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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>>
What makes a man handsome to you apart from physical characteristics?
>>
>>16759753
Handsome literally refers to someone's physical appearance. Having a handsome personality isn't a thing
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>>16759753
Yeah what the other anon said
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>>16759750
How to one night stand at parties?
Male asking female here
Thanks!
>>
>>16759860
Be hot and confident. There's absolutely no chance if you're ugly and insecure.
>>
What are some good sex tips? Already have good sex and oral (I'm a hetero dude); but want to take it further. Specifically small tips or things a guy does that drives girls crazy..

I know I can ask my gf, but asking looks insecure at times and kills the mood for her, she's very much a "I'm not telling just figure me out" type. I do know she likes me when I am dominant and growling.
>>
>>16759890
By hot do you mean a 7? Or a 6?
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>>16760065
If you are worried about 6 or 7 you already lackimd in hte confidence part...
>>
For reference I'm probably a 7.5 to 8 on a norm hot girl scale, but I'm also very intelligent, kind, funny and charming. I'm well-read, well-dressed, cultured and I know that a lot of people of all sexes think I'm cute and cool, but no one really shows any romantic interest in me. I've had multiple relationships and sexual partners before so I know I'm not entirely unattractive. I'm not into weird shit and I'm not autistic, so what is wrong with me? Why won't anyone approach me?
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>>16760085
Just begin to talk to someone, see where it goes, if it doesnt go well drop it and move on.
Waiting fro someone to approach you isnt your best bet.
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>>16760089
I mostly seem to gain more guy friends when I try to approach men. Of course there's nothing wrong with that, it's just very frustrating. I'm also shy.
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>>16760107
Well try dropping hints, or be flirtatious if you can.
if you are just alking about indifferent topics, maybe they wont see you as a potential partner.
When i recognise that the girl is actually showing signs of interest in me ( and i admit im total shit at recognizing), from that point i handle the situation completely different, either giving her positiv feedback and asking her out if it goes well, or if shes isnt my type, i shut her down as fast as i can. No way will i consider her as a friend from that point, its all or nothing.
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>>16759964
beat her ass she will love it
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>>16760085
If you're as good as you're making yourself out to be, it could be that men are intimidated by you. I had to approach my boyfriend, and he admitted to me later that he had automatically assumed I wouldn't be interested in him.

It could also be that you're boring, or are simply more flawed than you think you are.
>>
How can I be honest with women? I constantly tell them the truth (even when it's embarrassing shit) and never get laid whereas my friend, who purposely says he's playing games to conquer his loved one, is always smiling. I am depressed as shit right now.

Women talk to me because I'm a traveller and travelling nowadays seems to be trendy... However, when they know the truth bout me (I slept in train stations,parks,benches, abandoned buildings, car washes in sketchy Eastern European capitals) they either say they accept me then find a bullshit reason not to answer anymore or stop answering directly. I mean, she tells me she's a friggin misanthrope. I cheer her up telling her how shit can change within a day (she talked to me the day after I was crying while sleeping in an Hungarian car wash. Yes I told her the real story) and she sees the message yet doesn't reply.

Help me out, otherwise I'll spend this whole week getting drunk, smoking weed while I write up on PC my travel stories.

PS: I could get out of this because a girl really likes me, but how can I believe her when she tells me "I'm looking for a clever man" when her Whatsapp profile picture is a bathroom selfie with just her pants and bra on?
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>>16760085
Literally every other thread on this site is guys freaking out about having to approach girls. The others are all about going to tinder or OKcupid or something else. Post a pretty picture to a dating website, its the only way in modern times.
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Question mainly for girls but thinking on it now It's quite a subjective subject.

Basically, how important is your partners sexual performance and if he's lacking would you try and help him?

I'm literally terrible at sex, foreplay the whole lot. Imagine a robot going through a priority list and that's me during sex. I'm not a very sexual person at all, 0 sex drive, barely fap but I've been dating a girl for almost a week now. we haven't slept together however it's painfully obvious she's ready.

To me sex isn't worth worrying about, it's an after thought once you find your perfect partner but I've allowed my mates comments during discussions about this topic to get to me so that's why I'm here asking.
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>>16760113
...is this a joke...? She does watch humiliation porn (girl being basically sex slaves getting gangbanged).

But once I spanked and hit her boob too hard and she was like honey not that much.. So I have difficulty finding the right balance of dominating.
>>
>>16759760
>>16759835

What makes a man handsome to you with physical characteristics then?
>>
>"Do I really have a X Y? Be honest."

Wat do! Do I activate my test neurotransmitters and say the stuff legit 100% honesty or should one start initiating Plan B?
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>>16760178
What the fuck dude speak english
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>>16759750
Related to the OP, rather than making a genderwide question.. Do certain girls like certain looks in a guy? Still generalities but less so.

For example, instead of, do all girls like __ look, I'd rather know, what KIND of girls might like a more hairy, manly man (opposite of skinny jeans hairless boy)? How can I identify women who like that look?
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>>16760178
"Your Y is a little X, but I like it/it looks good because ____."
Mix honesty with flattery.
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>>16760195
Well, subcultures tend to group together. So if you're goth, you're more likely to attract a goth girl, if you're a frat boy you're more likely to attract a sorority girl and so on.
As for more general looks... there's no rule like redheads like blond guys or anything like that. Not everyone even has a type.
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>>16760216
Eh I'm a grown man I haven't thought in terms of goth or sorority whatever in a while kek

Well more specific.. I guess I am what some might call a conservative man, in a non-political sense (but that too). Curious if women who are looking for such a man are identifiable, other than looking in my local church (that seems wrong).

Or is just public hobbies the only way to network with such women?
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Girls, would you be open to date a guy who has depression, or is it a very bad trait?

(and don't tell me something like "if you are truly depressed you don't think of dating" like some people say because that's bs)
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Girls what are some hobbies and interests a guy can have that make him interesting? Or at least that don't make him unattractive (assuming having NO hobbies and interests is also unattractive btw).
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>>16760268

I'm a guy but I'd deffo say travelling. Since I started I had more dates than before, women I met earlier in my life randomly writing to me again ,as well as new ones.
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>>16760283
neat, thanks
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>>16760237
If he was in therapy or doing something to solve his problem, yes. If he wasn't, no.
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>>16760302
thanks, that's weird I thought going to therapy was also something I should deny and lie about (along with the depression)
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>constantly shower my gf with nice compliments, some of them kind of dirty
>she usually just replies with 'haha aww' or 'that's really sweet'

Am I being a bit overbearing? I dunno, I just really like telling her how much I like her..
>>
>>16760169
So you'll just have to find her limits. Talk with her about it. Set up safe words and have fun. Though with this shit you've gotta have good communication so you NEED to talk with her about this and what she likes.

And if she isn't into getting spanked there's so much more you can do with her. To get started you could tie her up.
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>>16760306
I don't expect my partner to be perfect. I'd take things a bit slowly and try to understand how depression influences things, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
Also - I can't stand people who whine about their problems without doing shit to solve them. Knowing that you're brave enough to admit you have a problem and go to therapy to get the help you need would make me think highly of you.
Good luck by the way, I hope you get better soon.
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>>16760329
Thanks!!
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If your gf/bf is busy all week with work/class and you can only see each other on weekends, how do you get through the week if your the partner that's not that busy?

I have a job, I have classes, I have a social life, but on those few days of the week where I just unconditionally miss my girlfriend I become what I guess I'd call "lovesick".

