Trusting women
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Im shaking here. A friend of mine was just telling me how one of her friends who's basically extremely promiscuous has been trying to trap a guy into marriage and raising a child she was pregnant with before meeting him.
She literally told him she was pregnant as soon as they started dating basically and he fully believes it and is incredibly supportive of her.
Now Im really scared because my friend then proceeded to tell me just how easy it is to fuck up birth control pills and my ex I feel like may have been trying to trap me. Like she would tell me she forgot to take the pills right before we had sex and at the time I just thought that it was no big deal. What harm could missing some hours or a day do like any other prescribed medicine.
I really dont trust women anymore.
>>16859741
>trust A woman
Go for it.
>trust WOMEN
Idiotic.
That's really all it boils down to.
Wrap it up!
That way your're covered literally and figuratively if the pill fails.
>Like she would tell me she forgot to take the pills right before we had sex and at the time I just thought that it was no big deal. What harm could missing some hours or a day do like any other prescribed medicine.
This isn't her fault. If you're using only BC pills as your contraceptive, it's your responsibility to research their effectiveness and decide whether the risk is worth it. She did her part in telling you that she didn't take it properly, it's not her fault that you thought it wasn't a big deal.
>>16859741
The normal pill doesn't fuck up unless you miss it twice in a row. They say to take it the same time every day, but you don't need a back up method unless you have missed two.
UNLESS she is on the mini pill which is a low hormone pill they mostly prescribe to nursing mothers. Then if you miss it by more than like 4 hours you are fucked.
I took the Lil for 10 years, fucked frequently, and never got pregnant. And I was pregnant 6 weeks after I quit the pill so it wasn't a fertility issue (same guy)
I was so bad at taking the pill in the early years I often was taking two every other day (as the directions say to if you miss a day) and I never had a pregnancy scare. Unless you mistrust your girl to the extent that you think she simply not taking them at all, then I would relax a little.
I often would tell my man right before we had sex that I had forgotten, as that is the natural tie you remember that you haven't taken it. Sometimes I would get up from the bed naked and go pop the pill.. No big deal.
>>16859808
thats not how informed consent works
>>16859827
No, because informed consent is not a concept that's applicable here.
>>16859830
>concepts only apply when I say they do
>>16859831
Are you suggesting that she tells him to get independent advice and sign a document saying that he understands the risks? Because that's what informed consent means.
>>16859839
>An informed consent can be said to have been given based upon a clear appreciation and understanding of the facts, implications, and consequences of an action.
Are you implying you shouldnt inform you partners of risk so they can make informed decisions.
Your statement simplifies to simply saying that you shouldnt trust anyone and only yourself.
>>16859845
She told him that she hadn't taken the pill properly. Only retards don't know that this means that the pill won't be as effective, if at all. It's his responsibility to make sure that he understood the implications too. If you don't want to get a girl pregnant, you do what you can to avoid it, which may mean wearing a condom even if the girl in on BC. She did her part, if OP wasn't a retard he'd know the risks.
>>16859853
>I didn't take my bc properly
>Ok, i don't know if that's a big deal, so let's do it
>Ok, that sounds good, let's do it
>his fault
If anything, it's both their fault for not knowing, but the idea (that is sounds like you're putting forward) that it's somehow his at that point is ridiculous.
>>16859853
>Only retards don't know that this means that the pill won't be as effective,
Thats not how informed consent works and definitely the mindset anyone in a relationship should have. You are the type of person people cant trust.
>Like she would tell me she forgot to take the pills right before we had sex and at the time I just thought that it was no big deal
If she was trying to trap you she wouldnt have told you that. She informed you that she fucked it up but you decided to have sex anyways.
I hope your friend has informed that guy though.
>>16859869
More like she wanted an excuse while knowing what she was doing.
>>16859741
Your mistake is think of women as some kind of monolithic homogeneous group where the actions of an individual determine the actions of them all. Women are people, and like all people some are jerks, but many aren't.
When you see a man being shitty you think: that individual is shitty. But when a woman is shitty you think: I'll add this to the crimes of all women. So women, in your lazy mind, accumulate guilt while men don't, since you only keep score with women. With men, because they are like you, you treat them as individuals.
If you stop trying to group people together and instead think of them as individuals you'll avoid a lot of stupid, angry thoughts. It will also greatly improve your relationships with those people you previously and erroneously treated as mere representatives of a group instead of individuals.
>>16860020
What crimes do men do that can be generalized to the gender. Most crimes women do can be generalized to their gender.
>>16860020
not true; i treat women on a case by case basis, and thus far all applicants and potential applicants are fail; a majority of the failings are due to" teehee i was all arghhh because hormones it's not my fault".
>>16860031
You shouldn't be 'generalizing' any crimes to any gender. That's foolish. Women are as complex and diverse as men. You will meet good and bad ones at the same rate as you meet good and bad men. If you want to speak about men and women in general then you must use actual studies with sufficient stats and rigor to be meaningful. A single shitty woman says nothing about the other 3.5 billion or so of them.
You can make enemies of any group of people if you add all their crimes together as a group but allow your own in-group to be blameless. It's a cognitive distortion having everything to do with emotional reasoning and confirmation bias but nothing to do with reality.
The issue for men who distrust women and who treat all women as representing some homogeneous group of women is that distrust leads them to treat women in a way that alienates them. If someone acts like they don't trust you, you're less likely to trust them back. This is true of all people. This leads to those distrustful sexist men creating a self-fulfilling prophecy whereby their distrust in women leads more women to distrust them in return, deepening their tragic misunderstanding of women.
