I'm 24 and still haven't gotten my first boyfriend yet.
But at this point the relationship I fantasised about all those years when I was a teenager is impossible.
I'll never have a passionate youthful teenage relationship or a sexual awakening
What's even the point now?
It's really depressing.
How do I get out of this depression?
>>16843230
you dont what happens is you start getting close to 30 and feel that clock ticking and you settle for somebody you dont really love who just acts as a provider, your shot at a loving marriage and long term relationship is nearly over
Focus on science and meaningful advancements. Anyone can breed - yours is a contribution of much greater necessity
I'll be your bf op
>>16843230
youre still young at 24
First love happens at any age...
>>16843230
btw if youre in Toronto, I could give you a shot
OP I'm sure you could find some awkward boy to do awkward things with right here on this site. Just look at this poor fella: >>16843250
He's offering to be your boyfriend and all he has seen of you is a few words. So cute right?
>>16843254
It won't be a teeange relationship.
>>16843230
What, you fat or some?
>>16843256
No you're not a teenager. But what did you really want? That experience then or that experience?
>>16843256
Teenage relationships have no emotional fulfillment and there is nothing for you there unless you have the brain of a teenager.
Your teenage days may be past you, OP, but that doesn't mean you can't love someone, and be loved in return. Sure ,it won't be the same, but that doesn't mean it's automatically worse. It's easy to forget ourselves in the past, but it's important to live in the now, too. Good luck.
>>16843260
Teenage relationships are so innocent... its hard to find it when youre older.
The bad part about it is there's a lot of irrational things going on with teenage hormones constantly fluxing about. Love alone provokes irrational action, teenage love even more so.
>>16843260
it's part of growing up.
>>16843262
Any relationship now is no substitute for what I missed out on.
>>16843230
Im feeling like this a 20
Will you be my gf cake onee-san?
>>16843270
It isn't meant to act as a substitute. Like I said, the teenage years are gone, you aren't going to have the experience you want. My point is that you can still achieve love, and that it isn't necessarily a bad thing in comparison.
>>16843265
Lolwut. Teenager relationships are shit. You missed absolutely nothing.
>>16843276
The possibility of finding love at this age doesn't make me feel better about what I missed out on.
>>16843282
Well boo fucking hoo, then. What do you want from us?
The teenage years are behind you, but you can find someone in the same phase of arrested development as you. Or you can grow and learn to love as an adult, not that different :-)
Teenage relationships are absolute shit. You missed out on nothing. They aren't sweet and innocent idealized little gems. You can still have a sweet, caring relationship now. The kind of relationship you have is based on the person you're with, not your ages.
I met my current girlfriend when I was 27 and she was 24 and I feel everything I felt when I had crushes on girls in middle school or high school. She's just incredible. I think anybody can find someone that does that for them.
>>16843285
A way to get out of this depression.
>>16843282
You don't know what you missed out on, only an idea from what you heard on movies.
So how can you possibly know what it feels like to have missed something you never actually experienced?
Move on.
>>16843277
Maybe you had a bad experience.
My first love was in my teenage years.
Yeah it was absoliutely dreadful and confusing, but at 15, having a girl come over your house as you skip school and not worry about paying bills and status and what not is definitely more innocent than "adult" relationships.
In teenage relationships, you have a a chance to grow with your partner in their developmental years which could be a good or bad thing.
I'm sorry but teenage love isn't real because it's very hard to havean emotional experience with the profundity of "love" when you'rea teenager. When it happens, which, you're 24, it will probably happen, you'll know. Just sit back and relax and focus on yourself.
>>16843230
>Female
>Unable to get boyfriend
Haaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha
Oh thank you OP. I needed a good chuckle this morning.
If it helps OP I am more or less like you and I only had two teenage relationships (no sex though for various reasons, but the passion was there). They sucked because I was anxious and moody as a teenager. Now things are much better because I am much better.
