How do I get someone from bothering me?
I befriended someone with many physical defects, medical problems, and special needs. She has a learning disability, a speech impediment, and metal in her spine. We got closer because we both work at the same place. After hanging out with her once, and assessing the situation, I confirmed she just made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to be friends anymore.
She tends to go full throttle, keeps pressing and prying with similar questions even after I've answered them to the best of my abilities. I can't really place it. Just makes me uncomfortable. The thing is, I am honest and quickly told her that I don't want to be friends anymore. When pressed about the matter I stated that she made me uncomfortable. When pressed even more I went into specifics.
Ignoring her isn't seeming to work, she just keeps messaging me. Help?
P.S: the best way I can express my discomfort is how animals can sense another member of their species is defective and avoid them. The same way animals are cast out or shunned from their peers.
I am shallow but that's besides the point. I just want to be separated from this autistic person.
>>16769627
Call her the fuck out. Easiest way to do it. You'll gain a hater, but from what you wrote it looks like you don't care. Easiest, most efficient way but requires alot of spine.
>>16769672
I actually did. It didn't work :( I wasn't that hard on her because I didn't want to hurt her. But she doesn't seem to get the point
>>16769693
The whole reason to call somebody out IS TO HURT them. As long as you'll be concerned about her feelings she won't let go.
>>16769705
So I would just need to be as honest as possible, anon?
Also have you been in this kind of situation before? Or something similar?
Stop replying to her messages, and maybe she'll eventually get it. Block her messages if you have to. Decline her invitations to meet. Only interact with her when you have to, such as at work.
Maybe she feels like she has nothing to lose, so she'll keep messaging you. Or she's been coddled all her life and can't take no for an answer. Or she's autistic (in a sense) and/or in denial. Anyway the situation can't be that bad, you don't have to talk to her or meet her outside of work if you don't want to.
>>16769720
Anon it's been hard but I haven't replied to anything
>>16769716
I was. I'm talking out of experience here.
I pretty much told my ex-gf to go fuck herself like that when she wanted to play the "i don't want you but i want you" game. You need to be prepared though, some people don't take it with dignity and will even sent their "friends" (more like dogs, because nobody sane gets involved into things between 2 other people) like my ex did.
Honesty is something people can't stand these days. It's your life and you're allowed to throw down to shitter anybody who's draining you, and if other methods don't work you're free to be mean. Calculate the risks, did she piss you off enough to throw everything in her face? Do you really resent that person to the point of giving her an earful?
>>16769739
>calculate the risks
This is some good advice anon. I'll heed it
It's not worth it to be mean but I might just simply say "please stop bothering me".
>>16769750
You're welcome. Keep that advice for further encounters. Remember that you're allowed to tell people to get out of your life, and if they don't respect it, you can defend yourself with all means necessary.
>>16769716
Ive been in ur shoes b4. After i left this friend i saw her around and she had this face of just sadness in her. Sure my life is bit without her but i always feel so shit for hurting her. Think thus through op dont regret it. Be as polite as possible, the burden knowing you hurt someone is really tough once it hits you. Think this through and be as polite as possible while trying to hurt her as little as possible. She is another human being as well remember that.
>>16769763
Can't agree. If somebody hurts you you're free to retaliate. You give people as much as they deserve, and if they deserve bitter truth, you deliver bitter truth. Life is not about being nice to everybody, life is about being the best you can ever be for people you care about. I always hurt people after they've hurt me, and never regret it. "You mess with the bull, you get the horns"
Guise it worked I think. Thank you all :D I think she took the hint
