How do i become more attracted to my girlfriend and stop drooling over hotter girls?
I'm in a 2 year relationship, shes pretty much perfect for me, was a virgin when we met, loves me, low maintenance, does anything i want whenever i want, anal, bjs, makes me food etc.
The problem is shes not remarkably attractive. Shes not chubby or ugly or anything, just plain. She has small boobs, decent butt but nothing special, doesn't have a gorgeous face with big eyes etc.
I often wish she looked something like pic related and get frustrated with her even though she cant do anything about it, and she gets sad and asks what she did wrong and i don't know what to say.
>>16831771
do you watch porn?
>>16831780
I used to when i was single but not anymore.
>>16831771
Why were you attracted to her in the first place?
Be thankful anon, you don't know what you have till it's gone
>>16831793
Shes cute, has a nice butt, and we clicked really well personality wise.
I fell in love with her over time cause she treats me like a king.
But over time i started to find her less and less attractive.
>>16831793
>>16831785
>>16831771
I see. there isnt much advice we can give really, other than actively stopping yourself from looking at these other women. i say why btoher tho? men are meant to look at women and vice versa. you seem to appreciate what you have and as long as you dont actually go out and cheat, ur still a good guy.
>>16831811
Stick with her, a woman with great sex and treats you like that is better than any hot girl who's a bitch
>>16831832
>OP thinks he's a 8/10 that deserves any woman.
>>16831811
Congratulations, you're hitting "long term relationship" status! It's the point where a person becomes so ingrained in your life that you naturally begin to take things for granted. Yup, shines degrade, sparks become norms, you're both physically and socially familiar with this person.
Ultimately there is no middle ground here, so you must decide. Do you want to stay with this person, or start again from zero? You'll lose all the personality and social ties you have made, but will have a chance at someone more attractive. Be warned however, attractiveness always fades over time, with everyone.
This is a black and white choice. If you only go halfway, you'll strain your relationship and only hurt her more and more.
>>16831826
>>16831832
I realize this and would never leave her, i just feel bad when i walk with her and she catches me looking at a hotter girl, she almost cried one time.
>>16831850
ouch, yeah thats rough. but i mean you only have to reign it in wihen you are with her, yeah? elsewise you're pretty good?
>>16831850
After about the 5 year mark of my relationship my girl was comfortable enough with going to the strip club together.
>>16831865
Yeah, but she already knows this is a problem. If you hide it from her she'll notice and get paranoid / hurt. You need to address this head on.
>>16831865
Im really confused about my feelings, i love her, but sometimes i see a hot girl with big tits and cant help but wish my girlfriend looked like her.
>>16831880
How's your sex life been recently? Also, what's been on your mind in the past month or so?
>>16831880
thats normal. you can have the hottest girl in the world and still think this five minutes later when you see a different girl.
think about say, ice cream. sure. mint chocolate chip is your favorite. but when you're eating mint chocolate chip, you ntoice someone else has rocky road, and you're like 'damn thats tasty, i wish i had that' but you already comitted to the mint. hell, sometimes even vanilla seems interesting after so much mint (as long as its soft serve).
and if you dont think that five minutes in, you'll think it 5 years in when you just grow 'used' to each other (plus casual wear and tear).
i know it sucks but as long as you do love your gf and want to be with her, keep on trucking. just pelase dont leave her FOR someone else. thats the worse. its okay to move on cuz you realize she isnt what you want, but if you wait until someone specific comes along, ur gonna break her
>>16831771
It's amazing how superficial some guys are. If you're so concerned with looks your relationship is doomed anyways so you should let your girl go find a real man who will love her completely
>>16831902
Sex is great, leagues better than either of my exes who wouldnt even take it in the ass, she does anything i want so i really cant complain.
Not sure what you about whats on my mind, nothing special really.
>>16831920
do you think you would be able to logic yourself out of staring at other women? Like, weigh the benefits of looking vs. the damage and pain it will cause. It sounds like you really do not want to lose this relationship.
>>16831771
Just start earning the money to pay to fixed her up nice.
Threads like this make me want to be alone forever. Are all guys like this?
>>16831965
Nope
>>16831938
I'm trying, and i absolutely would never cheat on her.
>>16831965
Not really.
Are you good looking enough to pull the girl in your pic, op? If not, be happy with what you have. It's more than what many others have.
>>16831965
I know its really shallow but i cant change how i feel, i wish i could (which is the point of this thread).
Also i should clarify that i dont want another girl, i just wish MY girlfriend was hotter.
>>16832008
Probably not, but sometimes i see guys who look worse than me with girls hotter than mine.
>>16831965
same, why bother trying when you'll just get tossed aside for not looking enough like a porn star
>>16831771
>getting mad that your girl isn't a 10/10.
Nigga if we're talking about the girl in that pic she probably wouldn't give you the time of day. You're as bad as a fat chick complaining that guys that hit on them aren't 8/10+ don't hit on them.
