Don't do it. Ending your life is pointless, tragic and terrible.

You could just see a psychiatrist instead. Things can improve -- but you need treatment to even see that, sometimes.

So just get the treatment you need and don't pointlessly commit suicide, pl0x.

How to find a mental health provider: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530
How to find a therapist: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist
Dealing with suicidal thoughts: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm
A list of suicide hotlines by country (for fuck's sake, call one): http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

>>16766178
>>16766178
thing is I don't see any reason to go on living, my grades in college are terrible, my gf despises and uses me, i'm lonely, my room is such a mess that it smells and there are bugs everywhere.

I'm just an all around horrible person too.

I don't think those things would save me...

>>16766183
Why don't you sell all your shit and travel the world. Or try psychedelic drugs. If you haven't tried all the options then why kill yourself. You might find happiness and peace somewhere else. If you've tried it all, seen the entire world and still feel like this you can always kill yourself later. But not before you've tried every option first

>>16766183
These are very, very common thoughts with clinical depression. It's an illness, not a character flaw.

Yeah, you might be lazy or whatever else the fuck you think you are, but maybe you should check to see if you still think that way when your head is a better, saner, and more stable place.

I used to think the same things, and they were fucking bullshit. Part of what I learned in therapy was how to see what the real, objective me looks like, once I got into a state of mind where I wasn't in this constant pit of darkness and self-hatred.

>>16766198
psychedelic drugs make me really paranoid. I have no joy and no drive to travel around the world.

>>16766200
thing is I created a list of "reasons to kill myself" and a "reasons not to kill myself"

the "reasons to" list had about 80 or so, the "reasons not to" had about 5.

>>16766205
That is because you are mentally ill. The way in which you see the world -- and yourself -- are distorted.

We had an exercise when I was in a psychiatric hospital for depression where we were asked to write down a list of positive things about ourselves. Some people had trouble writing down just one good thing.

That isn't the real world, or the real you, and now is not the time to give up on yourself.

>>16766183
At least you have a girl friend, you're WAY better off than most people, you're also in school which is way better off than most people.

Clean your room and stop being a pussy. I have real reasons to kill myself.

>>16766208
i know it's kind of a "beta" thing to say or whatever but I feel like my gf has been emotionally abusing me too. All she ever does is yell at me or call me a retard or a "bad person" or whatever.

I guess im kind of a "nice guy" when it comes to her. I do everything nice to her but she seems to hate me because of it.

>>16766213
a girlfriend that doesn't even like me though. It's much worse to feel lonely around people than to be lonely.

>>16766217
How long have you been together?

Also do you actually like her?

>>16766221
6 months or so.

I mean occasionally but she does a lot of things that I hate and I could probably list off a big number of things that I HATE about her.

The worst part is that she seems so genuinely happy around everyone and everything else but with me she just hates me.

>>16766213
Yes, other people's problems being worse sure do make yours better. Clearly his problems aren't real and yours are far realer, or something.

If you have reasons to kill yourself, see a fucking psychiatrist.

>>16766217
Break up with her if you think she's abusive. You might love her, but clearly she isn't healthy to be with.

Please tell me you intend to get the help you need. You're an internet stranger, but I'd still like to know that you've started the path to recovery.

>>16766226
Focus on getting your grades up too.

Dumping your gf would help too. You have reached your lowest point, it's only uphill from here.

>>16766237
>>16766234
but i still love her

>>16766246
Love is not the only important thing about relationships. They have to be healthy, too.

You can find love elsewhere; you don't need to stay in a relationship in which you're unhappy, or abused, for that.

>>16766246
I know it seems like she is the only girl right now but there are others, don't worry.

The worst thing you can do right now is keep yourself pent up, you need to speak your mind to her and give her one last chance. If it doesn't work out, then move on.

There are others. Trust me anon.

I can't really give you advice for how to start decreasing your depression, but I can tell you that it's possible. I used to be depressed, and some days I lose the struggle and fall back into those feelings of worthlessness. But then it gets better again.

>>16766213
You wanna know what never once helped my depression? People telling me others had it worse than me.