>>16843290
Don't obsess over things that you can't change. You can't turn back the clock, and neither can we.
24 is hardly an old woman, so you're being ridiculous. Stop moaning and whining about the past, there's nothing to be done about it, and you're just acting like a baby. Look to the future. Start learning to put yourself out there.
If it makes you feel better, the fantasies you've got in your head about a "passionate youthful teenage relationship or a sexual awakening" RARELY work out that way in real life. You probably enjoy those fantasies more than most girls enjoy their first time, or their first boyfriend. The truth is most young people don't know what they want, don't know how to treat each other, and aren't emotionally equipped to be in a relationship. Many of these relationships pretty much end in heartbreak, sometimes rough enough to leave people bitter and untrusting for the rest of their lives. MANY girls have a "sexual awakening" when an older guy pretty much grooms and molests them.
In many ways, you dodged a lot of pitfalls by waiting until you're a bit older, more mature, more experienced with people. A lot of 24-year-olds would do ANYTHING to have a clean slate again. So you could look at it as a positive, rather than fucking whining and self-pitying all day long.
>>16843285
its a girl, she doesnt want help or advice she just wants to bitch without changing anything
>>16843311
I've always put myself out there. I've just been unsuccessful.
Let's say I'm lucky enough to get my first boyfriend now. So what? It's not going to be anything like what I want, it will just be a boring adult relationship,
I don't have a clean slate I've had my heart broken by people who I liked but didn't like me back. I've been severely bullied by people to the point where I don't trust anyone who's nice to me.
I don't have any of the relationship experience that most of my peers have. They're the ones who are well equipped to deal with relationships, I'm not
Where the fuck is the positive in any of this
>>16843290
Sounds like an odd thing to be depressed about. Are you actually sure that this is it? You sure it's not just a longing for the past because you don't consider yourself doing as well as you'd like right now?
>>16843325
>Let's say I'm lucky enough to get my first boyfriend now. So what? It's not going to be anything like what I want, it will just be a boring adult relationship
How do you know that? Adult relationships can be MUCH better than teenage relationships. Ask literally anyone who has experienced both.
The problem is that you're dwelling on the past and clinging to a fantasy. Just open your fucking eyes and look ahead. Keep an open mind. You're not going to get anywhere by crying over spilled milk, so just get over it
>>16843325
Jesus God, and I thought I was a cynical fuck. Believe it or not, there's plenty of men out there who didn't have young love either, who'd try their damndest to replicate a passionate and innocent relationship. Only a small percentage of young lovers actually marry each other, so its not like you missed out on finding a husband, and Ive known several guys that got charged with stautory rape for having underage sex. If you've given up all hope on relationships, ok, but its a shitty reason to do so just because you never got to experience the impossible, romanticized version of young love that happens more in movies than in real life.
>>16843326
I wasn't doing well in the past so I don't see how that would make me long for it.
I'm sad because the door is completely closed now.
>>16843325
Why do you presume you could ever get a relationship that isn't boring? And why not now if you could have one in the past?
Your past experiences don't have to color your future so much.
It seems you have a view of teenage relationships that's a bit too romantic. Especially considering you've never had one. Relationship experience isn't really required if your partner is good at that stuff. Sure, leaves you more vulnerable I guess.
>>16843350
Well you clearly have a high estimation of how it would be like. It doesn't matter what it was like. Anyone can wish they were a teen again.
>Male complains about not being able to get a girlfriend
Stop being a fat loser!
Workout!
Lift!
Get some hobbies you fucking weirdo!
Buy some better clothes!
>Woman complains about not being able to get a boyfriend
There's the right man out there for you.
Please, tell me about your emotions and we'll talk about what they mean.
I'd be willing to give you a shot, anon.
You're young and there's still plenty of time!
You're beautiful just the way you are.
Fuck all of you faggot and your pandering bullshit.