I can't imagine a relationship working out if there's no physical attraction involved, personally. Not that looks are everything, by any means, but being sexually attracted to your SO is a pretty important part of things. This might just be a phase since you guys have been together so long. I'd say just try distancing yourself from porn for a while and focus on enjoying your time with her; get to really appreciate who she is again.
>>16832022
Then do you have enough money or social status? If not, same as I said above.
>>16832056
Again probably not, but neither do the guys who have hotter girlfriends.
Don't make a girl that treats you so well feel like shit for anything, especially something she didn't do. Do her a favor and dump her OP.
>>16832089
I really hope you don't hurt this chick, she sounds like she's does everything right and then some.
>>16832089
I feel bad for your girlfriend, you're that kid in a grocery store "But Johnny got TWO candy bars!"
It doesn't matter what girls other guys have. If you honestly think that way you will never be happy as
1. You sound incredibly vain
2. You'll always look at other guys girls and never be happy with your current partner
>>16831849
married for 4 years, can attest to this. also the more you worry about whether you're sufficiently attracted to her, the more dissatisfied you will feel.
Op most likely will end up cheating. Just finish your relation, you are making her miserable and if you continue it will be worse (for her)
>>16832107
>she sounds like she's does everything right and then some.
Thats absolutely right, which is why i fell in love with her even though shes not very hot.
I was blown away at the start of our relationship by how well she treated me and how much she wanted to please me. When i took her virginity she didnt know anything and i jokingly showed her this pic and she memorized it instantly.
She brings me soup when im sick, she makes me sandwiches for work, when i asked for anal she took it without complaining unlike the other 2 girls who acted like im pulling their teeth.
Just typing all this reminds me how much i love her and dont wanna lose her.
>>16832089
Oh, you personally know every person with a hot girlfriend? You know their personal finances and accomplishments?
I don't know them, but from your posts here I can tell they probably have better strength of character than you.
Have you tried treating her to get a makeover or something? Maybe she doesn't know much about getting fixed up and feeling sexy. Confidence plays a huge part . It's possible you can see her in a different light if she felt good about herself.
>>16832215
This sounds like a good idea but i dont know exactly how i would ho about doing this?
>>16832179
Sounds to me like you have one of those one in a million girls OP, it would be the biggest mistake of your life to lose someone like that for a off chance of fucking a hot girl. You only have one life and I think you ought to spend it with a good person right?
>>16832179
Marry her.
>>16832231
My thoughts exactly, i would really like to get over this confusion in my head.
>>16832235
Shes too young now, but eventually i could see myself marrying her.
>>16832243
There is no magic cure op, the thing that will resolve your problem is self control. That's it. No tips or advice, just pure self control.
>>16832255
Pretty much this.
>>16831965
No, but OP isn't even that bad. He is acknowledging that he feels attracted to other girls. I feel that way too in my relationship, and I even have moments where I question whether or not I'm doing the right thing, but those moments are really mostly like a reflex. It's emotions and thoughts I can't quite avoid having, but I've already resolved that I'm not taking that route unless something drastically changes because what I have is working, and it has been built up over a long time. I think OP feels the same.
Just in case it is this way, my advice to you would be that if you ever do get a guy that shows signs he may be attracted to other people, but he still is loyal to you in every other way, then don't take it to badly. It's the way people in general are. As long as he is self-aware about it and knows he won't act on it then it is harmless and normal.
>>16832055
To some extent, sexual attraction eventually has to take a back seat to the understanding that you have made a sort of life choice with this person to be partners, and that you both owe it to each other to make it as comfortable and enjoyable as possible for the other person. That is, without sacrificing to much of yourself if the other person isn't in it. If you are making all the sacrifices and they are suddenly wavering, and the gap between your effort and theirs is too large to justify itself, you need to figure out what is happening and whether it is just a rough patch or whether it is the other person making a choice to not be involved anymore.
But, if everything is going smoothly, then looks are going to fade for the both of you, and you're going to have to be ok with that.
Op is the reason why she'll turn into your basic bitch. It's guys like him who ruin good girls.
No one said dating ugly would be easier.
I have almost exactly the same problem, OP.
The difference is, I was the virgin at the time and she's my first.
"the grass is greener on the other side" is always banging in my head somehow, even with a great GF as mine.
What do you guys think of this situation?
>>16832409
Depends on how good she is and how long it has been. I'd think all of the above advice is a good starting point for figuring out how people would feel. It seems the general consensus is, if somebody is treating you well and you are at least basically attracted to them, then you should probably stay with them.
Get the hottest one.
>>16832418
2 years.
The thing is, I've never been in love with anyone else, at least not outside of high school crushes. I never "chased" a girl, I never conquered one, I never had casual sex, I never flirted properly...
This one was just really forward about liking me and it just got to this point. She still feels the passion, but, even though I love her very much, I don't feel the passion anymore. It's like I'm married.
98% of girls in the world doesnt look like the one you like. porn have fuck up your brain, and when you end up your relationship, you will discover that you cant have a girl like that one, and if you do she will me an unfaithfull asshole. dont be a dick.
you don't know what you have until you lose it.
i broke up with my girlfriend for the same reason and now (a year later) she is with someone better than me and im lonely as fuck.