TLDR: how do I fight lovesickness?
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>>16760268
>Travelling
People who travel a lot have a lot of good stories to tell, tend to be more open minded. And I love travelling myself, so it's cool.
>Reading
In my experience, people who love reading tend to be more sensitive and cultured. They also write better texts. They're able to spend time alone and have good stories to tell.
>Cooking
I love the idea of being with someone who can cook for me sometimes. It's sexy.
>Anything traditionally manly and crafty
>Artistic things (photography, writing, drawing, painting, playing music, singing)
As long as you're not the kind of person who brags about their skills all the time if you're not ridiculously good, and they treat it as an hobby and not as a job.


I like in general when a guy talks about his passions or about things he's interested in, even if they're not properly hobbies, as long as he's truly passionate about them. I don't like when a guy is obsessive about something and can't understand when it's time to drop a conversation.
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What goes through your mind when she doesn't reply to your text?

Why would you text to your ex after months? What could possibly make you do that?
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I'm considering telling an ex who started working the same job to give me some space cause I still have feelings for her.

>how beta is this?
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threads dead
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>>16760431
>What goes through your mind when she doesn't reply to your text?
"Thank fuck I don't have to carry out another awkward text conversation."

>Why would you text to your ex after months? What could possibly make you do that?
Booty call or wanting something back.
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>>16760451
just don't talk to her?

>approach ex
>"hey, i need some space."
>"then why the fuck did you just come up to me?"
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>>16760576

She approaches me
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Ladies What makes a good Dom.
What type of things you like to see in a man during sex if you're into this stuff?
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Cant cum anymore during sex. This is since i broke up with my ex(6 month ago) had about 3 difrent girls 2 of them still wanna See me becaus i fucked them good and long. But why would i fuck them when i cant cum and how do i cum again
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>>16760627
Rather broad question. But if i had to choose i'd say a good dom is one that can see the playfull side of sexuality. One that can dominate you whilst still respecting you. Hard to explain.
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>>16760372
You text/call her. If she's not available you make sure you have something to occupy your mind. There's so much. Make music. be creative. Exercise. Make a really elaborated dinner. Declutter your place. Spring clean. Have a netflix marathon. Go to the sauna. Take a class. Read a book. Get a pet. Loads of options
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Girls, would it bother you to date a guy who is bi? I had mostly male partners until now but I'm attracted to all kinds of people, I just want to know if it would be "weird" for a woman. Also, do you say that at the very beginning or just whenever it comes up?
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>>16760237
No. I've been there before and after the honeymoon stage the slumps of depression slowly start to take over.

If they were getting help for it and trying to work with it I would maybe consider it.

The push and pull of being with somebody that has depression is tiresome

>>16760627
Respects boundaries and hard limits. Can openly talk about kinks and is confident enough to take the reigns without being a tyrant.

>>16760720
I think it might bother a good portion of women but it wouldn't bother me.
Bringing it up early might save some time wasted on somebody that is really uncomfortable with it
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>>16760740
>I think it might bother a good portion of women but it wouldn't bother me.
Thought as much, it's weird to hear women talk sometimes, a good friend of my sister started talking about how being gay is "unnatural and weird" the other day, she's a really nice girl, not religious either, but I guess some people just take issue with it.
>Bringing it up early might save some time wasted on somebody that is really uncomfortable with it
That's what I thought, it still takes some courage to come out with something like that early, but I suppose it's better than half-starting a relationship and then breaking up because of it.
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>Nice guys get friend zoned
>even my mother did this just a few days ago

Is becoming Chad worse or should I become a hybrid made ofa nice guy, Chad, beta male and alpha male?
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>>16760770
Nice Guysâ„¢ get friendzoned. Nice guys may get friendzoned, they may not.
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Are women into texting about nonsense?
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>>16760770
"Friendzoned" literally just means that someone isn't interested in you. That has always happened and can always happen, learn to deal with it. It has only become a thing recently because teenagers can't deal with it and now express themselves over the internet, if you're an adult and unironically use the term "friend zoned" then I know exactly why it happened to you.
>>
What do you girls like more; dominating or being dominated?
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This entire thread might as well not exist because every single question should be answered with "It's subjective."

Dumb questions like
>>16760787
IT'S
FUCKING
SUBJECTIVE
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>>16760794
Wow, I can smell the autism through the screen, this is incredible!
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girls of the redhead variety, just where the fuck do you actually hang out?
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>>16760828
From my experience, most redheads are crazy, both the natural and the dyed kind
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>>16760794
Honestly, you're right. I answered my own question (>>16760778) before posting it. And thought to myself that it was stupid. But posted it anyway.
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>>16760153
As a girl with a high sex drive, it's pretty important. If I genuinely care for the guy then I'll give him plenty of opportunities to figure out what he's doing and get better at it. It's really awkward having to flat out tell someone "don't do that, do this", but I've definitely dropped tips and stuff in the past. If a guy hasn't bothered in his lifetime to do some basic googling and read up on vaginas then I probably won't think too highly of him.
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>>16760783
baka it also means that women take advantage of men's own naiveté in order to get what they want out of them. Even my female friends have admitted to doing this before m8, I know guys who have "dated" girls for months with sex etc. and halfway through they're told that she's getting back together with Chad and good luck with everything and hopes they can still be friends etc.

THAT'S what a friendzone looks like, you're expendable to a cunt
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>>16760720
Not at all
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>>16760956
I don't know what that is, but that's definitely not friendzoning. That's a whole different thing.
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>>16760834
>aposematism
Nature finds a way to warn others from poisonous species
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Girls

I think my girlfriend looks more pretty without any makeup on and with her huge granny frame glasses on rather than contact lenses.

I mean if she wants to go dress up a bit that's fine but honestly I want that more natural look with the nerdy glasses more often, it just appeals to me way more for some reason.
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>>16760956
This: >>16761102
That's just a manipulative cunt doing her thing, don't be silly. "Friend zoning" is literally just "I'm not interested but we can be friends if you want to". Which you have to deal with because you're an adult for god's sake.
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>>16760787
As a general rule, being dominated.

If she is very dominating in public, I'd expect her to be submissive in bed, well, at least once you've broke her guard, that sort of woman wants you to be very dominant, she acts dominating only so that the most aggressive males will accept the challenge. Those women typically tire of being bossy and really can't want to get taken in bed by a man.
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>>16761131
And is there a reason you're telling this to us instead of her?
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Is it a man's job to pamper a woman on a date? I thought it was a mutual meeting.

I invited a lady to my house last night. I was cooking dinner for us and asked her if she could grab two plates (my plates are stored in my kitchen table, it has a little alcove for storage), and she whined saying I'm supposed to woo her and do everything on my own.

I told her to leave.
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>>16761248
I think you're in the right. If she's going to get prissy about something minor as getting plates, she'd be far worse down the line.

If you cook, I'd see if I could help with anything or wash the dishes afterwards. You're not a servant.
>>
If your s/o makes you angry, is it acceptable to not speak to them for the rest of the day (via text)?
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>>16761248
>I told her to leave.
Good call if you ask me. A girl who is bitching on the first (?) date because of something like that is probably not worth keeping around. The fact that you cooked is already charming, getting 2 plates for you two is no big deal, at all.
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>>16760174
If he looks mature, masculine, clean, put-together, good facial-features, ect.
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>>16761248
>she whined saying I'm supposed to woo her and do everything on my own.
Well at least she made it REALLY obvious why she's still single. What a joke.
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>>16761266
I don't know if I'd say that it's acceptable, but it's way better to blow off some steam for a day and not speak to the person than to force yourself to speak with them and just be an asshole.
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My girlfriend hit me last night. She threw a pan at me out of anger. I remained calm and told her to get out of my home, and she did.

