Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely
>Shaven, trimmed or full jungle?
Trimmed. Shaven is for fags, pornstars and faggy pornstars. Full jungle is for gorillas and 80s pornstars. When the shaver hits the hairs just right, the balls sing.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon and frogposters
Fuck off
Is it gay to ask your male friend to hang out with you just 1 on 1? I just don't want to lose my friends from us drifting away.
Girls and guys,
How do my boyfriend and I get better at dirty talk? Ideally, I want to learn some tips and tricks I can tell my boyfriend to try and encourage him to talk dirty more often, but I'm always up for learning a thing or two
Girls.
Let's say a guy voiced interest in you and asked once and politely to have your number. And you gave it to him. No pressure, he wasn't being pushy or anything and you certainly didn't have to.
Did you ever give your number to someone like that without actually wanting to see him again?
>>16868736
Yes, it happened a couple of times.
>>16868718
"Call me ____" "Tell me I'm a _____"
"Do you think it would be hot if I called you/said ___"
Ask him if there's any pet names he wants you to use. (he'll probably say "daddy")
>>16868717
No dude. I'm 28 and have three very close male friends. We hang out 1 on 1 all the time and if a few weeks go by without seeing each other because of work or whatever I'll let them know I miss them and we find some time to chill. Best bros are irreplaceable.
Girls what turns you off in terms of personality. Because I've spent 2 years getting my life together, moved out and have a stable job making good money for my age, lost 8 inches off my waist and got an entirely new wardrobe and left all my loser mmo-playing neckbeard friends to hang out with people who actually want to do something with themselves. I feel like I've done so much, but I still get rejected just asking a girl out for coffee.
>it's not your looks, it not that you're a virgin, it's your personality
Well what the fuck am I doing wrong then? What is a turnoff and how do I change it? It's not even about leagues because I mostly show interest in chubby girls despite being in good shape these days.
>>16868736
Sure.
>>16869001
Well you've told us absolutely nothing about your personality so how do we know what's wrong with it? Besides, that's just something we can't judge over the internet unless we Skype over an extended period or something.
From a girl I'm interested in and am pretty close friends with
>this work is gonna be the death of me
>don't start haunting after you're gone
>I'll only haunt the fun stuff
>should I start worrying?
No response, while she logged in several times after.
Too much? Or just plain cringeworthy? It seemed like a fun and flirty thing to say at a time, but being ignored like this really makes me reconsider my idea of what's "fun"
>>16869007
But generally speaking, what are red flags
>>16869001
no tact while talking (people that don't understand the you can be honest without being a jerkoff)
short fuses
guys that talk badly about other people's looks/appearances
being condescending or a know it all
talking about ex gf excessively
too down on themselves or just down in general
no passion or drive for something
Can 100% beta males ever have a chance with a woman?
>>16869009
It was in decent taste, if she interprets that as "too much" she has problems imo.
>>16869016
Laziness. Rudeness. Stupidity. Being an asshole. Lacking confidence. Possessive. Insecure. Jealous. The list goes on, you could write a book of all the personality traits that turn women off.
>>16868717
Not at all, so long as you add "no homo" after asking. Seriously though, no.
>>16869001
I'd suggest reading "No more mr. nice guy." I think it fosters a good way of thinking about yourself and what appeals to a majority of females. Essentially you should care about yourself first and foremost.
>>16869009
You are way overthinking it. She's either busy or shitty at responding. None of that was particularly cringeworthy and if she's even the slightest bit attractive she'll have heard way dumber shit on a daily basis.
>>16869021
Yes but I will walk all over you
>>16868736
I've never given my number out to somebody I didn't at least think was cute
>>16869028
>Lacking confidence is a turnoff
God I hate that. How is someone supposed to like themselves when no one else likes them to begin with
>>16869025
>>16869037
Well, that's a relief. So it's just on her end that she's spaghettiing, busy, or simply not interested. Let's hope it's not the latter.
>>16869040
Because liking yourself and having others like you are not the same thing. And you've got it the wrong way around; you're supposed to like yourself before others can like you.
>>16869046
To add to this, she does have a habit of randomly dropping text convos, leaving me thinking
>wait, that's it?
Maybe it's just that too.
>>16869040
People have the potential to like you but they won't if you are a Debbie downer about yourself. People don't mean "be super confident in everything you do" when they say that, they mean "I don't want to hear about your self loathing and insecurity because we all deal with that"
>>16869050
Yeah she just sucks at keeping the flow of convo
I do the same and it used to bug the shit out of my ex. He'd over think the delay and I'm like nooo i had to poop then forgot to respond because i got distracted by [ insert whatever here]
Now i don't even check something unless i can respond then and there so i don't freak anybody out
Girls.
Texting you the day after we met to ask you out is too fast? It is probably a stupid question considering my exes did not mind at all.
>>16868736
>Did you ever give your number to someone like that without actually wanting to see him again?
My best friend is a chick. She does this all the time. I've got another female friend who does this too (but she's better at responding and has issues saying no in general).
Hell, I've even done it a few times (give someone my number at a bar, just never respond back because I forgot, or it just seemed like a good idea while I was drunk, or it seemed more polite than outright ignoring them in that moment.)
>>16869040
>God I hate that. How is someone supposed to like themselves when no one else likes them to begin with
Uhh.... That's such backwards thinking and probably the exact reason why people think you're needy/desperate/whatever.
It's called self-confidence for a reason.
You find a goal or ideal and you strive to conduct yourself in such a manner that allows you to reach it, in doing so, you gain pride in yourself, and in gaining pride, you gain confidence.
Instead of wasting your time whining, get to doing.
--From a former shy kid with 0 confidence who built himself up.
>>16869049
>you're supposed to like yourself before others can like you.
But why would he like himself, if no one likes him. I think that's the real neckbeard problem, there's no way out. You can't take pride and confidence in shitposting and beating off, but there's no way to make friends or get attention from girls until you do like yourself, but you don't have any reason to so you continue to be alone.
>>16868706
GIRLS:
I really need an answer to this.
Is dating a depressed guy a no-no? Depressed to a point where normal functioning is impacted, he has problems getting up in the morning, doing simple jobs, and he doesn't feel any pleasure from everyday activities whatsoever, he is always moody - and when he is hiding it it's very obvious by his lack of enthusiasm in whatever he's talking about.
Would it still be a no-no if he is doing something about it, as in going to therapy and taking medication?
>>16869096
Are a majority of girls going to ignore you? Yes. Are a minority of girls going to be open for it? Yes. Not that much different from dating in general but you have slightly worse odds.
>>16869095
Well then, you're supposed to do something out of your life that will make you feel proud.
Play guitar, for example. If you like music, you can take all the time you spend shitposting and use it for practicing guitar playing, and eventually become the next Yngwie Malmsteen or Buckethead or Garwin Harrison. It is impressive, you will be able to write and perform music, and it is something you can genuinely take pride in.
It's not limited to just skills, just find a thing that you love and spend a lot of time getting good at it.
>>16869095
No one is obliged to like you. If you want people to like you, you have to be likeable. If you don't make an effort to do that, the it's your own fault that you're stuck. More people around here need to realise that.
>>16869096
I dated a man who was paranoid schizoaffective... It was great until he let his fears overpower him and destroy the relationship. MY POINT IS; If you don't get your shit under control, no one will want you. People can almost smell a foul mood and will avoid it like the plague... unless they get off on chaos. Get therapy. Get medication. Get better first.. You don't need a relationship right now; you need to work on yourself before you bring someone to the table.
