I want to die. Really bad. Like suicidal thoughts constantly. I feel like I need to get professional help. My family doesn't have much money and I don't have the nerve to tell them I need professional help. What do?
How old are you?
>>16766823
Does my age really matter?
I'm 18 but still in highschool and living with my adopted family.
Apply for medicaid if you think you'd qualify (if you're over 18). If not, talk to whoever manages your family's finances (mom or dad, usually) and ask if they've considered applying.
If you already have health insurance, congratulations! See a psychiatrist.
>I wish I could be more helpful but honestly I only got the help I needed when I was put into a psychiatric hospital
Here are some links which may or may not help.
Finding a mental health provider: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530
Finding a therapist (get one if you can, they really do help): http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist
Dealing with suicidal thoughts: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm
A list of suicide hotlines by country (find a relevant one and put it in your phone's contacts -- that way if you need it, it'll be on hand): http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
>>16766833
Yeah it matters asshole.
If you are in high school go to a guidance counselor. They are trained to deal with this sort of messiness.
Also, think about joining the military, dude. Your family life is absolute fucking shit, and they are gonna drag you down and ruin your life unless you escape.
Sorry, dude. You've been dealt a pretty lousy hand
>>16766860
>clearly joining the military will help a suicidal person's mental illness
>>16766833
Age does matter. Partly it matters because your brain isn't done developing so you aren't nearly as good at managing emotions as someone age 25+ with a fully matured prefontal cortex. A situation that may make an older person stressed and frustrated, but otherwise OK, may totally overwhelm you.
A method proven to reduce distress from bad thought patterns is cognitive behavioral therapy. If you can't access professional help you might get some relief from the book 'Feeling Good' by David Burns. The idea is to challenge those irrational thoughts with thoughts based on reality rather than fear, e.g. 'Things will never get better' is unreal and irrational since there is evidence in your own past of bad situations turning to good later on, and certainly loads of evidence that life can improve in general.
Definitely do not join the military.
>>16766860
The military wouldn't take him in his state. They don't take you unless you're physically and mentally perfect from the day you're born. Or you're not but you lie and say you are.
>>16766860
I doubt guidance counselors would be able to actually help him.
>>16766835
>Apply for medicaid if you think you'd qualify (if you're over 18). If not, talk to whoever manages your family's finances (mom or dad, usually) and ask if they've considered applying.
Not OP:
Would being on medicaid impact my ability to get a job later on? Like, would an employer be able to find this information?
>>16767099
No. It's just your medical insurance.
They used to be able to ask if you'd ever seen a therapist but that's illegal now, too.
>>16767104
Wow, thanks anon!
Incidentally, the deadline for applying for Obamacare is Feb. 15, which is 12 days from now.
Until now, I thought I'd just pay the fine instead but what the heck, if an employer can't see it, lets see what programs I can qualify for!
> family doesn't have much money
if you're not taking vitamin d3, i'd start now. it's not cheap but it might be the thing you need to make yourself functional. i recommend a minimum of 5000ius daily (i'm currently taking 6000ius on account of the days still being rather cold and dark).
i also recommend getting a source of probiotics, like yogurt or fermented cheese (as opposed to spun cheeses or cheese products) or kimchi. your gut bacteria could be out of whack due to eating cheap processed foods which are loaded with antibiotic preservatives.
drink more water and take a multivitamin for any trace minerals you might be short on. take the d3 regardless.
also, like another anon said, start challenging your thoughts. you don't need to read a book to start (but please do read something on 'dialectical behavioral therapy'). be your own best friend (as opposed to being your own enemy, which does not inure your mind to any abuse and only makes a person bitter and cunty). ask yourself why you feel so bad and challenge those assertions (you might fail at x? well, you may also succeed if you give it your best) or else take them to their logical conclusion (...nobody ever xyz!! ...but wait, that is clearly not true...). you may find that you have unaddressed emotions that are based on entirely flawed beliefs.
also, f you don't have a physically demanding job, get some exercise for the endorphins and growth hormones.
make sure you get enough sleep. this is an underrated piece of advice. apportion 8 hours, even if you only sleep for 6.
