i'm a terrible person
ugly, disgusting, dumb, no friends, no family, evil, cold hearted, very very likely to be some sort of autist/aspie/schizoid, have been alone and depressed for 10 years
i don't see any meaning in all of this
aside from any forms of escapism i dont see any meaning in life. everything is so meaningless, things make no sense. it's like things are just the way they are, and i just tend to accept it.
i don't try to fight back anymore
time feels like flowing very fast, every day is the same thing, every day i'm sad, i'm just a blank terrible useless person and theres nothing i'm willing to do about it. i dont want to change neither, if being depressed at least gives a little bit of stability in life, then so be it.
i'm unlucky
i was born and raised in a poor neighborhood of a third world country, with quite a few disabilities, the only few skills i have are completely useless because of a few disabilities. my father abandoned me at birth, my mother was abusive, the only person who ever cared for me, my stepfather, died quite some time ago.
i gave up
i don't have any energy left, i have already quit life, quit tried following my dreams, or at least being a normal person, a long time ago. i even tried escapism, but not even that will make me smile just a bit.
i just want the suffering to end.
i wish at least i didnt't fear death, and wasnt so attached to some of my material things, like food, so i could just kill myself already.
so that's it.
i'm useless and i'm a bother to anyone i meet. i'm fucking sick of being a minus for everyone.
i just want to ask how to stop fearing death, or how to accept it, so i can suicide.
i don't even have the guts to simply ask this without making such a huge drama. as you can see, the world would be a happier place without me but i'm too much of a faggot to do it. anyone who's already tried suicide has any advice?
>>16892355
Have you considered becoming a hermit?
You're gonna die anyway, sooner or later, so i fail to see why you wouldn't want to make the best out of your life.
Why are you so afraid, what's holding you back? Are you afraid of failing?
>>16892355
Tried calling a suicide hotline yet? Shit may not be as hopeless as you think.
You try jumping in front of a train, drink antifreeze, drink gramoxone.. Pills fucking suck for an hero.
>>16892367
i have positions considered immoral by the holy church. and i'm too lazy to leave my apartment, let alone wander the world without being able to shitpost on 4chan. so by the classic definition, no. maybe if you make several adaptions to the lifestyle so it fits my needs it could be possible, but then you wouldn't call it being a hermit.
>>16892376
I wish I could, but I've already given up on making my life better. right now i just take it, accept things the way they are, try not to do anything about things, let the wind carry me and hope it carries me somewhere i don't feel pain.
>Why are you so afraid
Whatever I do I fail
any project I started, any change for better i'd try to make, no matter how big or how small, I'd always fail, or if not, hurting other people, or even myself in the process.. I'm afraid of this kind of thing.
The one fear I want to overcome is that of death.
>>16892397
I'm not afraid of death. I don't think that you should be either. Look at it like this: You are guaranteed to die, you only live for a short time on earth. Life is a gift to you. And you might as well make the best out of it, there's no reason to be afraid. If you go into life thinking "i'm going to fail" of course you won't have a good time. Go into it instead thinking "i will try my best and be content with that" and you will have a good time. It is better to have tried and failed, than to never have tried!
>>16892379
I want to help you anon but there's literally nothing we can actually do if you refuse to help yourself. Your situation won't change unless you do something, regardless of what it is, about it.
>>16892408
Now that you speak of it that way, you reminded myself of my death anxiety. I'm really afraid of what might come next, it's like I'm attached to the empirical senses I have of this world, attached to my own consciousness, and I'm afraid of losing these things, I don't want to lose them at all.
I'm not planning on living a happy life.
Just knowing what to do to stop feeling so depressed all the time would already be a start.
>>16892409
What if I ask for advice on helping my self?
What if I'm just posting on /adv/ so at least I can try and speak up a bit of what I've been feeling?
Maybe I just need to start taking escapism really seriously so I won't ever get upset again, because in my own world everything will be all right. Maybe I need advice on how to do that. I don't understand myself at all, you see. I'm quite a weirdo.
>>16892436
>Now that you speak of it that way, you reminded myself of my death anxiety. I'm really afraid of what might come next, it's like I'm attached to the empirical senses I have of this world, attached to my own consciousness, and I'm afraid of losing these things, I don't want to lose them at all.
>I'm not planning on living a happy life.
Just knowing what to do to stop feeling so depressed all the time would already be a start.
I know exactly where you are coming from. And i know why you are having a hard time dealing with these things. Do you like reading? I would really recommend you get into some philosophy. One particular line of philosophy which i'm into right now, and which has helped me cope with a lot of the philosophical issued that you are describing is "Stoicism", i recommend you check it out:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism
>>16892453
I like philsoophy but I don't like reading.
I like to eat, sleep and escapism, in the forms of videogame, anime and waifuism.
I guess I'm a determinist/nihilist.
Somehow I'm still a bit of a patriot/fascist, but I don't really care about anything at all anymore.
>>16892465
>I like philsoophy but I don't like reading.
Maybe this video series would interest you? Normally i would not recommend it, because it's a rather shallow "introduction" to different philosophers, but if you just wanna kick back and relax and get a general idea, it can be a fun watch. I've watched the entire playlist, just for fun. If you hear something you wanna know more about i suggest you check out the stuff on wikipedia. Just a suggestion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDiyQub6vpw&list=PLwxNMb28XmpfEr2zNKQfU97eyEs70krSb
Look man, there's no way to fully accept death... but I suggest getting a dog/cat or something, something to make you happy
