so i need a little help...
heres some background
>start messaging cute af curvy redhead on OKCupid
>seems receptive likes to smoke weed and play vidya so i use that as my crowbar
>make her lol and haha consistently
>ask for her phone # but gets shot down
> brush it off keep trying and finally after she says no once again i leave her MY number and tell her its her move
>two days later she hits me up and we start texting furiously (3 weeks to get #)
>she is super cool and has a nice heart and is my kind of weird
>she's into hard rock, metal and serial killers (really into serial killers)
>i ask her if i am wasting my time on her and if we could get to know each other or move on
>she thinks im cool and digs that im not weirded out by her interests and says im reallly handsome so thats a green light in my book
>we talk about ourselves and find out that she has a REALLY troubled past and has a bad case of death anxiety
>she is afraid of pretty much everybody and has trouble even going to 7/11 across the street without getting panic attacks
>either way she is very sweet and very very beautiful all around
>she is digging me too and we set a date for valentine's and she gladly accepts
>turns out she's never been on a date before
>almost a week passes by and she cancels on me the day before
>i was bummed and so was she but apparently she had to work all day i swallow my urge to ask her if shes just afraid, whatever
>i tell her i was going to a cafe on wed. she says she was going to be busy and doesnt reschedule and seems uninterested so i thought she was just a time-waster so i delete her from everything and forget about her for a few days
>two days later she hits me up and sounds really bummed and says she understands if im not interested in waiting around for her
>tell her im definately interested
so question is
how can i convince her to trust me if she wont see me in person or talk on the phone? what do /adv/?
>>16832047
>smokes weed
>her "hard to get" is under a month of effort
>into serial killers
>has a trouble past/daddy issues
Anon I get that she's hot or whatever but I'm warning you right now if you get involved with her you're going to experience a shitstorm.
>>16832069
This, she's obviously a mental case. Stop wasting your time
>>16832069
>>16832086
oh i guess i should say that im not normal either haha im weird as fuck and i do love weed too
>>16832047
Don't do it OP. There are red flags planted everywhere.
>>16832106
i really want to do it. for me, its really not about her looks its the person that she is.
the only thing i worry about is how i can get her to trust me
>>16832101
It doesn't really matter if you're fucked up. If you continue with her expect a ton of bullshit, drama, and pain. You were warned
>>16832069
>>16832086
Not OP but what if she's really really close to perfect besides the issues?
>>16832129
haha im no pussy
i have lived with all that all of my life
im pretty much impervious to that, seriously
>>16832131
Dude the issues really make it a deal breaker. I've dated fucked up girls before and it's really truly not worth it, that shit gets old reeeeeal fast
>>16832146
Fuck.
>>16832047
>curvy
>sees op's pic
OHSHITRUN
>>16832146
>>16832129
>>16832106
>>16832086
>>16832069
Seriously, i am aware of all this and accept the consequences of my decisions.
now...
HOW CAN I GET HER TO TRUST ME? THNX
>>16832139
Alright man...if you're really set on this I'll help you the best I can. Why not set a date at her house, where she feels most comfortable, and offer to smoke weed?
>>16832047
>Curvy
Translated: fat
Just say it, OP, you wanna pork and insecure crazy fatty.
>>16832160
thats obv not her
she just loves to cook and bake which is funny bc i cook for a living and she was loving that
foodie, curvy, gamer, good heart...
pls halp
>>16832173
thats like 30% of my mentality and she's not really fat
>>16832178
Oh she's not fat. Right, she's "curvy". You know that's the term fat girls give themselves to make themselves feel better about being fat, right?
>>16832180
so you wouldn't want fuck a fat chick?
what are you, gay?
we send each other pics, so i know she's not fat, not that i care too much. im not extremely superficial or anything
>>16832047
She's playing you hella hard. Wow, she basically has you in her grasp. I would tell her to stop contacting you and move forward, find somebody that has a clear view of how her life should be. Not somebody that wastes time and plays these typical mind games, she's crazy and fucked up in the head. Don't force something that failed the first time, especially since it has ''crazy'' written all over it OP. Be warned.
>>16832189
Ah of course. I'm clearly gay because I don't want to fuck a fat chick. Yes, you two are both perfect for each other. You being mentally retarded and in denial about fat chicks. Her being fat and absolutely batshit insane. I pray for all of us that you two do not produce offspring.
>>16832198
FINALLY!!!!
SOMEONE THAT UNDERSTANDS!!!11!
now how can i get her to trust me and convince her im not a serial killer
>>16832139
Trust me anon, you say this now because you want the pussy
Once you guys are involved, the novelty WILL wear off. You will get fed up with doing all the work and her being so flakey and fucking things up
You know the way you look at couples now and think "Man I wish I had a girl like that"
You will still do that. Except you'll just wish your girl was normal.
And then when you break up with her, there will be a shit storm
Don't stick your dick in crazy
>>16832229
>>16832257
Seriously guys, i don't want normal.
i can have any type of woman, i am not a beta neckbeard. im no johnny depp or nothing but its just that i cant stand normal, seriously
i find people uninteresting and i tend to be solitary, but i can talk to women and people in general, but i find it so bland. people like me, but i dont like people
why dont you guys understand my question
I KNOW SHE IS CRAZY, I AM CRAZY TOO.