>>16843366
Not me, friendo. The problem with men vs women is that men have to work to get girls, so generally its just a matter of motivating them into improving themesleves. Girls get so much attention anyway that any girl who cries about being foreveralone probably has some deeply rooted emotional issues that no amount of time in the gym or job will fix. That's why I left this reply >>16843349
because I get resentful towards women who act all hopeless and depressed when over all, I think men have it worse.
Guys I've figured out a way to not feel so depressed
Some people miss out on having parents or having legs. My missing out on early relationships is just my own personal misfortune just like people have other ones.
>>16843769
Great anon. Not sure how you made that connection but it's great. I've lost my grandparents. Probably why I'm depressed too.
>>16843369
Time in the gym will fix plenty of foreveralone women's problems.
>>16843791
I think it's because people talk about early relationships like they're a universal experience, which makes you feel inferior and depressed when you haven't and will never experience it
Just like the way people talk about having mothers or legs or whatever like it's a universal experience. But it's not.
And I'm not inferior or subhuman because I was rejected by everyone growing up. I'm just different.
>>16843825
That's a very fair point. I'm a virgin everyone I've known have had sex now. I really want sex, didn't really care for it before. Very similar to your ideas about teen romance.
Didn't view it like that at all, I thought I was just sexually frustrated by now.
>>16843366
Literally /r9k/ - the post. There is absolutely nothing connecting your post with reality, it's just a byproduct of your bitter mind.
>>16843854
You're right I must have been making up all of those things I observed throughout my years here on adv.
You're fucking retarded.
>>16843270
That's your problem OP
You have high expectations. You're also probably bitter and jealous. I had a teenage relationship and let me tell you right now that it's filled with irrational arguments and even more irrational behaviour.
It's riddled with exaggerated expectations and trends, like "text me at 6 AM EVERY morning because that's when I get up and I want to see your text before I shower and do my hair and get ready for school and then go to my classes. I don't want to wait until LUNCH to hear from you." And other bull shit like that.
You think teenage relationships are so innocent? Get your head out of anime culture, even the Japanese portray teenage relationships as a rebellious phase. People that put those type of things on a pedestal often get disappointed and shy away from those experiences, even more so whenever you fantasize about anything, your mind tricks itself into believing it has already accomplished it and experienced it, therefore you never really get to experience it at all.
Instead of dreaming, fantasizing, and having high expectations, I suggest you just do it. Don't judge the guys you meet and just have fun meeting guys of any size, age, or culture. You set yourself up for disappointment otherwise.
And going back to teenage relationships, the kind that last for 2-6 months. They are horrendous. Especially when you're about to graduate, because then you both have to make a decision whether to go to a school YOU want to go to, or go to the same school, and then whether you take the programs YOU want to take, or both of you pursue the same degrees.
In any case, relationships, feelings, and emotional connections are all messy things. They are messy and seldom few people fully realise most of that shit even past their 20's.
So even though you absolutely convinced yourself you'll never have a "teenage" relationship, whatever the hell you mean by that, let it be known that people in their 20's are basically still teenagers.
>>16843920
>Instead of dreaming, fantasizing, and having high expectations, I suggest you just do it.
Hah, if I could just do it I would have had a relationship many years ago.
I've never been successful at getting a relationship, I wouldn't know how to get a guy to like me in that way.
>>16843932
>I don't know how to get a guy to like me
Literally exist. That's it.
>>16843932
You be around guys, be a nice person and they show you they like you.
>>16843942
>be around guys
I am
>be a nice person
I am, I never insult people I do nice things for people
I've never had a guy like me in that way, only as a friend
>>16843966
Whoa guys let me translate for you:
>I've never had a guy whom I thought was attractive enough for me like me. They've always friend zoned me. Why are all the good guys taken? No boys like me...
Fuck off you dumb cunt.
>>16843966
Instead of doing the bait technique why don't you just genuinely get to know a guy, see if you like anything about him, then build the relationship to get to know him more.
You are seeing relationships as a status instead of a process.
