesn't mean shit but I really don't think you have BPD. But that doesn't mean your other symptoms aren't valid. Give seeing a psychologist a try, they can properly diagnose you and also maybe provide some relief for your symptoms. Most psychologists have a "first 10 session discount" thing going. Look into it.
>>16894313
>My understanding of it is more along the lines of never have a clear sense of self, with respect to who you are in the world, who you are as a person, your personality, etc.
That sounds exactly like me.
But I think you're probably right about me not having BPD anyway.
>>16894322
Yeah well it sounds like a lot of people honestly. But I would imagine that by 26 you would probably have had way more self-harm incidents and thoughts/attempts of suicide if you had borderline personality disorder.