>>16832221
Tell her that she always treats you like a king and you want to make her a queen for a day. Get her nails done, a massage, take her shopping for some new clothes, etc.
>>16831771
The problem with dating women that look like pic related is because they are "hot" they know that they are the top of the desirability to men. As such they have no interest in pandering to your desires. So you can expect to wait on THEM hand and foot. Also because they are smoking hot they get hit on all the time which means its only a matter of time before they leave you for the bigger better deal. Finding a sweet girl who genuinely cares for you trumps any hotness in my book.
try spicing up the relationship. Do things you don't normally don't (doesn't have to be sexual). It seems that you are just used to her being in your life and if this keeps up you might get bored with her. Just keep doing new things and experiencing the world with her.
>>16832342
Yeah, again, I wasn't trying to say that sexual attraction is everything in a relationship by any means. But, generally speaking, I feel like relationships don't normally work out if the partners aren't attracted to one another. If your lack of attraction if strong enough to the point where it's causing hold ups in the relationship then there's a problem.
>>16831771
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, Anon.
Especially if your dick is in that bird's hand.
You're gonna want to stick your dick in lots of birds, sure. She probably looks at other guys too. You don't need to feel guilty about finding other women attractive. You haven't fucked up yet if you leave it at that.
You can try to break this habit by working to change your thought patterns. Instead of immediately wishing your girlfriend looked like these women, consciously remind yourself of what you like best about your girl.
Fuck her more.
Change up the lifestyle.
Choose different restaurants.
Work out more.
Buy her lingerie.
And did I mention?...fuck her more.
Worked for me.
Look, whenever you have a hard-on for another girl, just masturbate, and you'll get over it. Works for me and I'm married.
Something like this happened to me.
All you have to do is to stop feeling guilty about looking at other women and desiring them, there's nothing wrong with that. It's only wrong if you cheat or something (based on you and your partner morals). Also avoid spending 24/7 with her. Try to think of new exciting things to do stuff that spark the relationship, like go to a restaurant half naked, or have sex at walmart, idunno.
>>16831850
>just feel bad when i walk with her and she catches me looking at a hotter girl, she almost cried one time.
Are you anglosaxons?
Has your race ever mastered the fine art of looking without being caught?
>>16831965
>implying 99% of women aren't a thousand times worse than OP
hypergamy is real. At least OP has only slowly and inadvertently gotten through the honeymoon stage of the relationship and wants to fuck around. He'd probably end up preferring to stay with his GF anyways.
Women plan to jump ship at the outset, keep 'orbiter' backups at all times, are constantly on the lookout for a better deal all while frame the relationship to redistribute as much of the man's wealth, time, and effort towards herself and will ruthlessly steal everything she has of value and move on to the next victim while spreading nasty false rumors to salt the earth for her ex, smash his stuff, make false accusations to the cops, try and get him fired or kicked out of college.
And then they try and pretend like men are evil because other women remain attractive during the relationship. Please.
>>16832010
Yes you fucking can help how you feel you fucking useless millenial, so take control of your life for one instead of whining like a useless bitch. Holy fuck i hope your gf cucks the shit out of you.
by dumping her and getting a gf youre actually attracted to
>>16831850
You need to learn to control your impulses, anon. Make her feel like she's the only girl in your world.
I had this problem in my last relationship, although the circumstances were a bit more complex, and I wasn't expressing affection in the way she wanted, not ogling other women.
>>16832954
The projection is strong in this post.
Read Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A Heinlein, and then have her read it. After that, the two of you should form polyamorous relations. You two will be much happier that way. Besides, monogamy is so last century.
>>16832825
Thats actually a very good advice.
*takes it as if i was the OP*
>>16831850
>>16833148
To quote the book:
>"This poor ersatz Martian is saying that sex is a way to be happy. Sex should be a means of happiness. Ben, the worst thing about sex is that we use it to hurt each other. It ought never to hurt; it should bring happiness, or at least pleasure.
>"The code says, 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.' The result? Reluctant chastity, bitterness, blows and sometimes murder, broken homes and twisted children — and furtive little passes degrading to woman and man. Is this Commandment ever obeyed? If a man swore on his own Bible that he refrained from coveting his neighbor's wife because the code forbade it, I would suspect either self-deception or subnormal sexuality. Any man virile enough to sire a child has coveted many women, whether he acts or not.
>"Now comes Mike and says: 'There is no need to covet my wife... love her! There's no limit to her love, we have everything to gain — and nothing to lose but fear and guilt and hatred and jealousy.' The proposition is incredible. So far as I recall only pre-civilization Eskimos were this naive — and they were so isolated that they were almost 'Men from Mars' themselves. But we gave them our 'virtues' and now they have chastity and adultery just like the rest of us."
>>16833025
See the above quote.