Is this something I should forgive? We've been together for four years and she was angry I paid off my mother's mortgage ($35,000). Our finances are separate, we don't generally consult each other with monetary things since we're both relatively well off (her $82,000/yr, me $105,000/yr).
>>
>>16761295
Sure. It's not like she permanently disfigured you or something. When you feel it's appropriate, you can forgive her for being too weak to suppress her violent tendencies.

But you should never forget what she did, nor ever make the mistake of associating with her again. She's earned pity from you but absolutely nothing else, neither contact nor attention.
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>>16760787
Girls in general are more submissive than guys and are attracted to dominance in general.
>>
Question for both sexes

Did you ever decide to stay friends with someone who rejected you? How long did y'all stay friends?
>>
>>16761295
Don't forgive her. If she manages anger so poorly, she's not worth it.

Also, she has no reason to be mad at you if you want to help your mother with your own money. It's not like you spent $35k in bullshit.
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>>16761266
If you need time to sort out your emotions, that's perfectly fine and a smart thing to do. If you're purposely giving them the silent treatment to be vindictive, that's very bad and you shouldn't do that.
>>
>>16761283
Basically my current predicament, just wanted to gauge my pettiness. It's a lot harder to do than it actually seems anyways.
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>>16761295
Why is she mad at you for helping out your mother with your own money?
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>>16761311
No, it's entirely so we won't argue due to current emotions but somehow I feel guilty for doing it which is why I asked
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>>16761266
If it's time you need to calm down so you'll be ready to talk about what made you angry calmly, yes but state it clearly.
If it's silent treatment, no.
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>>16761318
I think it's important to make it clear. Tell them that's what you're doing and you need some time to yourself.
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>>16761305
Yes, but it was a terrible idea. I'm proud that I never made her feel it or blamed her in the end, but I felt like shit the entire time. Had to cut off contact for my own good in the end after 2 years or so.
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Girls

I'm sad right now. Girl who I've been talking to for 3.5 months every single day is acting weird today. Normally we have really fun conversations and flirt a lot. But last night she was upset about something, and today she isn't being talkative like normal and when I asked if everything was ok she said "Yes. I am fine. I could ask you the same question haha". so I tried to bring up a light conversation and now she just texted "fuck". And stopped responding. I don't know what happened I feel bad. I care about her, but I feel like today I'm being shut out.
>>
A chick friend of a few years deleted me despite saying they wouldn't yesterday. It's better to act like you don't even care instead of sending a message, yea?
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>>16761332
To add onto this, I already told em if they deleted me yet again they couldn't come crawling back to me as I wouldn't ever acknowledge them again. Part of me wants to write a message saying fuck ya but I'm thinking that'd make me an idiot since I said what I said.
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>>16761182
Yeah, women getting mad over such comments is practically unheard of, right?
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>>16761325

Yeah, that's how I feel right now. I let her know that I can't keep going on like this and now she's crying.
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>>16761339
Just ignore them in that case. I assume you don't care anymore? Just move on with your life and that's it. Based on the limited knowledge you've given us, of course.
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>>16761295
Do not take her back unless she takes anger management classes or sees a therapist. What you did was a good thing. You could afford to do something nice for your mother and you did. She reacted in an extremely unreasonable manner. If she doesn't get help now, next time she gets mad she could react in a much worse way. I guess what I'm saying is, are you okay with possibly getting murdered by her one day?
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>>16761347
Just do it, there's no point in trying to please her or enrich her life "from the sidelines" when you're actually hurting yourself in the process. I know it sounds really romantic and you want to do it, but you have your own life to lead. Just tell her that you have to do that for yourself, because otherwise you just won't feel happy or at ease again. She has to understand at that point.
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>>16761350
I sorta care but I think I shouldn't. They always delete me just cause I disagree on stuff instead of just agreeing with em. I dunno, it's probably healthy to not be friends with somebody like that.
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>>16761295
If this was a new relationship I'd say yes, but you've been with her for four years. Has she ever displayed this behavior before, or is this a new thing?
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>>16761364

You're absolutely right. Thanks anon. Everything just hurts right now. Fuck.
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>>16761295
Break up with her

That's abusive behavior and if she can't talk to you like a fucking adult instead of trying to hurt you then you're way better off.


If the genders were reversed there'd be less responses telling you to forgive.
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Just asked a girl out for a second time last night.

I know she's seen the message. She hasn't responded yet.

I just let it rock, right? Just let it sit forever until she responds?
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>>16761377
Definitely sounds like it. If you want to make a strong statement and not crawl back to them anymore then ignoring them is the better option, by a long shot.
>>
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>>16761396
Thanks anon. Our years together were just clouding my judgement.
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>>16761395

what happened the first time. And how long have you known her?

Correct, do not message her again
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>>16761392
I wish I would have realized that sooner, hopefully you'll be able to recover quicker as a result. It sucks, it really does, but you absolutely have to prioritize your own health and well being over hers in that situation, 100%, even if it sounds harsh.
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>>16761407
Uh, a few months. She asked me out once, it went great. I asked her out once, it went great.
Every once in a while I'll say something that gets no response so I'm not super concerned she isn't responding immediately, but...I'm a little concerned, at least.
>>
Why are women so mean to dicklets.
Like I hear women talking about how some guy has a small penis all the time and its so low.
>>
>>16761437

Well I know that feel. I'm this guy and I'm concerned right now too>>16761331
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Where do I find a girl that just wants to anime and cuddle? N-no l-l-lewd things just yet, I'm too nervous for that.
>>
How awkward is dating a coworker?
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>>16761509
Pretty awkward, especially if you have to hide it.
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>>16761506

If you go to Tokyo you can pay for just that. A girl to hug and cuddle with and watch Anime.
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>>16761519
But Tokyo is far away, and they don't like Gaijin like me.
>>
How much does an insecure guy turn you away? As in insecure about you being with him/liking him etc. Insecure about the relationship essentially.
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>>16761525
If you're paying them they like you. Or at least they'll pretend to like you.
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>>16761532
Many clubs in Tokyo literally have a sign on the door that reads "please no foreigners", especially bath houses and hostess clubs. That shit is for the lonely Japanese, not for tourists.
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>>16761473
I think its low too.
I don't understand it, especially after a break up. Makes the woman look really salty. Obviously his dick was fine until he dumped you.

>>16761530
It gets really old really fast. I like to spoil the person I'm with and if they're still insecure about it, I consider it a lost cause. I hate having to constantly reassure somebody if I'm going the extra like to show them I care.

Everybody is a little insecure, myself included, but if I have to jump through hoops to keep my partner from overthinking every little thing I'm going to just give up and move on.
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>>16761560
>like to spoil the person I'm with
I'm not getting that.
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Guys,

I asked my boyfriend if I could hold off on your birthday/valentine's day gift and, in turn, buy him an expensive one. He was cool with it.

He mentioned wanting a bass guitar for a couple of months so I went with that. Today, I happened to have enough and time to buy one. This was somewhat ahead of schedule, but now I don't need to worry about the rest of this month. I left it at his house and went home to study.

He just called me and sounded scared or sad. I'm kindof confused. He wanted a bass and I told him I was getting him an expensive gift. He doesn't like owing people things (but he doesn't have to pay me back) and he gets a mini heart attack when I bust into his room unannounced (so I left it there).

I usually don't like being there when giving gifts. Most people overly thank me and I feel awkward. This was an opposite response. He thanked me, but questioned my methods of delivery and just didn't seem happy.

