I'm really socially awkward and have a hard time making friends.
But that's not what this thread is about. My bigger problem now is that I've started getting better at making friends but I constantly feel self conscious with them. Mostly I feel like I don't know how to strike the right balance between giving attention and avoiding being clingy. I don't want to hang back or leave them alone so much that they think I'm avoiding them but I don't want to call/see them so much that I wear out my welcome with them.
How do you figure out the right balance? Will it just be really obvious when someone gets tired of you being around too much? Sometimes I'm supposed to call or text someone to say hi or see if they want to do something but then I feel like if I do so I just come across as clingy.
How do I stop being so awkward?
>>16784891
Has someone told you you're being clingy? Because if they haven't and you're still curious just pay attention to see if they're ignoring you or getting annoyed. Not saying you'd have to but if you expand your group of friends you won't feel clingy to that one friend
the best thing you can do is
>limit yourself to certain times
>get them to invest in said hang out times
>gauge their reactions
so first
>limit yourself to certain times.
i see casual friends at most, once a week. but at least once a month. i see good friends AT LEAST once a week, at best twice a week (but more for special occasions). i try not to force things beyond that. if someone gets annoyed seeing you once a week, chances are you arent meant to be friends. and its okay that they get annoyed with you. its not your fault. its just a bad connection. cut em out, or reduce them greatly.
>get them invested in hang out times
a lot of people are having a weird problem where they hang out and its just kinda weird. you just hang out. whats the point? whats drawing oyu two together?
so finding an actual activity to enjoy together, even if you didnt know it existed before helps. me and my friends seemed to LOVE each other when we were forced to work together, but having the mover just for dinner felt weird.
then they showed me some board games, and now we play board games twice a week and its a whole thing. when that got dull i introduced them to this REALLY whacky video game thats set up like a board game (like mario party) and they loved it. now we look forward to and talk about how crazy the last time was and get excited for the next play through etc. find something even if its weird and stupid to make them think 'wow that wa sfun, we need to do this again'. invite people to lasertag or whatever else is around. make a thing out of it.
>gauge reactions
this ones easy. ask to hang out. see how fast they get back to you. do they cancel easily? is it for a REAL reason? if they cancel or postpone a lot they just arent that excited abotu seeing you. maybe take a step back and see what they say to you. maybe limit yourself to only requesting a hang out once a month and seei f they ever request for YOU to hang out.
>>16785046
No, nobody has told me that. I even asked one of my friends and she just laughed and told me I was overthinking things and that she enjoyed my company. Still, hard for me to shake the feeling.
I know if I made more friends I could split my time up more, I just have trouble getting close to people. I can be friendly and make new acquaintances all day but just hard for me to connect beyond that.