Men and Women both: Are you going to get kids?
If so, when?
Dude here, getting kids at 30 at the extreme very least.
>>16869118
I assume you mean 'have' kids. Yes, and at some point beginning in my late 20s. I want two, preferably a boy and a girl. I plan to marry and buy a house first.
>>16869118
/snort
Hell no. As much as I adore my nephew, there is no way that I could have my own.. I am both too immature, and my coping skills are shit; I'm surprised I can tolerate my nephew the way I do... Then again, we only have him for 2 and a 1/2 days every weekend.
>>16869114
This is kinda what I had in mind. I ruined great relationships that way. I guess I'll stay single for a while.
>>16869118
Yes. No plan for when. Before 40 is a likely plan, wouldn't mind after 30. I'm 26 right now.
>>16869096
Its not a no no if he's doing something about it but you don't know how it goes until he's in a low
I'm kicking myself in the ass for developing feelings for my best friend with depression. He flip flops between us being in bliss to him not wanting to seek help because he doesn't think he deserves it. The push and pull is annoying.
If he tried to seek help I'd move heaven and earth to be with him but if he's not going to bother I'm not either.
Wew sorry for going on a tangent
Question, why are guys so very much into giving anal and so very much opposed to receiving it? Most women I've talked to, me included, are less than into it mostly, whereas guys have a prostate so I suppose it'd be more pleasurable for guys, generally speaking?
I'm not saying no girls enjoy anal or that every guy should, of course, it just always hit me as peculiar.
Girls: Is it better to give her my number, or get her number? And why?
>>16869118
No.
I couldn't imagine having to deal with another me when he enters puberty. I can't deal with myself, let alone raise another person.
>>16869142
I have too. It's not fair to the other party at all, nor is it good on your mental state because you'll blame yourself for how it went down the shitter. At least I do.
>>16869154
>if he's not going to bother I'm not either.
This is not a best thing you can do. Depressed people are very often afraid that there's nothing wrong with them so they are ashamed of seeking help at all. And having major problems with willpower and motivation doesn't help at all.
You should try to convince him that there's nothing wrong with being depressed - it's an illness like every other, and it's treatable. The longer he stalls it, the longer he will suffer.
It took me a suicide attempt until I realized I am not okay and that I need help. And I've been depressed since primary school. Please don't let that happen to your friend - it could be more than an attempt.
>pic related - the story from /adv/
>>16869161
I'm a girl, I usually give out my number, then guys usually jokingly call me to assure it's not fake. Then we've exchanged numbers and it's nice.
>>16869157
Definitely because of the social stigma. Porn and media says anal is awesome to give as a man, but somehow gay to receive, although it's enjoyable for most men. My first boyfriend was into pegging and buttplugs, it freaked me out because we were 16, but I rolled with it as it was a HUGE fetish for him. We'd discuss our sex life openly with our friends, but I swore never to tell anyone I know about it because he was ashamed of it. Definitely not because he wasn't up for receiving, but because he was afraid of other people's reaction.
My girlfriend thinks I cheated on her during a trip I had two weeks ago. I own my own company and maybe two or three times a year attend a vendor-customer meet and greet a few cities over. She thinks I was unfaithful but:
>she has no proof, no texts or Facebook messages or anything
>I even let her go on my Facebook and read my e-mail (and business e-mail) right away after she accused me, giving me no time to delete e-mails anyways
>I invited her and she said no, why would I plan to cheat with my girlfriend potentially with me?
>one of her friends was there and said I didn't leave with anyone; this isn't a mutual friend so I couldn't have convinced the friend to lie on my behalf
There's never been any trust issues before now. This is coming out of left field, I don't know what's gotten into her. It's caught me so off guard, I feel uncomfortable around her. I want to break up, but I feel like this would reaffirm what she thinks. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me unconditionally.
My gf's closest friend is extremely childish. For example, today I posted something on social media about how my girlfriend was my wcw, blah blah blah you get the idea. First comment is from her friend "She's mine, back off you can't have her". No emoji, no "lol" "haha" or "lmao". So I took it pretty serious, my girlfriend told me she was joking though, so I fired back with "your just mad because she loves me more" and it spiraled into a 8 comment long back-and-forth thing.
Nothing too bad was done or said, but she's just so immature and I eventually stopped giving her any attention. Why does her friend constantly feel the need to do this though? She's always so bitchy with me even if my girlfriends around, and my girlfriend just seems to think that she's jealous or something but doesn't see any problem with it.
TLDR: How do I deal with my gf's childish and bitchy best friend?
>>16869185
I have, quite often. Then he pushes me away and tells me he doesn't need help, its just how it is
I ask her out and she says she doesnt know if she will be available. That she will tell me when she knows. That and her short answers and that damn "^^ "
This does not look good at all, does it?
>>16869164
>I can't deal with myself
Trial & Error
My mom was very strict and bad at parenting my two older brothers, she never made those mistakes with me.
Same goes with my dad. He used to be a drunken angry alcoholic asshole, and my half sister was scared of him when he was drunk and raving. He amazingly managed to quit a year before I was born.
>>16869222
I have no backing of this whatsoever but is it possible she's making these accusations because she's been doing some cheating herself?
>>16869222
I'm going to put an idea in your head that you're not at all going to like.
Sometimes when people are super hell bound to find you at fault, it's because they're guilty that about something they did and they want to deflect and bring you down to their level.
>>16869222
I hate to be that guy; did you know cheaters get awfully paranoid and jealous because they project their behaviour into others?
I sincerily wish this isn't the case but you have to consider every possibility.
>>16869235
Rule of thumb: always have 3 girls on the go for this exact circumstance
>>16869222
Is she cheating?
For guys mostly, but I'd like any imput:
It might be petty, but it bothers me as I'm insecure as hell. I'm considered attractive by a lot of guys and I get hit on a lot, which the guy I'm seeing is aware of. Some of my friend say he's not good-looking enough and too old for me, but I find him absolutely gorgeous and have told him so plenty of times.
He rarely compliments me, though. I assume he thinks I'm attractive since he approached me and invites me on dates, we have great sex etc. But I'm afraid I'm not his type and he doesn't find me attractive at all. He often talks about other hot girls, which is okay but makes me a bit insecure, especially as they always look completely different from me. Like his brother got a new GF who he said is absolutely stunning, especially because of her "very long legs." He always mentions tallness, blonde-ness and long-legged girls as a symbol of beauty, I'm a very petite brunette, and my stumpy legs are probably my least interesting feature/biggest insecurity. I know he's insecure about not having a very toned upper body, so I'd never go around mentioning all these hot guys with six packs all the time. I'd find it insensitive and I think he's hot as fuck, to be honest, and doesn't need a sixpack at all. And I can't exactly train my legs longer or make myself taller. It makes me feel horrible and I feel sad whenever I see a long-legged, tall blonde.
He's 30 and I'm 20, so it's not like he's an oblivious high school kid. But do you think he's doing it on purpose to make me jealous or can guys just be that stupid? As said, I'd never mention I was into very tall muscular dudes if I was dating a short slim guy, especially not very often and casually.
>>16869157
Guy here. I find anal pretty gross. I have received some prostate pleasure from a woman and it does feel good but the only times I'm down for giving or receiving is when I'm piss drunk. Even then I feel like I need a shower immediately after finishing. Anal porn makes me gag.