Did I do something?
>>
>>16761567
That's great, but she was talking about herself because you asked a question that required personal responses.
>>
>>16761567
You should.

Accept nothing less. You're worth it.
>>
What is the general consensus with women on men shaving genital public hair?
>>
>>16761584
Maybe he wanted to thank you in person and was a bit lost there.
Or, maybe he had a specific bass in mind and you bought something that doesn't actually fit his needs but now he feels trapped because it was expensive and it would be really rude to tell you that it's the "wrong" one.
>>
>>16761584
The randomness of it, your method of delivery, and the price could all be potential issues.

If you guys are in a relationship already why don't you talk to him about it?

I'd be confused to get such a big gift on a random day, and upset to have it left somewhere like a bag of groceries.
>>
>>16761600
I prefer trimmed, shaved is fine too if that's what you want to do.

>>16761584
Not a guy but you should talk to him in person about it and voice your concerns.
>>
>>16761584
No you didn't. That is in fact the problem. Try to communicate, or at least leave an overly long rambling note about how he hung the moon in the sky.
>>
>>16761600
I prefer trimmed personally, but I've heard plenty of girls say they like shaved.
>>
>>16761584
Also, the fact that you don't think he needs to Pay you back has zero impact on whether he thinks he needs to pay you back.

Not that he should feel one way or the other, but if you know gift giving is an uncomfortable thing for him for that reason it could easily explain his discomfort.
>>
>>16759964
if your partner isn't willing to communicate with you to better suit their pleasure, you're dating a child.
>>16760085
overinflated sense of self-worth
>>16760431
>aight, guess we're not talking
>nothing and nothing
>>16760770
"nice guy" is an act that tries to lure women into sleeping with a guy under the pretext of wanting friendship. "chad" is getting it because he's honest about his intentions
>>16761305
no because i can't separate the romantic and platonic feelings
>>16761509
very, especially if you break up or if HR finds out
>>16761584
good idea, bad delivery
>>
So how big of a deal is it to not want to have sexy time with your gf if she doesnt shave down there.
Like she wont kiss me if I grow out my beard.
>>
>>16761645
that's super gay
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>>16761654
So she's gay if she doesnt let me grow my beard out?
>>
>>16761645
You both sound a bit silly desu
>>
Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm seeing him tonight so I will just ask him if he likes the gift or if I should take it back.

>>16761645
I wouldn't be offended if my guy doesn't want to lick a jungle, unless I licked his. To avoid all sexual acts with her because of it is stupid though.

>>16761662
Maybe

>>16761600
Depends on the person. I like a nice trim.

>>16761602
I can see what you are saying about being lost. I did 'warn' him that I was going to be getting him a gift, I don't believe it warrants such a response.

>but now he feels trapped
I hope he doesn't. I'm going to double check with him. We can return it within three days and get store credit.

>>16761604
>>16761606
I will talk to him later on, we are hanging out. His response seemed dazed, but I didn't want to question it there. I felt that would have been rude. Saying "What you don't like it?" or something.

>>16761609
I believe buying him a bass is doing something. I asked him questions about the bass, compared prices, and saved up. I believe those efforts are doing something.

>overly long rambling note
I should have done this. Left him a note saying "I love you." or some poetic bullshit.
I thought being spontaneous and having him come out of his bedroom (after doing class work) to find an instrument, he has desired, to be sentimental.

>>16761622
I see what you are saying. Receiving gifts can make him feel uncomfortable. He asked about if he was getting a gift a week ago so I don't know if that is the case this time.

>>16761626
I agree. I get autistic when it comes to gift giving. I usually leave the room by "going to the bathroom" really any somewhat sane excuse like "checking the pasta"
I like "thank you"s, but some people go overboard.
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>>16761584
You didn't do enough, what do you mean when you say you don't like to be around when you give people gifts? Get over yourself and be there for the person who loves you because it feels like you're alienating him when you do that shit
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>>16761668
Definitely talk to him and see if it's the right bass for him, I don't known what you got him or how knowledgeable you are in terms of music instruments, but there are huge differences between 2 Basses that could look the exact same to someone who doesn't know anything about them.
>>
>>16761663
Im just not attracted to the bush. In fact its a turnoff. Shes really attractive otherwise.
>>
>>16761305
Yes. I usually just distance the friendship for a couple of months and start talking to them again.

I'm still friends with them. I'm closer to the ones I have rejected though, probably a fucked up dominance thing.

>>16761672
>Get over yourself
I don't really think this is something stuck up. Feeling awkward after giving gifts isn't a stuck up emotion - it's more of a panic.

>>16761678
I play a couple of instruments. I do think I got him the right type. I'm more focused on his response and my bad delivery.

>>16761688
Make a compromise to shave when she does.
>>
>>16761723
Wrong thread?
>>
>>16761731
Yeah, 4chan X seems to be broken, and I clicked on the wrong tabafter I disabled the QR in the settings and checked the GitHub page.
>>
Is it gay if i suck another mans dick?
>>
Women and gay/bisexual men: I went to the doctor today and it turns out that I have 3 benign cysts on my penis that my insurance probably won't pay to remove.

Should I save up the money to remove them when I can? They're each about the size of a pea and they're under my skin.

If it's not a major turnoff to most people I'd rather not get goddamn penis surgery.
>>
I feel like a dumb teenager right now, despite being almost 30.

Anyway, I'm a photographer, and I worked with this group of girls on Saturday night. I usually don't get personally involved with people I work with, but I clicked really really well with one of them, and it absolutely made the shoot for me. I hung out with this girl and her roommate for close to an hour after the shoot, we all seemed to really enjoy talking, and they seemed sad to go when they left. The girl I liked kept hugging me (and not weird guy obligation standoffish hugs, her makeup is still on my coat), and they had my contact into and seemed really excited to add me on FB when they got home.

It's been a few days now and there's been no requests, and I'm really wondering if I totally fucked something up. She's obviously a somewhat shy type, and maybe she's just been busy, but I've kind of had butterflies worrying about it for the last few days.

She happened to pop up in my friend recommendations about an hour ago and I sent her a request, did I fuck up by doing that?

Like I say, I feel like such a dork for worrying this much. The whole thing has just come as a surprise, I'm 2.5 years out of an LTR and this is the first time I've met somebody and had that immediate "this is my future girlfriend" reaction since I met my ex.
>>
>>16761746
Definitely get them removed. If I saw that my first thought would be oh shit this guy has an STD.
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>>16761749
>She happened to pop up in my friend recommendations about an hour ago and I sent her a request, did I fuck up by doing that?

It's a mans job to approach.

Women send signals and then men are suppost to act on it.

She sent you good signals and you added her on fb.

Bang end of story. If she doesn't accept it you did nothing wrong. Stop stressing about it you're 30 years old goddamn
>>
>>16761745
I don't think you know the meaning of gay.
>>
>>16761761
Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better.

I know it's stupid, I'm just really new to this whole adult dating thing. I met a girl when we were quite young, we fell head over heels for each other, and I spent most of my 20s with her, and then another year or so with a broken heart. This is the first time since then that I've run into a situation where there's that perfect storm of obvious chemistry, common interests, and compatible life situations, and it's kind of knocked me off my feet.
>>
My bf has difficulty getting hard, and he says it's due to diabetes, but I feel it may be because he's not attracted to me; even with meds like cialis, he has trouble keeping it up, and he usually ends sex early claiming his penis is getting sensitive. On top of that, he has an extraordinarily low libido, and he never initiates.

Is he just not attracted to me? Why do I have to fight so hard for a little bit of sex?

