real advice please
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
im a 23 yr old female student going to school in California. I was drugged and raped earlier this week at a frat part that i was invited to. I'm so sure that it was some of my bfs frat friends who did it but have no way of finding out. I just can't remember their faces but I remember everything they did to me. I've been really struggling since then and don't know what to do now. Do I tell my bf? Do I tell my parents? What do I do now? I feel helpless and just really hurt and degraded. Has anyone gone through anything like this? How did you move on?
Are you calling police now or in 10 years
>>16776086
Well... sorry but you're pretty much fucked, no pun intended.
Several friends I've known have been in your position but because they waited and fucked around no one believed them when they were ready to tell what happened.
I think you should just find a therapist and cope.
>>16776126
that sounds fucked up. thats not right... just cope??
>>16776086
Go to the police now, the longer you wait, the harder it is to build a case.
The police may have an idea who these guys are based on past experiences you don't know about. They can also interview your boyfriend about who was there and who his friends are.
Have you gotten tested for STDs and pregnancy yet? Rapists aren't really known for their caution about stuff like that.
Why didn't you go to the cops right away?
>>16776198
>expecting women to act logically
>>16776207
>>expecting logical behavior after trauma.
I deal with people who are victimized for a living. Generally I'm the first person they talk to.
Women don't have a monopoly on not thinking clearly after being victimized, I promise you.
Anon, call the police and tell them when, where and who you you remember being there. Anything else that comes to mind would help. Don't wait to much longer, memory is less reliable as time passes
>>16776198
i wss scared that they wouldnt take me seriously because i dont remember much about my rapists and cant provide much detail because i was nearly unconscious while it was happening.
>>16776192
thanks i didnt think that the police might actually have a history of these rapists. and yes i did get checked for stds and thankfully i dont have anything.
I'm in a fraternity... and let me just tell you something. If a fraternity gets any bad news at all it gets blown out of proportion. Universities would love an excuse to get rid of them. I would report it to the university/police. I guarantee they would take it very seriously even if you don't have that much information. ESPECIALLY since it was at a fraternity party they will be glad to help.
I'm just kinda confused on what happened though. Why were you at a frat party without your bf? It's extremely odd and terrible for someone to rape someone, but why would they rape their frat brothers girlfriend? I feel like it wouldn't have been one of your bf's frat brothers, but I don't know I'm not you. Not trying to make this situation seem like it's any less awful, It just shocks me how this shit happens. Best of luck.
>>16776245
you are fucking retarded. They have to take you fucking seriously and they would. They can try and get a dna sample if you go to the police immediately, now they can't do shit because no evidence and no suspects so as for getting any punishment to the rapists it's really unlikely unless they fess up.
You should tell someone tho, it's going to make you feel a little better, people who are close to you are there for you in these situations the same way you would be there for them if something bad happened to them, they will believe you and help you get through it. If that's not enough, you can always get professional help.
>>16776293
thanks for your idea!
the only reason i thought it might be his friends was because they seemed to know me and i dont really have a ton of guy friends. and i wasnt with my bf because he recently broke his leg and was at home. i just ended up going with a girlfriend of mine who i guess left before it happened
>>16776323
oh yeah, let's fuck over a ton of people in the fraternity who had nothing to do with it because you were too retarded to go to the police after it happened and they might have caught the actual perpetrators. For all you know they might haven't even been from the fraternity. But sure, whatever floats your cunty boat.
>>16776086
Women are fucking morons. I swear they complain about how rapists go unpunished and then when raped they don't tell anyone. OF COURSE RAPISTS GO UNPUNISHED IF YOU LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT.
Why don't women just tell the fucking police?
>>16776506
Fucking this. The police will climb up your fucking ass to solve a rape case so that they can go and look like fucking feminist heroes. You don't get that much attention form police with any other crime. I could get mugged, immediately go to the police and get laughed at but if you go and say you were raped they will go fucking apeshit.
>>16776518
thanks obama
>>16776086
> I've been really struggling since then and don't know what to do now.
Go tell the police
> Do I tell my bf?
Yes but first tell the police
> Do I tell my parents?
Yes and tell the police
> What do I do now?
Tell the goddamn police
> I feel helpless and just really hurt and degraded.
You're not helpless. You can tell the police
> Has anyone gone through anything like this? How did you move on?
Why does that matter? Go tell the police
>>16776510
A lifetime of slowly absorbing a cultural background noise full of
>but what were you wearing?
>lol she was just drunk and regrets it
>she's just doing it to ruin his reputation
>dozens and dozens of untouched rape kits
will do that to a person
>>16776555
Sometimes you got to stop being emotional and act on logic
Hell you can do both, both go to the police and mope on Facebook
Contact the police and tell them everything. Just so that they have it on file at least, in case it gets reported again they have a pattern of activity on file.
Also, for future reference, fraternity parties are pretty much organized for the purpose of getting women, knowingly or not, intoxicated past the point of being sensate and having sex with them. Your boyfriend associates with rapists. You and all the sorority girls and independents who go to frat houses associate with affluent rapists.
I'm not kidding. Frat shitheads will defend their nonsense all day, but the ugly truth is that fraternity parties are deliberately organized to be breeding grounds for rape, or at least were at my college.
>All men not associated with the Frat asked to leave at either 10 or 11
>Women only allowed to drink punch, which is mixed strongly, but you can't tell how alcoholic it is based on taste because it's strongly flavored
>At some point in the night it's only guys who aren't going to snitch on each other and girls who are typically separated from a group or alone and too drunk to function at even a reduced capacity
Trust me on this: you aren't even going to be the only girl this month who gets raped in that frat house.