I'm going to take the contrarian point here, but I lost attraction to my girlfriend, and was attracted to other girls, despite her being really nice and worshipping me. Frankly? I was bored with someone worshipping me.
I couldn't be happier after dumping her. I do kind of feel bad for breaking it off with her so spontaneously and hurting her, but it was better to do it early than try to fix something that had no fix.
So, just my viewpoint. Your results may vary.
>>16832859
This guy
Would you be completely ok with fake breasts OP?
>>16832030
Just be the most porn star-looking girl in the neighborhood then you have nothing to fear right?
>>16831910
Basically this OP. I was scrolling through and this post sums it up nicely.
No matter how hot your girlfriend is, you will always get tired of her sexually. Yeah, yeah you can "respark it;" it's never the same. Look at the married couples around you - do you hear about their killer sex lives? I don't. I hear the opposite. I hear my best friend telling me to never get married and how he wished "his girl would do that for him."
I've been in 1-2 year relationships with women who were the hottest women I've ever dated. The attraction always fades. No matter how hot the girl is, someone, somewhere is always tired of hitting it.
I won't tell you to stay with your girl. It's obvious you've got the itch to get hotter women. The itch won't go away and it never does in a long-term relationship. I feel a good relationship is one where you get the itch but what you've got is worth more than the hot, sweaty, awesome, unhealthy sex with a hot as fuck girl that you're missing out on.
You will always be missing out on that sex. The girl is missing out too when she's fucking you lol. So maybe you should go fuck a few hotties, get it out of the your system, and when you're tired of all of the work and bullshit you have to put up with to keep those hotties, you can settle down with a girl that is just like your current girl.
>>16831965
I wonder if he is even aware of how incredibly shallow his idea of her is. He only loves her because she is basically his slave. This is so depressing.
Okay, look. I know you said you feel terrible for comparing your girlfriend to other women, but you need to come to terms with one thing. You aren't in love with her. I'll say it again. You don't love her. You love what she does for you. You list off a bunch of reasons why you love her, and all you can talk about are the things she gives you. What qualities does she have (BESIDES taking anal like a champ) that made you fall for her? If you can't answer that, you need to take another look at your feelings.
>>16833667
It's frustrating that people like OP are taking up space, air and resources that could be better utilized by more decent, self aware people.
You are just prefer you, sweetie. Trust in love.
>>16831771
I saw your thread on r9k earlier and posted my two cents there.
But I'll say it again anyways: don't be stupid. Don't throw away a good thing because you think you can do better. This is a test for you right now and I strongly urge you to not break up with her.
Look aren't everything; it's what's under the hood that counts. If you ever have to settle on something, settle on looks. Never settle on personality or compatibility. The pretty packaging is alluring but it's not worth a 2 year relationship with a great gal.
Don't join the rat race of chasing after only the best looking females. Focus on what you have before it's gone. Many men, myself included, would do just about anything to have what you have now.
>>16833758
>If you ever have to settle on something, settle on looks.
Right, they can be fixed with enough plastic surgery.
I'd feel guilty about making less than beautiful kids though.
>>16833769
>I'd feel guilty about making less than beautiful kids though.
This. In the end relationships are for reproduction so isn't the most important thing to choose the best partner in terms of genetics?
>>16831771
Hey OP, I can give you some advice:
I was in a 2 year relationship with a average looking girl. Great body and we had great sex, but I always yearned for something better.
We've split up now and now I'm putting myself out there to better looking girls. Will they usually say no? Sure, but if you get lucky enough to secure an 8/10 then you won't regret it.
Right now I have several girls I'm playing with, one of whom I think is really hot.
The single life gives you that freedom. Don't stay in a relationship if you feel like you deserve better (because that feeling will never go away).
>>16833148
Is that what you got out of Stranger in a Strange Land? Polyamory? You realize the point is that humans are easily led if you use religion and sex as tools.
This is why monogamy does not work. Men are biologically predisposed to getting bored of whoever they're with and wanting to fuck other girls. Every guy goes through this shit, and has to force himself to stay with a girl he's already been with a million times because they're too involved. The majority of marriages suck and end up in disarray because we're meant to spread our genes, not just settle for a good catch and be content.
>>16833904
Most successful marriages are successful due to the fact that the husband probably cheats all the time.
I do it, it's no big deal. Love my gf, but she has a lower sex drive than me. So to stop myself from dumping her just to get my dingus wet, I just hook up with other girls.
No harm no foul. If I didn't cheat, we wouldn't be dating, nor could I date somebody for more than a few years.
>>16833904
What a load of bullshit. You're taking your own experience of being a selfish, short-sighted, immature douche and generalizing that experience to all men. Plenty of people have extremely fulfilling relationships that last much longer than the first 2 or 3 years of flash. Claiming "biological predisposition" as an excuse to do whatever you want doesn't really work.
>>16833927
Sorry to break it to you dude...but unless you're Romeo and your GF is Juliet, your relationship isn't going to last very long unless one of the partners is cheating.
If you don't cheat, you'll put your gf on a pedestal and she'll get turned off and cheat on you.