Guys, if you weren't attracted to your gf, would you be displaying similar 'symptoms'? Is there any way to know what's going on, or do I just take his word for it that it's entirely to do with medical stuff?

I'm really stressed out and I'm desperate for sex tonight, but I know it won't happen.
>>
What would you do if your boyfriend confessed his attraction to children to you?
>>
>>16761745
If you are attracted to him and aren't attracted to a women
>>
>>16761767
>>16761788
Don't engage shitposters.
>>
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This is probably cringey but whatever. This is probably a question for guys and girls.

See, I hate girls. That's not what this is about though. Basically, I treat them the same as anyone else and you'd never know it by talking to me. I've learned to hide it really well and to most people I'm pretty normal. If I have to work with a girl or one of them decides they want something from me, I can talk to them just fine and everything will go smoothly. That being said, when somebody asks why I don't hang out with girls, I need a better answer than "I dunno I just don't." What are some decent excuses /adv/? It's been a while since anybody has asked me something like that but I want to have a better answer, you know?
>>
>>16761791
You're right, that is cringey
>>
>>16761784
Yeah he's probably not into you. How old is he/you?
>>
>>16761749
If someone pops up in your friend recommendations, and they have no friends in common with you, it's because they were checking your profile out. Do you have any friends in common with her? If she's shy, but popping up in your friend recommendations, she may just be nervous about adding you. I think you're ok m8.
>>
>>16761796
Yeah I figured. Seriously though what is something I should say in that situation? Nobody has said anything like that to me in literally years, but I can't help but shake the feeling that it will be brought up somehow one day
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>>16761787
I would encourage him to see a psychiatrist
I don't know if I could stay with him though
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>>16761804
Why not tell the truth?
"I'm a misogynist"
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>>16761784
never had an issue getting hard with girls i liked, but i've also never had diabetes either. could be a self-fulfilling prophecy where he has a low libido because he can't get it up. either that or sex is a stressful thing, you're unattractive to him, or he just doesn't want sex
>>
>>16761803
We have two in common I think.
>>
>>16761791
you might be gay
>>
>>16761845
lol is this serious

If I do that everyone will hate me, it will be hard as shit to work anywhere with anyone, and people will actively try to make my life harder. Right now I'm accepted and treated well by most people and I want to keep it that way.
>>
>>16761791
Tell them not to ask questions about your personal life.

>>16761746
I wouldn't believe you if you said you didn't have a STD, so yeah, you should probably get them removed when you can.

>>16761645
Fair to not want to lick the pussy, pretty gay to not be willing to fuck at all.

>>16761600
Don't shave. Men should be hairy.
>>
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>>16761874
Yeah I guess that could work. It would just be weird to me since I (seem like) a very open person

>>16761858
Wow you're right

How have I gone this long without knowing
>>
>>16761890
People aren't entitled to know about your personal life, and you declining to give that information does not make you an asshole. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to.
>>
>>16761645
i could see no oral if it's a jungle. not wanting your partner to have hair is your preference: some might view it as shallow though
>>
What do girls mean by "confident"
>>
>>16761912
con·fi·dent
ˈkänfədənt/
adjective
adjective: confident

1.
feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured.
"she was a confident, outgoing girl"
synonyms: self-assured, assured, self-confident, positive, assertive, self-possessed, self-reliant, poised; coolheaded, phlegmatic, levelheaded, unperturbed, imperturbable, unruffled, at ease;
informaltogether, can-do
"a confident young man"
>>
Question for the girls

Why is it when you break up with a guy, you almost always come back?

Every girl that has broken up with me has always came back. And all of them wanted more than just a booty call.

It was always the same thing. I made a terrible mistake, you're a great guy, please give me another chance etc.

And I'm not saying I'm anything special. But I have a lot of guys who have always had the same experience. Girl dumps them. Comes back and asks for another chance.

One of the girls that dumped even came back after 4 years.

WTF girls?
>>
>>16761749
Your job to approach so good job on adding her although a bit late. She expects you to be a man so take charge. Talk to her, make dates etc.
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>>16761645
Guy here. I pretty much agree with the other replies, I get not wanting to go down on her if she doesn't shave, but not wanting to have sex with her at all is silly.

I strongly prefer girls shaved too, but it's not essential. I had an ex who almost never shaved, and used to complain about me not going down on her, despite the fact that on the rare occasions that she was hairless she couldn't stop me from burying my face down there and going to town.
>>
>>16760451

No other opinions? Damn
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>>16761955
Guy here. Question for you: how is your general attitude while with these girls? And when they break up with you, how do you react?
>>
What's a good way to meet girls?

I'm 26 years old. I've been out of school for a while, so that rules out the most common location to meet girls.

I'm not really the clubbing type. Even then, you would most likely discourage trying to find a relationship from a night club.

The main reason I go outside is to work. There are no single women where I work. I am open to the idea of meeting friends/relatives of my coworkers, as it's not uncommon to meet people that way.

An option that is available, but far from ideal, is meeting people online. Websites like OKcupid, POF, and Tinder were practically made for people like me. However, those kinds of websites don't exactly have the best reputation. A lot of people regard them as a last resort.

So I don't go to school, night clubs are trash, work is a sausagefest, and using the internet is weird. What other options do I have?
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>>16761798
27/27, been together for two years.

>>16761846
Maybe that's the cause of the low libido.... I know it'd suck to have a nonfunctioning penis as a guy, and it would discourage me from having sex. That makes sense...

And maybe the erection issues even with the pills is because his penis is legit broken at this point from the diabeetus.

Thanks Anon
>>
>>16761784
Femanon, I feel for you.

My boyfriend takes adhd pills which lowers his libido. On top of that, he gets stressed easily.

I hope you can get talk this through and figure this out or find another guy.
>>
I know I'm completely autistic for asking this, but where do girls find other girls to be friends with? How do you become friends? I have no clue.
>>
>>16761997
Oh and I forgot to mention that he never finishes with me either. It's like I have to be in a different room. Just makes me feel even more like he's unattracted to me.
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How many times should you try to reschedule a first date?

Shit keeps coming up for the both of us, but I feel like its starting to get annoying.
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>>16761987
I've been pretty good to them, hence the reason I think they come back.

How do I react? Well, it hurts obviously and I try not to show it. But I dont beg.
>>
>>16761995
Spend every free moment of your time outside your home doing something. Outdoors is best. Physical activity of any sort is good, especially stuff like team sports or games but stuff like yoga classes work as well. Creative endeavors are often less structured but are also likely to let you cross paths with women. The key is just exposure. Outside of work/school, they spend something like two-thirds of their time inside their home or at the homes of friends and family. Two-thirds of the time you simply cannot meet them no matter what you do. So you have to make the most of that little sliver by being out where they are. Then talk to them. Talk about the stuff you're up to.
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>>16762015
I say third time is the charm, unless they express a want for the fourth.

Whether its bad timing or they can't reject me, whether its a friend or love interest - I stop trying at the third time.
>>
>>16761979
Cool, thanks. I would have added her earlier, actually, but only knew her first name and she didn't come up when I searched for her.

Since I'm so shitty at this whole thing, maybe you guys can help with some more advice? How quickly should I ask her out? Is it crazy of me to pretty much immediately just say "can I take you out to dinner?" once she adds me back?
>>
>Typical woman dealbreakers:
- he's short
- he's unemployed
- he lives with his parents
- he doesn't drive

Of those four, which is the worst?