I WANT MY DICK IN CRAZY, BUT NOT JUST THAT. I AM AWARE OF THE RED FLAGS, BUT I DON'T GIVE FLYING FUCK. I CAN HANDLE BULLSHIT THAT WOULD BREAK A NORMAL MAN.
I AM NOT A NORMAL MAN.
now can someone help me with my question?
She's playing games strange games. The only winning move...
So I'm cheating on my long-distance with a side hoe. Not feeling much in terms of regret. Noone knows, managed to keep it a complete secret. I still love my gf. Are my morals fucked up? Should I stop?
>>16832334
You need to show her she can't dick you around all day, and that you have options, that you don't hang on every word from this chick's mouth.
>>16832069
Mentally ill people are not bad people, anon, don't make me feel sad.
>>16832443
except they are. They are chronic cheaters, liars, and self-victimizers. If their mental illness was limited to only themselves it wouldn't be an issue
>>16832069
>>16832086
>>16832106
>>16832129
>>16832146
>>16832229
2 things.
First. To answer your question on "how to convince her", you're going to need to use what you have in hand, which is text apparently. What you have to do is gradually convince her to interact with you through phone/webcam/whateverelse, after that try to introduce situations that require you to be a "trusty" person, so that she can actually see you are of trust.
Second. These guys are wise, really wise. Even tho they're right, there's something else you can do if you want the girl and reduce the future trouble. It's going to sound cliche but believe me, i know what im talking about: convince her to go to the fucking psychologist.
Why tho? Because there is no other "simple" way to make a person go mentally healthy, there is no *2 step-homemade-therapy-forthementallyill*. That's your option, and make sure it is not a psychoanalist or someshit like that, you want to go through a behaviorist or cognitive behavioral therapist or , nothing else works.
Remember OP, Weird is one thing, but Crazy is another thing. Weird implies just being different, and you can have a relationship with someone "weird", but crazy is more related (in this conversation) to disfunctional, and thats what you dont want to deal with, a disfunctional person is that dude that generates issues out of nowhere (example: someone that wants to talk about a certain issue ends up generating a fight between the two). You want weird, not crazy, believe me and these guys.
>>16832531
Thank you
Faith in /adv/ restored
Anything else, guys?
>>16832571
MFW i realized my long text helped.
Are you sure she's not a catfish?
>>16832586
yeah im sure
>>16832171
she won't talk to me on the phone, you think she will give me her address?
>>16833381
No.
>>16833439
>>16833381
I'm being honest. If she won't talk to you over the phone, she's not going to give you the opportunity to drive over to where she lives and 'surprise' her.
>>16833513
i know that, thanks though. any input is appreciated
bamp
My ex had extremley serious social anxiety. Stay away. It's not worth it.
Goddamn OP, you really are stupid. EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this thread is telling you not to do it but being the dumbass your are, you still want to stick your dick in this bitch....
You're going to have to set terms with this woman. Since she's been denying your advances you're going to have to leave the ball in her court. Tell her if she wants this to go anywhere she's going to have to make a move. If not she's just going to keep jerking you around. This could work or she may never take that step, if not please move on OP. Don't get oneitis over some chick you've never even met let alone spoken to.
Tell her you're a serial killer
>>16833607
please enlighten me as to your experience with your ex
>>16833654
i am well aware of this at this point, yet i decide to move forwards. What if >>16832131 ?
>>16833698
i might if i know for sure she's a lost cause lol
>>16833719
It's like you decided to just ignore the second half of my post. I told you what to do.
>>16833731
well its hard to warm up to someone who is cold to you, don't you think? so how can i leave the ball in her court while still building rapport with her?
>>16832047
tell her that you want to do something indoors, like watch a movie. If she has anxiety in public, then tell her that you'd like to stay away from that shit and just chill. Bring some weed and some scary movie that has a serial killer in it. Order a pizza. Just act normal.
>>16833752
she's afraid of me too
if you post the pics she sent you I might be willing to help
you can crop out her face if you want
>>16832189
pics plz
>>16833521
you should ask where she works and ask when she works. Make sure to go on a day she doesnt say though because it sounds like she'd lie about it.
>>16833858
i know where she works, i just think its creepy to show up there. i dont think its gonna help my case
>>16833819
>>16833845
bump
>>16833993
Dude you've been involved in conversation with this girl for over a month now. How is it creepy to just show up there? If it's a place where you can buy things just say oh I needed to get x and figured I stop by. I Find it funny that she won't have a voice conversation with you or give out her address but would give you something that like where she works which could be equally as private
>>16834202
she's a bouncer at a restaurant/club. i cant just show up at 1am and strike up a convo with her at her job, you know?
>>16834284
What you could do instead is offer to meet up somewhere where she's more comfortable - like at a cafe that she visits or an animal shelter where she volunteers, or someplace thats within her comfort zone, whatever. It's probably her nerves getting the best of her - as any NEET can attest to, it's easy to be conversational and chatty online, quite another to actually meet sometime in person.