>>16869214
It's seriously the "people might think it's gay" stuff?
Thanks for your answer anyway.
>>16869255
-dating younger girl
-doesn't compliment you
-vocally tells you about how he thinks other women are attractive
-you have to tell him he's attractive
-he knows you're good looking and get hit on
-other people know he's out of your league
He's trying to play it off cool and he's insecure as fuck. Coming from someone who's been in the same position.
>>16869157
when im horny I'll consider things I wouldnt otherwise. I would never give or receive anal, even when diamond hard, but id lick an asshole (but never receive it). just something in the moment triggers "man i want to eat your asshole", I dunno.
>>16869255
>He's 30 and I'm 20, so it's not like he's an oblivious high school kid. But do you think he's doing it on purpose to make me jealous or can guys just be that stupid
Age is no guarantee of social awareness (especially in a guy who chooses to date a girl a decade younger than him)
If you're far enough along in your relationship, bring it up. There really are guys that dense (I've got a friend that's like that, and it eventually completely tanked his last relationship of 4 years. I've known him for half of our lives, and he's always been that way with all his GF's and I've always given him shit for it).
>>16869244
I dont like dating multiple girls.
@women: what are safe days? Are these a myth?
I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend once a few months ago. It was an in the moment thing and it was the hottest thing I've ever experienced. I came in 60 seconds but remained hard I was so turned on, we went at it again and it was honest-to-god the best thing I've ever felt.
She didn't get pregnant and she isn't on the pill or any other prophylaxis. I want to do it again but is there certain days where pregnancy is unlikely/impossible?
>>16869255
You don't have a bf, you have a gf I'm afraid to say.
>>16869285
Well you're not dating any girls right now, shes flaking out in the nicest way she knows how. Numbers game son, it's a shame you and I grew up with Disney movies we wouldn't have to rewire our brains for the real world
>>16869290
I guess so. If she doesnt come back i will juste go with my friends as intended.
Then maybe ask her out on something else in a few days.
>>16869285
>I dont like dating multiple girls.
Different anon that also hates dating multiple girls, but that's not even dating bro. That's just gauging interested and making potential plans.
Until that date is set and you're there at the venue, that girl shouldn't exist as any kind of potential anything yet.
>>16869286
>is there certain days where pregnancy is unlikely/impossible?
Google and sex ed are your friend. Pregnancy is always possible, even with protection.
>>16869269
Thanks so much for your answer. I'm genuinely head over heels and think he's gorgeous, although he's not stereotypically "Zac Efron"-hot (he's much better). We went on a date a while ago and a lot of guys were hitting on me, I told them to fuck off of course, and he seemed to react quite awkwardly in the situation. Instead of being like "hey, that's my girl!" or kiss my cheek, or say I looked nice, he just looked into his bear. I don't want to sound like an insecure high school chick who wants to be told I'm pretty all the time, but it was weird to receive more compliments from the bartender than I've ever gotten from him.
He's always seemed pretty confident, but I suspect it's bullshit and he's insecure, especially as he asked me "why me"? while lying in bed at one point. I told him he was sexy and great, and he didn't really reply, so I've feared that he might not be into me and I'm just a time killer while looking for his tall, long-legged blonde.
What do you think I should do, though? Should I make it even more clear that I'm with him because I'm really into him and don't care about what other people think? Or just ignore it and try to laugh off the hurtful comments about the other hot girls while feeling like I'm not good enough?
He's the first guy I've ever been really into and I have no idea how to act haha
>>16869300
Hey who knows maybe you'll go out with your friends and you'll meet another cutie where you go. (Statistics say you will, but statistics also say you won't talk to her.) Don't see it as a failure, see it as a different opertunity
>>16869233
I'm sorry to hear that. I guess that he needs to hit the rock bottom first.
>>16869282
Haha, yeah I know I guess, but with my first boyfriend, he'd treat me like a dude all the time (like tell me his favourite porn stars and point out when girls weren't wearing a bra, which in hindsight is hilarious, but made 16-year old me feel kinda weird. Especially because the porn stars were like 40-year old MILF-types who did a lot of anal scenes, how was I supposed to keep up with that?!). A few years later, he apologized and said as he'd gotten older, said it must have made me so weird and that he was super embarrassed. So I thought an older guy would have a bit more experience with relationships and how to interact, but it depends a lot on the situation and persons.
We're not even in a relationship, we've been casually dating/sleeping for 3-4 months and recently started dating, so I'm not comfortable enough to mention yet. If he's just a bit dense, I'm afraid I'll come off as clingy and petty, and sound like a teenager ("don't mention other hot girls! Am I not good for you?" - YIKES! I'd run away from me haha)
>>16869287
:(
>>16869255
I've always seen it as pretty girls don't need lots of compliments because they already get them, sparingly comments mean more. The rest depends on the context of the situation maybe he's just an asshole maybe he's just teasing and trying to make you jealous maybe he is just retarded.
>>16869305
Funny thing is this girl i met yesterday.
Last week i met another and got rejected with a "i am lost right now and dont want to hurt you."
At least she was honest. This new one we spent the entire evening talking and she is now flaky . go figure.
I am just tired. I make an effort and talk to girls. It just rarely works. This is the third in a row in my two months of celibacy.
>>16869303
Haha, beer, not bear. You catch my drift. English isn't my first language, so I hope you guys can understand my rambling
>>16869157
Guy here, I think is because is very dominant, im not into get or give it but I like more the idea of give it than get it
>>16869335
So it's more against being submissive than being against anal as such?
>>16869323
I disagree. Maybe because I'm insecure and haven't always been considered pretty (thank you braces, yoga, make up tutorials and puberty!), but compliments never get old. Most importantly, compliments from a stranger often don't mean shit. I can get hit on 20-30 times in a night, but how many of these guys do you think are genuinely into me compared to the number who just want to get laid and jump onto the next "hey gorgeous!" when I'm gone? Getting a compliment from someone you're into means SO MUCH MORE! It makes my whole week to hear a "hey gorgeous" from a guy I'm dating, but I don't really give a shit when it's a couple of random guys on the street. In this case, his lack of compliments have made me think I'm not his type, that he's not at all attracted to me, and I might have to dump him if I don't want to get seriously hurt. So bad strategy :p
>>16869111
That was the original question really, "what are dislikable things to avoid" or how to be likeable by accident I guess
>>16869255
Every time he talks about long-legged girls tell him that hurts you, if he insist talk about what kind of guys you like
>Possibly you may finish with him and both find a guy and girl that want more than your actual partner
I'm not sure this goes here, but anyway, if anyone could chime in that'd be great. So I'd like to get some piercings, possibly tongue, nipples or even clitoral.
Now, how painful are these, how fast does it heal, are they worth it generally? I've heard different things about intimate piercings.
>>16869345
Well maybe he has the same mindset as I do, so tell him you like it when he compliments you and more importantly tell him that it hurts when he talks about other girls.
>>16869118
I can't imagine it right now, but yes I think so. Probably. Maybe between late twenties to early thirties.
>>16869157
It's a dominance/power thing
>>16869157
because most guys are repressed killer virgins
>>16869286
>are there safe days where pregnancy isn't possible?
Yes.