If you cheat, you won't depend on your GF as much and your gf will sense it and won't cheat on you.
Source: Every girl I know. Most girls know their boyfriend's are probably cheating when they go to the bathroom to use their phone, but most girls just ignore it unless they treat them poorly.
>>16833935
>unless you're Romeo and your GF is Juliet, your relationship isn't going to last very long
I don't remember that relationship lasting long
>>16833927
Nearly every married guy I've talked to is miserable in his marriage and says they wouldn't get married if they had to do it over again. It might work for some relationships, but the majority fail. And even if they stay married, the husband is usually miserable, and the wife is comfortable living off of the husband.
>>16831771
stop being such a prick to your woman.
she treats you like a king and she's just not hot enough for you?
well guess what buddy, you're just being selfish.
girl in pic related would laugh at you if you tried to talk to her unless you were a billionaire.
love is enough reason to stay, not physical features.
I bet you're not that flash hot either bud but you're gf is still with you and probably doesn't check out other guys.
It doesn't hurt to have a look when you're alone but at least do your gf the courtesy of not checking out other girls right in front of her dude.
love your girl like she loves you.
if you don't love her anymore then leave her because you'll just hurt her more and more until she leaves you then you'll feel broken and empty.
>>16833935
>>16833925
You're an idiot. Both of you.
Source: Married for five years, been in the relationship for the better part of a decade. Never cheated, never will. She's never cheated. Never will. And to head you off, yes, I would know if she had; much as I love her, she's simply not savvy enough to cover her tracks.
Sexual fidelity is, in my opinion, by far the hardest part of marriage (at least until kids and the resultant lack of sleep enter the equation) but it's not impossible. It isn't. Staying faithful gets easier once you've been together long enough to realize that that boredom you're talking about isn't a linear process, it's a cycle. In a long-term relationship, you'll go through periods where you're not that attracted to your partner, where you maybe don't even like her all that much, but if you gut through it then eventually you'll get back to that place where just touching her sets sparks flying. At least for a while.
Or maybe you and your friends just aren't suited to monogamy. People like that certainly exist. But if that's the case then please stop making such broad statements about the inherent impossibility of marriage. It isn't "worldly" to generalize your shitty behavior to the entire human race; extreme cynicism is just another form of naivety.
>>16833989
How would you rate your attractiveness? If you're below a 7, you probably haven't cheated and have an easier time with monogamy because you know it would be difficult to find a side chick.
>>16834009
Are you joking? Seriously, how hard do you think it is to get laid? I even managed it now and then back in college and I was an idiot back then.
>>16833989
What's the problem with sleeping with other people occasionally? Provided you are careful about STDs of course.
I don't see why people care.
>>16833961
>girl in pic related would laugh at you if you tried to talk to her unless you were a billionaire.
I don't think there's enough billionaires in the world to go around for all the duckface sluts with breast implants
This is shallow as fuck
>>16831771
OP, if her looks are THAT big of a deal where you want every other girl, save your gf (and yourself) the pain and end it.
If your gf almost cried because she feels at fault for not being like the girl in your post, that's only gonna cause her eventual depression and self esteem issues.
Break it off, explain how you love all thongs she did for you but that you just can't deal with wanting looks of another girl. If you keep going as is, you'll more than likely cheat on her and THAT hurts way more.
Source: I am pretty much like your gf. Married 5 years, make husband's lunch, wash his uniform, willing to give any sex as well as dressingvup gladly, stay by his side when he is sick, played pranks and had silly and feisty fun, cook him favorite dinners..etc. However, he pointed out how other chicks looked and asked why I wasnt them too much and eventually it lead me into depression and self esteem problems. :| Don't hurt a girl who does nothing but love you.
>>16834135
your husband sounds like a dick
does he ever do anything for you?
>>16834135
>If your gf almost cried because she feels at fault for not being like the girl in your post
She should at least be making the effort to become better looking and making measurable progress. So should he
I see these couples that just settle for mediocrity and can't understand it
>>16834152
Last thing he did for just me and not as "Im doing it and getting you something to not look like an asshole", bout me a card, favorite tea and took me to dinner...in 2013.
Otherwise, it is what he wants and if not interested, then no go. He doesnt wash my clothes or make me a meal or any of that.
Fuck! When he was overseas I called through skype to order him food!
OP, is your first initial M and your girlfriend's first initial N?
>>16834153
Understood completely, but if she does all this and all he does is complain then wtf? Tell her to get her hair done! Give her money to get nails done or clothes. Maybe go WITH her to pick out stuff ya both like!
>>16834106
Then perhaps you've never been in a serious relationship. Or perhaps if you don't really feel sexual jealousy very strongly then you're one of those people I mentioned who aren't wired for monogamy. If not, then that's fine. Hell, you might have an easier time of it; like I said, I don't find monogamy easy all the time. Far from it. I just hope whatever arrangement you work out with your partner is honest and consensual.