>6'0"
>own my own company
>have my own apartment
>don't drive

Am I fucked?
>>
So I want to ask this chick out, here's the situation:
She is outgoing and hangs out with her friends a lot and is practically inseparable from her BFF, she also hangs with a few guys too, but at first glance it just seems to be platonic with each of em. I can never seem to find her alone, and I never been in a relationship before so I have no experience about this. I have this reputation of being a sorta dopey but funny guy and she really likes my stupid jokes. She talks about me sometimes in not a negative way. I do not have her number.

Now that you have the context of the current relationship with her, how do I get her number without putting her on the spot with her friends?And once that is accomplished, how do I ask her out?

Thanks in advance.
>>
>>16762008
I usually found this hard. I say join a club, visit a museum/public entertainment place, and bars.

I found a few good ones at my school and becoming friends with their friends.
>>
>>16762021
I see.
>>
>>16762067
and what are your thoughts?
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>>16762049
For me, its living with the parents. Every time I see him I would have to be polite to his parents and proper.

I want to fuck my boyfriend loudly. Sometimes get drunk with him and curse. I don't to have parents around constantly.

You aren't fucked.

>>16762057
-Wait until Jenny goes to the bathroom
-Get the girl on the other side of the room.
-Ask them for both of the girls' phone number.
-Maybe invite her to a place through facebook and ask for her number.
>>
>>16762049
I'm not a girl, but in my experience, it's either not driving or being unemployed.

If you live in a city where a car isn't necessary (NYC, SF, Tokyo, London, etc.) it's irrelevant.

Being unemployed is usually the big one, but rather than being about money, it's about avoiding a guy who isn't doing anything about his future. A guy who's in school, for example, is generally fine, as is a guy who's self-employed in some kind of business that isn't a total pipedream.
>>
>>16762026
Flow. Be natural. Do what you feel is right and don't overthink.

>>16762071
I should be more like you. Those are my thoughts. Girls like and appreciate and strong confident man especially when they treat them right. And if they show they're not needy when they are done wrong and continue with their lives, they realize what they had later on and want it again because it's the best they've ever had.
>>
>>16762074
Jenny girl here: I know when there is a point where I could pull her aside in private and ask her in private, how do I do it without being a creep?
>>
>>16762085
Thanks man, but Im not that strong lol. I mean I have with all my ex's but one. The last one i fell in love with and she left me, it destroyed me.

Now I never begged her, but I did rage at her because I felt so betrayed because we had started making family plans and everything. I didn't scream or beg but I just kept saying how could you do me this way? Looking back, I wish I would have just let her walk without saying a word.

But after I got it out of my system, I let go and just cried to myself every day without contacting her. She eventually came back too but it was short lived.

And she told me the same thing. She made a huge mistake, I treat her great, make her feel special and loved, and she loves me and still wanted family etc.

I just dont know why when a girl commits to me, she doesnt stay. Then tries to come back. I guess most of them wanted to cheat and come back
>>
>>16759750
to anyone

I'm a city kid that just transferred from a CC to a state uni downstate in some hick small town.
Grades and academics aren't an issue, I'm just kind of lonely right now. I want to make a connection with a girl but it's hard to relate with a lot of these girls here.
Instantly, I found a really awesome friend group to hang out with on the weekends (thanks to one of my old friends also attending this school), which I can't stress enough is one of the best things that's so far this semester. Everyone in it is cool as fuck too, I feel super lucky as far as that goes.
One of the girls in my new friend group, I found myself attracted to right off the bat, and I have a way with socializing with women I find the very attractive. Usually, I try and flirt with them the least out of all of their friends, and it seems to work a lot, prompting them to want my attention even more, and that's what happened with this girl. Before anyone calls me an asshole for doing this, it's a very effective method for both guys and girls that's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
I paid more attention to the other girls in the group, and it seems like she definitely started getting closer with me more often, at a party for instance. So over the past week I've been thinking that maybe it's time to make a move with her because I feel like I at least have a thing for her, and maybe she'll be interested if I was just honest, (as far as honesty/feelings go, I really just speak how I really feel).
Then I found out she has a boyfriend. It's worth noting she never brings her boyfriend around or ever talks about him, like ever, which all of the people in this friend group find really strange. I am OK with just dropping this attraction, because I'm not THAT beta, and I know chemistry (and love) is mutual, but I just wanted to see what someone thinks about this.
Should I just abort, or keep flirting low key and possibly open up if I detect mutual feelings down the road?
>>
>>16762095
1. Perhaps gently grab her arm towards an area.
2. Maybe you can clearly say "I have a quick question to ask, but I'm a little shy. Can we walk over here?"
3. If you are friends with her just dance her over to the other side

You shouldn't be so intimidated by Jenny. She is just her friend. If Jenny isn't autistic/mean she won't embarrass you in front of her friend. She might giggle with her later, but you shouldn't care.
>>
>>16762112
By Jenny I thought you meant the crush. I know when the crush can be pulled aside.

Also its high school too, no parties. It's during drama club.
>>
>>16762146
Straight up ask her in front of her friends during a drama club break. It's not a date. Just a number.

Fortunate favors the bold.
>>
>>16759750
Girls or people in general, what topics are guaranteed to be great to talk to girls?
>>
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I'm pretty sure the girl I like has a crush for another classmate because today in class they didn't stop chatting for a single second and would pictures of each other.

Do I still have a chance with her?
>>
>>16762172
ask them about themselves
girls love to talk about themselves, their problems, their everything. talk about yourself as little as possible.
>>
>>16762201
You never made a move, so you never had a chance.
>>
>>16762205
She sits in front of me in class so we would chat and stuff.

Though I don't know how to make a move so idk
>>
>>16762221
You try to become a positive aspect of her life while inviting her to share in yours.
>>
>>16762102
Well, either the girls weren't looking for anything serious or you were in fact doing something wrong. Seems like the former though.
>>
>>16762049
>he's short
I'm short, so anything taller than me is fine. Shorter than me would be a literal midget, and I don't know if I could deal with that.
>he's unemployed
This is a problem, but is overlooked in very select circumstances.
>he lives with his parents
Only a problem if he's white.
>he doesn't drive
Only a problem if he lives somewhere that needs a car to get around.

So I guess the worst of those is unemployed.

You're probably fine unless you live in nowhereland.

>>16762057
I appreciate the confidence of men that can ask chicks out when their friends are around. I don't think it's a bad thing to ask her while her friends are there.

>>16762111
Abort.

>>16762172
This >>16762204

>>16762201
Ask her out. What's so hard about this?
>>
>>16762265
She lives by herself on weekdays and goes to her parents' house on the weekends. And since I end classes kinda late, I'm often too tired to ask her out on weekdays and she's at her house on weekdays.
>>
>>16762273
If it matters enough to you, you'll find a way. If you want to make excuses, stop bitching.
>>
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>>16762265
>Only a problem if he's white.
>>
>>16762261
I mean no one is perfect and I'm sure I dont something wrong at one time or another but i've never been broke up for over something i have did.

it's always the girl saying it's them.

then sometime down the road they come back saying they made a mistake and did me wrong.

that part is gratifying but it's not what i want.
>>
>>16762279
Eh, you're right. I'm just not used to going out with friends on weekdays. Going to ask her out on Thursday once I'm done with my tests if she wants to hang out or something. Thanks anon! ...Btw, any suggestion on what to do?
>>
>>16762281
It's a culture thing. The expectation for whites is that they move out and become independent. Asians typically are expected to take care of their parents as the parents age. Other cultures have different expectations. That being said, if the guy is non-white but extremely Americanized, it's a problem to live at home.
>>
>>16762286
>it's always the girl saying it's them.
Yep they're just children. You need to find a woman that wants a future with you, if that's what you're looking for.