>is it possible to predict them accurately enough to use as an effective contraceptive method
No. No no no. Trying to avoid ovulation is too risky. Cycles are rarely consistent and clockwork, even if her periods seem to be. The calendar method and other fertility-awareness based methods ARE forms of contraceptives, but they are so ineffective that I'd never recommend using them alone, only in combination with other better birth control. See chart for reference:
http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/pdf/contraceptive_methods_508.pdf
>>16869472
Just don't do what my friend did. She thought that if she had sex during her period that she wouldn't get pregnant because "it all flushes out of you anyway" .... Guess who was pregnant weeks later? Yeah.
>>16869484
Jesus Christ, your friend shouldn't breed.
>>16869497
Lmao. No shit, Anon. Even at my age at the time I knew better...
>>16869340
I think yes!
All men want to be big, strong, dominant. Not all guys are against being submissive, is kind of hot in some way but if a guy has problems as a man probably dont want to be submissive
Been online dating for like 5 months now and haven't gotten much progress conversation wise. Ive had a few conversations but they seem reluctant to participate even if I flirt or ask about their interests. On a side note, what is up with these situations? They send one message and stop.
>>16869657
You started with "what's up?"
>>16869685
Thanks for the advice, anon. I've sent 46 personalized messages to other girls and gotten no responses from them period. So saying "what's up" vs a thought out message clearly isn't the problem here.
>>16869723
You never asked for advice. I was just commenting based on the one scenario you did show is.
>>16869657
Obviously they find you boring or otherwise unappealing in comparison to other guys they're talking to. Or they're busy and you're one of those dudes who gets butthurt when girls don't respond within an hour and sperg out.
Was hanging out with a female friend and I got a random erection. And before I could adjust everything she noticed. Then she stared when she thought I wasnt looking.
What are the chances that she wants the D
>>16869804
Hard to say without knowing anything about your relationship. It's possible, but it's also possible she was staring for the same reason people stare at fatties and train wrecks; morbid curiosity.
>>16869118
Guy here. I want to have kids at some point, but I haven't met the right person yet and I am much too young.
>>16869118
I dunno. I'm 23, the idea of having a family at some point in the future is appealing to me. But I haven't found a woman I could see raising one with yet really. I still have tons of time though, and worst case scenario I could consider adoption.
>>16869286
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calendar-based_contraceptive_methods
Girls,
Do you like to get messages from somewhat random guys that you know on FB? I coached a volleyball team the summer of my freshman going into sophomore year and a girl that I coached is really cute. She knows me and I know her semi well just from coaching. We haven't talked in a couple of years. Would it be weird to just start talking to her? I would like to get to know her a little more. I just do not want to come off as creepy.
I been single for about two months, and I am thinking about testing the waters again.
Thanks!
>>16869161
Get her number so you make sure you will talk to her.
Was talking to woman from tinder. After a conversation about our jobs i said "so do you like being taken on dates or...?" And she didn't answer. Should i cut contact with her? Not looking for a friend just looking to have sex for the first time. Even if I wanted a friend I wouldn't want one who is too much of a pussy to talk about what she wants.
Girls.
If a girl/you lingers a little bit longer then necesarry after i drove her home and we chatted during that waiting period about absolutly boring stuff, like the local bus network, she/you wants me to make a move?
>>16869922
Personally getting randomly chatted up by a guy I didn't talk to in years, who was some sort of teacher none the less, I'd feel a bit weird about it, or at least just assume that he just wants to sleep with me.
Now if I'd want to do that, too, that's fine, but most of the time that's not the case honestly.
>>16869118
I don't plan on getting any kids. No women, children, or pets. It keeps life simple.
>>16869118
grill
fuck no. i hate kids of all ages.
So i had a really cool dating idea for a girl i recently met and we seem to be interested in each other. I blew my first chance asking her personally for a date, can i just text her and ask for a date and its nearly the same?
>>16869956
She goes to school out in Florida. So I am not close to living by her I knew her well, but we just haven't talked in about 3 years
>>16869992
How big is the age difference between you?
I'm not saying she won't necessarily respond well but it was me I'd wonder why a coach from three years ago suddenly wants to talk to me.
>>16870004
She is two years younger than me. She was friends with my sister too and her best friend is friends with my sister. My sister is older than me. The girl wanted to be friends with me on FB when the summer ended. I wasn't really an official coach, just filled in for 2 months of practice only as an assistant when needed.
girls
do you eat more junk food close to/during your period? feeling like a fatty over here :c
>>16869970
Does it matter? If texting is your only option go do it.
>>16870031
Oh, well alright, two years isn't a big difference really. Just try it I guess.
>>16870037
Not really, but I have migraines that seem to coincide with my period more often than not and strong smells make it worse or trigger it.
>>16870049
every fucking month, even if i'm unaware that my period's supposed to start soon, i start getting a rumbly in my tumbly that only the greasiest of foods can satisfy
>>16870037
No junk food but I usually eat much more (pretty much constantly) or do a lot of drugs/booze, only after a few days though, it's never pms
>>16869954
Girl here and yeah,that sounds like something i would do.Talking about anything to spend a bit more time with you.
If i didnt like you i would step out of the car as fast as possible.
Girls and guys
My sex drive was ultra low the past 2 years. But now it's at like 200% and it's driving me fucking crazzzyyy because I can't do shit about it. I don't even know what to do. I work Fulltime, do home workouts for excerise, watch the presidential campaign after work, eat then sleep. Everyday. I was hoping a routine would cause my sex drive to drop again. But it won't. What do I do
>>16869118
Kids are gross
>>16870099
Yes they are. They are horrible little monsters. I will never have kids. And if I ever get a girl pregnant (100% serious) I will shoot myself in the head with my Glock 19.
>>16870112
Why not just get an abortion you dingus
>>16870120
I don't know
>>16869804
If you like her, just go for it and ask her out.
>>16869922
Give it a shot, you never know, but don't get your hopes up
>>16869948
You should have just asked her on a date, your question comes off as passive and insecure.
I have a slight speech impediment.
Rs and hard Ss come out a bit sloppy for me.
I don't know why, it just does. I've been trying 25 years to fix it.
Is that a "Fuck this" signal?
I feel so self concious about speaking.
>>16870097
Go for a check up, make sure you're not having crazy hormone fluctuations
>>16870215
I've never really met anyone with a speech impediment, but if you're up front and open about it I don't see why it would be an issue.
For example, you're talking to someone and you say a sentence where the impediment is apparent, just mention, "Sorry if I'm a little difficult to understand, I have a slight speech impediment," and then continue on like normal. If you act like your speech is no big deal, then the person you're speaking to will see it as no big deal.
>>16870219
well. its because of a girl. There is a girl I like, and she makes me feel so fucking crazy. Only problem is she lives on the other side of the ocean.. So I'm helpless.
>>16870215
It can potentially come off as cute. It just depends on how you handle it.
>>16870215
Don't worry about it Anon. I have a slight speech impediment as well and it's generally not a big deal. Sure people might sometimes make fun of it or repeat what you said in their head but most of the time it's much less of a problem than you think.
Recently a really cute guy told me "you're often hard to understand but it's always worth it", so now that's how I think about it. Also talk slowly with people you just met, eventually they'll just have an easier time understanding you.
Holy shit I'm really starting to feel crazy over this sex drive surge.
I want to have sex with this girl SO FUCKING BAD!!!! But I fucking can't! God dammit.
