So I've had this fwb for 3 years. We've become essentially best friends. We've done stuff like new years even together, live theatre together stuff like that. In the last 4 or 6 months I've developed feelings for her and finally 3 weeks ago I asked her to be my gf. She said she doesn't know if she can see me as more than a friend then I asked "so would I be wasting my time you don't think it could work?" Then she said "I think it could work but I'm not sure I can commit, I need to think about it."
On Monday night we had a long discussion about it and we kind of realised that our issue is we missed the infatuation phase of the relationship, and we ended the discussion again with her saying she needs to think about it. She also drew the inference that if she says no, we might stop talking, which idk if she could deal with because it would be losing a best friend.
We're supposed to see each other tomorrow night and she will let me know if she is interested in trying a relationship.
Any idea what my chances are?
Regardless of her answer, should I play hard to get?
I've been anxious since Monday and can't sleep. I just want to call her tonight and ask again.
>>16790935
>should I play hard to get
No. You told her you have feelings for her, so hard to get is off the table at this point
You're chances are less than 4%. If she wanted to get in a relationship that wasn't just jumping your bones every other time, she would have by now.
Just find another girl and be prepared for her to get jealous when you do, cause women are like that.
>>16790938
But she could think I've lost interested given her hesitancy
>>16790940
>You're chances are less than 4%. If she wanted to get in a relationship that wasn't just jumping your bones every other time, she would have by now
She told me when we first started having sex she was into me but was worried she would scare me away if she expressed that
That was 3years ago
Now it's the other way around
>>16790935
The fucks an infatuation phase. That's some next level bullshit.
Spoilers you dummies are already a couple.
Upgrading from fwb to gf. As if that means squat.
Work out what you want in real terms. Permanent relationship, eventual kids, whatever. Be honest. If you aren't upping the stakes here what does what you call your arrangement even matter.
>>16790959
Youd be suprised how obsessed people are by definitions and semantics when it comes to a relationship.
>>16790959
Well
I thought this too, but idk if she wants to commit to exclusivity
I mean 2 years ago I banged some other girl and didn't feel bad
But if I did it now it would feel really wrong for me. Idk if she would feel the same way
>>16790959
>The fucks an infatuation phase. That's some next level bullshit
Like lust. When both parties are strongly attracted to each other sexually
For us it was always "wanna have sex?"
"Okay"
And we wouldn't even make out or anything
She sucked my dick a lot though
Fuck I've been tortured by this for almost a week
>>16790935
hers the gist.
She has what she wants from you. basically imagine being a beta orbiter except you get sex.
There is no reason for her to upgrade your status. You emotionally support her, you hang out with her, you do stuff with her, and you sleep with her.
What will changing the status quo do for her.
Shes comfortable and happy and you are asking for change.
Now heres the catch. You do have to cut all of that stuff out. Because if you like her and do all the stuff a bf would do for her, then you are allowing her to take from you what she needs and be content with friendzoning you.
When you get a different gf you would cut out all of that stuff anyways.
Ask her this, how would she feel if you got a gf and had to stop doing everything right this moment. Would she just let you go if she had a chance to stop that. If yes then she just doesnt want you. If no then she wants her cake and eat it too. Which she cant have.
>I asked her to be my gf.
What is it that you're trying to actually change about the relationship? Exclusivity? Spending more time together? Facebook status? What?
tell us your answers, and then go tell her that's what you want to do with her.
>>16791840
If he's getting pussy he isn't a beta or whatever. It sounds like they are in a non monogamous relationship, which possibly works for her.
Don't rock the boat, op.
>>16791864
Mostly exclusivity perhaps more time together more emotionally involved with one another
>>16791911
I didnt say he was a beta. Just that hes in the same position.
She's supposed to call within the hour. What should I say?
you know this is kind of stupid
>>16792821
i should probably say that, true.
You're not supposed to catch feelings for sluts.
She didn't call. Fuck it I suck.
I ended it with her
She never called me, wouldn't answer her phone, then texts me at 9, sorry I'm busy now I'll call you at 10
Texts me at 10, sorry I can't call we can still do tomorrow
I said I'm done with your games, this obviously doesn't matter to you so forget it
