>pretty sure I fucked up my chances with a girl in one of my classes
>she's cool, artsy, smart, unique, pretty, etc
>oneitis took hold a few weeks ago and now it's fucking with me
Few questions:
How do I cope with what might have been between us? I feel so shitty over my awkwardness/inexperience killing my chances before the relationship could 'bloom.' It's such a terrible feeling that just exacerbates my already horrible self-loathing.
How do I *prevent* oneitis? I've always been the type to have it. From 1st grade through the first half of 6th I had a crush one girl (obviously I haven't had oneitis for as long since then, but you get the idea; I have the disposition for it or whatever).
It's really fucking hard to cope with the letdown and disappointment of fucking it up, and oneitis only increases the pressure to not fuck it up.
.pmuB
>>16892345
are you asking for advice on how to cope with the fact that a relationship never happened?
by coping. there is no magical cheat code. you arent even asking for advice when you say 'how do i cope' you are just looking for an excuse to whine.
>how do i prevent oneitis
its not oneitis if it happens more than once mate.
>>16892433
I don't think oneitis means a fixation on one person for your entire life...
>>16892433
I agree with this sentiment. Coping is simply moving forward. Don't do anything destructive to yourself out of self pity or shame, and you'll take pride in your coping ability when the pain fades with time.
>forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit
There is much more that could be said, but I'll stop here
Im new to this board what exactly is a 'oneitis'?
>>16892475
It's the term for when someone is crushing on a single person instead of several
The best thing you can do (in my opinion) is think long and hard about the situation, what you did right, what you did wrong, what you could've done better, and try to learn from it.
Also understand that this ''oneitis'' you speak of is blinding you to the fact that this girl isn't perfect in any way, shape or form. There's plenty of other cute, artsy, smart girls, just keep looking and learn from your mistakes.
Would you mind elaborating? I'm prone to oneitism too, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel confident enough to try something rather than just observe from a distance like I have done until now. Learning from others' mistakes could save me from a few awful experiences.