Seriously, I need advice because I feel too amped up right now and I'm losing it
My material told me he is now seeing this girl I liked who we're both friends with. At first he was trying to see if I liked her probably trying to spare my feelings but I played it off telling him I didn't mind much. It's not really affecting me much it's just that it kinda gets to me sometimes and makes me feel inferior and like the ugly friend who can't make a move. I have no idea how I'd speak to her now. I fear I'll act all passive aggressive and piss everyone in our group of friends off. How should I act to prevent this?
>>16870282
You're a cute girl though.
I'm just an average dude. There's a difference there.
I keep heading to the gym to offset my mushmouth but it never feels like it's enough.
>>16870288
are you retarded?
>>>/r9k/
>>16870324
I'm not going to that hell hole
and the girl likes me. It's just she's geographically far away. Yet she's sending me pictures and telling me things. I feel like I'm going to have a fucking stroke.
>>16870292
Not even that cute, and full to the brim with confidence issues and all that shit.
Have you tried a Phoniatrician? Is that a word in English?
>>16870412
I think in English we say "Speech therapist".
It means the same thing, though.
I did see one when I was a boy.
I remember her saying "I have difficulty fixing him because he didn't care about being heard".
That was true.
I didn't care then. I spoke, and if you didn't understand me, that was your loss. I was a cocky kid.
Now I care and now I try.
But regardless of that, unless your face is a genuine butt, there are guys who would love to be with you.
Men and boys are less fortunate. If a girl looks cute, there is so much guys are willing to overlook.
A guy? A smaller field.
Appearance matters less.
Accomplishment means more. Including voices.
>>16870292
The same way you thought she was cute, a straight girl could think that you're cute. It sounds like you just assumed you were average.
>>16870342
Do you have the resources to go there?
>>16870472
Imagine an uglier Martin Freeman who sounds like he's drunk all the time.
Who could desire that?
I wouldn't.
The point I'm getting at is that I shouldn't wait to find a girl who finds my bloated skinny body worth anything.
I should become muscular and worth love.
How would you feel about dating a mentally retarded person?
Does it matter I'd they're kind, devoted and tries hard? Or does this person have to work super hard on their intelligence to get anywhere with you.
>>16870485
Are you implying that you are retarded?
>>16870490
No I was considering playing it that way to get more sincere answers (or answers a smart person could read into to get more info) but I'm not sure I could pull it off well. Also it felt a bit too rude.
>>16870485
I would never date someone who I found stupid, this includes the mentally handicapped.
>>16870199
I want to give her the D. Not ask her out. Platonic dates sure and if she wanted Id be willing to go on a few dates seriously, but I just want to give her the D right now.
>>16870485
I could do mildly autistic, like Aspergers or something, but not any of the more serious conditions.
>>16870493
Well theres no real analogy for mentally retarded people since they cant function on their own, take care of a child, do any of the activities society has to occur because its built around people who dont have that disability.
Girls, guys, anybody
How do I make more noise during sex? My intense anxiety and paranoia about getting caught made me learn to be an orgasm ninja and my boyfriend's probably weirded out or thinks he's doing something wrong
>>16870480
Yes. I do. It's just timing. She has a lot of shit going on, and I can't get off work although I have the money. We are suppose to meet up this summer. But I'm literally going crazy right now because that's so long
I feel like I NEED to be with her right now. I've never felt this before but this isnfucking crazy. Fuck fuck fuck
>>16870516
What happens when you try?
>>16870522
What do you mean? I never get the urge to make noise, not even during orgasm. When I force myself to make a sound at any point, it sounds like just that--forced and fake.
>>16870520
Please do something to distract you. If you meet her and seem overexcited to be around her when she doesn't seem the same way it might scare her off.
I get that you might have excellent chamistry, but if you feel like you absolutely NEED to see her then you probably need more variety in your life.
>>16870529
You have to try and be more relaxed during sex.
>>16870543
Do you know of any good ways to do that? Relaxing more would fix multiple sex-related issues
>>16870531
I'm forcing myself to workout right now. I'm doing lunges as I type this on my phone. But holy shit. I've never been this amped and frustrated in my life. Fucking shit
To girls.
In your young years did any of you actually live by words like "I had one bad relationship so I don't like to date anymore." Or did you just use it as a nervous response to relationship topics?
>>16870591
I used to say so and avoid dating, till I fell in love.
>>16870597
That's what I thought.
See I'm seeing this girl now. We are both 19 getting ready to go to prom this year. After I asked her and she said yes, (and nobody forced her to I promiss she was actually happy that I asked), things get iffy. Like, she is starting to ignore me a bit. Like I try to talk with her and she ignores me type thing. But when I do the same to her like forgetting to walk her to class, take hours to text, don't sit near her, etc to play her, she starts paying more attention to me.
She generally doesn't feel like dating because of her ex. Long story short it was bad, and now she doesn't like dating. But it feels a whole lot like we are more than just friends.
What am I missing here?
>>16870591
Some girls do, some girls use it as a reason to keep dating.
>>16870516
Try small things, likes gasps, sighs and moans. Do you know if it actually DOES weird your boyfriend out, or are you just guessing?
>>16870485
I couldn't do it. I'd want to date someone who's approximately my level of intelligence
>>16870529
What I mean is you know you have an issue, so how are you currently attempting to counteract this problem? I know you know how to vocalize, I am assuming you're not mute, so what happens when you consciously try to vocalize during intercourse?
>>16870591
A person might feel a lack of chemistry, and then mistakenly attribute that feeling to emotional complications from a previous relationship. Then that person might meet someone with whom they have great chemistry, and realize baggage was never the issue.
Keep trying, but know the odds are against you.
to girls:
will u be my gf
>>16870706
No, I have a boyfriend
>>16870706
Got a better one.
To girls:
Would you ever consider dating someone who asked to be your gf on 4chan? any board.
>>16870722
>>16870714 again. Nope.
>>16870665
>we are both 19
>she "doesn't like dating"
Sounds like she's playing hard to get because she thinks it's cute or that you have to prove yourself "worthy" of her or some shit like that.
>>16870726
To girls:
Why wouldn't you elaborate on your answer? Not being snide here. I see this a lot in the thread. Even on much more serious things. When you're probed more on why you answer that way you often say the more important things.
Maybe we all do and I just read male posters answers different.
For the women [that means over 18]:
Name the top 5 things that a man could do that is never redeemable in your eyes.
If this includes not just actions but also words/etc related to the topic at hand please state so.
Girls & Guys
Is it bad that I like the idea of having a sugar baby? Society tells us that golddiggers are terrible, but honestly it seems like a great setup. My weakest points are my looks, since I was critically burned when I was young so I have a scarred face. But I'm charismatic I make a lot of money, so it just seems a million times easier to date a chick into me for that and not have to worry about "does she think I'm hot?"
I'm 24.
>>16870758
> Being violent
> Cheating, especially if emotionally
> Not being honest about something important
> Insulting my parents
That's pretty much it.
>>16870772
yeah dont do that. unless you want to.
>>16870772
It is not bad, but it's sad.
I am sure that there are many people who could go past your scars and just be with you for the person you are. If you want a sugar baby, do it, but being with someone who loves you feels obviously different.
>>16870772
It can work. But I don't think it's really what you want simply because of the kind of women that are into that. Usually they're looking for the lifestyle and to move on. (according to a documentary I saw anyway, it was pretty in depth and covered a functioning sugar relationship)
It will no doubt be easier but it's not gonna be a permanent thing most likely. I wouldn't be satisfied but maybe you would.
