So after a suicide attempt last week, I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and strung out on Prozac.
I reacted ridiculously negatively to the diagnosis because I know the common stereotype behind it (women with borderline are crazy) and the doctors stopped using it to refer to me. They spoke to my parents and they refuse to say I have it now, everyone keeps telling me I don't have it, but I've been assigned to both a therapist and a psychiatrist, as well as DBT (dialetic behavioural therapy), which I've read was specifically designed to treat BPD.
I don't know what to do, /adv/. I just want to be normal and be loved, and the diagnosis is making me uneasy right now. I don't feel like a monster, yet that's all I see about experiences with people with this, it seems. I don't know, I know deep down that it's correct, but I don't want it to be. Does anybody have any experience with this at all?
Actual diagnosis: extreme autism
Prozac isn't really something you can get strung out on. I've been on Prozac; it's pretty mild.
Dialectic behavioral therapy is in fact great, and can completely reverse the symptoms of BPD.
>>16893037 is full of fucking shit, and should not be listened to.
Doctors and other mental health professionals know what they are doing. Listen to them.
>>16893041
I don't mean strung out, but it's making me anxious as fuck constantly. I've gone on three separate runs today, I guess more wired up than anything...
DBT is really helping only after a few days, though. The doctors do think a lot of it stems from abusive relationships and childhood trauma.
>>16893026
I've been diagnosed with borderline a time or two as well, and I can relate to the whole stigma thing. There are a lot of stereotypes about BPD and they're true just enough of the time that it's hard to get away from them. Plus if your self-esteem is in the shitter, it makes it really easy to beat yourself up over it.
One of the important things to remember is, a lot of things like BPD and PTSD that stem from past trauma are essentially just reactions to situations that were real threats at the time. Remember, the human body and brain haven't really evolved since caveman days. Back then there were no warning labels, so if you didn't catch on quick that something was dangerous - and remember it damn good - you didn't live long. It's just that modern first-world societies don't have that kind of threat on a regular basis, so once the danger is over, there's no need to stay on alert mode. Human social interactions have evolved to the point where our social rules don't even allow for this kind of shit, so it becomes disruptive. But the part of your brain that deals with threats doesn't know that. All it knows how to do is take over and keep you from getting eaten by sabretooth tigers and shit. So therapy helps you retrain your brain gradually.
So what I would say is OP, please don't beat yourself up over having BPD or think that YOU are defective for having it. Because you're not. Shit happened and your brain did what human brains do sometimes.
It is true that people with BPD are harder to be with. Some of them are just destructive to everybody around them because it's their way of being self-destructive. Plus people with mild BPD often won't get diagnosed at all, so most people walking around bearing the label to the point where their ex knows about it have it pretty bad. Combine that with the usual pain of your average breakup and yeah, people are gonna say "don't date someone with BPD" especially on 4chan aka "I'm allowed to be nuts but nobody else is."
>>16893049
Did you just start Prozac last week? If so, that might go away after a few weeks.
>>16893026
This is what happens when you try to commit suicide. Did you think it was all fun and games. You are a crazy person now. You will always be a crazy person. This will follow you around for the rest of your life.
It doesnt really matter if you have it or not, the docs need a way of marking you as a crazy and bpd is the easiest thing to attribute to you.
>>16893272
Part of me wants to agree with you, because it's so easy for people to sort you into the crazy/hysterical/hypochondriac pile if they know about it. And docs are human beings and will do this too even though they shouldn't. But
>the rest of your life
Honestly I can't see any doctor or therapist looking at the history of someone who attempted suicide 20 years ago, got treatment, and has been symptom-free for five or ten years, and going "hmm that person is crazy 4 lyf."
Apart from doctors and people close to OP, literally nobody is going to know about any of this unless she tells them or she lives in one of those little towns where everybody knows everybody else's business.
>the docs need a way of marking you as a crazy
Is this a reference to the whole "doctor who will invent disorders for you to have just so they can keep getting money" thing? Probably some do. But a decent one will not. You can tell the decent ones by looking back over the past 6-12 months and asking whether you've really improved under their care. If they're doing their job, you should at some point feel like you don't need them anymore.
>>16893260
>Plus people with mild BPD often won't get diagnosed at all
I think this is the case with me, or I hope, the doctors emphasized taking care of my sensitivity to rejection and abandonment issues above all, but it's often true that I react with hostility to any threat, perceived or real. Daddy issues, molested, raped, abusive exes, the whole crazy girl checklist...
Thank you, though. Your words make a lot of sense, and they're comforting.
>aka "I'm allowed to be nuts but nobody else is."
My ex used to call me crazy, and then told me when we broke up that we could be friends as long as _I_ specifically didn't date anybody else.
I really, really need therapy.
>>16893267
I did. I usually have panic attacks under stress and this has been a stressful situation.
>>16893272
>b8/8
>>16893351
No problem OP. Be well. I hope you find some peace.
No offense, OP, but the borderline chicks are crazy stereotype didn't just popped up out of nowhere. It is about typical behaviors observed in people with certain personality disorders, so it's even more accurate than a stereotype based on race or gender. You will just need to face the reality that you are a psycho cunt and work toward being less of a psycho cunt through therapy. Good luck.
>>16893337
>"hmm that person is crazy 4 lyf."
They have to. Because if you ever do successfully commit suicide they will be to blame. You history will follow you forever.
>literally nobody is going to know about any of this unless she tells them
It normally gets out. She might be lucky.
>"doctor who will invent disorders for you to have just so they can keep getting money"
No, doctors have to say something is wrong with you when you try to commit suicide. You cant take a patient who does this and say they are mentally stable because they clearly are considered mentally unstable by their actions. You have to prove your sanity before doing things like this if you dont want to be marked. Crazy for life now.
>>16893351
>b8/8
Im not the one marked lol. But it doesnt matter at this point. Its your baggage to deal with for the rest of your life. Enjoy being labeled as a crazy person for the rest of your life.
