>be me
>gf and i split a couple years ago
>still miss and think about her
>met plenty of other women but still cant move on
>still get sad and cry about her once in a while
>meet a cool chick a few months ago
>become rly good friends
>tell her i don't want a relationship because i miss my ex-gf and she could spend more time taking care of herself
>continue to be friends
>i have to move out of my house
>ask her if she wants to be roommates
>says yes
>we move in
>become even closer: spend tons of time together, do practically everything together, activities, sex (which she initiated), etc
>both not dating anyone or trying to date anyone
>she gets sad sometimes since i don't want to move beyond what we have and make it official
>tell her to meet other people because i miss my ex-gf and dont want a relationship
>rinse and repeat a few times
>recently, she tells me she loves me
I don't love her and I still don't want a relationship. Wat do? Shit is getting way too serious.
It doesn't matter where you are in life, what you're doing, or who you're with: treat the people around you with love and care no matter what the situation.
>>16763199
>It doesn't matter where you are in life, what you're doing, or who you're with: treat the people around you with love and care no matter what the situation.
I do. I'm very nice and treat her well (minus affection except during sex). I think that only contributes to her affinity towards me and compounds the problem. I don't want to start acting like a dick to her, so what options do I have?
OP here. I haven't been on /adv/ for a while. Has it been slow lately?
>>16763199
>>16763220
Sit your ass down with her imidietly if you want a slight chance of keeping her around as a friend. You should have made it clear after you had sex the first few times, that what you two have is fuckbuddy situation. Instead you let it go on looking like a - toward a relationship type of deal (from where I stand)
Unlike you she is craving for a relationship and will need a clear as hell "no this is not going towards that". You will have to be harsher because you stalled this long...
>>16763401
Its always slow
>>16763508
Part of me wants to be with her. She's sweet and would be a great partner. The other side of me wants to try and get back with my ex-gf. How do people figure these things out?
I wouldn't say it's a fwb situation. We have a special connection and we're very close. fwb seems casual and could be easily dropped. I don't see myself dropping her.
>>16763545
There you have it.
For me the pros and cons list works about 90% of time, tho I have never had a problem making a clear cut/line and stand on eather side of my decision.
Want to go back with your ex after how long apart? If its years ago...why bother - people split up for a reason, if you click together with this new girl so good I would defenetly give it a go with her first.
Eather way, you will have to settle things with this girl first since moraly you got you two tungled up in the situation you find yourself in <--Letting a bit of my moral compas in here, usually anon board ignores it
Is there a chance at all of you and your ex getting back together? Usually after a couple years of being broken up, it's over. If that's the case, it's time for you to move on.
>>16763601
I appreciate everyone's comment. I've told this new girl that I still miss my ex and she knows I still lithe her. I told the new girl that she should date other guys because I know this situation isn't fair to the her. She just sticks by my side and says she doesn't want to meet other people.
>>16763636
I've been trying to move on for a long time. Two years. Not sure why I can't get over her. I've tried meeting new chicks and getting to know them. Improving myself financially and keeping myself busy with hobbies. Doesn't work.
>>16763658
>she knows I still lithe her
Love*
>>16763174
Why are you roommate with this girl in the first place? Cmon it's very clear that you like her more than you think and I still don't understand why you are not with this girl
People break up for a reason. You are nostalgic for your ex like most people on /v/ are nostalgic of WoW in their teen years. Let her go.
That said, you aren't obligated to move on with this girl. She seems like a good fit though, so I would seriously consider it. If you do choose to not date her, you need to make it very, very clear. Stop fucking her. Women are dumb sometimes and will get the wrong idea if you keep fucking her.
Romance remembered is often better than experienced.
Let your ex go. She doesn't want you. You deserve better. You deserve somebody who wants to be with you.
See a therapist. Read a book. Find an online support group. Actively try to move on. You must find your own closure, true closure only comes from within.
As far as your roommate goes? GO FOR IT. She sounds great and you clearly enjoy being around her.
Be honest with your roommate and try to make it work. Don't say "I love you" unless you mean it. Tell her you want to try and that, yes, you are still hung up on your ex but you want to get over her. You are in a type of relationship with her already and you seem to enjoy it (you're not trying to date at all, you clearly are happy with her).
>>16763545
>I don't see myself dropping her.
I'm sorry but you can't be only friends if she loves you. That will slowly destroy her.
You have two choices.
1. Start a relationship with her
2. End your friendship with her.
Ending your friendship will be painful as hell but trying to be friends with her will DESTROY her just as you can't get over your ex. Even worse though because you can't heal from somebody unless there's distance. To get over someone you must reclaim yourself as an individual and lose your identity as a couple. You are currently a couple "do practically everything together" whether you label it as a romantic relationship or not.
Make your choice. If you really care about her then you only have two options. Remaining friends is impossible.
Just woke up. Thank you for the comments. This is helpful.
In a relationship, what if one likes the other person more? Is it fair? Should people who are dating equally like each other?