Girls and guys
This is going to sound fucked up. But I think I'm starting to lose it~
is it ok if the girl that I'm in love with fucks other guys?
I fell in love with a girl who lives far away from me. we both have mutual feelings for each other (that's very clear). The problem is, because of stuff she wants to accomplish in life. She doesn't want to official into a relationship because it would be really difficult for the both of us and hinder her opportunities. I understand her view. But, she also thinks that sex is not a big deal. And since we are not in a relationship, we both can have sex with whoever we want since we don't live close to each other.
It fucking hurts. But... I think I like this girl so much, I'm starting to accept it. Which is fucking nuts. Because the thought of her getting dicked makes me cringe.. She's told me to go find a cute girl to have sex with before too. It's crazy. We both have FEELINGS for each other for sur, without a doubt. But how can 2 people have feelings for each other but be ok with sex with others? How??
Fuck. I don't know what to do. She's too important in my life
>>16870835
As crappy as open relationships tend to get I don't think you have problems for the right reasons. Why would it be wrong to have an open relationship? Ignoring that jealousy is such a problem. Usually.
So you have religious reasons or philosophical reasons? Maybe you actually think she can't love you if she has sex with other guys.
>>16868706
Men:
Are your performance troubles the woman's fault??
>>16870835
Some people can easily separate sex from love. I personally can't, and apparently you can't either, but she does.
Liking and being close to someone doesn't necessarily mean being in love with them. Maybe her feelings aren't the same as yours. Maybe she wants to get fucked and use you for her emotional needs. Maybe she just doesn't care as much as you think.
You do not have a relationship and she doesn't owe you anything. If you want her to be committed and not seek other people, ask her not to. If you're not fine with her fucking around, tell her. If she doesn't want to stop fucking around, move on, you don't want the same thing from each other and it is going to ruin whatever sort of relationship you decide to have.
>>16870758
Abuse (physical or otherwise)
Cheating
Criminal history that has resulted in a jail sentence (I'm all for rehabilitating criminals, I could just never date one myself)
Lying significantly/lying compulsively
Maybe being an asshole in general? Can't think of a proper fifth one right now
Question
Does a kiss from a girl sober mean anything?
I feel like maybe I did something which messed up my chances with a girl. She's being a bit less flirty, hasn't hung out with me since then and is (or maybe I'm just noticing more) more overt with her and other guys.
Any help in getting over my fear of rejection?
Never had gf, virgin.
>>16869118
I want to be a nice mom someday but like other anons are saying early 20's is too young to start parenthood so I'm not really looking for anyone to date at the moment. Guys at this age aren't looking to be the best of dads either.
Also, pretty sure the ones saying they don't want kids are thankfully doing the gene pool a favor, please don't have kids if you don't want them. It makes their lives miserable too.
>>16870860
If I like her I blame myself. But it could be that I'm not into her of course.
>>16870868
What if it was false imprisonment? Not just the generic "I din do nuffin". Let's say hypothetically you knew 100% they didn't commit the crime but still served time for it.
>>16869118
I am actually hoping to have kids somewhat soon (next few years or so). I'm almost 25. But I'm in an excellent financial situation and I think I'm in the right environment to raise a child. Plus it honestly seems really fun. Sadly no women my age agree with this.
>>16870854
>why is it wrong to have a open relationship?
would you be ok with someone you like getting fucked by someone else? That thought drives me fucking nuts. She's tried encouraging me to go find a girl to have sex with. But I can't, and I won't.
>>16869118
Girl, 22.
Yes, as soon as I'm done with school.
>>16870882
How would I know that they didn't do it 100%? Is it legally acknowledged false imprisonment, or "I didn't do it, I swear!"? I would be more willing to overlook it if it was genuine, but there would then be other compatibility factors like you are probably much older than I am, would have a hard time finding a job (not in a "I want a guy who can support me" sort of way, in a "I don't want to have to support my man" sort of way) etc.
>>16870877
What if it's your gf?
Ladies:
What were your thoughts and reaction when you first realized that oral sex meant sucking a penis and that your bf or husband might ask of you someday?
>>16868706
>on hormonal birth control
>bf still pulls out just for that extra "protection" of not blowing the load inside me
>for the past month or so, bf has been struggling to pull out on time
>don't know why, he is generally very much in control of that
>not worried, because I'm on birth control anyways and also have reproductive issues (but still take the birth control because who knows for sure)
But I find it weird that I've been in a relationship with bf for 6 years and suddenly he can't control his ejaculation as he used to... It's been like this for about a month. Do guys just have periods of things like this or what?
>>16870897
I'd know but from your perspective you couldn't tell without other signs really. I wouldn't assume it's because he doesn't like you because he's your bf. He's with you for some reason.
>>16870908
I honestly can't exactly rememberer my very first reaction, but I've never been off-putted or horrified by it. I like giving my partner pleasure, and oral sex is fun and sexy.
I always had a very positive image of sex, even if I saw it as something I had to share just with a loved one.
>>16870908
I don't live a sheltered life, anon.
>>16868736
You must have been generally interested to have given him your number. It's not fair to someone if you lead them on like that. It's not that hard to say NO to someone when it comes to phone numbers..
>>16870908
It was I guess "taboo" to me at first. Personally, I felt very vulnerable and submissive my first time. Like it was some kind of controlling powerplay because I didn't know what to do and my ex had to convince me to do it.
Then I experienced the relaxation and pleasures of oral sex done on me, and can totally understand why dudes like it so much. I actually deeply enjoy giving my boyfriend blowjobs. I don't feel so vulnerable/sub when I do it now. I actually feel more in control and kind of sexy because I'm pleasing him.
This is more of a general frustration statement about women (sorry). I've been working out, been grooming like crazy like I just got a killer haircut. I feel, look, and smell great. My self-confidence has never been higher. I'm starting to get compliments from women like "your handsome" and etc. Yet I still can't get dates. It's kinda infuriating. I'm basically going hard on all fronts cs major, in symphony, and so on. I'm a self-improvement machine, yet I can never lower the barrier. I have even got over my tendency to clam up in conversations, not to wank my ego more, I can hold a conversation.
I'm in a small town private university so I guess that doesn't help.
>>16870758
>Cheating on me
>Hitting or otherwise physically abusing me
>Bad mouthing me/picking on my flaws or interests, even as a joke, to his friends
>Hurting or being a dick to my dog on purpose
>Hurting or being a dick to my friends
>>16871001
How are you asking women out?
>>16871001
It's because you're a CS major. They only want to date you once you've graduated and you're making six figures. You gotta wait bro.
>>16871001
My philosophy is to go through life in pursuit of what makes me personally fulfilled, and every relationship that I fall into is a happy accident. It's kind of cliché, but the old idiom, "A watched pot never boils," is applicable in your situation. I know, easier said than done, but all my best relationships came when I wasn't looking for one.
>>16871011
Usually I just play it natural like after a fun conversation I'm like hey I was gonna go grab a coffee wanna come with? Or something in that vein. Maybe that's not innovative enough.
>>16871031
Do you know these women prior to asking them out? Or do you just approach random women, chat a bit and then ask them out?
>>16871019
True that. I'm just feeling like I'm missing out on something special.
>>16871001
>in symphony
The fact you're calling it "symphony" and not just "orchestra" like the rest of us is making me think you're a douche and that is the true reason you can't get dates....I'm just being honest as a fellow CS major who is also in orchestra at a private university. I wouldn't necessarily say that someone who calls themselves a "self-improvement machine" is someone I'd want to date. Sorry anon, but you seem a bit up yourself.
