>>16803835
inb4 people reply to obvious bait

>tl;dr in love, outside factors ended relationship, she realized it was a mistake, wants to get married now. what do

>>16803835
Do it lmao, just tell her that she should trust her own feelings over what other people say

>>16803839
it's not bait.
I just really want some outside opinions. I love this girl so much, and I want to know just how impractical im being or if this makes any sense at all
>>16803847
she told me she was just scared. she's never felt someone actually have genuine love and care for her. she told me she panicked. she always told me that when shit hit the fan, she just never knew how to react so she would run.

Yeah, rushing things right after she came from another guy would be a REALLY good idea ...

I haven't learned much in my life, but there are two things that I have picked up:
1. Women can lie even when you assume they can't.
2. Women rushing you into marriage never has anything to do with love - at least not in our current day and age - but them wanting you to be a safety net. And if necessary, they will apply to your romantic feelings of love.

That's all I am gonna say.

>>16803868
she admitted to lying to me and she's telling me she will prove it to me that she is sorry and that she means it.

her family raised her in a highly traditional sense, so in her mind, marriage is the highest form of commitment. I personally would never have to get married to know where my head and heart is as with a women, we could file it as a domestic partnership or never even be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I would still act the same.

I'm not sure how she would see me as a safety net though, I'm not rich and I don't have crazy possessions.

thanks for the input anon

>>16803882
>she admitted to lying to me and she's telling me she will prove it to me that she is sorry and that she means it.

Then let her prove it while not getting married.

>her family raised her in a highly traditional sense, so in her mind, marriage is the highest form of commitment

If she really had a change of heart, she by now would have realized that her family are religious wackos that cannot be taken seriously by anyone with a working brain. Still adhering to their ridiculous traditions is either retarded or a front for a pretty rational reason - said safety net.

>we could file it as a domestic partnership or never even be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I would still act the same.

Exactly. Yet she does not want to have this as a transition time. I smell bullshit.

>I'm not sure how she would see me as a safety net though

You have a job, you are partially successful in it (I assume?), you seem to be pretty confident in yourself, and you already had a relationship with her - a.k.a. easy money.

I am not saying that you should never marry her, but I am simply not digging her wish for that high an commitment. Especially when you can be that fucked in a marriage as a man nowadays. Anything else would be not a logical decision.

In the end, you decide what's more important. But if she is serious with you, I think she would actually understand your restrains and give you a little time.

>>16803906
I think her wanting to get married is a pretty big proof. Like I said, very religious and with god, so marriage isn't something thats taken lightly with her.

She has realized that they are crazy. She told her mother off and is dealing with that currently.

I'm just weird when it comes to titles. She's a really girly girl, loves being called princess and all that stuff. So for her, the title means a lot.

To me the commitment is nothing more than appealing to her needs. It doesn't matter to me greatly, but if that's what will make her understand that I do in fact love her, I will do it. Does that make any sense?


also how exactly could this backfire?

>>16803853
"Love this girl"
NORMIE REEEEEEEEE

>>16803918
>I'm just weird when it comes to titles. She's a really girly girl, loves being called princess and all that stuff. So for her, the title means a lot.

Where I am coming from, we have the concept of an "church wedding", where you are not actually married by the law of the state, but by church. If she just wants the title, she might be fine with that - provided that this is a possibility where you are living.
Continue living with her like that. If she means what she told you and you can see it, afterwards you could do a legal wedding. That way, she'd be your wife, but in case it backfires you might be in the clear.

>also how exactly could this backfire?
You paying for her. Laws in the states, from all I have heard, have become pretty ridiculous when it comes for female compensation. That would also be a security net, and in case she was just lying to you, or she ever gets bored of you - not saying that it's going to happen, but the possibility is just there - she'd just get divorced.

>inb4 she's never going to do that.

I have seen the most purest and girliest girls turn into greed itself when it comes to money. My own uncle fell into that trap, and it might have lead to his early death (together with other things, that is).

Even worse if you get kids. In that case I can actually understand the state making sure that your kids receive payments.

That's why I would be careful about it.

Also sorry for the retarded English, germanfag on the keyboard.

>>16803947
We were planning on just going to the court house and doing it there, nothing fancy or anything. Since it was just such a spur of the moment, I told her we could do a big traditional wedding in the future.

I have my finances and everything in a business that is owned by my father. It's basically just to avoid taxes and stuff. technically I really have nothing to my name. I have a 1099 that shows I made roughly 50k, but I made probably double that but it's just in account I have access to.

She has a stick in her arm, and I use protection. Kids are definitely not happening anytime soon.

>>16803955
>I have my finances and everything in a business that is owned by my father.

Let's hope that, if it proves enough protection against the IRS, it might also provide enough against her in case shit goes down the drain.

If you are sure about that - I have nothing more to add. From my side everything is said.

>>16803990
If you were me, what would you do?

My finances are definitely protected against the IRS. My net worth is shit, but it's just stashed away.

>>16804041
>If you were me, what would you do?
I already told you. Church wedding, and from that point on see what happens. She would be your wife, she has the title, but you are still somewhat protected. From that position, you can see if she means business.

But, that's just me. And I am often told that I am way too logical for my own benefit.

>>16804050
thanks for everything you said anon.

Perhaps set a date for later in the year. No rush, the buzz of being in love is the real rush