Literally talk to a guy, ask him about his life, listen, talk about yourself in line with his response. See if he's actually worth talking to.
>>16843971
I have no standards only except that they don't look diseased and they're not an asshole.
I have had crushes on guys that my friends think are very ugly and make fun of me for it.
>>16843982
That's how you make friends with a guy. I have plenty of guy friends
Out of the male friends who I've liked romantically, all of them didn't feel the same way.
If I could just get a boyfriend by getting to know a guy I would have had relationship many years ago.
>>16843984
Translating is busy work!
>I only go for guys that aren't diseased or assholes. Oh they also have to have a nice body, a good face, have a good job, and have many interesting hobbies. My friends made fun of me for going after a guy who made less than $100k/year. He was so cute though...
Wading through your bullshit is tiring work.
>>16844005
>Being this mad over the truth
>>16843991
Fair enough.
The basis of all great romantic relationships starts from a good friendship.
Anyway, you've tried baiting them in... Doesn't work. So you try to actively search for one.. Couldn't find one.
Do you even. Know what you are looking for?
Anyways, you seem hungry for romance. Don't be.
>>16844026
I want a guy who likes me back in a romantic way that I can have an intimate relationship with.
It's normal to want to be loved and experience a romantic relationship where you and the person are special to each other. I wouldn't know how to switch that off.
>>16843277
I think you're neglecting the fact of teenage poon
>>16843769
> my own personal misfortune
Oh fuck, a professional victim. Yeah, that's going to be attractive.
Life is what life is. Hell, I wanted a billion dollars by my age. Didn't happen. Stop whining about how life isn't fair and go pay yo bills, nigga.
>>16844040
That's all it takes for a guy to get with you, just to be interested in you romantically?
What makes this person special is just the fact that he wants to romantically be involved in you?
And no one's taken the bait yet?
Sheesh. You must have something else you're not telling us.
>>16843984
OK then. Start being assertive. Nobody expects quality openers from a girl. You can say 'I really like you' to a stranger and he'd respond however he felt. If you're already friends that's better ofc.
>>16844052
Like what?
>>16843230
you are only 24 life hasnt really begun to fuck with you yet...
ITT: thirsty betas try and help this bitch because they secretly hope to be the one that she falls for
>>16844061
Maybe you're ugly?
Maybe you're boring?
Maybe you're un interesting or don't look approachable?
Maybe you have a weird fetish?
Maybe you are looking for someone who is more interesting?
Maybe you're not satisfied with your current pick of male friends and you blame it on the rest of male population?
Stuff like that
>>16844091
I'm definitely not very pretty but apart from surgery I've done everything I could to make the most of what I have
People say I'm very interesting and know a lot
I'm not sure what would make me look unapproachable
I don't think I have a weird fetish that I know of
I'm looking for anyone
I would date any of my male friends but they don't want me as anything more than a friend
>>16843230
Passionate isn't a word I would use for teenage relationships, it's full of drama, broken friendships and fights over silly little things that don't really matter. You do know that most boys in their teens and early twenties are still children, a lot of them expect everything in life to be offered to them on a silver platter and have no sense of responsibility whatsoever. Some of them take to late twenties or even early thirties to truly grow up.
Relationships get a lot more passionate and romantic at mid twenties when some of the boys stop playing around and eventually (hopefully) turn in to men. So you still have at least a good 10 years of lovey dovey a head of you.
>I'm looking for anyone
PoF, OkCupid, Tinder
you will find someone eventually and you can throw all your pent up love at him
>>16844129
for
>>16844102
Post you pic
>>16844135
Last time I posted a pic here they told me I was average, 5/10
>>16844208
post it anyway
we'll see if you're dateable or approachable just from looks
>>16844216
ok, here's a screenshot from a video:
http://imgur.com/JYy2Ciy
>>16844284
Tells us nothing.
Don't post your picture here, just make a Tinder account and play around with it for a few days.
>>16844291
Why does that tell you nothing?