>>16871036
Sometimes for both. It kinda just depends sometimes I'm like fuck it this person seemed cool and I'll never see them again in my life so I go for it. Usually with people I've met before I get a strong awkward reading so I leave it alone.
I'm not horndogging every person I meet but I usually give it a shot if I get a strong enough feeling.
>>16870758
>pedophile
>physically harms or has harmed others (children, adults, elderly, animals, anyone)
>no desire to ever be employed (and/or relies on his parents' money)
>has done shit that led to him being arrested or detained in some other form of police custody
>someone who genuinely believes in magical, spiritual shit
Weird. 4chan went down for a few seconds.
>>16870918
I think he's just more comfortable with you, so he's gotten less on guard and vigilant about it.
Same things been happening with my and my girlfriend lately. I'm thinking about holding myself back less, so I'm getting too lost in the moment and not pulling otu in time more.
You could always suggest he try more kegals to try and hold back more if you're worried about it.
>>16870758
>pedo
>cat or animal abuser
> clingy as fuck
> doesn't respect boundaries or the word NO
> un-medicated mental illness.
>>16871052
There's a difference between an orchestra and and symphony orchestra. His choice of vocabulary doesn't make him a douche if everyone else in his symphony calls it symphony as well.
Personally I always said "symphony orchestra" but you should probably stop reading into things so much.
>>16871052
As a non classical music person I don't know the difference.
>>16870037
I get terrible cramps so I struggle to eat at all
>>16870758
Abusive, physically and mentally
Extremely stupid
Unfaithful
Practicing pedo
Wants me to physically abuse them heavily
>>16870516
Keep your mouth slightly open and breathe through your mouth instead of nose. Take deep breathes. It will come naturally from there.
>>16871083
Symphony orchestra is the one that the people who can actually play instruments audition for and get selected for. It's the one that incorporates a brass section and woodwinds with the rest of the string instruments, and is therefore the only one worth mentioning. No one brags about being in orchestra unless it's the highest tier one. Our university has two tiers of orchestras, one symphony orchestra and one concert orchestra. In highschool we had three just because there were too many kids who could play instruments well, but just like in college, everyone refers to it as "orchestra", not denoting which one it is as to not make other people feel bad if they're in the lower-tier one. It was a matter of etiquette as well as humility.
You might think I'm reading into this too much, but I can tell from your post that your ego is what is unattractive to women. You should probably work on that instead of claiming how great your haircut is and how supposedly girls tell you you're handsome.
Nightlife = Risky and Dangerous?
Don't know how it's like everywhere else out there, but the risks are still there.
>>16870908
Extremely turned on. Blowjobs have been a huge fantasy of mine since I got on the internet in the beginning of middle school and learnt they were a thing.
>>16871136
How about you read what was written instead of being argumentative for the sake of being argumentative? I'm clearly not the same anon that was having problems with women.
Just because things work a certain way in your little part of the world doesn't mean it works the same way everywhere. At my high school, we said orchestra for both tiers, but for my symphony orchestra, we called it "symphony orchestra" to outsiders, and people that knew about the organization, we'd use the title of our orchestra 'conservatory' for highest tier and so on.
I guess I must have taken you for smarter than you are when I said you were reading into it too much, because clearly you're only reading what you want to see.
Why would she keep in contact with me and text to see how i am, but when i ask her to hang out she doesn't respond until she does her usual check up on me. I never initiate and kind of want to forget about her but she always pulls this crap. Should i tell her to stop it and move along?
>>16871253
Don't even tell her, just move along.
Would a girl lose interest if I hold off on asking her out too long?
Basically
>have to do group presentation in a class
>get in a group with this qt
>seems like we're hitting it well enough
>presentation is in a month
I was thinking of holding off on asking her to do something until at the least the day of the presentation so that if its a no, shit wont get weird in the group and that we can finish the presentation thing without any issues. On the other hand, I feel like waiting is just going to make her lose any interest if she has any, and that its better to just go for it. What do?
>>16869063
The world needs more people like you. kek
Girls: If I think you're cute but I don't know you, is there ever a smooth way to approach you in a situation that doesn't prompt it? Or is it always creepy?
for instance in public transportation, at a cafeteria, etc.
I'm in a contemplative mood, I want to ask:
Girls:
Why the fuck do you come to 4chan?
I come because I enjoy the anonymity and the discussions, but I had to be egged into it because of the vile reputation this place has. What sort of appeal does this place hold to you? And why did you choose this place, this advice board, out of all the possible subreddits and tumblrs out there? What makes you come back to 4chan?
>>16871365
The discussions are fun. I like spooky things so I go onto /x/. When I am in an anime mood, /a/. If I need advice, /adv/.
Everything is funnier here and I always get a good laugh.
>>16871289
You can approach me and ask me for the time or directions or whatever, but you won't be getting my number from me
>>16871365
Like you, I enjoy the anonymity it offers. I like that I don't need an account to participate so that's one less username that can be traced back to me, and I like being able to say what I want to without having to worry about offending someone. I've been on forums before where I've inadvertently offended someone and it just leads to the biggest shitfest, and that's just not something I'm a fan of.
I also like how many different backgrounds, points of view and stories people here have. I've always enjoyed hearing people's stories, and /adv/ especially means I get an opportunity to read them.
Also, I like helping people, and having grown a lot as a person in the last few years, coupled with the fact that I like to think I'm a pretty level headed, unbiased person, I think I'm quite good at giving advice. I'm also a law student, so I try to help with legal questions where I can
I do have a tumblr, but I'm not terribly active there, and that's mostly where I go to be 'silly'. I've never been active on reddit. The format of it, as well as having to make an account, turns me off.
Paranoia incoming:
>dating bf for 4 months
>only thing that bothers me a bit is that he has one very close female friend
>sees her almost every week
>they only do one-on-one stuff
>if i understood that right, she's his EX
>she texts him with a fuckton of emojis and hearths
>yesterday we randomly talked about saunas and i ask him where he goes. he tells me that (female friend) has one at home that he uses. W-w-what?
>i told him ask her to join us when we went to a movie with friends. Has lame excuse. (i wanted to see how they act around each other)
>has random selfies of her on his phone
>on the other side, he has canceled plans with her to see me
>all his other actions tell me that he's serious about "us"
>mfw i'm still paranoid
what do /adv/?
>>16871394
What are you worried about? Him or her?
>>16871394
Doesn't sound like paranoia as much as it sound like appropriate suspicion.
Whether or not she's his ex-girlfriend or not is irrelevant. I wouldn't tolerate a partner who acted like that.
If he's so serious about the two of you, throwing her away shouldn't be an issue, especially not if she's an earlier lover. There's never room for old lovers to keep hanging around new relationships.
>>16871404
Her. He seems to be a naive idiot when it comes to her. I mean, all the things i listed above: he shared them with me as if this is absolutely normal behaviour.
>>16871408
Yeah, that she's his ex is the thing that really bothers me. I mean, at one point he thought SHE's the one. How could i possibly be ok with him still being so intimate with her...?
>>16871410
If it's her that you're worried about, all I can think of for you to do is talk to your boyfriend and tell him you're not comfortable with the behaviour. Like >>16871408, I wouldn't want a partner who did that stuff with their ex
>>16871422
I'm actually anxious about that talk. What if she's legitly a good friend? As i know my bf, he WOULD cut contact for me, but i would prob always feel guilty about having made him do so...