I've a question: the women you've dated, have they told you they want a future with you? As in marriage, assuming that's what you're looking for?
>>
>>16762290
Something low-pressure. Coffee/tea is pretty safe. Think about if she's mentioned anything she likes to do and try to do something along those lines.
>>
>>16762265
>he lives with his parents
>Only a problem if he's white.

Ouch. What about in a big city where rent is ridiculous, or if the parents are old enough to need the help? I'm 29 and moved back in with my parents, who are in their 70s, after getting out of my last relationship. I get to live in a private apartment-style guestroom with a separate entrance, in an incredible historic house, in an area where rent on a shitty 1BD would be $2000+, and they need help taking care of the place.
>>
>>16762296
2 of them did. Actually the one I was head over heels for had been talking marriage and kids and she bailed for stupid reasons.

The other said she wanted to be with me, but she was cheating and left me for another guy. Then she tried for the next 4 years to contact me which i promptly ignored until they broke up.

the other 2 girls I dated. One i dont really count cause we only dated a few months so there was no major plans. The other was in high school so I dont really count them.

The only thing is they both came back and said I treated them good and were stupid for ending it.

Am I just too serious? Because I want a family and they're not ready? Or am I just a piece of dick for awhile?
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>>16762328
>big city where rent is ridiculous
Fair. I don't live in that kind of area, so it's not applicable to my dating pool, but I figure girls are more forgiving about that kind of thing in those places.

>if the parents are old enough to need the help
As long as you can still find time for your relationship, it's fine. If your parents health is declining to the point where they would need constant care, I don't think I could date someone that would be a sole caretaker.
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>>16761509
Not nearly as awkward is when you break up and still have to be around each other. Don't do it.

>>16761784
Cocks are fickle, man. IDK, if he wasn't attracted he wouldn't be with you, right?
>>
I'm 30 (and a wizard). The woman I'm interested in is at least 30, if not a bit older.

Do I really have to play games? Can I just say "I want to see if we can build a real relationship?"
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>>16762346
Yeah, I have plenty of time, actually. Their health is actually pretty OK, they just have a big old house that needs a lot of maintenance and they're too old to do it themselves. (And worse, they try to do it when I'm not around.)
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>>16762338
>she bailed for stupid reasons.
What were they?

No you're not. You're just not dating the right people. That kind of plan is something you typically hint at before you start dating because if you two don't have the same vision/end goal, you won't even start dating. No hurt feelings. It won't work out if a couple doesn't have the same vision in mind.
>>
I feel like this girl only talks to me because I hit her up first. Her friend told me she thought I was cute but I think that doesn't mean shit. She said she'd be down to get dinner with me "soon" (I asked her to go on friday but she's tutoring "probably"). What do I say and do to not seem like a clingy beta if she can't go Friday?
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>>16762401
Wait for her response.
If she says "Sorry I'm busy" she probably isn't into you. If she says "I'm busy Friday but free [other time]" make plans
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>>16762401
Stop being a melodramatic baguette. If she told your friend she thought you were cute, she's quite interested in you. I mean, why would she tell your friend that and not, say, her best friends or something? If she can't go on Friday, ask for another day, like Saturday or next week.
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>>16762375
Family didn't like me. Again, I'm not a bad guy lol. But just think uh....very...close minded super religious family....like not dating outside of the church type people. Like very fanatical. And she didnt meet me at that church....and it was just ah....a mess.

She left....then came back because she said she still wanted a family with me. that she loved me too much and I was too good to her. Said she was going to tell her family they would have to accept it. Of course they told her to never come around again. So what did she do? Left again to get back in family's good graces.

Sounds so ridiculous as I type all that, but yah thats it.

And yah maybe you're right. But I always think, who actually gets involved with the idea of marrying someone right away. You just dont know that right off.

But I think after a year of dating, you are working to something permanent. Just sucks that they leave....then come back and say it was a mistake. And I'm like yah it was, we had a good thing and you bailed and now its all too fucked up to start again.

Why leave to begin with you know?
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>>16762361
you have to play games
the more games you play the more lasting is the "i want to see if we can build a real relationship" period.
>>
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>>16762401
>>16762413
She said she's busy friday night because like I said, she might be tutoring. I didn't think of it at the time to say "how about saturday?" what do for damage control?
>>16762414
her best friend is my friend.
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>>16762416
I'm sorry to hear that. That's fucked.

> But I always think, who actually gets involved with the idea of marrying someone right away.
>You just dont know that right off.

You're absolutely right but you need to know that both parties have that in mind as a goal. Because what if that's what you want but the girl just wants to date around? Then you know you're wasting your time. If she also has marriage in mind, then you get to know each other and see where it goes. If it works out, great, if not, then it doesn't.

>But I think after a year of dating, you are working to something permanent
Is that true? I don't believe it is. You tell me.
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>>16762434
So ask her Thursday about Friday, and if she's busy try another time. And stop frogposting.
>>
There's a chick who I used to talk to a few years ago who ended up blocking me for some reason I don't know.

Is it a good idea to try and talk to her again? I doubt she recognizes me and the only reason I remembered her is because recently I streetpassed her on my 3DS
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I'm at a loss here. I basically just want to give up because I think no one will give a chance, so there's no room for improvement.

24, haven't left the house other than work and groceries/errands in almost 2 years. No friends, I don't have to tell you I've never kissed a girl. I live alone.

I'm trying to get my life together, because I'm miserable. I come home from my shitty job and switch between porn and complaining about my life on here - no wonder I'm miserable obviously if that's literally all I do.

I went to a bar this past weekend, thinking "meh I'll be out of the house and maybe booze will loosen me up".

Bartender was pretty cute and when she asked what I wanted I literally turned bright red and stuttered. I'm THAT afraid of girls. At 12 it's cute, at 24 it's fucking creepy I know. I feel like it's not even worth trying if I'm this bad, better to just wait for the solitude to kill me.
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>>16762437
Well I think after 3 months, things become serious. Anything before 3 months is just kinda having fun.

Now after a year, what are you really doing with this person? Know what I mean? Why waste time working on something or wasting time with someone that might not develop into something bigger?

I think 1 year, you should know the general direction the relationship is going.

And you should probably be settled down with this person by year 3 at least.

Again everyone has different standards and rules to go by I guess. But those are mine. I wouldn't make any permanent decisions until at least a year together. And if i didnt want to marry or move in with her by year 3, I think I would just cut it off.

And as far as her...yah it sucks. I'm just getting over it. But I still think of her a lot. I love the girl more than anything and I would have loved to have a family with her. She's just everything I want you know.

See, I had been seeing her for about 2 years when she left the first time. Came back a few months later and i was so happy. But it was constant shit with her family right from the get go and I knew she was gonna collapse. She is weak when it comes to them. And she left again. We have only spoke a few times since

Part of me down deep knows she will try again but I will be in a different place and will probably turn her down. It will be too late. And honestly that breaks my heart. Because we were so good for each other.
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>>16762457
You need to get used to social interaction in general. Join a social club or interest club in your area, and try to make friends first. Girls come later.
>>
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>For some reason, really attracted to unshaven, dyed haired, angry raging feminist type chicks

Anyone like that here? What kinds of guys do you/they usually go for?
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>>16762462
I think I can agree with that. It makes sense to me. Also I feel you, sucks how fate sometimes doesn't work out. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
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>>16762492
I kind of do but it's purely sexual. To completely dominate them.
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>>16762496
31 :/

running out of time m8
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>>16762500
Hahaha running out of time for a young girl maybe, not to find a good one though.
See, this is going to actually sound stupid but I met this girl and we're basically in the same position where we're looking for something permanent, but it's weird as fuck. We realize how dumb it is to talk like that because we're so young (18 and 21) she seems to be real about it to a bit of a scary degree. At the start she was saying stuff like "I'm 18 I don't actually know what I want. Things may change; you find someone else and so might I" etc. It sounds pretty realistic to me cause shit is bound to change but it also sounds like a warning for her real intentions. Is that paranoid thinking? At the moment we don't talk about that stuff anymore and have settled on "we'll get to know each other and see where it goes.
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>>16762499
Yeah, that's not where I'm coming from.
>>
I heard a rumour that women doesn't have penises.
Is it true? How does women pee?
>>
>>16762536
Our penises are detachable
>>
>>16762539
Great song.
>>
Girls, do you find it creepy or otherwise negative if a guy gets your number through a friend rather than asking you directly?