If you treat every individual you meet as a person without judging them for past crimes of other people in whatever group they're in you'll have a much easier time in life. It's a far more realistic and healthy way to interact with the people around you.
>>16860082
If you treated women as individuals you wouldn't have any trouble trusting women in general because the actions of a few bad individuals wouldn't mean anything to women as a group. Do the math: [number of women you don't like' / [all women' is a VERY SMALL number. Your sample size is too small to say anything meaningful about women. Think with your brain, not your emotions.
How many men have you dated? You should try dating an equal number of men to get a group with which to compare. Otherwise your data will be skewed.
>>16860087
>>16860093
Well, you`re wrong, because this one girl 5 years ago had shitty friends and they all laughed at me!!!
I`m so lonely.
>>16860093
you mean the faculties i have and the experiences they have garnered are invalid ? NO YOU MADAM, ARE INVALID!
>>16860087
>Women are as complex and diverse as men
Yes but their complex in the way that makes them more likely to do those crimes.
Women are pretty shitty statistically speaking when it comes to a lot of things. Youre not as unique as youd like to be.
>>16860134
Lol please send us the study showing correlation between being shitty and being a woman.
For every man counting the number of shitty women he met, you can find a woman with the same number of shitty men she met.
Wait, does the woman not count because she is invalid and a shitty person statistically?
>>16860157
>I dont know anything about statistics of how awful women are
Its assumed that you are educated enough in basic facts when posting of 4chan
>>16860157
Basic facts?
And you`re not on 4chan right now? How do you assume to know better than mr based on a single post?
What makes your experience or opinions more valid than mine?
Try harder, mister. Keep on blindly blaming half of the population.
>>16860157
Women aren't shitty.
They're adult children.
Children are great if you like them.
But even if you love them, they can and are a royal pain in the ass.
If you can't stand them, it's probably because they really do suck a lot of the time, but once you have an emotional attachment to one, you'll put up with their shit, because they're the most important thing in the world to you.
Women=Children
t. Dad
>trusting any human being
>ever
>>16859862
If both are ignorant, both are to blame, and both have responsibility of any consequent child.
>>16860031
Rape?
Passional murders?
>>16860486
Is highly unlikely a girl is ignorant about that. Since you get informed when you get the prescription. You can't but the blame on the male like that.
>>16859741
If paternity tests were mandatory we wouldn't be having this discussion. I thi k men worldwide should push for mandatory paternity tests.
We are the ones who have to pay child support and alimony, is it too much to ask that we at least get some king of insurance? Come on people, we have rights too!
>>16860495
These are done by women too. Nice try, though.
I wouldn't worry too much, OP. Your ex might have been trying to entrap you. But she would actually have had to have been off of birth control for quite awhile for her fertility to kick back in.
One of the hard things about women who take birth control and eventually want to have children is that they often have to spend anywhere from a few months to almost a year off of it to be successful.
This isn't 100% of cases, of course. Things can definitely still go awry if she wasn't taking it at the same time every day other than the few days that she 'forgot'. Or if she lied about only forgetting it occasionally.
Birth control is a two-way street as well. If your ex told you she forgot her birth control, you should have responded by applying your own and putting on a condom. I know it doesn't really work that way in the heat of the moment, but come on. You don't want babies, right?
And on her end, if y'all had sex while she was unsteady on her birth control, she should also have taken the initiative to get some plan B the following day if she really didn't want to have a baby.
I'm guessing her thinking is of most silly bitches in my age group, 'we made a mistake, but lol, whatever happens happens, it was meant to be if I get pregnant.'
>>16860923
Most men dont understand that if you miss the pill its not effective. As in the urgency to take it at the same time every day.
She wasn't trying to trap you, you faggot. She was literally telling you TO YOUR FUCKING FACE they she missed a pill. Granted, she should be more fucking responsible and actually take it on schedule but she was being no less irresponsible than you were for going "hur dur it's just medicine, time to get muh sick wet!" Why didn't you know how birth control works, you stupid fuck? Are you a Republican or something? Afraid that you might catch the gay or that Jesus will slap you in the dick if you learn too much about a reproductive system works?
If you're not going to take the time to properly learn sex ed then you need to fixing slap yourself before you start making wild accusations against somebody.
>>16859741
>What harm could missing some hours or a day do like any other prescribed medicine.
it depends on the pill she was taking. if she was taking a combination pill, a few hours wouldn't fuck her by much as long as she was healthy.
if she was taking a progesterone-only pill, you can only miss it by a window of two hours before it becomes ineffective.
most women are on the combination pill, though.
>>16861019
>Why didn't you know how birth control works
Do you know how Ethambutol works?
>>16861019
What is informed consent? If there were any downside such as aids or illness the law would throw the book at you. Its not enough to simply say something without the person understanding the consequences. Its how modern society works today.
>>16859741
Snip snip
Or
Pull out
It's not them at hard and not that difficult.
>>16859741
Haven't read any other posts besides yours OP.
No one here knows your ex gf. There's really no reason to worry unless you know for sure she had a baby without your knowing it's yours.
About the birth control,
1. You shouldn't let someone else, be it guy or girl, solely be in charge of the contraception. You never know what someone's true intentions are, no matter how long you've been together.
2. It depends on what type of birth control she's on. If she's using the pill then she needs to take it at the same time every day. The pill won't work as accurately otherwise.
When women go to get abortions, a lot of the time the nurses will try to get the woman on a shitty contraception pill in the hopes she won't take it every day and get pregnant again.
>>16861748
>You never know what someone's true intentions are
>never trust anyone, not even yourself