>>16871394
May as well give him enough rope to hang himself. By your own admission it's not as if he's putting you off as expense to hang out with her. If he's going to be doing something scummy, may as well give him the opportunity to fuck up the way I figure it. You have valid grounds to talk to him about the sauna, but the rest is a bit silly.
>>16871408
>If he's so serious about the two of you, throwing her away shouldn't be an issue
The idea of throwing away friends because your SO is insecure is hilarious. It says more about how little their friendship meant to him rather than how serious he is about his gf.
>>16871065
>(and/or relies on his parents' money)
I'm curious how extensive this is meant to be and how old you are. Unless I'm misinterpreting it you look down on people for having their parents help them pay for college for instance.
If your friend is really... comfortable around you is there a way to convert it to fwb. Like its clear that we dont have romantic feelings for each other, but then she reached over me and laughed it off.
>>16871644
Ask her? Or hint at it, she might've thought about it herself too.
If she's opposed to it though, don't try to push it.
>>16869016
Trying too hard/coming across as too eager is a big one.
You need to learn how to flirt correctly too otherwise you'll come across as awkward or weird.
With enough charisma, money, social status, physical attractiveness, will my 5'7 height be nullified? As in, will it not affect my life anymore?
I'm super insecure of my height because I feel it sets up boundaries for what I wanna do.
>>16871678
I think that height is a problem only if you let it be a problem. Focus on your personality, be an interesting person, be nice but don't let being nice the only thing you have: be interesting, smart, funny.
I'm 5'6" and my boyfriend is 5'7".
He's broke (I pay his university fees), and he's a bit awkward at first and not extremely charismatic. Fairly attractive if you ask my friends, but not my type in general.
I like him because he's really smart. He is interesting to be around and we can talk for days, about personal things, about the world around us. He's strong willed. He's not insecure at all. He is really funny, sweet, nice.
>>16871678
Your thoughts in your head telling you that being 5"7 is an issue is more of an issue of actually being 5"7.
I don't like singing or dancing so much.
Is this a turnoff for you ladies?
To girls: how much does height matter to you?
I'm not insecure about my height, but I would like to know how much this matters to you.
>>16871731
No, even if I studied ballet and I can dance well.
I don't like clubbing, karaoke or any activity where you get attentions, tho.
>>16871733
I find very tall guys attractive. Especially tall and skinny guys.
I don't think I'd be able to date someone much shorter than me (I'm average), but other than that it would never be a dealbreaker. Physical attractiveness isn't the most important thing, and height is just a tiny part of it.
>>16871644
>If your friend is really... comfortable around you is there a way to convert it to fwb. Like its clear that we dont have romantic feelings for each other, but then she reached over me and laughed it off.
Depending on personalities, Not actively. You just sort of fall in to it. I.E. you're both dancing, drunk, and start grinding in to each other more provocatively, then start touching more and more, start kissing, start having sex.
>>16871678
>>16871733
>height
Pretty sure this is in the OP.
You being insecure about it is MUCH a bigger deal than your height. I'm 5'7", my girlfriend is 5'8" and likes wearing heels. I don't give a fuck. As far as I know, my height has never been a problem (and all of my friends were like 5'10"-6'8").
Some people will have minimums, but some people also only date people of a particular skin color, or ethnic background, or whatever else superfluous attributes. Everyone's entitled to their own taste, but for the majority of people, what it comes down to and what makes good relationships is that you're someone that's attractive and compatible to them as a whole.
>>16868706
Girls, what would be the least traumatic way to get raped for you? I'm pretty sure I'll snap sooner or later but maybe I can do it in a way that'll only do minimal damage.
>>16871752
There's really no "less traumatic" way. Get psychological support. You clearly do have issues.
>>16871759
>There's really no "less traumatic"
Oh come on, being raped at gunpoint has to be worse than getting raped while you're passed out. There is a spectrum here and I want to know what's all the way down there as least traumatic.
>>16871766
Male.
I'd imagine it's drugging her with a black out drug and leaving her in her home when done.
Might not even be sure. But you really shouldn't rape. Just keep aiming lower anon. I have no doubt you will get to someone.
>>16871766
To pass out I'd need to be extremely drunk or drugged, which would mean I acted like an idiot, and would make me feel guilty and responsible for what happened to me.
Maybe less traumatic for the experience itself, but dealing with it would be harder.
>>16871752
Yeah, drunk and passed out. Maybe she doesn't even remember so who cares. Use a condom thought!! Getting pregnant or an std will be very traumatic
>>16871766
>Oh come on, being raped at gunpoint has to be worse than getting raped while you're passed out. There is a spectrum here and I want to know what's all the way down there as least traumatic.
I'm a different anon and a dude but:
My gf was raped and physically tortured by her father repeatedly growing up (she's got scars).
An old flame was drugged and raped at a party--which her boyfriend then dumped her because of.
You'd think my GF would be the one more fucked over by it (and in some ways she is--she definitely has some lingering triggers) but the other girl definitely had issues with trust and self-esteem moving forward. Emotional she was a total fucking mess vs my gf who has her shit together.
Don't fucking do it.
I'm not a confrontational person and have the martial arts credo of non-violence ingrained in to me, but rape is the one thing where if I find out you do it, I will beat the shit out of you on principle.
>>16871769
>I'd imagine it's drugging her with a black out drug and leaving her in her home when done.
Interesting.
>>16871773
>would be worse
So there are things that aren't as bad, you literally just said that. I just want to know what's at the bottom of that list.
>>16871774
I'm a virgin and I don't use public restrooms, the chance of me having an STD is basically zero.
>>16871776
Interesting, but calm down man. We don't even live on the same continent, it'll probably be a specific girl and she deserves it anyway.
>>16871733
Not all that important, I'm 5'5 so as long as I'm not taller than you I don't care much. I think the way short guys often blame all their, uh, shortcomings on their height is much more unattractive than their height could ever be. I have this one friend who blames all her life problems on her asymmetrical breasts, it's the same vein of stupidity.
>>16871780
>she deserves it anyway
Assuming you are not just trolling, what could a girl do to deserve being raped?
girls,
what's the best period pain remedy?
My girlfriend has a pretty bad period pain where she rolls on the floor and can't do anything for 2 days. She took 6 paracetamol tablets a day during her 2nd or 3rd day of period.
Is this much pain even normal?
>>16871788
Definitely not normal, but girls are all different and some periods are just stronger than others. Ask her gyno maybe, get her some stronger pain meds.
>>16871777
>So there are things that aren't as bad, you literally just said that. I just want to know what's at the bottom of that list.
There are many aspects and it all would be always awful.
Being fully awake and conscious would make the experience traumatizing as fuck. But I'd fight you back, try my best to avoid it, and I wouldn't feel that responsible it happened anyway.
Being drugged at a party and raped when I'm not conscious wouldn't be as traumatizing for the experience itself, but it would mean I've been irresponsible and accepted a drink from a stranger, or didn't stay with my friends/boyfriend. I'd feel like I'm partially responsible for what happened to me, and it'd make me feel guilty.
Being raped in the street would make me feel ashamed and would be hard to live a normal life after it, knowing my rapist entered my house would make me feel enormously vulnerable and scared of everything.
I don't think one is better or worse than the other. The overall experience is just always equally shitty. Just don't fucking do it.