>>16834163
...I get you are loyal. and that is good. but is there any particular reason you are still with him? I would take my lady out to dinner once a month at least, surprise her with breakfast in bed sometimes too, and i know you miss that
>>16831771
Time for an upgrade OP. If you think you can do better, then go for it.
>>16834178
Iv'e never had that to be honest.
As for why I stay? Considering he finds my looks unacceptable because I don't look like his ex (he tells me this)...I guess it's the bond we have when things are good. Share similar interests and and sex is decent. Plus, he makes me laugh which I love..
I also think it may be I feel nobody will want a divorced chick who loves games and baking but, wasn't good enough because she couldnt please her husband. Those look remarks and woman comparing killed my self esteem...
>>16834135
>>16834163
>>16834241
holy shit, you are in an abusive relationship, you realize this? This has very little to do with the sort of thing OP is talking about, and a lot to do with your husband intentionally treating you like shit so you lose the willpower to stand up for yourself and thus to escape the relationship. The existence of good times is part of the cycle, and not a reason to stay, you coward. This is extremely toxic and you need to think seriously about leaving the situation, for your sake.
>>16834254
The coward part hurt a bit...but I was in process of moving back to my hometown alone. Find a job and such...frankly I see myself not being able to take it anymore and constantly tell him knock depression over not being with his ex and married off because it was 8 years ago ffs. He then gets pissy and stops talking for an hour, which I ignore. I'm seeking counseling to try and help with depression too..
>>16834265
good, you are a coward and you need to be motivated to change your fucking circumstances
why don't you talk about this shit with your family?
>>16834274
I do and they all wanna beat his ass.
I'm moving home and finding myself. Leave in two days and will go from there.
Honestly never dealt with abuse before like this..
>>16831771
You could try Karezza, It has helped a lot of people to rekindle their love life through bonding behaviors and regular non orgasm driven sex. Oxytocin seems to play a huge role in keeping partners attracted to each other among other things like reducing cortisol levels and stress. You can increase your (and her) Oxytocin levels through bonding behaviors like hugging, kissing, caressing your partner and through sex. Unfortunately one less known thing about sex is that having an orgasm is a lot more tasking to the body than many realize, especially for men whose oxytocin levels drop severely after an orgasm. Frequent orgasms will desensitize you and make you look for more and more novel things (just like with porn) which will provide you with greater stimulus.
Karezza is basically conservative sex where partners have frequent non orgasm driven sex where orgasms happen maybe once or twice a month or even less. Funny thing about this is that with all the oxytocin you retain in your body doing this you'll be all over your partner and receive a lot greater stimulus from sex making even the smallest movements feel heavenly and the eventual orgasm way more intense. Haven't read it myself but a lot of people recommend the cupis poisoned arrow book, but there's a lot of info you can read from reuniting dot info.
>>16834401
correction: Cupid's poisoned arrow
Fuck men like you honestly. Go fuck yourself. So pathetic and weak. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Do you have any fucking clue how that feels to have your partner tell you you're not good enough? That you don't look good enough? Do you have any idea what that does to a person? You are so caught up in yourself you didn't even take a moment to think about her and what you are doing to her.
Try thinking about how much that hurts, how those thoughts plague you every morning you wake up, every time you see your partner, every time you see yourself, and every time you go to bed at night. Fucking stop and think about it. I challenge you to do it. For 30 minutes of your fucking useless day that you would spend jerking your tiny dick to cow tit porn, immerse yourself in that feeling, live in that fucking miserable feeling. That stomach dropping feeling that a you aren't good enough because of the way you look, and that the person who is supposed to love you, protect you and accept you, thinks you aren't good enough. Try it.
Also, save your girlfirend the fucking trouble, go be single and see how much "hot" pussy you get. Fucking pathetic. For once in your miserable, useless fucking existance think about what you say and what you do and how it can hurt others, others you claim to care about. Maybe it will someday make you a person worth sharing the planet with. Why are people so fucking useless and awful. Is this really what men are?
Stop watching porn and/or looking at 'hot' women as much. If you can cut out porn completely then even better.
>>16831771
>does anything i want whenever i want, anal, bjs, makes me food
- Glad to see you have your priorities straight.
>>16831961
This is the best answer ITT
>>16834494
But I haven't watched porn since I met her. The hotter girls I see I see in real life
>>16834523
Start watching porn then.
The meaningless of women that are JUST hot is understated.
I watch porn so much that I get turned off looking at scantily clad bimbos IRL
>>16834411
Men are visual creatures, deal with it. You sound like you got your share of assholes, but that's completely disproportionate. You're taking it out on OP. He didn't even tell her what he thinks. If this happened to me, I wouldnt tell her, Id just break it off.
>>16834009
Watch out, we have an expert right here
KEK
>>16834411
Stop being so insecure, whiny woman
>>16832786
OP here, thanks for all the advice, gonna try to respond to everything:
>>16832786
She always does her nails anyway, guess i can take her shopping and get pay for a massage, thanks.
>>16832787
I suspect as much, which is why i live my girl.
