in my friend group, im really close to two guys, but one girl on the periphery, whenever we hang out, likes to mock me/humiliate me in front of the group, and my friends never back me up, one kind of uncomfortably laughs along, the other who is a nice guy but he laughs along in earnest, but the girl hurts my feelings, and then tonight me and the two guys go out to a bar, and some random stranger starts talking to us, and the dude legit mocks me in front of them and they didnt even defend me.
now, i'm basically feeling like these guys won't ever back me up now, so i'm better off without them. but for spring break i put the payment down on a house in the caribbean for a week. i really want to cancel it and tell them all to fuck off, and spend more time with people who got my back and dont think my humiliation is entertaining
the worst part is we go back to my bros house and he is talking to his girlfriend telling her how funny the bar situation was
>>16785373
do you stick up for yourself?
Tbh bro it's not very often we find ourselves having to "get backed up" so u wouldn't sweat it. As long as they're really cool about other things and "have your back" on things like getting kicked out or needing a ride. Not when you're getting made fun of and won't stick up for yourself. Just go with your gut.
Wait I didn't read that last part, was he laughing at you or just at the situation?
>>16785373
Thanks doc
>>16785415
what's the difference?
>>16785427
Dude could be probably not "stuck up" for him because he just found the situation funny and didn't find the dude a threat
girl's a bitch and you shouldn't need your friends to speak up for you in that situation, you're being sensitive to it
>>16785469
i'm clearly sensitive to it. i didn't make a big thing of it at the time because my friend had his brand new girlfriend over at the time and i didnt want to cause conflict for him and make him look bad, but apparently they have no problem throwing me under the bus for amusement.
>>16785542
do you stick up for yourself?
>>16785381
>>16785592
>>16785373
Well, do you? If you're the comedic relief for the group and don't do anything to get yourself out of that position, why should they?
>>16785592
i try to, but its tough when everyone is laughing at you.
>>16785614
"Haha alright guys cool it with all the jokes"
Something along these lines
Say it laughingly yet assertively
>>16785614
>i try to
how? how does the laughter stop you.
people are often clowns. people dont stick up for clowns. people dont stick up for people who dont stick up for themselves.
you might be their punching bag and dont realize it. you might be too far gone for them to care for.
but at the end of the day if you DONT make a big deal about how people treat you, why should they assume its a big deal? sounds like you are expecting people to RESCUE you, not to back you up.
