Hey /adv/ I'm really conflicted about something at work. I don't know if I'm being jealous or what. It's a wall of text, but I appreciate your help.
Some context
>new lady starts at my job
>works in area where we're doing some upgrades
>boss decides to have her help us with some validation work
>work weekends together to finish it faster
>be kind of shy
>she finally breaks me down and we start talking
>[spoiler] She's 9 years my senior, is married, and has 3 kids so there's no romantic feelings from either side [/spoiler]
>newer lady shows up
>knows there's a nice new position opening up (I'm first in line to get it but she thinks she can weasel her way in)
>first lady and I have been eating lunch together a lot and she brings me food from home often
>invites new lady to eat with us
>I don't really like her but whatever I'll be nice
>new lady and first lady are both close to the same age, both married with kids
>starts talking to new lady all the time and talks to me much less
>doesn't invite me to eat with her at all anymore
>invites new lady all the time
>asks her if she wants to grab lunch
>says nah go ahead and eat I'll be late to do it
>tell her don't worry I'll wait I'll probably be here late today anyway
>she doesn't bother to tell me at all and invites the new lady
>new lady is so jealous of me and wants the promotion so bad
>tell first lady that I really don't like the new lady and all
>>16797482
Was your mother emotionally distant when you were a child? You are obviously jealous. Go make friends your own age, mang.
>>16797496
What the fuck is wrong with YOU, bro? Did your parents not love you enough? Did Uncle Dave tough you inappropriately? Because something must have happened to make you into a judgemental piece of shit with zero human emotion left, and whatever that thing was, it sure and fuck wasn't a small thing.
>>16797496
Actually kind of the opposite, it was actually my father who left.
I don't know, we used to have fun together and we'd help each other, but now she all contacts me when she wants me to help her with something. Also, she knows how much this woman tries to undermine me and get the promotion.
>>16797503
Nailed it, I guess... Go tell your mother how you feel and ask if she wants to get dinner and catch up. Start slow, but be persistent. Goodluck, mang.
>>16797503
I mean, this new lady did straight up say she was willing to do anything to get the position, and she's a well known narc.
I told her that I don't think I could be friends with the new lady because of that.
>>16797507
Ah, I see. It is rather unorthodox for people with such a large age gap to become more than friendly acquaintances. Friends come and go, that's part of life. Just be happy that she is having fun with this new lady. N on likes a sourpuss.
>>16797530
I just don't understand why she'd be so much friendlier with her than me, I guess either.
Because both her and the new lady are temp workers. I've actually tried to use some of my sway to get the first lady a full time job where we work. I just feel betrayed that after all I've done to help her, she'd buddy up with someone who's selfishly trying to screw me over.
>>16797544
Unfortunately they probably have some kind of repore. They have similar lives and can talk about things that you never will be able to.
She hasn't been inviting you because you can't possibly have much to add when it comes to conversing about husbands and kids and whatnot.
>>16797544
Don't take it personal, mang. Sometimes things happen that you don't have control over, and actively trying to fix them will make it worse. If you enjoyed her company then make it clear that you are still open to being her friend and leave it at that. Forcing the subject will just push her away.
I wish I could give you some answer, but its near impossible to guess why something like this happens. Maybe the first lady is just craving female attention, there's a pretty good chance that she doesn't have much of a social life outside of work due to her having three children.
Like I said earlier, just be happy that she is happy. Life's to short to let the little things keep you up at night.
>>16797573
Yeah, that's what I've been thinking. It just feels so crappy. I mean, I would never be friends with someone who actively tries to undermine one of my friends.
Anyway, I've been purposely avoiding her at work. I don't want to be mean to her or anything, but I'm obviously not too happy about the situation.
>>16797580
Eh, she's actually Asian, so she has like 7 brother and sister in laws, and because they're a sizeable but still small minority, they have all kinds of Asian events that they do.
Both the other girl and I are White.