>>16832859
We have sex almost every day.
>>16833382
No i dont like fake tits.
>>16833635
Shes not my slave, i always try to do nice thing for her.
>>16833667
Shes kind, caring, cuddly, loyal, we share interests, like the same movies, shes low maintenance, never nags, and loves me for who i am. I could go on all day.
>>16833758
Good advice, thanks.
>>16834164
No.
>>16834401
Sex is really not my problem, its probably the best part of our relationship.
>>16834411
I would never tell her any of this what are you talking about i wouldnt hurt her like that, and i wont leave her or cheat on her.
>>16834554
Why so obsessed with porn lol, your saying if im watching porn i should stop and if im not i should start? Makes no sense.
>>16834702
Also, sorry for the typos my phone sucks.
Inb4 you're / your
>>16834702
>No i dont like fake tits.
>I often wish she looked something like pic related
You're contradicting yourself
>>16834744
Like I said, if that girl has fake tits i chose the wrong pic I just wanted to post a pic of a generic hot girl with big boobs
>>16834804
You don't want a chick with big knockers, those things start to sag, the bigger the earlier.
>I want my girlfriend to compete with something that isn't even real.
You realize those pictures are photo-shopped to fuck, right?
Get funnier, maybe she'll want to look hotter for a funnier more exciting man.
>>16834833
Like I already said I see hotter girls in real life when I walk with my girlfriend, I'm not just comparing her to shopped models
>>16831771
Don't be a fucking idiot. Treat her how you want to be treated. She made you a king so make her your queen, everyone else are peasants. If you fuck this girl over just because you want some bitch in the pic you don't deserve love. Who fucking care if she has small tits, she might not exactly be a trophy you can show off but shes not a fucking ogre. Shes doing her absolute best
>>16834839
Then go be with them and leave her so she can be with someone who will love her entirely.
Why is this such a complicated thing?
Have an open relationship at least. You are so selfish.
>>16834839
Chances are they're massive cunts, used goods. Stop being a dick head
>>16834846
Like I said she is not ugly or chubby or anything but doesn't turn heads
>>16834848
But I do love her which is why I made this thread on the first place
>>16834804
>Like I said, if that girl has fake tits i chose the wrong pic
If you can't tell the difference why do you dislike them?
>>16834859
>But I do love her which is why I made this thread on the first place
Love is not possession. Let her go. Someone else will love her looks and she will turn his head.
Listen, what you are doing is selfish and don't think for a moment she doesn't know that you are not that excited for her, she knows alright. The next guy who makes her feel truly beautiful is going to win her heart. You watch. Be it now or in 5 more years you waste with her. She will leave you or you will leave her, but this won't last, I promise. It never does.
>>16834859
> but doesn't turn heads
Why is that such a big deal, at least ass other ass wholes wont be trying to fuck her behind your back. Be thankful for what you got bro. You want to make her feel safe with you and good about herself, stop comparing her to chicks you don't even know just because their tits are bigger. You could have a stronger jawline and a bigger dick but she loves you for what you got. You should do the same.
>>16834864
Be gentle OP don't fuck her up for the next guy
Train her to gib nice massages -
Train her to speak softly -
Buy her clothes like OP pic related -
Get her a long blonde slutty wig to wear out -
Explain nicley that you like her just how she is, but variety seems to be fun. She might like to do the same to you!
>>16834862
And you can tell? You can guarantee with 100% certainty that she has breast implants just from looking at that pic?
>>16834870
It's obvious, they're more common than you think
>>16831771
Don't leave her, you will regret it. Trust me, i've been in the same situation before
>>16834869
She already does give me massages, and I already convinced her a long time ago to grow her hair out really long so I like it just the way it is right now
>>16834874
No. HE SHOULD leave her. He can play with his regrets later but she deserves someone who isn't a snake. OP is shady as fuck. Imagine being with someone who has these ill thoughts about you?
OP leave her please.
>>16834874
I won't
>>16834869
Oh - go to a party with her in Venetian mask - in sexy clothing with the big blonde wig and see how she really draws the flies.
Yuo will feel oh so much more attracted then!
>>16834880
How old are you?
>>16834880
Please do. Why won't you leave her be happy with someone who finds her really sexy?
I'm 5 and a half year in to my current relationship. Felt thirsty about the 2 year mark as well. You need to masturbate more. It will get better with the years.
Also think about why you are in the relationship. Do you need a partner and confidant? Does she makes you a better person? If that's the case, why throw all that away just to get your dick wet?
>>16834870
It's like she has two balloons on her chest
>140+ replies
>still not ending
Why even bother, he's just going to fuck it up anyway; not like he'll come back here and say HAY GUISE I FUKED ANOTHER GIRL AND SHE LIKED IT HURR DURR THANKS FOR THE INNER CHILD ADVISE
>>16834702
I never said that it was.
Karezza isn't just about sex, it's a lot more than that. It's about regular bonding behaviors like hugs, back rubs, kissing etc along with orgasm avoidance. From science perspective it's mostly about controlling your brains oxytocin and dopamine levels while keeping your sensitivity in check by avoiding over stimulation that leads to desensitization.
