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Hello.
I'm a 22 year old male. I've always had an aggravated hate for rapists, molesters of any kind, ever since i was a child. Could get literally sick by just hearing about those. Sometime ago, i dated a girl who was raped and attempted to make me jealous by doing teases with the person who raped her (that was in her family, and still lived close to her). That destroyed me for some time, and after some therapy i got back on my feet. But now i feel like i will always have this eerie sensation that some girl i'll date will have been raped, and it'll make some thing complicated, and i'll suffer. I'm not afraid of suffering, not afraid of being cheated on. But this particular fear, for some reason, this trauma-like thing, is hard to control.
Thing is, i'm about to start dating a new girl. She is very sweet, adorable, and has an unique autistic-like-in-a-cute-way-personality. She likes me deeply, and is 20 years old. However, she strongly, utterly hates her father, and started doing so quite recently, by her. She told me it was because he was abusive towards her mother and used her (around here, being ''abusive'' just means physically and emotionally). She hates him a whole lot. From 6 months back when we spoke, she just really disliked him and even wanted to ask him questions. Now, it's a really hateful feeling by her words. She doesn't have traces of abuse, and outside the mentioned, she really likes the idea of having a gun and learning martial arts (which makes me think she has self-defense issues, even if i like those aswell, but out of personal preference, not trauma). But i already have the eering sensation back. While writing this, while seeing my own words, i already feel better, because i know i'm willing to stay with her no matter the past. But there are weird things. She also stopped talkiung to me 3 months after that until this year, for no apparent reason. She has lots of scars from the past, she had a cutting, suicidal phase. Cont.