Also I have tinder already, what's your point.
>>16844284
Post a picture of you smiling, even if forced. This is the biggest factor.
Smiling wins you lots of favours in life.
Also >>16844291
Post a smiling pic
>>16844300
So you're going to critique my smile? I smile plenty enough, anon. Doesn't change my face much and even if it did I still haven't had a relationship
>>16844296
It's a dark shot of your face. You're going to need to post a picture of your face and body in good light. Find a group pic you're in and blur out your friends.
>>16844309
Im saying you can tell how cute a girl is from how she smiles.
Post a smiling pic.
You look dateable btw.
>>16844312
I don't let people take pictures of me
>>16844284
Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. You're a perfectly normal looking person. You have no excuse. I fucking hate people like you who waste their youth and good looks. Fucking fuck I want to punch you in your stupid face I hate you so much.
>>16844313
Well I don't have any smiling pictures, and I'm not in a place that's private enough to start taking pictures.
I hate looking at myself anyway
>>16844323
Then why haven't I had a boyfriend?
I would use my youth and looks if I had the opportunity to.
>>16844339
Get out more and be social.
>>16844351
I'm incredibly social. I have quite a few friends.
No on ever likes me in that way.
>>16844339
Because you're full of shit and always make excuses. Fuck you. I fucking hate you. I wish I could have what you do. Fucking fuck I'm 10/10 mad right now. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt through this entire thread but now I know you're just a scared little girl who makes up excuses as to why she's never had a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with you physically. Fucking use it you gigantic douche.
>>16844284
Lesbian here, I would fuck the shit out of you, holy fuck
>>16843230
>What's even the point now?
Because there is still fulfillment to be had in a good relationship even if it doesn't meet the impossible expectations you had.
>How do I get out of this depression?
With realistic expectations for a relationship.
Or suicide.
>>16844655
How is a teenage relationship an 'impossible expectation'?
>>16844693
>How is a teenage relationship an 'impossible expectation'?
Because it's an idealized relationship as viewed by a teenager's definition of what an ideal relationship is.
That should be all you need to know. And if you don't understand, you will in about 5 more years.
>>16844700
Why five more years?
I've watched all my friends have relationships I know all about the bad side of relationships. I don't have an idealistic view.
>>16844735
Because you're still wanting a "teenaged relationship" instead of an "ADULT relationship"
>>16844735
I've had relationships and all my friends have, and yes you do.
OP I read the whole thread and thought about it for maybe half an hour. There's two possibilities:
1. If truly, honestly, no males have ever been remotely interested in you all your life then you're a bitch. A huge, complete bitch. Guys are willing to put up with a lot when it comes to bitching, every husband sleeps on the couch after his wife screams at him for no reason. So if you're actually a big enough bitch to keep anyone from being interested ever then you are a MASSIVE cunt. And before you tell me you aren't I want you to spend a day or two thinking about it. Very few people are assholes on purpose, and it's hard to tell because people who are close to you (family, long term friends) either don't see it because you act differently around them or won't tell you because they don't want to hurt your feelings.
So think long and hard about whether you might be a horrible person. Without meaning to and without knowing, maybe you're awful to be around.
2. Guys have shown interest in you and you shut them all down.
In which case everyone else has already said to lower your standards.
Because you're already 24. You could just wait "for the right guy" until you're 40, and guess what? All the 40 year old singles will either be obese bald businessmen or construction workers with a police record a mile long and bodies that are falling apart after decades of manual labor. College guys are at their peak, hitting the gym and in their sexual prime - this is the best looking dating pool you'll ever have in your life. If no one's good enough for you now then no one will be good enough for you when you're older.
The best sex is mostly about love and trust and looks aren't that important.
>>16844749
Yes because it's an experience I'll never get to have now.
An adult relationship is a difference experience, it doesn't make up for losing out on the other experience.