Many couples that have been together for a very long time have used the method and regained the long lost passion, love and attraction in their relationship.
Yes even outside the bedroom.
"Too much of a good thing can be bad. The Secret is moderation"
Applies to literally everything in life.
>>16831771
convince her to let you sleep with more attractive women and assure her that she's the only one you love and that the former will be purely physical
the reason why this might work with women, is because love from a man guarantees resources will keep going to her, and as long these don't cease she technically shouldn't mind. however, the risk of you falling in love with your flings still exists in her primitive-reptilian brain so she'll always be insecure if she lets you do that, so one way to EXTRA-assure her is to get engaged.
>>16831771
Try Hotwifing or some form of it. Not advocating being a cuck. I am saying, when you see other guys wanting your chick, she starts to look a lot more attractive.
My wife and I have been together for 7 years. We go to the bar sometime and split up. Drives me fucking crazy when I see other dudes buying her drinking and flirting with her.
>>16835110
cuck
>>16832179
You might not wanna hear this OP but I'd say you're not compatible. I'm sure thousands of guys could be in a relationship with her and be perfectly happy.
You're not one of those guys. That's not a bad thing. Better to realize this now than in 10 years when you're married and have kids.
If this is bothering you so much now then it will only get worse, so just end things while you still can or you'll only start to resent her later.
>>16832775
>someone better than me
>im lonely as fuck
Clean up that shit attitude anon. There's more to life than some chick.
>>16835110
>Literally a cuck
what /adv/ has become?
>>16835151
this board features a large population of roasties, roasties which would love to ride the alpha cock carousal while cucking a beta, are you that surprised that betas might be lurking about?
Date the girl with the beautiful face, huge tiddies, and a desire to wear a corset
>>16834875
Sounds like you don't know how to settle, I'm not even a roastie wench but you need to realize that she's the best you're ever gonna do.
Pound it into your head that the hot girls are not going to fuck you and so what. She sounds pretty great and if shes like a 6/10 then that's just the case, realize you aren't chad thundercock and never were. Stop bitching and go fuck yours in the ass and be glad you get warm hole service, massages, and food when you want.
>>16831771
There's plenty you can do with your girl to keep things new and interesting. Take her to get her hair done a different way that you like. Get her something sexy to wear that you like. Try new sex positions. Have a fun vacation with her. The best sex I have ever had was with my girlfriend when we were on vacation for 2 weeks visiting her family in a different state. Even though it was just the same sex we always had it felt way better for some reason. Maybe just because we were having such a good time on vacation and I didn't have to worry about work? I don't know it was great though. I can't wait to go on another one.
hot girls cheat.
>>16831771
Physical beauty doesn't last forever (unless you're an elf).
>>16836050
That too. I hate how damn full of themselves they are too. I know there are exceptions, but hot girls tend to be really bitchy.
>>16836127
Why wouldn't they be full of themselves? They can get literally anything they want through sex
>>16836128
From some guys maybe. Those of us men that are keen to their bullshit see them for how they really are. Fuck their Helen of Troy bullshit. Manipulative bitches be destroying nations and shit. LOL
>>16836142
>implying you're important enough to fuck
>>16836146
I have a girlfriend. Soon to be fiance.
>>16836156
Fiance is male
Fiancée is female
You're a real catch.
>>16836162
Semantics you fucking shitposting loser.
>>16836165
Yeah you're marrying a male, just semantics bro
>>16836173
That's like saying someone's ignorance of gravity negates gravitational force. You are just a bitter virgin loser. Do you think electrons just didn't exist before we figured out what they were?
>>16836288
1/10 made me reply
>>16836295
That's my line you bastard.
You learn to live with it OP, and realise the grass isn't always greener.
>have 9/10 gf
>nice personality
>doesn't suck dick
>can't have sex with her
>can't cook
>isn't blonde (kek)
Hot chicks have their own problems as well.
Also learn to take peeks stealthily.
>>16836338
Why can't you have sex with her lol?
>>16836338
>have an attractive gf
>can't be physically intimate
the fuck is the point then? eye candy?
also, my gf won't suck dick either. like, it's CURRENT YEAR.
>>16836391
>she doesn't suck sick
>yet you're still dating her
CURRENT YEAR @ that
>>16831771
OP your prob doing it right and not even know it. The fact that you think your girlfriend is nothing special/want something better guarantees she wont ever leave you. You may not tell her so but she picks up on it. Women wont leave a guy that treats them right who is of higher value (in their mind) than they are. On the flipside, guys that get a hot girlfriend and start treating them like a goddess eventually get dumped/sexless relationship.
When you do get a girl that's is a 9/10 to you, its a chore treating them the right way. Sounds complicated because it is. Girl are not like men.
One last thing. Girls don't measure your attractiveness on looks. Your charm, confidence, ability to support them, and to a lesser extent your PERCEIVED NATURAL strength matter most.