There's a girl I like and through mutual friends I know she kind of likes me too. We both keep avoiding actually getting to know each other better though (know each other at all through work, though we're not co-workers anymore) so our mutual friends have been trying to help. We both have pretty busy schedules so opportunities to meet up in a group setting and hang out are pretty minimal and the one time we did I kinda chickened out of asking for her number. Apparently she wasn't put off by that though and is still interested in meeting up again. I figured I'd nut up and ask her the next time but one of our mutual friends decided to take things into her own hands and ask her if she could give me her number...she said yes and so now I have it.

I feel like I cheated getting it and I'm not sure now if it looks like I asked for it or whether our mutual friend made it clear it was her idea.

Do I look like a desperate, pathetic creeper because of this or is it a reasonable scenario?
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>>16762530
hell anon you're young, i'm not. i do want a girl young enough to give me a couple of kids and door is shutting down on it.

as far as your thinking goes, I dont know if I would say it was paranoid thinking. I mean honestly, shes right. But you know that. And I know that. In fact, nothing at no age is permanent.

But her saying that is definitely an indication that she doesnt wanna be that serious right now. But that doesnt mean she has other intentions. I mean, I dont think she is fixing to walk out or cheat on you. But she realizes you all are young and need to slow down some.

Actually, I think that is a very mature move on her part. I would rather a girl start telling me the doubts or worries she has than to break it off out of nowhere or change plans out of nowhere. Thats what fucks a guy up, trust me on that.

So do like you're doing, just enjoy it. And don't put much stock in this until she does. Like the song says - live for today, tomorrow never comes.

Oh and FWIW...since I'm older than you lol. The couples that I graduated with and were together at your age have either all broken up or....gotten married and divorced in their mid 20's.

The odds would be heavily against you.
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>>16762565
She knows who you are and I feel like she would have given you it in person had you asked. You're good.
>>
>>16762566
>Actually, I think that is a very mature move on her part. I would rather a girl start telling me the doubts or worries she has than to break it off out of nowhere or change plans out of nowhere.
That's what i was thinking. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

>So do like you're doing, just enjoy it. And don't put much stock in this until she does
That's the plan. It'll fucking hurt if it doesn't work because this is my first relationship.

>The odds would be heavily against you.
Yeah, I know that. Sucks to know but I need to.
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>>16762571
Maybe. I guess it's a different situation than, say, asking for someones phone number before even introducing yourself.

I mean, maybe that's what's tripping me up here so much. We worked together for a while. We got along well and hung out with other co-workers after work on a few occasions and I never felt the least bit nervous around her. I had a crush on her at the time actually but lacked any and all confidence to even consider it. Still, didn't make me nervous around her. That didn't happen until I found out the feeling was mutual...now I just turn into a moron around her. She seems to do the same though so I don't know.
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>>16762576
you'll do alright man. if it doesnt work out, just try to have fun a for a few years.

looking back, im glad my relatoinships at your age didnt work out for me....i wasn't an adult.

I think men around 24 or 25 really become old enough to have a real mature relationship. So if I were you, I wouldnt worry too much about it.

Enjoy life because some day you'll realize how fast it goes.

I remember older people telling me the same and I didnt believe it, yet here I am telling someone the same.

Even though the odds are against you, if it doenst work out...just try to learn something from it.
>>
>>16762566
>>16762576
I should also mention I'm trying really fucking hard to not invest too much or bank on this a lot. It's hard but it's the only smart option. I feel like this has a 20% chance to work due to my ignorance of relationships and how they work. We've moved so fast. I feel like I've been with her for a year already despite it only having been almost 2 months so I'm trying to slow the fuck down.

>>16762589
>Enjoy life because some day you'll realize how fast it goes.
That's the plan. I hear it from my dad a lot, but he says it in regards to working and being successful.
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>>16762595
dont invest or bank on anything....especially relationships. Who is the only person you can control in this world? Can you control anyone? No. She is gonna ultimately do what she wants. You may even want out eventually.

Listen...HAVE FUN. Dont make plans for anything.

If you are still with here in half a year to a year, then you may take things a little more seriously. But I damn sure wouldnt think anything until she proved herself after that statement.

You will know in your gut how she really feels. Just keep your eyes and ears open and relax

Just remember she is fixing to hit the peak age of a multitude of dicks being thrown at her 24/7.
>>
>guy is always one to start conversation
>even if i don't reply will sometimes send another message 4 minutes later
>always replies with one word responses
y
>>
>>16762610
>But I damn sure wouldnt think anything until she proved herself after that statement.
Which one? I guess I should say she felt the same way as I do but that may be bullshit. Its just when I got too serious like an idiot she said that stuff. She actually mentioned looking for something serious before I did. But yeah, I'll have fun. I'm trying to detach myself. She's nice to have stayd with me this long honestly. I've fucked up HARD.

>Just remember she is fixing to hit the peak age of a multitude of dicks being thrown at her 24/7.
What age is that?
>>
>>16762265
>abort
Thanks for the honesty, probably for the best.
>>
Are women turned off by a guy having lots of/primarily female friends? I've never intentionally steered myself in this direction but where I find myself is that I have only a couple of friends that are guys where as the majority are women. Some straight, mostly lesbians. I don't really have a problem with it but I've started feeling kind of self conscious that it gives off some kind of bad impression. Am I wrong?

For clarification, I mean does it scare off potentially datable women, not just more female friends. Obviously the latter doesn't happen or I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
>>
>>16762629
The statement about we are young and you may want someone else or she might want someone else. But you should be happy that she is that honest about it. Thats why you don't put stock into it. Thats why you dont get serious until she proves she wants something more serious.

The only statement that bothers me that she said is she is 18 and doesnt know what she wants. 9 times out 10 girls that say this know exactly what they want. What she wants I'm not sure, but that would be the part I was skiddish about.

But I will say she is young and she may actually not know what she wants. It's just in my experience, an older girl can't really use that excuse. Because I'll tell you this, when a girl wants something; she'll do everything to get it. Just like my ex...she didn't want me bad enough to disappoint her mom and dad. So she may say i'm torn/confused/dont know what to do, but the fact is I'm not enough for her.

But like i say, I'm willing to give her benefit of the doubt cause she is so young. But likewise, don't put much in her cause is not stable right now. Just be thankful you got a girl that could tell you upfront.

The age? 21-25 or around that. Usually in college or work. Old enough to go to clubs and out with girlfriends. College guys will be after her. Older men around my age now would approach her. Her social circle will widen. But so will yours.
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>>16762649
I wouldn't say it's a dealbreaker, but I'd be uncomfortable if the guy I was dating had mostly female friends. A couple is fine, but not if they're the majority of your friends.
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