>>16844786
I never say anything nasty to people, I'm not passive aggressive, I have a compulsion to do favours to people and give my lunch away
So I don't think I'm a horrible person
As for lowering my standards I don't have high standards I just want someone to like me in a romantic way
I've never shut anyone down
I'm so lonely.
>>16844786
spoken by a true college guy. thank you
Cheer up. The one girl I waited on my whole life coldly rejected and abused the shit out of me. It's not like I didn't have many girls like me or anything. You're 24. You're still young.
>>16844801
The only other possible answers are that you're severely autistic and don't understand that "I really like you do you want to go on a date sometime" is being asked out (IE you don't think anyone's been interested but they have)
Or that you're Muslim and people are scared of your parents.
I think you would've said either of those so I'm going to stick with what I said in the previous post.
Have you ever thought "I just don't like him in THAT WAY"? You subconsciously conveyed your rejection with body language and tone etc.
>>16844839
I've never been asked out on a date or had any guy tell me that they really like me
Not muslim
Hmm, I can't really recall thinking anything like that
How do you reject someone with body language?
>>16843256
It's really not all that special. Teenagers are particularly stupid, it's not like those movies.
Stupid fights because people expect their partners to be mind readers. Refusal to communicate. Conflating lust with love. Blah blah.
>>16843265
>Teenage relationships are so innocent...
lolwut
Teenagers are assholes, and that doesnt magically stop when they start dating.
Like seriously OP you're pretending you know more about what a teenage relationship is like than people who've actually gone through one.
Wow OP, you're fucking pretty...
>>16844899
Pretty average
Her hair looks like shit
>>16844902
I'm also pretty certain, Jewish
>>16844902
So if I had better hair I would stop being average?
Also not Jewish.
>>16844869
By your reaction towards touching (hand on shoulder, pat on the back, the look on your face when he goes in for a hug)
By your reactions when he tries to open up and be more vulnerable and not just making small talk, if he's trying to get personal and you come off as cold or disinterested that's a major sign.
You look alright but that's one picture. You say you're nice but few adults are mean on purpose. Acne covered whales, raging bitches and girls in wheelchairs can all get boyfriends. Unless there's a major thing you're not telling us the problem is your personality.
>>16844916
Yeah, actually attempt personal grooming and stop looking like you hate life
How many guys have you asked out in your entire life?
maybe your pussy stank
>>16844918
I don't see how different hair will make my face above average.
>>16844927
I haven't been keeping count
>>16844869
I'll take you on a date. You can order anything from Quiznos because I treat my girls right.
>>16843325
now you know how the average man feels like after being rejected his whole life and the only time they will pay attention to him is because they want his money after he made something out of himself.
>>16846049
>now you know
I've never known anything else.
>>16843230
iktf
>>16843230
Got my first when I was your age, kinda regret those bf-less years before, although I've never really met anyone as right for me as that first one. I felt the same, then it simply happened.
>>16844869
Goddamn
Youre already asked out a million times already in this thread
This is exactly what it is in your real life
You ignore every guy around you then whine on the internet
>>16843265
20's guy here. Got out of a relationship with a 20's woman. Started dating a teenage girl.
Made me remember the times of teenager-ness with girl 1 I somehow blocked. I don't know how I didn't see it then, but young love is so filled with drama and nerves and anxiety that holy shit.
Short version is this, OP. You're a woman? Why would you want a "man's" relationship? i.e. with a woman. You wouldn't, right? Because it doesn't fit you.
Well, now you're in your twenties, and likewise a teenage relationship won't fit you.
>>16843270
As to what you missed out on, I don't consider relationships with older men to be trying to substitute a fatherly relationship, I don't see relationships with young people to stimulate younger sibling dynamics, friends to be childhood friends, etc.
Accept things for what they are, instead of what you want them to be. You _can't_ be young again. So appreciate what you have now.
>>16844284
>http://imgur.com/JYy2Ciy
You are attractive, although you don't do anything for me personally.
Eh. You don't have to worry about the appearance part too much at the very least.
